Something Like Summer (32 page)

“
No. I mean,
where were you
?”

“
What? You mean the last
five years?” Now it was Tim’s turn to lapse into silence. “All
right, uh, high school. Fuck. Senior year I went to Conroe High
School instead.”

“
Just to get away from
me?”

“
To get away from myself,”
Tim corrected. “Man, you aren’t going to make this easy, are
you?”

“
No.”

“
Maybe doing this over the
phone was a bad idea.”

Maybe not, Ben thought. Not
being able to see how handsome Tim was went a long way in helping
Ben stay angry. He switched on the bedside lamp and reached for the
photos from London. He flipped through them until he found the
photo of the London Eye. While riding the massive Ferris wheel,
Jace had held the camera out at arm’s length and snapped a photo of
him and Ben kissing. That memory was like a cold shower right
now.

“
Can’t we meet up? Talk
face to face?” Tim tried.

“
No, I don’t think so.”
Ben almost laughed.

“
Why? Are you indecent?
Lying in your bed with nothing but your boxers on?”

Ben paused. He had heard a
strange echo over the phone.

“
You’re still so damn
scrawny!” Tim chuckled from the window, snapping his phone shut.
“But it suits you.”

“
Jesus Christ!” Ben swore.
“What the hell are you doing here?”

“
Let me in before somebody
calls the cops,” Tim said, pressing his face against the
screen.

“
I should call them
myself! How did you find me?”

“
Looked up Allison in the
phone book. C’mon, let me in.”

Ben shook his head ruefully
and grabbed a shirt. He headed to the front door, but stopped to
check himself in the bathroom mirror. Not for anyone else’s sake
but his own, he promised himself. He wanted to look good so Tim
knew exactly what he was missing. Ben decided to make him wait even
longer and went for a glass of iced tea before opening the front
door.

Tim stepped in, ignoring
Ben’s personal space. He smelled like cologne and beer, an enticing
combination.

“
You know what?” Ben
placed a hand on Tim’s chest to stop him, not the best move
considering how impressive it felt. “This isn’t a good idea. Wait
outside. I’ll get dressed and we can go for a walk.”

Tim looked disappointed but
shrugged and stepped back into the night. Score one for the home
team, Ben thought. I’m in charge of the situation, not him. He
hurried to get dressed, a sense of excitement welling up within him
that he mentally chastised before giving into. Why not be excited?
He would finally get all the puzzle pieces he had been missing over
the years. Tim would answer his questions, Ben might even flirt,
but at the end of the evening there would only be blue balls. For
them both probably, but at least Ben could call Jace and talk dirty
for some release.

When he was about to turn
off the bedroom light he noticed the London photo and pocketed it
to use as a talisman, should his body stop listening to his heart.
When he left the duplex he found Tim leaning against a sports car
in his best James Bond pose. Ben wondered if Tim’s sugar daddy had
bought it for him as the image of the leering old man returned to
his mind. He made sure to ignore the car, no matter how
impressively shiny and new it was. He walked past Tim, gesturing
that he should follow.

“
Same old Benjamin,” Tim
remarked as he pushed away from the car. “Always knowing what you
want and getting it.”

“
Yeah, well, not
everything’s the same,” Ben retorted, not having a clue what he
meant. All he knew was that he needed to sound more mysterious than
he actually was. “So how did Conroe High treat you?”

“
Same shit, different
school,” Tim replied. “Well, not completely the same. There was no
you.”

“
What about girls?” Ben
asked.

“
Tried to avoid them. Just
had a prom date senior year.”

“
Krista Norman again?” Ben
spat, feeling surprised at how much he still despised her all these
years later.

“
No. Not Krista. I stopped
seeing her about the same time that we beat the crap out of
Bryce.”

Ben smiled at the
memory.

“
That was another good
reason to switch schools,” Tim added. “I’m sure Bryce was aching
for a rematch. They give you any more trouble?”

“
Not really.” There had
been the usual name calling but nothing more, although Ben had
carried pepper spray until graduation.

Ben led them to a tiny park
squeezed between two parking lots. There was only space for a
couple of benches, a tangle of untended plants, and the occasional
drunk. They pushed past the bushes to a large flat rock that
offered seating next to the river.

“
Nice view,” Tim
commented.

The tranquil sound of the
water combined with the reflection of city lights on the river made
this one of Ben’s favorite places for solitary thinking.
Occasionally he brought Jace along. They once had frenzied sex
here, wondering all the while if they were going to be caught.
Bringing Tim here wasn’t a betrayal. Ben was using the memories of
Jace as reinforcements to his willpower.

Tim let Ben sit first
before plopping down himself. With both of them cross-legged, the
little rock didn’t afford enough room for them to sit without their
knees brushing against each other. Ben readjusted, pulling his legs
up and holding them against his chest.

“
So what about you?” Tim
asked. “Drag any lucky guys to the prom?”

“
So straight from high
school to Austin then?” Ben asked, ignoring the
question.

“
Yeah, pretty much. My dad
graduated from here and insisted that I do the same. I didn’t know
what I wanted to do, so I agreed. It’s worked out pretty well so
far. People are so liberal in Austin that it’s easy to be gay
here.”

Ben almost toppled over.
“You came out?”

“
Yeah.” Tim beamed at him.
“Got kicked out of a fraternity because of it, too.”

“
Seriously?” Ben asked,
grudgingly impressed.

“
Yeah. It was stupid, too,
since I’d slept with half of them before coming out. Well,
not
half
, but you
know.”

Ben didn’t know, but he
couldn’t help imagining. He thought such things only took place in
porn movies.

“
A lot of the frat boys
were the same way I used to be,” Tim said. “Some just liked to mess
around, which was all right, but some guys were so closeted they
couldn’t even admit it to themselves. I guess I got a good taste of
what I put you through.”

