Somewhere I'll Find You (35 page)

She knew she had to go as far away as possible – go somewhere quiet where she could write and get back to her normal life . . . just as she had done when she settled in California.  She could write anywhere and her back account was hefty enough to allow her that long vacation she had been promising herself.  She could escape . . .

But I can’t – can I?  If it’s not Miles nudging me into doing things . . . it’s always something.  Why can’t I just be normal?

It was her silence and the telltale quiver of oncoming tears in Paige’s eyes that turned Michael’s attention back to the receiver of his cell. 
I cannot watch her cry when she will not let me give her comfort.  I cannot do it.  And poor Aunty Cath – she hasn’t a clue what’s going on.
 

“Yes, Aunt Catherine, I’m still here.  Yes, that’s wonderful about the magazines.  I know it will be hard going through all of that with your arthritis, but I’m counting on you.  Now, I’m afraid that I must run.”  He knew Paige would bolt the minute he turned his back, and he was right.  By the time he
tucked the phone back into his pocket,
the study was empty.

So was the hall.

Running out, Michael cursed darkly at what he saw.  Once again, he watched Paige bolt down the drive.
 
Thank God she’s not got the sen
se to take the car, but Christ
, the woman can run!  I only hope anyone that’s out there isn’t good enough to strike a moving target. 
It was a weak hope, and he knew it
as
he
lunged out the door.

Though Paige had managed
an excellent head start on Michael, she
wasn’t even certain where she was going; still, she coaxed and nursed her anger, even while she felt it choking her.  She knew she was free inside her anger, something she could never be with affection.

But Paige found that she was dr
aining the well dry. 
What she would find in the dry, murky depths of her soul, where the questions would begin, she didn’t want to consider.

Slowing to a walk, she wondered for a moment how things might have been different if she had meet Michael under different circumstances.

If only.
 

Fiercely, she shook her head.  Where would thinking like that get her, anyway?

No use.  No damn use, O’Neal.

The mansion no longer held any solace for h
er.  A jade-eyed man had broken through her defenses with his penetrating questions, dragging up memories
that
widened the holes in her soul, breaches that she had tried to bury under her dedication to her work.  She had tried to conceal these dark pieces of herself with the sharp, bright cover of her own ambition, but he had seen through all of that.

Now the shadows were everywhere
, dragging their cold hands through every instance of her day.  However, their presence, paired with Michael’s persistent questions about her past, was forcing her to consider an even more distressing
problem
.
  Recent events, twisted and confusing as they were, had forced her to wonder what had truly happened the night she had taken her terrible fall.  As she thought reluctantly back, she had come to realize that no one had ever really given her any concrete answers about the circumstances surrounding her accident.

So now it’s up to me to discover the truth.  I’m the only one who can.  But what if I don’t want to know what really happened?

Pausing by a small pond,
Paige
brushed a tear from her cheek.  She knew that she was running away, and that running wasn’t the answer.  But what choice did she have?  California no longer held any protection for her. 
A jade-eyed man with too much practice at unnerving people and finding the minute cracks in their defenses
had brought a sledgehammer down on
the façade she had built around her life, pounding away at the walls around her heart.
 

Forcing her to take a closer look at the
smoke screen,
she used to fool herself – and others.  Forcing her to see the glaring
contradictions that
lay just beneath the surface of her own deceptions. She did not want to see the monsters which hid inside that darkness … but just as the siren’s lure of her mysterious gift called to her, so too did these questions.

Damn him!  Things were fine until he came along!  I don’t want those questions answered!  I don’t need to see what lies in the dark.  Why does he make me look?

Nearby movement drew her attention
away from her thoughts
.
  Her heart hammered in her throat for a moment as she whirled around, expecting danger, but not finding it.

There in the shrubbery, drowsing against the warm ground lay a huge, black dog.  Standing in the sunlight, she could almost believe it was the
very same
dog
who had been such a part of her recent dreams.

