Something Like Spring (8 page)

Jason yawned and stretched himself awake. Caesar did the same a few moments later. He sat up, considering the three small windows set into the vaulted ceiling that were the only natural source of light. The muted blue sky suggested morning was still breaking. Caesar rolled over to reach the nightstand and turned the alarm clock to face him.

“Shit!” he said, sitting upright. “Mom will be up soon. You better get out of here.”

Instead of replying, Jason just laughed.

Caesar blinked at him. “What?”

“Your hair. It’s standing straight up!”

Caesar tried to smooth it down before he nodded. “You should see yours. Hey, you’ve actually got eyes!”

Jason brushed at his bangs selfconsciously.

“You shouldn’t do that,” Caesar said, swinging out of bed and walking to the pile of clothes on the carpet. “Here.”

Caesar held up the white bandana he’d worn the other day. Jason just shrugged at it, not having a clue how to turn a square of fabric into headgear.

“Watch.” Caesar folded and flipped the bandana until it became a long ribbon. With one knee on the bed, he bent over and used this to brush back Jason’s bangs, tying the bandana behind his head. “Now your hair is sticking up too.”

Jason patted the top of his head experimentally. “This is stupid.”

“Yeah, but it’s nice to see those green eyes. And the rest of your face.” Caesar looked him over. “It’s a nice face.”

Jason pulled off the bandana and held it out. “I look dumb.”

Caesar shook his head. “Keep it. There are tons of ways to wear it.” A noise in the hall attracted his attention. “You really should get back to your room.”

Jason shrugged, not understanding why it would matter, and feeling weird when Caesar cracked open the door to peek down the hall. Had they done something wrong? All his fantasies were still a secret, so Caesar couldn’t know the things Jason wished had happened. To anyone else, the night was as innocent as a sleepover.

“Coast is clear.” Caesar opened the door all the way. “Go go go!”

Jason hurried down the hall, glancing backward once. Caesar was still at the door.

“Thanks for keeping me safe from the zombies,” he whispered.

Jason nodded, ducking into his room. He shut the door—even though he knew Mrs. Hubbard didn’t like that—and sat on the edge of the bed. He considered the bandana in his hands, wondering if Caesar was embarrassed about needing someone to comfort him after his nightmare. Maybe that’s why he didn’t want Jason getting caught in his room. Or maybe, in Caesar’s mind, the night hadn’t been all that innocent. As they lay facing each other, perhaps they had been having similar dreams.

Jason held the white bandana up to his nose and breathed in. Then he hid it between the mattress and box-spring before he rose to take his turn in the bathroom.

* * * * *

“Ready to go?” Peter tugged on the straps of his backpack to make sure they were tight and considered him with raised eyebrows.

Jason had been loitering by the front door for the last five minutes, hoping Caesar would hurry up and finish whatever he was doing. After showing up at the breakfast table and sneaking a wink in his direction while wolfing a bowl of cereal, Caesar had disappeared upstairs again. Jason was hoping to ride to school with him and had mostly forgotten Peter even existed. Until now.

“Well?”

“Yeah, I think I have everything,” Jason said reluctantly. Perhaps Caesar was waiting for him to leave, not wanting to attract suspicion by them being too chummy. If so, then maybe Jason had been right. Last night had been special to them both.

“Not the best move, skipping church,” Peter said as they began their journey down the sidewalk. “But then, you knew that already.”

Jason glanced over at him, wondering if Peter could possibly be twelve years old. Aside from his videogame marathons, he seemed much older. Like thirty. Sure, life in foster care could be hard, but Jason didn’t feel like it had aged him prematurely. Unless he was too similar to see the truth. Was he just as jaded and calculating?

“I don’t like church,” Jason said. “That’s enough reason not to go.”

“Has nothing to do with whether you want to go or not,” Peter said. “Mrs. Hubbard—Mom—was upset during the whole drive there. Couldn’t stop talking about it.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jason said. “She gave me an earful before you guys left.”

“Then why didn’t you go? Unless you’re playing the redeemed sinner.”

“Redeemed sinner?”

