Soul Enslaved (Sons of Wrath Book 3) (66 page)

Tears sprang in her eyes, and she opened them to the same sobering sadness she felt reflected back in Gavin’s stare.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

Her savior. The one who’d chased away her darkest nightmare. The only man in the world she’d ever come to trust.

“Gavin, I don’t deserve you.” She stroked his cheek.
I feel ruined
, she wanted to confess but doing so scared her. Instead, she said, “Tell me how to be deserving of you.”

Without a word, Gavin strode across the room to her easel before returning to her side with a paintbrush and palette.

“I don’t know that a fight is a good idea.” She forced a smile.

Face stoic, Gavin dipped the brush in the black paint and, hand poised, leaned forward. “Lie down.”

His earnest expression told her he had no intentions of explaining his actions. With some reluctance and a lot of confusion, she spun and reclined on the bed.

The brush glided across her breast, and Sabelle let out a quiet gasp at the cool bristles dancing across her skin. With quick strokes, he limned the other breast, mirroring the first with the word
perfect
.

“The body is my canvas. It’s where I paint my darkest desires. Tonight, I want you to see yourself through my eyes. Know exactly why you’re deserving of everything that makes you happy. And I’m writing these in black, not red. Because they are truths.”

Her muscles stiffened, anticipating discomfort. Discomfort from the possibility of having all her flaws circled and highlighted—the humiliation of him thinking he had to appease her for it.

Across her belly, he wrote the word
beautiful
. His finger traced the twins’ C-section scar, just above her panty line, and he kissed it.

Along her thighs, he wrote
persevering
.

Down each arm, he wrote
strong
.

Across her heart, he wrote
mine.
“Always.” His velvety voice arrived like an answered prayer. He stood for a moment, as if admiring the words he’d written. “You see now?”

All she could muster was a tearful smile and a nod.

Gavin crawled over her, pressing her back against the pillow, and his lips seized hers in a kiss. “I’m going to make love to you, Sabelle. Over and over, until you’re exhausted by all the love I have inside of me. And then I’m going to make love to you again.” He stroked a hand down her cheek. “Maybe then you’ll believe me when I say, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

CHAPTER 39

Sabelle sprayed the perfume on her wrist, closing her eyes at the scent that would always remind her of Gavin. She threw her hair into a ponytail and left the bathroom, but only one step inside the bedroom, she stalled in her tracks.

White roses filled the room. On the bed. In vases scattered across surface. Petals on the floor.

In the center of it all, Gavin stood wearing a serious expression.

“What’s … going on?”

He strode across the room, coming to a stop in front of her, and as he knelt to the floor, her heart jackhammered inside her chest.

Gavin’s smile always seemed to carry a certain shrewdness—like that of a true gambler who might rob the good sense of anyone who didn’t pay attention.

The smile he offered then, though, radiated warmth from his eyes in a way that felt much more naked and raw, more vulnerable than she’d ever seen him, as though he was about to cut himself open and expose something sacred and untouched.

He opened his hands to a purple lotus, cupped in his palms. “I’ve … thought all night how to say these words to you, Sabelle. What exactly I can tell you that you’ll believe as truth. The simple truth is, I love you. Some men simply wish for an eternity. I want you for the rest of my life, and an eternity just isn’t enough. I want you to be mine. My tazschla. I’ve met with Cash and secured guardianship over Denya. If you bond, you’ll not lose that. Once we find her, I’ll draft a contract that she is yours until she finds a mate.”

“How did you secure guardianship?”

“Cash signed a contract that he no longer owns any of the females listed in that Black Book. He signed them over to me.”

She shook her head. “Cash wouldn’t sign them over. Not unless …”

“He didn’t bother to read the fine print.” Gavin’s gaze grew earnest. “Cash isn’t important to me at the moment.”

Her heart pleaded to say yes.
Say yes!
What more could she hope for? “Gavin, I …”
Say yes!
Tears blurred her view of his face. “I wish I could tell you … what’s in my heart. Every beat is chiming your name.”

What had she expected? It was a demon’s natural desire to bond with his female. In her fucked up DNA, bonding was a rare event, and Sabelle didn’t know the first thing about that degree of commitment. She’d always teased Denya, for having belonged in an era of free love, when, in reality, Sabelle could’ve probably led the movement herself. She wanted to love Gavin without confines.

