“Time to go,” Kelly said.
William glanced up. “I’m staying at my place tonight. I’m tired.”
“You can be tired here,” Kelly said.
“I want to be in my own bed.” William said. “Besides, my mom misses me.”
“Fine.”
Kelly seethed quietly as he got out of the car. William also got out and walked him to the door. Jason watched as they stood on the front porch and talked. Or argued, since their body language appeared a little too animated.
“I can see why you like him,” Tim said from the back seat. “Seems like a good guy.”
“Yeah,” Jason said, eyes still on the house. “I think I’ve pretty much blown it though.”
When William returned to the car, his cheeks were red and his features tense. He seemed distracted when giving Jason directions to a much more humble neighborhood, Jason having to brake sharply a couple of times to avoid missing his turn. The street William lived on wasn’t well lit, but the small house they pulled up to looked nice, from what Jason could see without a porch light on.
“Thanks for the ride,” William said, before turning around to face the back seat. “And thanks for dinner. You didn’t have to pay for us all.”
“It was my pleasure,” Tim said.
William nodded, turned to face Jason, and then wordlessly got out of the car. Jason watched him walk halfway across his lawn before he opened the car door and gave chase.
“Wait,” he called, but didn’t need to because William had already turned around. The neighborhood was quiet, except for the gentle chirping of insects. In the dark, William was much more intimidating. Without the gentle eyes or friendly face visible, he was just an outline of a large, muscular body. Jason came as close as he dared, hoping to see through the shadows. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“I don’t like liars,” William replied.
“It’s a nasty habit,” Jason said, trying to make it sound humorous, but he knew it wasn’t. “When I was growing up, I had to do certain things to get what I wanted. Or to get away from places I didn’t want to be. I didn’t lie exactly, not always, but I went to extremes to get my way.”
“Were you abused?” William asked, sounding concerned.
“No,” Jason said. “I lost my parents, so I was in and out of foster homes my whole life. That’s not an excuse. I don’t know what I’m trying to say, except that I know I’m messed up, and I’m sorry if I made things tense between you and Kelly.”
“There’s a reason I’m with him,” William said.
“I know. I’m sure there are plenty of reasons, and anyone with eyes could—”
“Just one reason,” William said, voice hard. “And I’m not sure it’s a good one.”
Jason hesitated, feeling lost. “What do you mean?”
William’s silhouette shook its head. “I don’t want to talk about him. Remember what you said to me at the pool? How you felt when you first saw me?”
“Yeah.”
“Was that a lie?”
“No!” Jason said. “I swear it wasn’t. I only lied about not being able to swim. And about having a boyfriend.”
“That’s two strikes,” William said.
“Do I get a third?” Jason asked, not daring to feel hopeful. “I mean, I don’t want another strike, but if I’m not out yet…”
“You’re not,” William said. “I felt it too. When we first met. But I don’t know what it means. Maybe we’re meant to be friends. Maybe, if things were different, we could have been more. Either way, I don’t have room for a liar in my life.”
The breath caught in Jason’s throat, leaving him unable to respond.
“I’ll see you at the pool,” William said. “Monday morning.”
“Monday,” Jason managed. “I’ll be there.”
A breeze blew across the lawn, wind cutting between them and breaking the spell. William’s dark form turned and walked the rest of the way to the house. Jason peered at the dark porch, saw William illuminated briefly as light shone out from the interior. With his back to the door as he pushed his way inside, William was looking at the exact spot where Jason stood. Then he was gone. Taking a deep breath, Jason returned to the car and got inside.
“How’d it go?” Tim asked.
Jason considered everything, weighing it carefully. “I honestly have no idea.”
* * * * *
When they returned home, they found Emma and Ben in the backyard. Ben rose and went inside to have a word with Tim. Emma stayed where she was, lying on her back in the grass and staring up at the stars. The peaceful scene was slightly marred by Samson stalking Chinchilla, the dog tearing across the yard every time the cat got close. After watching this spectacle for a moment, Jason joined Emma on the ground, each of them taking turns sighing as they considered the sky.
