Something Like Summer (30 page)

Once the performance
started, Ben found himself enthralled by the vocal talents of the
singers. Each voice had so much raw power that he found it
difficult to believe they weren’t boosted electronically. He sat in
rapt fascination for the first hour, soaking in as much as he
could. The second hour he began to squirm, eager to leave the
theater so he could attempt to imitate what he was
hearing.

While the music had won him
over completely, the plot left much to be desired. From what he
could understand it was simply a string of rocky relationships,
passionate betrayals, and untimely deaths. Perhaps that’s all real
life was, he mused. He’d had his share of dysfunctional love, but
he hoped to avoid betraying anyone he cared for. Death was
inevitable, but he expected it to be a long time coming.

He looked over at Jace, who
was lost in his own thoughts. Ben wondered if they would be
together on that final day. If so, would they go at the same time,
or would one of them be left behind to struggle with grief? These
thoughts were too abstract to be frightening and were quickly
forgotten by Ben, who chose instead to dwell on the warm feelings
of love and desire that always came from being near his boyfriend.
The future was always uncertain, but at least now it wouldn’t be
lonely.

__________

Chapter 20

Time became a blur that
swept Ben along, often leaving him breathless and disorientated.
Not all of his academic credits had transferred seamlessly, meaning
he had extra work to catch up on. His classes were much more
demanding than those of his old school. Often he would spend his
every waking hour trying to balance all his projects and studies,
barely finishing one before more work was added to the pile. Then
Jace would manifest like the eye of a storm, pulling Ben free from
his frenzy and forcing him to slow down and relax, if only for one
night. Ben began to appreciate rather than resent the demanding
schedule of Jace’s job, since he had so little time of his own to
give.

Finals battered Ben like a
vicious storm, testing his determination and will. Just when he
thought he couldn’t take anymore, the clouds pulled away to reveal
the empty bliss of summer. Ben flew home, intending only to stay a
week, but ended up staying the entire summer break. After the first
few days, he moved his luggage from his parent’s house to Jace’s
loft apartment.

Ben took a job as a waiter
at a vegetarian restaurant downtown. He didn’t enjoy the work, but
it helped keep him occupied on the frequent nights that Jace was
away. He also felt proud being able to take his boyfriend out
instead of expecting Jace to pay for everything.

With Jace so often absent,
Samson warmed to Ben. At first he was only willing to occupy the
same mattress to guard Jace’s side of the bed. Eventually he moved
over to cuddle against Ben’s leg. By the end of the summer, Ben
would often wake up with the cat sprawled on top of him, something
Jace insisted he had never seen the cat do with anyone but
him.

The days when Jace was in
town were bliss, and he often offered using his airline connections
to take them on a short trip somewhere. Ben declined, preferring to
have as much privacy together as possible. His appetite for Jace
was insatiable. Sometimes they would venture out and explore
Houston, searching for nooks of the city that neither of them had
yet seen. Mostly they would stay home, taking turns cooking,
lounging around and talking with light music on in the
background.

Jace met the family and
performed stunningly, charming Ben’s mother and managing to talk
shop with his father. Karen insisted on being present, which had
Ben nervous, but her typically rude comments were parried by Jace’s
subtle wit, leaving her puzzled and everyone else laughing. Life
couldn’t have been better.

When summer break ended and
Ben had to return to Austin, his heart ached as he packed his
possessions scattered around Jace’s apartment. He wanted to
continue living there, so much so that he seriously considered
transferring to the University of Houston. Jace dismissed the idea,
reminding him of the complications that came with transferring
credits, and that the connections Ben had made in his current
school would be crucial in the final year.

These points made sense,
but Ben couldn’t help wondering if Jace was slowly tiring of him.
Ben supposed that his constant presence might have been too much
when Jace was home, but he had been invited, and wouldn’t their
relationship lead to living together eventually? Maybe it was too
soon for Jace, but Ben had no reservations and was willing to give
all of himself to the other man.

His fears appeared to be
confirmed as soon as he was back in Austin. Jace’s calls became
less frequent, and when they did come his boyfriend sounded
distracted, even distant. Ben became convinced that Jace was hiding
something from him when he stopped volunteering what he had done
with his free time. The third week Jace cancelled a planned visit,
and the fourth he didn’t call at all.

Ben could no longer deny
it. Their relationship was falling apart, and he had no idea how to
fix it since he didn’t have a clue as to what was wrong. He was
playing Monopoly with Allison one night, both of them doing shots
of tequila every time they landed on each other’s property, when he
decided to take action. The results weren’t pretty. He called Jace
and left an angry voicemail when he didn’t answer, one that ended
with him sobbing into the phone.

Allison tried to console
him by breaking out two tubs of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and
pigging out with him. Ben was scrapping the bottom of the paper
carton when the doorbell rang. He gave Allison a moody look,
silently asking her to answer it. Good friend that she was, she
complied.

Murmured voices came from
the entryway. Ben was straining to hear when Jace walked into the
kitchen with an arm full of roses. Ben wiped the ice cream from his
mouth and reached up to check his hair, before giving up and
blushing.

“
I’m sorry,” Jace said,
proffering the roses. He set them on the kitchen table when Ben
didn’t take them. “Look, I’ve been an idiot, but I think you’ll
forgive me if you come with me.”

“
I don’t know,” Ben said,
his head spinning. He wished that he hadn’t done all those shots
and was beginning to regret horking down all the ice cream, too. “I
just don’t understand what I did wrong.”

“
You didn’t do anything
wrong,” Jace sighed. “I was trying to be romantic and surprise you,
but I overdid it.”

“
Overdid what? Why haven’t
you called?”

