SORROW WOODS (18 page)

something he can say that will piss me off even more.

“Aah, Kaiden,” says my Mother as she places a pot of casserole in the centre of the table.

“Could you please be a little more respectful when you’re in your room with her?”

I nod. I haven’t seen Anastasia properly for nearly a week, so in hindsight, maybe bringing

her back home when I knew my parents were here was a mistake. I know it bugs my Dad which I find

really funny, but annoying my Mom is something I’ve decided to try and avoid.

“Sorry, Mom,” I say sincerely.

She sighs and places a plate of buttered bread rolls down next to the casserole. “Is she

joining us for dinner?”

My Mom doesn’t like Anastasia. She hasn’t said as much but she makes it quite obvious

when she talks about her and refers to her as ‘she’ or ‘her.’ I think my Mother thinks that Anastasia dresses too provocatively, is far too loud, and cares too much about the way she looks and what

people think of her. The truth is, Anastasia isn’t the girl that most boys dream of taking home to their parents. She’s the girl that most guys want to have sex with, but she’s not exactly parent-meeting material.

Not that I really care what my parents think about Anastasia. We’ve only been together for a

few months and I’m not sure I care all that much about her really. She’s good in bed, but that’s

about it. She goes on far too much about her hair, make up, and nails, and she’s always bitching and falling out with her friends. She’s actually quite annoying at times.

She’s nothing like Serena. If Anastasia had been made to live with Serena for three days, I’m

quite sure she would have curled up into a ball and cried. She would probably have begged Serena

to do everything for her. She certainly wouldn’t have been able to kill and skin a chicken like Serena did.

“I think so,” I eventually say in reply to my Mother’s question. “She won’t eat much though.

She says she’s already had her calorie quota for the day.”

Mom stops and stares at me. “Did she actually say that? Is that tiny thing really counting her

calories?”

I nod. “She doesn’t really eat carbs so she won’t have the bread. She said carbs give you

cellulite.”

“She’s deluded,” she huffs.

Dad laughs. The three of us don’t bother to wait for Anastasia. We each spoon casserole

onto our plates and add a few potatoes. I grab three rolls of bread and dig in. I’ve really started to appreciate my Mom’s home-cooked meals since spending those few days with Serena.

“Have you spoken to the Scotts yet?” asks my Father. “That letter has been sitting there for

five days now, Kaiden.”

I shake my head. I don’t want to speak to the Scotts.

“Come on, Kaiden.” My Mother picks her wine glass up and takes a long sip. “You’ve known

the Scott family all of your life. I’m sure they just want to thank you and probably talk to you about those few days you spent with their daughter.”

I can’t do it. I’ve thought about it. I’ve thought about going there just to see Serena again but I can’t, not after how I left things with her on her birthday. During those three days that I spent with her, she saw the real me. No one, not even my parents, has ever seen that. I laid myself out bare for her. I didn’t have to pretend because she didn’t know any different, and yet she’s telling me she doesn’t like me. Not to mention, I don’t think I will be able to explain my behaviour at the café that day to Angela, when I knew where Serena was but didn’t tell her. I guess I’m ashamed.

“I’ll be very disappointed if you don’t do something, Kaiden. You could at least call them or

write them, explaining why you don’t want to visit,” she says in that disapproving tone I’ve become accustomed to hearing.

“I’ll think about it,” I say.

Anastasia picks this moment to waltz into the dining room. She plops herself noisily down into

the seat next to me. “What are you talking about?”

My Dad rolls his eyes whilst my Mother remains silent.

“Oh God, you were talking about
that
again, weren’t you? I’m sick of hearing about it,” she says with irritation.

“Anastasia,” scolds my Mother, “that’s very rude of you. Kaiden has not only brought two

children back to their parents and solved two crimes, he has also changed all of their lives for the better. What he has done should not be discarded so easily.”

My mouth drops open as I turn to stare at my Mother.

“What?” she says. “I probably should have told you sooner, but what you’ve done has made

me so proud that I’m fit to burst. You’ve made two of my closest friends’ dreams come true. You

brought their daughter back, the child we’ve all spent years helping to look for.”