“I’m never going to lie again,” he said, letting the stars be witness to this most solemn of oaths.
“Speak for yourself,” Emma said. “Personally I’m thrilled with the results. I don’t think Bonnie would have given me a chance otherwise.”
“I’m glad it worked out for you,” Jason said.
“That it did.” Emma sighed again. “She kissed me. When she dropped me off here, she walked me to the door just like in all those after school specials, and then she kissed me.”
“Wow!” Jason said. “Congratulations. So I take it Ben didn’t open the door at the exact wrong moment?”
“Nope,” Emma said. “It was perfect. Absolute perfection.”
They lay in silence together, Emma no doubt replaying that kiss in her mind, Jason fantasizing about his evening having ended in a similar fashion.
“Was Ben angry about you showing up out of the blue?” he asked eventually.
“No. Just surprised. Of course, now that Tim is back, who knows what will happen. Ever notice how adults are cooler when on their own? Get them together and they start trying to out-responsible each other.”
They waited in increasing anticipation, tensing up when they heard the back door open and close again. Footsteps too soft to be Tim’s approached.
“Sit up,” Ben said. “Both of you.”
They did so, Ben taking a seat in the grass in front of them. He sat cross-legged with his back straight, looking like he meant business, which made his words so surprising.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I feel like I’ve failed you both.”
“What?” Emma cried. “Why would you say that? You’re awesome!”
“Thank you,” Ben said solemnly, “but instead of behaving like an adult, I’ve let matters get out of hand. I cherish the story of how Tim and I met, perhaps a little too much, and I’ve allowed that to cloud my judgment. Looking back now, I should have done things very differently. I shouldn’t have told the hospital that Tim’s parents had hired a nurse. Without proper care, something very serious could have happened.”
“Which is why you skipped school to take care of him,” Emma said.
Ben grimaced. “Yes, but I had no professional training, so I wouldn’t have known what to do in an emergency. What I’m trying to say is that I made a lot of stupid mistakes when I was younger, and they just happened to work out in the end. I got lucky. But Emma, running off to a different city with someone you barely know is extremely dangerous. And Jason, I shouldn’t have encouraged you to lie or go through with this ridiculous charade tonight.”
“Oh, totally,” Emma said sarcastically. “We both should have stayed at home feeling lonely. That’s way better than taking a few small risks.”
“Sometimes small risks lead to serious consequences,” Ben said. “Falling in love doesn’t require behaving foolishly. There are other ways to accomplish the same goal.”
“How?” Jason said, trying to remain respectful. “I’d like to know, because if I had played it safe before, I never would have fallen in love the first time. And tonight, even though it was a disaster, it got me somewhere. I know now that William feels something for me too. If I hadn’t gone to the mall to see what would happen or to the recital tonight, I wouldn’t have gotten closer to him.”
“But that didn’t require deception,” Ben said. “And Emma, you could have asked this girl to meet your parents first, take you on a date somewhere in Houston.”
“And you could have called Tim’s parents and got him a nurse,” Emma said. “But why didn’t you? Or have you forgotten already? What’s the one reason you did things the way you did?”
Ben’s eyes drifted to the horizon for a moment, then he snorted and partially covered his face with his palm. “Because of how I felt about him.” Ben dropped his hand. “I could have done things differently, and I knew that back then, but all I cared about was the way he made me feel. Ugh. You know what? I’m glad I’m not a parent, because I suck at this.”
“You don’t,” Jason said, trying not to laugh. “At least you’re honest with us.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good thing,” Ben said, shaking his head. “Jason, it’s better if you’re honest from now on. Lying can push people away from you instead of drawing them closer.”
“I’m learning that,” Jason said, nodding his agreement.
“Emma,” Ben continued, “this is the absolute final time I help you hide anything from your parents. I want you to be open and feel you can confide in me, but if you’re doing something I feel is dangerous, I’ll tell them because it’s better than seeing you get hurt.”
“Fair enough,” Emma said, “but you won’t tell them about tonight, right?”
“Right. But I think you should come out to them. You know they’ll accept you. They accepted Jace, didn’t they?”