“
Just come with me, okay?”
Jace held out his hand. “There’s something I want to show
you.”

Ben’s heart melted. He
reached out and took Jace’s hand, a shock running through him as
they touched. His treacherous heart insisted that his brain forget
everything and forgive Jace. He would eventually demand answers,
but right now all he wanted was a kiss.

“
What have you been
drinking?” Jace laughed once their lips had parted.

“
Tequila,” Allison said
from the doorway. “Sorry.”

“
It’s all right,” Jace
said, leading Ben toward the front door. “I’ll try to have him back
soon.”

“
No, you won’t.” Allison
smiled knowingly.

Once in the passenger seat,
Ben focused on sobering up. He had always been convinced that this
was an issue of mind over matter, but the streetlights refused to
stop swaying.

“
Wait a minute,” Ben said
abruptly. “This is your car! Did you drive out here?”

“
Yup,” Jace
confirmed.

“
Why?”

“
You’ll find out in about
two blocks.”

Jace pulled onto a side
street and then into an apartment complex. He navigated a few turns
before finding a spot and parking. After he turned off the car he
regarded Ben, the engine clicking as it cooled.

“
What are we doing
here?”

“
You’ll find out soon
enough. Come on.”

Ben stumbled out of the
car, wondering what was in store. Did Jace have kids or something?
A secret heterosexual life? Or maybe he was being brought to some
underground sex club. Oh god! Was he being sold into sex
slavery?

“
Are you all right?” Jace
said, putting an arm around him. “You don’t look so
good.”

“
I just drank too much,”
Ben replied, realizing it was true. Sex slavery indeed. He was
about eight years too old to be viable on any black
market.

Jace led them up a couple
flights of stairs, pulled out his keys, and unlocked a
door.

“
You’re staying here?” Ben
asked, starting to feel excited.

“
You could say that.” He
opened the door and a familiar ball of grey fur appeared in the
entryway.

“
Samson!” Ben said in
disbelief, reaching down to let the cat smell his hand. He looked
up to see more that was familiar. Along with the cardboard boxes
stacked in the hallway were souvenirs from Jace’s travels hanging
on the wall and the old-fashioned coat rack with the jacket that
Jace had worn on their first date.

“
No!” Ben said, finally
catching on. “No freaking way! You live here now?”

“
Since last week,” Jace
said in apologetic tones. “I wanted to have everything set up to
surprise you, but then I was called away for work and--”

“
You’re so stupid!” Ben
said affectionately. “I can’t believe you moved here!”

“
After this summer I
realized it would be too hard to be apart from you,” Jace
confessed, pulling Ben toward him. “I hope this doesn’t freak you
out.”

“
What about your
work?”

“
Well, you know. It
doesn’t really matter where I live with my job.”

“
It does if you want to
fly international,” Ben said. Austin’s airport was technically
international, but didn’t have nearly as many connections as
Houston.

“
I’ll figure something
out,” Jace said with a shrug.

“
I love you,” Ben said,
meaning it now more than ever.

“
I love you, too. Sorry
about being so dense.”

“
It’s all right. Show me
the apartment.”

Jace gave him the grand
tour, or rather Samson did. The cat led them from room to room,
head and tail held high. The apartment was the standard two-bedroom
affair common in such complexes, but already personal touches were
evident: fortune cookie wrappers, toy mice, the smell of Jace’s
aftershave in the bathroom along with the endless supply of hotel
shampoos and soaps he always brought home.

“
This is the best part,”
Jace said, tugging open the sliding door that led out to the
balcony. “Samson loves this. I couldn’t get him to come in the
first night.”

Ben leaned over the
railing, taking in the uninspiring courtyard below. Jace came from
behind and wrapped his arms around him. “So how’s school?” he
asked.

“
I finally chose my
major.”

“
And?”

“
English lit.”

Jace barked in laughter,
and when Ben turned around he saw a smirk on his face.

“
What?”

“
It just so happens that I
have a degree in English lit.”

“
Really?” Ben was
surprised that he had never asked before.

“
Yup.” Jace nodded. “What
do you plan on doing with it?”

Ben grasped for any of the
ideas he’d had over the last few weeks, but all avoided his
intoxicated mind.

“
Exactly,” Jace
winked.

“
Oh no!” Ben said in mock
horror. “Am I going to end up a stewardess, too?”

“
Ha, ha,” Jace responded
flatly. “I don’t think you have the temperament for it.”

“
Seriously though, do you
think I should change it? I guess I figured it was a nice general
degree. I could write for a newspaper, teach, edit… things. Oh man,
I don’t have a clue.”

“
It’s okay,” Jace said
reassuringly. “Most people have a degree that doesn’t match their
eventual professions. A degree is mostly just a piece of paper
proving that you’ve made it through boot camp. Your employer will
glance at it and never give it a second thought, if they even ask
to see it.”

“
I still feel like I
should know what I want to do,” Ben sighed.

“
What do you like
best?”

“
Singing, but we’ve been
over that before.” The problem was, Ben didn’t see how he could
make a career out of singing. He had no illusions of becoming a pop
star. He didn’t enjoy composing or performing in a choir. What did
that leave, singing telegrams?

“
It will all fall into
place,” Jace said confidently. “You’ll see.”

* * * * *

With Jace now living in
Austin, Ben was home so infrequently that Allison was threatening
to get a new roommate. Eventually he invited her over to house-sit
during one of Jace’s absences, which helped appease her. Soon
afterwards, academic insanity swept up both of them again.
Allison’s major was in psychology, since she now planned on being a
counselor. Her workload made Ben’s look light in comparison. He
began to spend more time at home again, helping to clean up and
cooking for her since she rarely ate properly otherwise.