But was it fair to him?

“What is it?” As he pushed to his feet, his eyes saddened as though he knew what would follow.

“I was twelve when my father left. I remember sitting in science class when the counselor came in to talk to me about what was happening at home.” She sniffed. “In the hour I sat in that suffocating, boring beige office, the only thing I remember being said was,
everything is going to be okay
.” Sabelle rolled her eyes to keep the tears from escaping. “For whatever reason, I clung to those words. I waited—year after year—for things to get better. And you know what? She
lied
. Sat across from me and lied to my face.” Sabelle swiped the tears that’d spilled onto her cheek. “For twelve years I was …
duped
into thinking he was a good man. So blinded by love, I missed what was below the surface. He left us. And even if I don’t think she’s worthy of love, he broke my mother’s heart. So much so, it ruined the woman she’d once been. Destroyed her.
He
made her a hateful, spiteful woman. And things
never
got better. My entire childhood was a lie, built on a bond that was also a lie.” Wiping her eyes brought Gavin’s pained expression into sharp focus. “My heart wants you. But my head keeps telling me this is too good to be true.” She couldn’t look at him. Not while his eyes tore right into her soul. Gods, she was dying inside, hating her childhood for being so fucked up that she couldn’t
allow
herself to be happy. Couldn’t fathom waking up with someone as wonderful and perfect as the man standing before her. “I think with some time … we’ll both decide if we really want to be bonded for eternity.”

“I don’t need time. I’ve already decided.” His finger lifted her chin, and his eyes stared into hers—those beautiful eyes that seemed to cast themselves right into the very depths of her being. “Every time you look at me, I feel an odd sense. Like I’ve found something that was lost.”

“Gavin, the lords will never allow you to rule the underworld while mated to a succubus. You’re expected to spread your seed. And I’m not royal blood. I can’t … I can’t imagine
sharing
you with anyone, let alone everyone. I can’t.”

“I don’t give a shit about my birthright. My future is with you. Period. I’m not going to follow in my father’s footsteps.”

Breaking from the intensity of his stare, she cast her attention toward the door behind him. “Perhaps I’m a fool for having any doubts. After all, you sacrificed yourself to find my sister. You very cleverly released me from my pimp. You saved me from imprisonment and gave my children a safe place. I have every reason I need to stay with you.” Her eyes watered again as the agony crushed her heart. “We’re in love now, but what happens when love fades? I was one of those kids, caught between two people who’d grown to hate each other in time. Who flung their shit words across the room, never once giving thought to where they landed. And you?” She focused on the tight knit of his brows, wondering if uncertainty or anger caused him to look so pensive. “Would you hate me for forcing you to give up what you were born to rule? If war is coming, you are the one who should be sitting on that throne, Gavin. A good man, with a good heart.”

He lifted both of her hands to his lips and placed a kiss on her knuckles. “Sabelle, I can’t promise that there won’t be days you’ll wish you’d never met me. I can’t promise that we won’t have our moments when we’ll both want to reach across the room and strangle the shit out of the other. And I can’t promise that, someday, we won’t see the world differently and be different people.” His finger brushed her cheek, and he slid his hand beneath her hair, gripping her nape. “All I can promise is that I’ll kiss you goodnight—every night—and love you more every day. I’ll try to be the man who deserves you. And no matter what happens. Wherever we are, or whatever you decide, I’ll always be here. I’ll never walk out on you. And I’ll never regret giving up royalty to be with you.”

The knock on the door diverted Sabelle’s attention. “Miss Sabelle, I’ve fetched a vehicle for you.” Bennett’s muffled voice bled through the wood.

“Much as I know this is just going to be another disappointing encounter, I have to deliver the news of Denya to my mother,” she explained to Gavin. “She might have some contacts that will help us find my sister.”

“I’ll accompany you.”

“Gavin, I’ll be fine. I’ve taken on some pretty frightening beasts lately. I’m sure I can handle my mother.” She lowered her gaze down, so his eyes didn’t rip her heart into a million pieces. “Let me think about this, okay?”