Emma crossed her arms over her chest. “Having a lesbian daughter is different from having a gay brother.”
“They loved Jace,” Ben said. “And they love you. There is no difference. Just think about it, okay?”
“Fine.”
“Good.” Ben stood, brushing the grass off his butt. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go inside and give my boyfriend a lecture about being responsible.”
“No!” Emma said. “Uncle Tim was so cool! Please let him off the hook.”
“He tried his best,” Jason said. “The first thing he said when he saw Emma was that he was going to call you.”
“Exactly! We ganged up on him so he wouldn’t,” Emma chimed in. “Tim was outnumbered. You should have seen him when the others found out Jason was single. He sat there and lectured Kelly and William on how incredible Jason is and how it’s their loss.”
“Really?” Ben asked.
“Yeah,” Jason said. “If he hadn’t stood up for me, I’d probably be jumping off a bridge right about now.”
A hint of a smile crossed Ben’s lips. “Well, in that case, I’ll go inside and tell him what a good job he’s done.”
“And we all know what that’s code for,” Emma said. “You’ve got half an hour. After that we’re coming back inside, and I don’t want to hear squeaking bed springs.”
“Our bed doesn’t squeak,” Ben said, but he checked his watch anyway. Before he left, he had one more thing to say. “I didn’t win Tim or even Jace through risky behavior. All I really did was squeeze my way into their lives. Once there, I was lucky enough that they wanted me remain. The same will happen for you, because you’re both wonderful. Keep showing up in the lives of the people you love, and I have no doubt that they’ll want you to stay.”
“He’s so sweet,” Emma said when Ben had gone.
“Totally,” Jason agreed. “So, no more risky behavior? Just mature, carefully thought-out decisions from now on?”
They glanced at each other solemnly before they both started laughing.
Integrating himself into William’s life sounded like good advice. Jason just wished the process wasn’t so physically painful. He showed up at the pool on Monday, William behaving as if nothing unusual had happened over the weekend. They were back to square one. At first Jason felt somewhat relieved by this. He trained alongside William the first two days, then skipped the third since his muscles hurt so much. His body might have been spared the pain, but the absence caused his heart to ache, so Jason decided to always show up, even if he didn’t swim. On such days he would sit on the sidelines, admiring the graceful way William moved through water.
Every swimming session ended with them talking, sometimes in the hot tub or more often in the parking lot when they should be leaving. Jason always wanted to linger. Sometimes William didn’t seem to want to part either. As nice as their daily tryst was, frustration began building. Jason chose to talk about his past, letting William discover piece by piece where he came from and who he was. William, on the other hand, only talked about the future—his plan to become a rescue swimmer and where he hoped the Coast Guard would send him. Anywhere but Austin seemed to be his destination, which hurt because Jason wanted him to stay, wanted to
be
the reason William wouldn’t leave. That begged another question.
“What about Kelly?” Jason asked one day in the locker room. “What’s he think about your plans?”
“He knows,” William said, pulling on his shirt. “He’s known for years.”
That’s all he said about it. Kelly was a forbidden subject, at least when it came to their history together. William was never cold with Jason. He remained just as friendly as before, but often he would shake his head at a Kelly-related question or change the subject completely. As much fun as they were having every morning, Jason couldn’t help obsessing over the invisible barrier that stopped them from getting closer.
He did his best not to be the problem. Jason kept his promise to tell only the truth. This was especially challenging during the next gay youth group meeting. Jason was reluctant to go on his own, but William kept insisting he try it again. So he did. This time Keith lectured them on dealing with homophobia, insisting they would face such opposition the rest of their lives. Jason found the topic interesting and was happy when Bonnie approached him afterwards. Sure, she was mostly interested in talking about Emma, but he was grateful for her company. Talking to William when others were around—especially Kelly—seemed an awkward prospect.
Kelly didn’t seem to share this reservation. While William was busy elsewhere, he approached Jason outside the church. Two other guys accompanied him, their faces eager for the show to come. For a second Jason wondered if they planned on jumping him, despite Bonnie being there. Instead, Kelly chose to fight with his favorite weapon: his venomous tongue.