“Yeah. If you’re good your whole life, nobody cares. You never get credit for it because that’s who you’ve always been. But if you’re bad and then later realize the error of your ways—” Peter made bunny rabbits with his fingers to surround this with quotation marks. “—then everyone makes a big deal out of how hard you’ve worked to change. I refused to wear these stupid clothes for the first few weeks here, and then showed up at the breakfast table one morning in a starchy white dress shirt. Mrs. Hubbard almost cried.”

Holy shit! What a calculating little bastard! “I’m not playing any games,” Jason said. “I didn’t go because I didn’t want to.”

They walked in silence for a block. Peter kept glancing over at him, as if trying to read his mind. Jason tried to clear his thoughts, just in case he could.

“You’re not staying, are you?”

“Probably not,” Jason said, mostly in the hopes that the subject would be dropped.

“Too bad,” Peter said, but his expression held a hint of satisfaction. “I’m surprised. I mean, I switched foster families too. There were a few I wouldn’t have wanted to be adopted by, and I made sure they didn’t want me. But the Hubbards… If a rich family doesn’t do it for you, then what are you looking for?”

“The impossible,” Jason said.

Peter rolled his eyes. “You should at least milk it while you’re here. You have a birthday coming up, right? Ask for something cool like a PlayStation. When you get booted out, there’s no way they can ask for it back.”

“I’ve always wanted a dog,” Jason admitted.

“A dog? They won’t let you take that back to the group home. No, you’re better off asking for electronics. Maybe a laptop. Some are good for gaming, you know?”

Jason felt more at ease with Peter talking video games and kept him on that subject until they parted ways. His day went pretty much as it had on Friday, right up to the moment between fifth and sixth period when a familiar face showed up at his locker.

“Again,” Caesar said. “What do you have against my car?”

“Peter wanted to walk with me,” Jason said. “Besides, it was wait around or be late.”

“I’m never late. That’s why I have a fast car. I just need extra time for all of this.” Caesar gestured at himself. “Such perfection doesn’t come naturally.”

But Jason had seen him with bedhead and knew that it did. “I
might
let you give me a ride home again.”

“Actually, a couple of us were thinking about knocking some colorful balls around after school.”

“Pool?” Jason guessed.

“Nah, we’re not that cool. Minigolf. Wanna tag along?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Just like the previous school day, Jason had a whole class period to be nervous, mostly because he didn’t know Caesar’s friends, but even if they were heading out solo, he still probably would have had the jitters. This time when he walked to the parking lot, not as many people had gathered yet. Steph was there, side-by-side with Caesar as they leaned against his car. The guy with the shaved head was also present. Jason got a proper introduction. His name was Kurt, and the handshake he offered was painfully firm. Jason noticed his solid build, which along with the skinhead vibe, made him intimidating. They were soon joined by two other girls who couldn’t stop giggling. They all piled into two separate cars, the giggling girls and Kurt in one, Jason and Steph riding along with Caesar.

Steph sat up front, of course, allowing Jason to observe them as they talked. Occasionally she turned to include him in the conversation, but Jason mostly just wore a blank expression like he couldn’t hear over the music. What he noticed most from his backseat hideaway was how often Steph smiled in Caesar’s direction, how her eyes traveled up and down his features as he spoke, only rarely dropping to his arms or his chest. She loved him. Jason was sure of that. She was attractive too, with pink lips that framed straight white teeth, a pert little nose, and warm brown eyes that shone with confidence. For a brief moment, he wished he could be her, wished more than anything that he was pretty and perfect and capable of leaning over to peck Caesar on the cheek in return for whatever compliment he’d just paid her.

When they reached the miniature golf course, Caesar paid for six clubs and declared that everyone should pair up. The giggling girls stuck together, and Steph took hold of Caesar’s arm, leaving Jason with Kurt. He wasn’t exactly thrilled by this, but he kept his expression neutral. On the course, Caesar and Steph went first, walking ahead to the next hole when finished. Jason kept his eyes on them as he played. He wasn’t alone. Kurt seemed just as interested.

“You know about them, right?” he asked, jerking his head in their direction. “I bet Caesar’s bragged to you already.”

“You mean how they’re together?” Jason putted his ball, groaning when it skirted the rim of the hole and rolled farther away.

“
Together
,” Kurt said as if it were ridiculous. “He broke up with her ages ago, and somehow he gets to keep her. The bastard has everything.”