Anastasia shrugs and puts a child-size portion of casserole onto her plate. She doesn’t even

thank my Mother.

After I’ve said goodnight to Anastasia and watched her drive away, I shut our front door and run

straight upstairs to my bedroom. I pull the shoebox out from under my bed and sift through all of the newspaper articles and print-outs from the internet that I’ve stashed, reading all of the stories that have been written about Serena.

I know I shouldn’t be doing this. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about her all day long but I

can’t help it. She did something to me and now I can’t get her out of my head. I’ve started to

compare Anastasia to her. I’ve started to look at every girl’s body and compare it to the way Serena’s body looked in her white nightie.

I know it’s stupid. I know a guy like me could never be with a girl like her, especially since she hates me. But I can’t help wishing things were different. I wish I hadn’t lived with them for those few days. I wish I’d never had a taste of what freedom felt like. Most of all, I wish I’d never found them.

Serena

I sit on the bottom step of the stairs and watch the delivery driver that’s dressed in a head-to-toe navy uniform as he slowly lowers the fifteenth box onto the shiny floor.

“I think that’s the last one,” he puffs. “I’ll just go and get your invoice.”

Auden turns to me with wide eyes and a huge grin and laughs. “I can’t believe I’ve got to

carry all of these up to your bedroom.”

I smile at him. “I’ll help. I’m quite strong.”

He looks at my arms that poke out of the t-shirt Angela has given me and nods. “I guess you

do look quite strong.”

“Yeah, I had to chop firewood and fix the house and stuff, which seemed to get my muscles

working.”

He hesitates for a moment and pushes his hands into his pockets. “Were you happy there,

Serena? You weren’t mistreated or hurt in any way, were you?”

I look up and shake my head. “Kaiden asked me that question too. I wasn’t unhappy at all. I

guess I didn’t know any difference really and I wasn’t hurt, not once.”

He sighs. “That’s good then. I have always worried whether or not you were happy. I know

you didn’t miss us because you didn’t know we existed, but I at least wanted you to be happy

wherever you were.”

He looks sad. They’ve both looked sad when speaking to me. I’ve been here with them now

for four days. At first, I couldn’t get used to the noise of the ocean just outside my doors. I couldn’t get used to the feeling of another new bed. And I certainly didn’t know how to act around Angela

and Auden.

But now things are starting to feel normal. I don’t feel like I’m a stranger to them or this house anymore. They’ve not asked me any questions really, and I haven’t really asked them any yet. I just wanted to figure out how to be the Ayla they think I am, or should be, all on my own.

I feel sorry for them. I feel bad that I was taken away from them and that they’ve missed

seeing me growing up. It’s not their fault, but it isn’t my fault either. I walk over to Auden and wrap my arms tightly around his back. He squeezes me back so hard that I almost can’t breathe. It feels right.

“I love you, Serena,” he whispers into my hair.

I take in his smell that reminds me of the fake fragrance that I detected on Kaiden when I

first met him and squeeze one last time.

“I know,” I say, since I can’t think of anything else to say. “When I love you, I’ll say it back.”

He nods. “That’s all we can ever ask for.”

“Oh.”

I pull away from him as we both turn to look at Angela, who looks as if she’s about to cry. I

don’t want to go over and hug her too just because I was caught hugging Auden, so I remain where I am as we all look at each other.

“Here we go guys,” says the delivery driver, interrupting the awkwardness. “I’ve found your

invoice which says you should have fifteen boxes.” He looks up from his piece of paper and silently counts the boxes that are scattered around us. “Yup, fifteen. They didn’t have the lamp in stock that you ordered, so they’ve given you one in the same colour but a slightly different style. I hope that’s okay.”

Auden looks at me and nods. “I’m sure that’ll be fine. If it’s not, we’ll just send it back.”

The delivery man pulls his trousers up by the belt over his round belly and nods at us. “Nice

to see you back here, Serena. I’m sure your bedroom will look lovely.”