“I’ll be at the casino if you need me.” His flat tone betrayed the disappointment that must’ve festered somewhere deep inside his heart, regardless of the smile he wore. His fingertip brushed her hair. “This conversation isn’t over.”

She lifted up onto her toes and kissed him. “You’re right. It’s not.”

***

Sickness churned in Sabelle’s gut, as Bennett parked the Bentley alongside what was left of the busted curb in front of her mother’s trailer home. The place always made her nervous—more so, with the kids in the backseat. Add the stress of Denya’s disappearance coupled to the confusion and sadness that came with Gavin’s proposal, and it’d be a miracle if she didn’t end up strangling the shit out of her mother by the end of the visit.

“Ben, do you mind if they stay with you?” Sabelle gave a jerk of her head toward the back, where Thomas and Janie sat, gaze riveted beyond the window.

“Not at all, Miss.” Though his tone remained flat as always, Sabelle got the impression Bennett didn’t mind the children much. An odd trait for a troll.

She offered a smile and peeked to the backseat, drawing both innocent eyes to hers. “Mommy will be right back. Mind Bennett, you hear?”

The children nodded, and Sabelle slipped out of the passenger seat, catching a flash of movement in the trailer’s small front window.

She hated the idea of passing along even the smallest bit of news to Laura, but her mother had ties to some shady people in the underground sex scene, and in a fit of rage, Laura might just slip up and offer a name. Kinda sick that Sabelle would need to coax her mom into turning over her corrupt and abusive friends just to get information about her own fucking daughter, but hey, no sense getting pissed off over what had been a lifetime of horrific revelations about the woman.

With all breeds of dog barking from every direction, Sabelle trekked across the shit—literally, piles of it—strewn across what little grass, littered with garbage, made up her mother’s yard.

The door flew open, revealing Laura, swaying on her feet with a bottle of Jack dangling from her grip like it might crash to the mess on the floor any second. “What d’you wan’?”

Through the torn screen came wafts of stale cigarette and mold, crinkling Sabelle’s nose. “I need to talk to you.”

“I’m done talk’n’ ch’ou.” Every word arrived on a slur.

“Denya was abducted.”

“Whassat mean?”

Fucking idiot
. “She was taken. Kidnapped. Gone. That clear enough?”

The corner of Laura’s lip kicked up into a smirk. “Ain’t that some shit. You done real good, takin’ care of her.”

Steeling her muscles, Sabelle swung the dilapidated screen door open and stormed inside, knocking Laura in the shoulder on her way in. “You’re a fucking piece of work. I didn’t come here to share news. I came to get information from you. You’ve got ties to the scumbags of the city. I want to know who’s involved in sex slavery?”

A chirp of laughter flew from Laura’s mouth. “My whole goddamn Rolodex, honey. Take your pick.”

“I just told you that your daughter is missing.
Your daughter
. The one you gave birth to. The one you begged me not to take, when I left.”

The hag tipped her head, lips coming together as contemplatively as a moron could muster. “How dare you. How dare you come in here …” She pointed toward the door. “… with your fancy fuckin’ cars, and prance around here in your fancy fuckin’ clothes, askin’ me for help.”

Sabelle blew out a laugh—one coated in pity and frustration. “How, Mother? How did you get to be such a bitch? Was it Dad? Did he make you a bitch? Or was it a lifetime of failures and disappointments that made you this way? Because I kinda need to know.”

“You don’t know nothin’ ‘bout nothin’, and you sure’s hell don’t know nothin’ ‘bout your daddy.”

With arms outstretched, Sabelle shrugged. “So, enlighten me.”

“Enlighten you?” She
humph
’d. “Ain’t no enlightenin’ you. You and your sister think you knew everything about him. Well, ya didn’. Think you’re better than everyone else just because you got some
angel
in ya. Well, you ain’t.”

Sabelle’s breath hitched. “What did you say?”

“You ain’t better than—”

“Not that. What do you mean,
angel
? You told us our father was a lowly human.”

Laura tipped back the bottle of Jack, slugging it for a good few seconds before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “Ah, what the fuck? You wan’ know?”

She stumbled past Sabelle and disappeared into the bedroom. Sounds of glass breaking and the thud of heavy objects falling had Sabelle curious as hell.