Jason glanced over at Caesar, who was smiling broadly while pretending to club a ceramic dwarf over the head. “Yeah, he certainly does.”

Kurt swung hard, the ball ricocheting back and forth. “Leave some for the rest of us.”

“What about them?” Jason asked, referencing the two girls bringing up the rear.

“Been there, done that,” Kurt said. “The twins come as a two-pack, and I don’t mean that in a hot way. They’re always together at school and on the weekends. They even tag along on each other’s dates. If you can’t get one of them alone, what’s the point, right?”

“Right.”

They played three more holes, Kurt aggressively slamming around his ball before giving up and writing a low number on the score card. Jason stuck with it until he’d mastered each new twist, ignoring Kurt’s huffs of impatience.

“Time to switch partners!” Caesar declared.

Jason perked up at this, but Steph seemed disappointed.

“But we’re a team!”

“What’s the matter?” Caesar asked. “I thought you liked switching holes.” The joke didn’t really make sense, but it got laughs anyway. “Kurt, you go with Angela. Steph, you go with Angie. Jason, you’re with me.”

Everyone but Jason groaned as they swapped places. The hole they were on now included a small stone castle. When the ball went through the drawbridge, it continued to travel through a tube to a lower level. Jason didn’t talk much until they hopped down there together, giving them more privacy.

“You guys do this a lot?” he asked.

“Minigolf?” Caesar shook his head. “Nope. I figured it was a good way for you to meet everyone.”

Jason felt flattered that this was all for his benefit, but couldn’t help asking, “Then why am I with you right now?”

Caesar concentrated on his shot. “To make sure you’re doing okay.”

“I’m fine. You’re the one who scares easily.” Referring to last night felt good. He wanted it to be a topic, even though he wasn’t sure what more he’d say.

“Hey now!” Caesar glanced toward the others. “Don’t sully my reputation.”

“I’m good at keeping secrets,” Jason said, feeling brave. He wondered if he was being obvious. If so, it went over Caesar’s head or else he’d probably be freaking out.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Yes! Three strokes!”

While Caesar was distracted with writing down his score, Jason kicked his ball into the hole so they could walk to the next course.

“Windmill,” he said. “Total classic.”

“Yeah.” Caesar gestured that he should go first. “So, you want me to hook you up with one of the girls? Not Steph, obviously, but one of the others?”

Jason’s stomach felt tight. He was glad to have the ball to focus on. “They aren’t really my type.”

“How about Kurt?”

Jason swung, missing the ball completely. He focused on repositioning himself and chose his answer carefully. “I don’t think I’m his type.”

Caesar laughed. “No, definitely not. You ever been in love before?”

“No,” Jason said without hesitation. He was pretty sure love was a two-way street, and that unless the circuit was completed, it didn’t really count. “Have you?”

“Move over,” Caesar said, setting his ball down on the starting point.

Jason was surprised to see his own ball farther down the green. He didn’t remember hitting it. He stood aside, waiting for the answer to his question, but it never came.

“If someone catches your eye,” Caesar said, his ball disappearing between the windmill’s blades, “you just let me know. I’m sure you can handle yourself, but I’d want to know.” Caesar looked up at him. “No matter who they are, I’d want you to tell me.”

Jason tried to swallow but couldn’t. He opened his dry mouth, searching for the right words. He almost had them when Kurt’s voice called out.

“Switch partners! Steph, you’re with me. The rest of you, figure it out!”

Caesar shrugged easily. “My own ploy used against me. You take Angela. She’s slightly less annoying than Angie.”

Jason wanted to demand they continue their conversation—wanted to tell Kurt to go fuck himself—but instead he said, “They aren’t really twins, are they?”

“No, but don’t tell them that.”

Jason was stuck with his new partner the rest of the game. The two girls continued to look at and communicate with each other, even over a distance, so he was mostly left alone. Afterwards they returned to the parking lot. Kurt left with the twins. Jason was in the back seat again and remained there even after they’d dropped off Steph. The moment had passed. Sure, he could still open his big mouth and tell Caesar the truth, but given time to think about it, he knew it was a bad idea. Some moments with Shawn had been like this, odd snippets of conversation or accidental touches that Jason had interpreted as evidence of their mutual attraction. Reality had proven much less romantic.