Sounds of Yesterday (2 page)

It’s sad to think about.

I did my online stalking, of course, and found out the Sawyer family moved here from California, for good. It didn’t say why and it’s not like I’m talking to the guy to ask questions. They’re a private family so at some point, all the hype will die down. Tom Brady and his family will gain all the attention when they appear in magazines showcasing them playing at the park.

Alex stops at my desk, not saying a word. His eyes find mine slowly, like he’s scared of something. Having him this close to me, looking up at him, is intimidating. He’s a guy that speaks to people, I just watch. It was uncomfortable making friends throughout my life. Zach and Sophie are my main ones. My
only
ones.

“Hey. Emily, right?”

The fact that this guy is even speaking to me, has me feeling giddy and nervous. I have no idea how I’m even going to form a sentence let alone say one word. People in general drain me so I tend to stay away and just do me. I like being in my own world, creating music. Sophie and Zach are my only exception to hang out with because I like them. Everyone else in this school finds that weird and thinks I’m stuck up or plotting their murders. Someone really came up to me sophomore year and voiced their opinions on how disturbed I looked and how I make them feel unsafe. My mom was called. So were the police to follow up on a ‘serious’ claim. It was terrifying.

Alex’s eyes continue to hold mine and I mentally slap myself. He’s waiting for an answer. And probably wants me to stop staring at him while I’m at it.

“Y–yeah.” I nod and bring my notebook that is lying on the desk up to my chest, hugging it. I usually hide behind things when I’m in a position that I don’t voluntarily put myself into. This is one of those moments.
Say something!
“You’re the new kid that nobody knows, right?”
Joking, okay. That’s good, right?

His lips kick up into a smile as he walks to the seat beside me. Sophie’s seat. He sits down and chuckles, wiping a hand over his jaw. I find myself staring at his hands longer than I intend. I’m looking for anything that will tell me what exactly he plays. Because I know he plays
something
. The internet didn’t mention that small fact and I didn’t want to dig too deep. I could easily ask Soph to give me dirt on him but that seemed wrong to do too. He’s a person not some object you can Google and get facts on. That’s why I stopped after ten minutes of investigating.

My eyes flick up to his and I wait. I never start the conversation. Small talk makes me anxious. When all I do is stare, he blushes. I kid you not, his cheeks redden and he looks down at his arms.

He’s mesmerizing. I have never seen a guy blush so easily before. I’m not intimidating. I’m your average seventeen-year-old girl with a pale complexion, dark brown hair, bright baby blue eyes, and completely stressed out with which college I’m going to end up attending next year.
Please let it be Princeton! Crosses fingers.

“Why here?” I ask, pushing myself to step out of my comfort zone. We can’t just stare at each other all day. I mean, I’m fine with that but maybe he’s not. “Boston? Your family couldn’t choose London or Paris or someplace amazing?” The Sawyer family is blessed with skill and talent. Alex’s mom is a fashion designer–think the grace of Vera with the variety of Armani–I know, she’s amazing! His sister, McKenna, is an artist, and his father, Damon, is a surgeon. They’re known by people who care about those kinds of things. And yet, they chose to live in Boston. In a regular home with regular neighbors. Okay, let me be honest; in an expensive home with rich neighbors.

Alex licks his lips and sits up straighter, scratching the back of his neck before looking at me. His hazel eyes dance over my face and I smile. I can’t help but smile every time he does that. Which has been a lot. Ever since he started school here, he’d just wave and smile at me. He never said a word, just graced me with that smile and those eyes. “I don’t know but I’m glad they picked here.”

As I’m about to say something, Sophie walks up to Alex’s desk with a scowl on her face. “You’re in my seat.” Gone is my happy friend. She’s currently channeling her inner bitch. She’s not really fooling me because I know deep down, she’s having a cheerleading moment, jumping and squealing with the fact that Alex is in
her
seat.