Ben was silent. He hadn’t
expected Tim to ever come out. That he had was incredible. How had
his life changed since then? Did he have boyfriends? Did he take
them home to meet his family? How did his parents feel?

“
So tell me about your
life,” Tim pressed. “Was Chicago just a lie to keep me away from
you?”

“
No, I was there for
almost two years.”

“
Did you like
it?”

“
I loved it. Everything
but the weather. The museums were amazing, the shopping—just the
city itself. There was always something going on. Culture thrives
there. It didn’t feel like a dead city, like Houston.”

“
Yeah.” Tim nodded,
remembering. “Austin must seem boring in comparison.”

“
Not really. It’s taken me
a little while, but it’s starting to feel like home.”

“
You know,” Tim leaned
toward him, “they say home is where the heart is.”

“
They also say you can
never go home again,” Ben pointed out.

“
Touché!” Tim shrugged.
“So what about guys? I guess you’ve probably dated a
lot?”

Now it was Ben’s turn to
shrug. Part of him wanted to keep Tim in the dark about his love
life, to reinforce that Tim had forfeited his right to be a part of
Ben’s life. Then again, bragging about Jace would be satisfying.
Inspiration struck. Ben took the photo of him and Jace out of his
pocket and handed it to Tim.

“
His name is Jace. We’ve
been together for over two years. Someday he’s going to take me to
Paris.”

Tim took the photo and
examined it wordlessly. He swallowed roughly. He was holding back
tears! Ben instantly regretted his decision and cursed
himself.

“
I guess I deserve this.”
Tim’s voice was trembling.

“
I’m sorry,” Ben
whispered, wanting to reach out and comfort him in ways that he no
longer could.

“
Don’t be,” Tim said,
pulling himself together. “I missed my chance, right? A guy like
you doesn’t stay single.”

“
You either,” Ben smiled
sympathetically.

Tim shook his head. “Nope.
Not since you.”

“
But you said-- The frat
boys?”

“
That was just sex,” Tim
snorted. “All the guys I’ve been with were nothing more than a
one-night stand or fuck buddies. None of them meant
anything.”

In Ben’s darker moments, he
had hoped that Tim would never find anyone else and would always
regret leaving him. Now that he was face to face with that reality,
Ben wished the opposite. They should be sitting here, both boasting
about their boyfriends and exchanging stories of their romantic
escapades. The idea of Tim being alone all these years was tragic.
A bit unlikely, too!

“
You can’t tell me that
none of those guys fell for you,” Ben challenged. “If not a frat
boy, then someone.”

Tim grinned, having fully
recovered himself. “There were a few, yeah, but they weren’t--” He
shot a glance at Ben and let the sentence hang before he stood and
stretched. “I tracked you down tonight in the hopes of seducing
you, but instead the evening was completely
embarrassing.”

“
No, it
wasn’t.”

“
You aren’t the one who
almost cried. I think I’m going to cash in my chips and call it a
night. Hey, you still have my phone?”

“
Yeah.” Ben stood to dig
it out.

“
Good. Here, trade me. You
can have this one,” Tim handed him one that was nearly identical.
“I bought it to stalk you tonight, but I obviously don’t need it
anymore. It’s all paid up.”

“
I can’t,” Ben
protested.

“
You can. Besides, I like
the idea of being able to get a hold of you whenever I
want.”

“
Oh. Well,
thanks.”

They walked back to Tim’s
car in silence. Ben struggled for something to say. So much of his
life revolved around Jace that making conversation without bringing
him up was difficult and he didn’t want to upset Tim further. As
they approached the car, the sugar daddy issue came to mind, but
there were some things Ben would rather not know about.

“
I’m happy for you,
Benjamin,” Tim said. “I’m glad that someone recognized how special
you are and held on tight.”

“
Thanks,” Ben said
awkwardly. “I’m sure there’s someone out there for you,
too.”

“
Oh, there is.” Tim
winked.

Ben didn’t know quite what
to make of this as Tim slipped into his car and was gone. He looked
down at the new cell phone in his hand. What had he gotten himself
into?

__________

Chapter 22

Ben didn’t know what Tim’s
major was, but it wasn’t in subtlety. He didn’t hesitate to make
use of the cell phone he’d given Ben. He called the next morning
just to “test the phone” and to ask what classes Ben had. Then he
called in the afternoon to invite him go-kart racing. Ben gave a
flimsy excuse not to go. In the evening Tim called to inform him
that he was picking him up anyway.

Ben gave in, despite
Allison’s disapproval. On the go-kart track that night, an epic
race of tiny proportions took place. Ben took the lead, the
symbolism of being chased by Tim not at all lost on him. He half
expected a go-kart version of an airplane, piloted by Jace
naturally, to descend from the sky and attack. Like a miniature Red
Baron, Jace would rain twin trails of bullets down the track until
Tim’s car exploded into flames. Of course this never happened.
Instead Tim announced that Ben had earned a round of beers on his
tab for winning the race and chauffeured him off to a
bar.

Ben carefully nursed two
beers, determined not to do something stupid. As bemusing as it was
being the center of Tim’s attention, he wasn’t about to ruin things
with Jace. His heart knew to whom it belonged. Regardless, Ben was
careful not to hurt Tim’s feelings by avoiding any conversation
about Jace, and Tim never mentioned his sugar daddy.

Ben was dragged to lunch
the next day and invited out to dinner, before Allison launched a
defensive maneuver and made Ben promise to take her to the movies.
Ben fulfilled his social obligations, but couldn’t help checking
out the other cinema seats before the lights went down, almost
expecting to see Tim lurking there.