Songbird (31 page)

“Your life went to hell a long time ago,
flower power.” Her gaze followed mine, “But you’ve picked up an
interesting passenger. If I had someone like that riding shotgun, I
don’t think I’d complain much.”

“He’s not going to ride along forever. Not
his circus, not his monkeys.”

“Funny you should say that.” She waved a hand
encompassing the stage area. “Aren’t you riding shotgun in his
circus and wrangling his monkeys? Why shouldn’t he do the
same?”

“This is work.”

“This is life.” Juliette shook her head. “His
life and yours.”

“Only for another four weeks.”

Juliette patted my shoulder. “I think he’ll
surprise you.” And then she wandered off. So much for the moral
support of my friends.

Since we canceled the backstage passes, I
squeezed in a short interview in Dallas. The interview went much
like the Austin one. I couldn’t dismiss it the way Nicholas had,
but I didn’t make a fuss like I had before. He’d simply turn it
around.

Benjamin hadn’t shown his face again, but I
had no doubt he would. Eventually. There was no real reason to
worry about that until it happened. And a little part of me hoped
the bullet grazing him was enough of a warning that he wouldn’t
fuck with me anymore. That still left the rest of my life in a
chaotic mess though.

“You’re pulling away.”

Hmm. I pulled out of my thoughts and looked
over at Nicholas. “I’m sorry, what?”

“What’s worrying you, Songbird?” Nicholas
asked and linked his fingers through mine. I stared down at our
joined hands. Such a simple act but one with so many meanings. What
did he mean when he did it? Why was I even wondering about it?

“Bianca?” Worry threaded his tone.

“I have some life choices to make.” I
shrugged it off, hoping he would too. “The tour is going well, and
we’re almost done. It’s time to think ahead is all. I’m sorry for
being out of it.”

“Like?” He slid across the seat to take up
some of my personal space.

“I never took music classes.” I drummed the
fingers of my free hand on my thigh. “My degree is in business
science. It was the practical thing to do.”

“How’d you learn to read and write it?”

“Self taught. Library books. For obvious
reasons I wasn’t allowed to take classes in my youth.”

“Pretty cool. I took music theory classes
plus composition and crap in college. I don’t think they helped me.
Your way is probably less costly and more fun.”

“What I’m saying is I have no real
credentials to continue composing.”

“The music speaks for itself, and says
otherwise.” Nichols squeezed my hand. “Your music is great, and it
obviously comes from the heart. If you wanted formal training now
you could do that.”

“I suppose.” I stared out at the rain damp
city. “But it’s not really practical when I already have a degree.
I think Taylor might ask me to come back to New York. To do my job
as partner and he’d have every right to do so.”

His entire body went rigid and his voice was
oddly clipped. “Do you want to go back to New York?”

“I fled to New York from Annapolis. To hide.”
I laughed without humor. “See how well that worked? I hated the
city. It’s not the city I fell in love with. As difficult as my
start in Nashville was, I love the slower pace. I love the accents
and the general relaxed atmosphere of the country people. It’s so
different than the city.”

“Tell me about it,” he requested quietly.

“I came to Nashville on a bus. I left
everything in New York except a single bag of clothes. My name, my
car, my money, everything stayed in New York. I didn’t want any of
it.”

“How’d you survive?” No judgment. Just
curiosity.

“I spent the first few months in a shelter. I
got a crappy job that paid next to nothing, and started from
scratch. Eventually I got a better job, was able to buy a new car,
and managed to finally rent a place of my own to get out of the
shelter.”

“You’re one of the strongest women I know.”
Nicholas kissed my knuckles. “You can do anything you want,
Songbird. I don’t understand what all the stress is over. You’re a
powerful, intelligent woman with skills and experience to make any
job she chooses work for her.”

My self-depreciation protested at the words
but I couldn’t deny the sincerity in them. Something in my chest
unknotted. Even as I fought to believe the words, part of me needed
to hear them.

“Do whatever you want to, Songbird. Don’t let
society or whatever dictate what you have to do. You want to write
music? Then write it. Fuck everyone else. You want to manage a
tour? I’m sure Ezra would be thrilled to utilize another pair of
hands like yours. Or hell, start a branch of Gracing in Nashville.
The world is yours to conquer however you see fit.”

I laughed a little at myself. He was right.
Leave it to Nicholas to cut through the bullshit and lay everything
out.

“Maybe I should do all three.” I contemplated
the idea for only a moment. Doing all three would be exhausting and
I wouldn’t be able to give my all. Picking one was safer.

“More power to you.” Nicholas leaned over and
kissed my cheek. “Better?”