A defeated sigh leaves his lips as Alex runs his hand down his thigh. He starts to get up before he surprises me and sits back down. I see his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallows. He’s trying really hard to do something he doesn’t normally do. I’ve people watched for a long time. I can tell. “Can I have this seat for today? I promise I won’t steal your best friend.”

I sit here, immobile, with a look of awe on my face.

He noticed enough to know that Sophie and I are inseparable. I admire that. Some people don’t get us. The last time some guy took Sophie’s seat to talk to me last year, he ended up with a bloody nose. It was his fault though. He bluntly said, ‘get a new one, I’m trying to get laid.’ What an asshole.

“Um, that’s if Emily wants you there,” Sophie says, eyeing me with a cocked brow. She tries to act like the tough friend but she knows I have been too scared to utter a word to the new guy. And here he is.

“I guess I can deal with it for today,” I reply, shrugging like it’s no big deal. I glance at Alex and watch the corner of his lips curl up again. “There’s one rule though.” His smile starts to fade so I quickly add, “You have to talk to me. Mrs. B makes me fall asleep.” She’s a cool teacher but damn, can she talk.

“Deal.” Alex leans back into his seat and gets comfortable. The soft sigh that leaves his mouth makes my heart race and my body gets all tingly. It’s a happy sigh. He’s happy to sit beside me. And I am too.

Sophie winks at me as she takes the seat two rows in front of me. She’ll make me tell her everything next period.

I don’t get any work done for the rest of the class. Hazel eyes and a deep, sexy voice are to blame. His voice is like music. I don’t want it to stop playing. And as we sit here, whispering to each other, I can’t help but think,
I wish the school year goes by slowly.

The first month of school is almost over and instead of looking out the window to see the different colored leaves that fall brings, I end the day staring down at a huge red C written on my calculus test. Underneath said C, is Mr. McAllister’s note saying, ‘see me after class’.

Sophie tried to help me with my homework last week but my older brother, Declan ordered Chinese food and well, we stuffed ourselves and then Soph had to go home. We tried studying every day since but Zach would goof around, Sophie would get annoyed then join him, and then it’d be too late for real studying.

I’m determined to pass this damn class. I can do it. I will freaking do it!

Once the bell rings, signaling the end of class, everyone gathers their things and gets prepared for the last class of the day. Sophie isn’t in calculus with me. Alex is. I’m pretty sure he’s the only person in this class to get A’s. I’m bringing down the class average with all my C’s. Every week, McAllister hands us a test to see that we’re learning what he’s teaching. I’m clearly having difficulties.

Mr. McAllister calls out Alex’s name and waves him over to his desk. His meaty hands then snap at me to get my attention.

I get up slowly, not wanting to be there while he has to speak to Alex.

“Come on, Emily. We don’t bite.”
Dammit. So much for that plan.

I hug my books to my chest and breathe deeply. I stop at the wooden desk, Alex to my right, waiting for whatever is to be said.

McAllister leans back into his chair and eyes the two of us. “Do you two get along?”

Alex and I glance at one another then back to the teacher. We both say yes. We’ve hung out a few times since we’ve started talking. Every time ended when the softball team would flag down Alex and whisk him away within ten minutes of being seen with me. I’m grateful yet angry when that happens. I want to get over my fear of having a real conversation with him. We’ve only talked about what we were doing after school on the days we met up. I barely get four words out before he’s gone. He always looks uncomfortable when one of the players links her arm through his and starts making plans to see Alex later. He’d give me this look somewhere between ‘I don’t want to go’ and ‘I’m sorry’. It’s confusing sometimes. Sophie and Zach say it’s because he likes me. I stick to it’s because he doesn’t want to be manhandled by a chick like Sierra. She’s tough as shit and more on the tomboyish side. She’s scary, I admit it.

“What are your plans for Friday?” McAllister asks, scratching his jaw.

I could say ‘nothing, probably reading a book and eating then getting lost in music’ but being put on the spot for my laziness is kind of making me squirm. McAllister’s dark eyes land on me. He quirks a brow when I shrug. He sighs.