He’s a dead-ringer for him, down to the shine in his coat … But there are a million dogs like that, aren’t there? I’m just being … paranoid.  God, I’m starting to think like Michael. God help me…
 

Simply
deciding to
ignor
e
it, she sank on the soft grass, listening to birds singing in the trees, while she listened to her heart.  Peace
quietly
surrounded her as frustration and fear slowly left.

Here . . . it was all right here, and Michael had been right.  She would finally have her answers, so long as she trusted herself to look for them.

Tugging
placidly
at the grass, her eyes half-blinded by sunshine, she felt something warm and soft slide next to her leg.  The dog’s amber eyes, keen and sharp, looked up at her, giving Paige the oddest sense that it was waiting for something.  Something it may have been waiting
for forever.  She ran a hand uncertainly over the sleek fur, smiling when the animal turned to shove against her palm.  “You’re a beauty, aren’t you?”

The dog seemed to scowl, whining sharply in protest.

For the first time in what seemed like ages, she laughed.  “Oh, I see.  I should have said handsome
, shouldn’t I, big fella?
”

The keen eyes blinked solemnly before its tail wagged twice in quick succession.

“I’m sorry,” Paige insisted contr
itely.  “Truly.”  She patted his
large head while the dog settled back on
his
velvet paws, turning
his
gaze calmly to a path that wound off to the right.  Paige could have sworn he was looking for someone.  Shaking her head, she laughed at herself
as weariness settled over her
.
  It was too tempting to drowse here in the aftermath of her anxiety
.
 
Coffee is what I need.  Not daydreams.
I have to get back.

“Were you looking for someone?”  The strangely familiar voice
seemed
somehow lyrical in its calmness
even as it broke into her thoughts;
nevertheless
, it
startled her badly.

She pulled back, her hand
moving
to her throat.
  “Oh, you startled me!”

He was a tall man – she guessed he stood
over six feet
tall –
dressed
almost
all in black
despite the heat of the day
.
  The cut of his clothing was oddly old-fashioned – was that a cravat she could see peeking out of the high collar of his shirt?
 
A
certifiable Hollywood eccentric
for sure
,
she thought. 
But he looks familiar.
  His face was handsome, with high cheekbones and deep brooding eyes.  A dark mustache graced his upper lip, leaving her drawn to firm lips and a clean jaw.  It was
a compelling face, and somehow, oddly familiar to her;
yet it seemed her mind refused to tell her why that was. 

It’s a
lmost as if I don’t want to know.
  Despite the warmth of the day, she shivered, rubbing her hands over her arms.
 

The man bent over to run his fingers across the dog’s sun-warmed coat.  “Did I?” he asked, but the question seemed vague. “I’m terribly sorry for it.”

“You were so quiet when you came up,” she pointed out. 
And where in the hell did he come from anyway?
  “It sounds crazy
, but …” She laughed nervously.
“W
ell
,
you seemed to have come out of nowhere.”

The man smiled wistfully.  “Maybe I did just that.”

Paige felt an inexplicable lump rise in her throat at the depth of sorrow she caught in his eyes.  “Strange.”

“Strange?” he questioned.  “What’s strange?”

Despite the brevity of the question, their conversation flowed easily as if they had known each other for years.
  Paige’s lips tensed in a frown as green eyes replaced the calm face before her.
  “I know someone else who has that singular talent.”

Sharp eyes the color of rich oak, probed her face.  “And it bothers you, does it?”

Paige shrugged.  “It might if I let it, but I won’t.”  She looked up, oddly unafraid of this mysterious stranger.  “Do you live nearby?”

The hard lips curved into something that only partly resembled a smile.  “You might say that.”

His enigmatic reply caused her to frown. 
Either he does or he doesn’t.  He’s definitely odd . . . although that’s not a crime.

“You like it here.”  Oddly, the words were not a question but a soft- spoken statement.

For a moment, Paige had the strangest feeling that his eyes were looking straight through her.  Seeing things that seemed just out of her reach.

Memories.

Dreams.

The dog at her leg whined softly.

The man looked down at the animal, a genuine smile blazing across his face.  “Ah,
she
’s a good one, Ar
go.  This one sees more than we
might expect.”

Argo wagged his tail as if in agreement.