Sophie's Heart (51 page)

“Things will never be the same,” Sophie prayed in Czech to the Lord from where she sat on the edge of her bed. “I will have to leave here. I don’t think I can stand it, Lord. This has become my home. I told Rita and Tory never to rush, and then I kissed him.” She was crying now. “We haven’t even been on a date, and I kissed him! I will never be able to look him in the face again.”

Sophie now laid her head on her pillow and sobbed. She was tired and awash with misery, or she might have thought about the fact that Alec had kissed her as well. Indeed, Alec had started the whole thing. The only thing she knew right now was pain over the belief that he had certainly been kissing his wife while holding Sophie in his arms. She had never known such heartache.

Had she even dared to hope that she might be wrong, she might have altered her next move, but suddenly her mind was made up. She had to run from this place. To be a substitute was more than she could bear.

Was it too much, Lord, to want his love for my own? I can’t stay here and pretend. I just can’t.
And again she sobbed into her pillow even as she decided that she must put some space between her and Alec Riley. She would not stay away forever, but by morning she must be gone.

Forty-Three

T
he next morning Alec came through the kitchen a few minutes before 6:00, but the note was already on the kitchen table. He picked it up with a steady hand that belied the way his heart hammered in his chest:

I will not be down today.

Sophie

It was to the point, but said nothing. Did she come back down last night so she could sleep in, or had she actually left this note before 6:00 this morning? If Alec hadn’t been afraid of waking her, he would have knocked on her door right then to see if he could gain an answer.

Instead, he pocketed the note and left one of his own for the kids. He didn’t want them to know that the situation had stepped out of the norm—at least not yet. Craig was sure to suspect, but he wanted to avoid upsetting Tory, if at all possible. His note only told them not to look for her today, and that he would call before lunch to see how they were doing. Beyond that, he could do little.

He went to the truck then and backed into the street. He didn’t drive away, but sat for a moment looking up at Sophie’s windows.
Are you in there, Sophie?
His heart pleaded.
Please show yourself so I can come up and talk to you.
The curtains did not stir. Alec sincerely hoped she was asleep in bed, but somehow he doubted it. He forced himself to drive away without the answers he so desperately wanted, all the while trying not to count the hours before he could call the kids on the slim chance that she had been in touch.

Had this not been the month of July when Wisconsin was very hot and muggy, Sophie would never have gotten away with what she did that morning. She’d been sitting in Gladys’ backyard since 5:30, a small bag of clothes beside her. Mosquitoes buzzed around and even landed to bite, but other than giving an occasional swat, Sophie did not notice them.

She glanced at her watch for the umpteenth time and saw finally that it was after 7:00. Her bag and purse gripped in one hand, she rose with more grace than she felt and moved around the house toward the front door. It was not at all surprising that Gladys was still in her robe, but Sophie knew that she hadn’t wakened her.

“Why, Sophie, you’re out early.” Her voice was surprised, but not unwelcoming.

“Yes, Gladys. Some time ago you said I could maybe use your house in the basement. Do you still have offer?”

The fact that Sophie’s English had deserted her told Gladys more than her words did.

“Certainly, Sophie. Come right in.”

Sophie moved stiffly forward. Once in the entryway of Gladys’ home, she thought she would relax, but the back of her neck was beginning to ache with the rigid way she held herself.

“Have you had breakfast, Sophie?”

“No, but I will not wish to be burden.”

“I’ll tell you if you are. Why don’t you head downstairs and get settled in? When you get back, I’ll make some toast for you. I can’t remember, Sophie—do you take your coffee black?”

“With cream,” Sophie said, and for some reason tears rushed to her eyes. Someone could shout at her right now, and she would put her chin in the air. Gladys’ tenderness she could not handle.

Gladys didn’t comment but saw her to the basement door and moved back into the kitchen. She stood by the table and prayed. Sophie’s face had been so pale and her eyes looked as if something tragic had occurred. Things like death and houses on fire ran through Gladys’ mind, but she dismissed them. Whatever this was, it was a matter of the heart. Gladys could only speculate as to what might have happened, but most assuredly it had something to do with Alec Riley. There could be no other reason for Sophie wanting to leave her home.

Footsteps on the stairs reminded Gladys that she hadn’t done a thing about breakfast, so when Sophie entered the kitchen she was working on the coffee. Sophie sat at the kitchen table. She was not accustomed to being waited on, but she suddenly felt very shaky.

“What room did you choose?”

“The one in the corner, with two windows.”

“That’s my favorite, too.”

“It will not be long, Gladys. I will find a place.”

Gladys turned to look at her. “Don’t worry about it, Sophie. You’re quite welcome here.”