“Alex, will you be free?”

“I guess.” Alex adjusts the strap of his backpack. “I kind of already have something planned but–”

“Awesome! You can help Emily on Friday then.”

Hold up! What?

“No, I don’t–”

“Yes, you do.” McAllister cuts me off and rolls his chair forward, propping his elbows up on the desk, looking at me like I did something wrong to him. “You keep failing my tests.”

“I get C’s,” I whisper.
Jeez, make me look stupid why don’t you.

“Alex knows this stuff. He’s the only person I see you interacting with.”
Ohmygod. Please stop talking.
“If you want to graduate, you need to pass this class. My tests will only get harder. I see you failing if you keep this up.”

I look off to the side and pray that I can disappear at this moment. Teachers are supposed to help and guide you not make you feel worse about yourself.

“I’d love to help.” Alex tutoring me will not work. I will get distracted. I know myself! “Is that it?”

“Emily?”

“Yeah, whatever.” I stare down at my feet and wait to be dismissed.

“Good. Glad I could help.” McAllister gets up and starts erasing the board. “You two can go now.”

I walk my ass out of the classroom as fast as I can go. I bump into a student walking in the hall. I throw a ‘sorry’ over my shoulder but she rolls her eyes and continues walking.

“Emily, wait up!” Alex grabs my arm and I stop walking. Every time we’re together, he finds a way to touch me and I always end up blushing, stammering or stuttering.

“You don’t have to tutor me. You’re busy anyway. Sophie can–”

“I want to help.” Alex’s hand slips from my arm and he bites his lip, looking around us. “I’m not busy…I was actually hoping we could go out on Friday…before all that happened.”

His eyes meet mine again, inviting and bright. Hopeful.

He wanted to go out with
me
on Friday.

My brain has officially turned off.

See, that’s what will happen if he tutors me.

“I’m not stupid.”
Why did those words leave my mouth? Why?!
“I just…I get distracted easily.”

Alex nods slowly. “I get it.”

“No, you don’t.”
Word vomit. It’s going to happen. I feel it. Oh, god.
“I won’t be able to think if you’re there. Talking.
Breathing
.” My eyes widen when I hear myself. “You’re…distracting.”

He smiles and I melt.
Not good!
Melting at the sight of a smile is not a good thing, that’s a fact.

“It’ll be my greatest challenge then because you distract me too.” His fingers graze my cheek as he brushes looses locks of my hair back. “So after the tutoring, how about we go out and–”

“No dating!”
He never mentioned dating, you idiot!
Just. Stop. Talking. “I…I mean…” My heart beats wildly in my chest. I’m going to die of embarrassment. “Just tutor me. Please.”

He leans into me and I stop breathing. “You’re cute when you’re blushing.”

I. Just. Died.

Breathe!

Is it hot in here or is it just me? No, really. I need an answer. My insides have liquefied and I’m worried.

His lips meet my cheek and I sigh. I freaking sigh! And I know he heard it. He steps back and I see his damn smile. It warms my skin. It makes my stomach feel weird. It makes me
smile.
I’m still not thinking this through. My brain has lost connection with my body. I’m just standing here, doing whatever it is I’m doing.

“My place on Friday?”

“Fuck me,” I breathe.
Why is this happening to me? Please make it stop.

Alex winks again and I turn around abruptly.

All I remember is power walking to class with a huge smile on my lips.

Two days. I have two days to calm myself down.

Yeah, that’s probably not going to happen.

Alex Sawyer
likes
me. At least…I think he does. He could be playing with me because well, he’s Alex and I’m me. No one likes me because they actually
like me
. Everyone has an opinion of me because I don’t put out. And I’m weird. And I’m a loner. And everyone knows people want to fuck the loner because the quiet ones are always the freakiest.

Damn. I so want Alex to play with me though.

“It’ll be my greatest challenge then because you distract me too.”

I’ll think about that over and over again until Friday finally comes.