SOMEONE DIFFERENT (13 page)

I looked at her again; trying my best to look chilled. There was a freckle on the top of her ear, and I bent forward and kissed it. Her hair smelled clean, fresh; I kissed that as well. Then I said, ‘We don’t have to
– do it now I mean. If you’re not totally sure, it’s OK ... we can wait.’

Usually it was a line – and if they weren’t sure before they heard it, they always were after.

Anna put her head on one side. ‘You’ve said that before.’

I smiled. I should’ve expected that from her; that’s why she wasn’t like them.

‘How old were you?’

‘When?’

‘When you first, you know ... went with a girl?’

Jeez, what did she have to ask that for? If she’d
have asked how many, I could’ve been vague; said ‘some’, or ‘a few’, or ‘not that many’ – which were only sort of lies. But that one needed a number.

I hesitated. ‘About fourteen.’ It was the best I could do.

‘About?’

‘Yeah.’

‘You mean thirteen?’

‘Does it matter?’

She thought about it, then let it go. She’d probably done a lot of that since she’d met me. And thank God she had. Otherwise I wouldn’t be feeling the way I did, and it was a feeling I couldn’t risk losing. I found her hand and spread my fingers out between hers. ‘OK, I have said it before, but it was different; I didn’t mean it then.’

‘Why?’

‘What?’

‘Was it different?’

‘Because it wasn’t you.’ And I know that sounded more sickly than treacle, but that wasn’t a line.

Anna’s eyes started to shine, they stared right into mine, and the ‘
Wildfox’ printed across her top moved up and down as she breathed. I blinked; nobody had ever looked at me that way before, ever – especially anybody as beautiful as her. Her lips opened, and in a quiet voice she said, ‘No, it doesn’t matter. And I wouldn’t have waited, anyway.’

She kept her eyes on my face, then a little bit at a time, she undid the zip on her top.

God; I couldn’t have kept myself off her then if somebody’d been standing between us with a gun. She made me kind of shudder. I had to touch her, kiss her, feel her. She was so hot it burned, and by the time she stood up and led me over to the bed, I almost had to crawl there on my knees.

It weighed a ton, that crisp, white duvet, and the heat grew round us like a bonfire. She pushed my T-shirt up, and I ducked out of it as she took it over my head. Carefully, I pulled her top off over her arms, and kissed the place where I could feel her heart beat. But when I glanced down at her hand, it made me stop and take hold of it. It must’ve been proper important to her, like really special, for it to have made her feel like that.

‘You’re shaking,’ I said.

Anna smiled, then she put her other hand on my shoulder and nodded at it. ‘You are as well,’ she whispered.

And as I kissed her again, and felt her skin and mine come together, I did everything I could to make sure it stayed special.

20 – Anna

God.

I had no idea it would be like that.

You read about it, don’t you? People saying how their first time was a letdown: awkward, messy, disappointing – painful even?

But it wasn’t any of those things. It was wonderful. And when I lay there afterwards, it felt like I’d been wrapped up in candyfloss
; warm and fuzzy, sweet and light.

I mean I had been nervous to begin with – in a kind of excited nervous way – but when I told Jay I didn’t want to wait, it was the total truth; I wanted it to be then, and I wanted it to be with him.

Right time, right person? Was that why it’d been so amazing? Probably, because he so was the right person. He was really careful at first; asked me over and over again if I was alright, stopped when he thought he’d hurt me – which he hadn’t – but it just made me want him even more.

And quickly, it didn’t matter that he knew what he was doing and I didn’t, because we both just knew what felt right. And I loved it; I loved how I could touch him or kiss him, and it made his eyes close, or his breath catch in his throat, and how he had no control over it. I loved how he could make me wriggle, make my back arch. And I loved that whatever else happened, it would always have been him, on that day, in my bed.

Which is where we still were, with Jay’s head pressing against the top of my arm, and my fingers drifting rhythmically through his hair.

The hands on my watch though, had drifted somewhere else
; dangerously close to six o’clock. We both knew it, but neither of us mentioned it. I wondered about paying for a taxi to take him home – that would give us another twenty minutes together. But he might not let me, and if Grandad did come over, I couldn’t risk him seeing it.

Neither of us spoke, until at last, he looked up at me.

‘I know,’ I said.

He slipped out from beneath the duvet and began to get dressed. It was nice, watching him, until the black plastic tag around his ankle gave me a jolt. It didn’t belong there. I didn’t want to see it, and I hated the way it suddenly made him into someone different. Not just the boy I’d been lying there with – who I trusted, and cared for – but someone who’d also broken the law, and got arrested, and sentenced to that.

But only if I let it. I made myself remember that, as he pulled on his jeans and the tag disappeared again.

Once he was dressed, he turned away to tie up his trainers. I put on my own clothes, stood behind him, and wrapped my arms around his middle.

‘So,’ I said. ‘When can we do that again?’

He took hold of my wrist and checked the time as he turned to
face me. ‘Mmm, fifteen minutes ’til my bus, ten minutes to get to the bus-stop.’ He put on a thoughtful expression and pretended to count on his fingers. ‘I reckon we could fit in another couple of goes now, if ya want?’

He made out like he was going to lift up my top, and I slapped his arm and laughed. ‘Seriously!’ I said.

‘Well, whenever ya want to, darlin’. I don’t know where though ... except ... well, there is that big barn down there, an’ it has got all that hay in it, and ... man ....’ He fanned his face with his hand and blew out upwards, making the front of his hair quiver.