Sophie nodded, but did not speak. Gladys put a wonderful meal on the table and kept the conversation light. Sophie was able to eat, but excused herself not long after she was through. She was very tired, and the bed in her room downstairs looked inviting. She started to read her Bible, but could not keep her eyes open. She slept until just before noon.

“Hello.”

“Hi, Craig,” Alec said when his son answered the phone.

“Oh, hi, Dad.”

“How’s everything going?”

“All right. Rita’s lying outside with a book, and Tory’s writing a letter or something.”

“Okay.” Alec hesitated and then said quietly, “Have you heard from Sophie?”

“No.” Craig’s voice now turned confused. “Was she supposed to call?”

“No, I just hoped.”

Silence stretched between them for a moment, and then Craig said. “I thought you talked to her, and she decided to take the day off.”

Alec wished he had kept his mouth shut. “No, Craig. There was a note on the table that said she wouldn’t be down. After last night it was rather abrupt, and I didn’t want anyone upset.”

“So you haven’t talked to her at all.”

“No.”

“Well, what if something’s happened to her?”

“I thought of that, Craig, but she did leave a note.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Listen, I’ll try to get done early so we can talk tonight. Do the girls seem all right?”

“Yeah. I haven’t said anything to them.”

“Okay. I’ll see you tonight.”

“It’s all my fault, isn’t it, Dad?”

“You mean that she’s taken the day off?”

“Right.”

“No, Craig, it isn’t. I was the one who rushed her.”

Again they fell silent, but for only a moment.

“Are you going to be all right?”

“Yes,” Craig said, his voice now sounding normal. “I’ll see you later.”

“Okay.”

They said their good-byes, each anticipating their talk that night; unfortunately, it made the afternoon seem long. Alec was home just after 5:00, but he felt like he’d left days ago. Rita, who had given little thought to Sophie’s day off, since she really believed that Sophie deserved a life of her own, now began to wonder if the housekeeper’s absence might be the reason her father seemed preoccupied at supper. He never failed to thank his daughter when she cooked something, but tonight he barely noticed what was on the table.

When the meal was almost over, the phone rang; it was for Tory. Alec only half listened to what was being said until Tory called his name.

“Dad, Crystal wants me to spend the night.”

Alec barely managed to keep the surprise off his face. “I think that would be all right, Tory. I mean, as long as you feel good about it.”

Tory nodded, her eyes shining.

“Have at it,” Alec grinned at her, thinking how far she’d come.

“He said okay, Crystal. Uh-huh. All right. Yeah, I’ll bring it. Okay. See you then.”

The phone was replaced.

“Her dad’s going to come for me in half an hour, and they want me to stay all day tomorrow.” Her young voice was filled with excitement.

“You better go pack your gear. I’ll see to your dishes.”

“Thanks, Dad,” she called and charged from the room. Alec spoke when the sound of her footsteps had died away.

“I wanted to talk to all three of you kids tonight, but maybe this is best.”

Rita stared at her father and then at Craig; it wasn’t hard to figure. “About why Sophie was gone today?”

“Yes. Help me with the dishes, and we’ll talk when Tory leaves.”

The dishes were done in near silence, since an air of expected doom hung over everyone. Alec didn’t want them to feel this way, but at the moment he couldn’t think how to ease the situation.

Mr. Calkins came about 45 minutes later, and Alec watched for signs that Tory had changed her mind. He saw none. In her enthusiasm, she nearly forgot to kiss him good-bye before she ran off to the Calkinses’ car without a backward glance.

“This is a first, Larry, so I don’t know what you should expect.”

Crystal’s father nodded in complete understanding. “Crystal has assured Tory that she would be allowed to call you no matter the time or go home, even if it was the middle of the night.”

“Thanks, Larry. Knowing all of that, she’ll probably be fine.”

Mr. Calkins took his leave then. When Alec came in from the front porch, he found Rita and Craig waiting for him in the living room. This room was more formal than the family room, so he was a little surprised, but they both looked ready for whatever he had to say. Alec made himself sit down and start immediately.

“I think you both know that I’ve had strong feelings for Sophie for some time now.” He waited until they nodded and then continued. “However, I haven’t felt until recently that I could pursue anything with her. When I finally did make a move, I moved too swiftly.”

“Is that why she wasn’t here today?” Rita wished to know.

“Yes,” Alec told her with regret, hoping his oldest wouldn’t ask for details.

“Where was she all day?”

“I don’t know, Rita. She left a note saying she wouldn’t be down, but she didn’t say where she was headed.”

“Or if she was coming back,” Craig inserted quietly.

Alec nodded, his look weary and anxious. “I don’t think she’s gone for good. That is, I really believe that I’ll be able to talk to her again. But before I do, I need to know how you feel. I would like very much to get to know Sophie better, but not if you’re against it.”

They were quiet for so long that Alec knew he was going to have to take things one question at a time.