Surprisingly, I was. In the end, he was
right. I only had to decide what I wanted to do, then do it.

I nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“Any time.” He attempted to stretch his legs
out in the Lincoln and scratched his stomach, “Is it time for lunch
yet?”

I coughed to hide the laugh and shook my
head. “A few hours yet. I might have a candy bar in my bag.”

“Nah. Want a burger. With bacon.” He sat
forward. “Henry is there a burger place close?”

Henry met my eyes in the mirror and I shook
no ever so slightly. He turned back the road. “I don’t believe so,
Mr. Walker. Once we arrive at the venue, I’m more than happy to
take a look at the map to see what’s available.”

Nicholas threw himself back with a disgusted
sigh. “Why is food easier to find at home?”

“Because you know the area.” I squeezed his
hand trying to comfort.

“I suppose. I suppose.” He eyed me. “I guess
I could eat desert first.”

I squealed when he lunged.

Two o’clock in the fucking morning and I was
looking for Nicholas. Again. I found him standing shirtless, his
face lifted to the sky. In the rain. In the middle of the
night?

The exasperation slipped from my lips before
I could check the huff. “You’re supposed to be on the bus. We’re
about to pull out.”

“Feels good.” He tipped his head and smiled.
“Concert was great wasn’t it?”

“One of the best. You’re going to catch a
cold.” I lifted my umbrella enough to cover us both. “Come on. Onto
the bus.”

He hadn’t drank that much had he? The stage
beverages were sealed water bottles and I only saw the one shot of
Bacardi 151 when they concluded the concert. Arc had suggested
toasting the crowd for an awesome show and surprisingly the others
went with it. Had there been any other alcohol?

“You’re not still mad at me are you?”

I would not blush. Mad wasn’t really the
word. Henry had heard a lot more than was appropriate. I hadn’t
been able to look the security guard in the eyes since.

He faced me fully and hugged tightly. “I
don’t want to sleep alone tonight.”

I sighed. “You’re getting my suit wet.”

“Please don’t make me sleep alone
tonight.”

“Come on. We need to board the bus.”

“I’m not moving until you agree to sleep with
me.”

I snorted. “I think we’re past that point. I
don’t recall you asking for permission the first time you crawled
into my bed.”

“Will you crawl into mine?” He nibbled on the
lobe of my ear. “Please.”

“No hanky panky. The day is full
tomorrow.”

He chuckled. “Hanky panky?”

“If I kill you, Ezra will be able to triple
the price on your work.”

“Yes, but then you’ll miss my penis.”

I choked on the laughter. “Maybe. Come on.
Let’s get some sleep. We start at seven in the morning.”

“I can blame you for this right?”

“Radio show, so blame Ezra.” I hugged him
back because I understood the hate for the morning hours. “We’ve
got time for a nap between ten and two.”

I knew Nicholas wasn’t a morning person. When
push came to shove, neither was I, but duty was duty. At six
thirty, I merciless woke him. If I had to be awake in misery so did
he. Wasn’t there a saying about misery loving company anyway?

He groused, and bitched and was generally not
nice. The bathroom door slammed and I didn’t bother with a sigh.
Early morning days were always the hardest to get through.

He was sluggish but otherwise well behaved
for the radio jockey. From the station we went to the conference
interview. He leaned against his window with eyes closed.

“Nicholas?” I reached out and touched his
arm. He jumped and I pulled my hand back. His arm had been
unusually warm.

“Tired.” He said and rubbed his eyes. “Nap
after this right?”

I nodded watching him carefully. “Yes.”

He dropped right into bed the moment we got
back, kicking off his boots without bothering with the rest of his
clothes; all of that was bizarre for him. Nicholas didn’t sleep in
clothes, as a rule.

Feeling a little bad for the long day, I
didn’t wake him at two. He hadn’t moved from his face down position
since collapsing. Sound check wasn’t until four so he wasn’t needed
right away.

He woke on his own a little after three. “Why
didn’t you get me up?”

I looked up from the laptop where I was
working on a business proposal for Ezra and Taylor. I had an idea I
was toying with and wanted all the details in black and white. That
way, I could review it for flaws before moving forward.

Nicholas was bleary eyed and a little pale.
His hair tousled in wonderful ways but I could have done without
the scowl.

“You were tired. You’re not technically
needed until four anyway.” I saved my work and closed the laptop.
“If you want to clean up before going over you still have some
time.”

I walked over to him and he stepped back. I
frowned. “Nicholas?”

“I stink.” He spoke quickly. “I’m going to
clean up.” He spun and marched back into the bathroom. Well, that
was weird.