I shook my head, and kissed the cheeky grin on his lips.

‘Actually, though,’ he said when I stopped. ‘I have got to get straight off at four tomorrow; they’ve rearranged one of my appointments down at Youth Offendin’.’

‘Oh, alright.’

‘But did you know your dad said OK about the job? So I will see ya Saturday.’

‘Awesome! I’m so glad you’re going to be here then. I’m supposed to be riding Tia – I got away with it last week because it rained so heavily – but Mum’ll not let it go again. If she throws me off and breaks my neck, will you help carry me to the ambulance?’

‘Don’t be daft; you’ll be fine.’

He opened the door and I started to follow him.

‘Oh, here,’ I said, as I lifted his hoodie off my dressing table and passed it to him.

He smiled. ‘Ta.’

Downstairs, we had time for one, last, lingering kiss.

‘Saturday just seems sooo far away,’ I said.

‘I know. But it’ll get better; I’m gonna be around more now, aren’t I? Then once the tag’s off and everythin’, there won’t be as much stuff in our way.’

‘I’m still going to miss you though.’

‘I’ll miss you an’ all. But trust me, I’ll be back before you can check if any of the silver’s missin’.’

He winked as he reached for the door handle, and I clung to his other hand until the last possible second. Then I unlocked the gates and waved as he disappeared through them. Once I was sure they’d closed properly, I turned and bounded back upstairs. Just the sight of the tousled bed caused my heart to flutter. I curled up on it and nestled my face into the duvet. And as I breathed in the faint scent of Jay’s deodorant, I closed my eyes and smiled.

Until, that is, a scary thought zapped into my head. I sat up and searched around: under the duvet, on the carpet, on the bookshelf. He would have taken care of it, wouldn’t he?

I picked up my phone.

Where did u put that condom wrapper?

A few seconds later.

Dont worri its sorted x : -)

I lay back again and grinned; I knew he would’ve done, really.

God, when had I ever felt that happy, or that relaxed, or that secure before? I couldn’t remember. And within a few more minutes, another unfamiliar feeling stirred in me as well – I was absolutely bloody starving.

***

Bizarrely, the answers to the questions in science the following morning just dropped on to the page. It was amazing. One day it was like I’d had to study whilst wearing frosted swimming goggles, and the next, someone kindly took them off and suddenly everything was crystal clear and made perfect sense.

I flew through the questions and almost moved on to the next page, but I decided to give myself a break instead; I didn’t want anyone dying of shock, did I?

After a minute, Lizzie peered out over her ‘Science for Success: Higher Plus Edition’ textbook. ‘Are you humming?’ she said.

I shut up immediately.

‘He must really be something, this boyfriend of yours; I can’t wait to see him tomorrow night.’

‘Oh, he can’t come,’ I said.

‘Awe, really? Why not?’

‘He can’t make it

Sophie spoke without taking her eyes off her book. ‘Oh, you must be so disappointed that he’s let you down.’

‘He hasn’t let me down; he just has other plans.’

‘Plans with, or without you?’

God, what a cow! ‘Without, actually.’

‘What, and you’re cool about that? It doesn’t worry you that he’d prefer to be with someone, sorry, I mean some
where
else ...’

I shook my head and wondered what would happen if I punched her. But I didn’t; even super-bitch couldn’t upset me today.

‘So you’ll still come?’ Lizzie asked then.

‘I err
–’

‘I assume you’ve completed the whole task correctly, Annabel Richardson, as otherwise, you wouldn’t have time to be holding a conversation?’

I changed my mind about not wanting anyone to die of shock. ‘Yes, Miss Welbourne,’ I said, and I lifted my exercise book up so high, it wiped that incredulous expression clean off her face.

21 – Jay

‘What’s up with thee?’ My dad followed me into the kitchen when I got in on Friday afternoon.

‘Nowt.’

‘Well what ya whistlin’ like a bloody old kettle for then?’

I ignored him and started looking through the cupboards for something to eat.

‘I want ya to come round to them old works on Weeden Street with me tomorrow. Harry Wilshaw says there’s some copper pipin’ knockin’ about; should fetch a fair few quid, that.’

‘Dad, I can’t tomorrow.’ I turned to face him. ‘Them people up at that riding school have give me a job – it means I’ll be workin’ weekends from now on.’

‘A job? You?’

‘Yeah, they think I’m OK with the horses.’

He snorted. ‘Well
, fuck me. They must want their bloody heads lookin’ at.’ His fingers reached up to rub the grey stubble on his chin. ‘They’ll soon have ya on your way though, once they cotton on what a thick, lazy bastard you are.’

I blinked, and tried the fridge instead.

‘So, when are ya gonna give me an hand with that pipin’ then?’

‘I don’t know, it’ll be dark when I get in for the next few nights. It might have to be after school on Tuesday.’

‘Tuesday? That’s no fuckin’ good; it’ll have all gone by then.’

I looked back round; was he getting proper pissed off? But instead of growing narrower, his eyes suddenly lit up.

‘If you’re gonna be earnin’ summat though, you can start payin’ board, can’t ya?’

I sighed quietly. ‘Well, I suppose so, yeah.’

The yellow teeth he showed as he grinned reminded me of Major. Then he walked out of the kitchen, and I heard the front door slam behind him.

Well, the green mouldy bits on the cheese went right through it, so the sandwich I’d planned was never going to happen. Martin had just refunded some of my bus fare money though, so I took my
two pound odd and went round to the shops.