“Thank you,” I say quickly, before Auden has a chance to tell him to mind his own business.

I’ve come to realise that my disappearance didn’t just affect my parents. I get that now.

I notice a magazine on the mat by the front door and bend down to pick it up. As I flick

through it, I notice women on almost every page that sparkle and glitter at me. Their hair is smooth and shiny and styled to make them look even more beautiful than they already were. Their legs look soft and smooth and so does the rest of their skin. They wear dresses that reveal the curves of their bodies and shoes that have heels so high that I don’t know how they manage to walk in them.

“I want to look normal,” I blurt.

Both Angela and Auden turn to stare at me and the magazine in my hand. They look at each

other carefully before Angela walks towards me.

“What do you mean, darling?” she asks.

I shrug. “I saw the way Kaiden looked at me when we were in the woods. I saw him looking

at my hairy legs, and the hair in my armpits makes me sweat. I know from the books that I’ve read that girls shave and wear make-up and have their nails done and stuff.”

Angela blinks at me. “Are you sure you want to look like that though? I mean it’s not a bad

thing, but I guess it’s just different than what you’re used to.”

I nod. I’ve thought about this. I’ve thought about what would be the best way to fit back into

my life and I think that by not being hairy, it will help me to fit in better.

“I don’t wanna stand out and be different any more than I already am,” I say.

She nods. “Alright then, shall I see if the salon can fit you in today?”

“Is it the salon that does my hair and sorts my legs out and stuff?” I ask.

She smiles and nods.

“Okay then,” I agree.

“While we’re out, we should perhaps think about getting you some clothes too,” she says

thoughtfully.

I look down at the over-sized t-shirt I’m wearing and nod. “That’s probably a good idea.”

“I’m so proud of you, Serena.”

I look up at her and pick up one of the boxes. “Why?”

She picks up one of the smaller boxes and follows me up the stairs. I hear Auden trailing

behind her. “Because you’ve only been back here for four days and you’re already getting into the swing of things.”

“It wouldn’t do me any good to do it any differently though, would it? I realise the life I have

been living isn’t normal and I didn’t eat normal food or dress in a normal way, so if I’m being made to live a normal life, I may as well look and dress normal too,” I tell them.

“If that’s how you want to look at it, then it’s fine by us.” She follows me into my bare-

walled bedroom.

“Right,” sighs Auden, “how about you tell me what you want and I’ll try my best to do

exactly what you say while you’re out having your hair done.”

I point to the wall with the white sashes and the double doors that lead to my balcony. “I’d

like that wall in pink and I’d like the rest of the walls to be left white so the coloured things I’ve picked make up the colour of the room.”

He nods.

“I’d really like a pink floor and white bedding if that’s possible, but it doesn’t matter if you

can’t do that.” I point to the wall opposite my bed. “I’d like my drawers and my television unit over there with my lamp on either side, and the rest of the stuff just scattered around. Please.”

He nods and looks at the wall.

“Can I also have some shelves on the bit of wall that goes in near the bathroom?” I ask,

hoping I’m not requesting too much.

“That’s called an alcove,” he informs me. “And yes, I can make you some white shelves.

What will you use them for?”

“The books,” I say. Even as I say it, I can feel my face light up. The thought of having one

hundred new books to read makes me want to jump up and down and squeal like Elodie used to do

when she knew we were having chicken for dinner.

“You pair make sure you have a nice time and I’ll do my best up here. If it’s not finished by

the time you get back, then I promise it’ll be done tomorrow,” he says kindly.

I smile at him and follow my mother into her bedroom to try and pick out something that I

can wear to the salon. She hands me a pair of black shorts and a white vest top. My feet are smaller than hers though and don’t quite fit into her white pumps, so I have to sort of drag my feet along to make sure that the shoes don’t fall off.

I haven’t stopped staring out of the window the whole thirty minutes we’ve been driving. I’ve seen the ocean road, the palm trees that loop down over it, and several houses that are actually bigger than ours. Angela says the salon we’re going to is very discreet and in a part of town where we