SOMEONE DIFFERENT (15 page)

But he didn’t do anything. For a few seconds it was silent, then a dog barked
– well, yapped really – it must’ve only been little. Then a woman’s voice. ‘Oh my goodness! Ted, look ...’

The footsteps were fast and loud at first, but they soon faded. Something touched my shoulder; the woman maybe? Or Ted, or the dog? I don’t know. My eyes opened, but all I could see were blurry shapes in the darkness. Then my stomach retched. I threw up and the hot liquid spread around under my cheek and right up to my ear.

After that, I don’t think I felt or saw or heard anything else, and the pain gradually went away.

24 – Anna

7.08 – no answer

7.09, 7.13, 7.15, no answer. Five text messages, no answer.

Where was he? Why wasn’t he picking up his phone?

I tried watching TV – holding my phone tightly the whole time. I tried listening to music, I tried to read. I called his number every five minutes, then, as it got later, a little less often.

Maybe he’d lost his phone? That could be it. Or he’d left it on silent by mistake?

If only they had a landline ...

Eventually, I pushed myself up and gazed out of the French doors. The stars glowed like lanterns in the dark, wintery sky, and the frosted grass glistened in their light.

Was he still out there? With that girl?

Was he at home – with that girl?

Oh, come on, Jay, please; phone me back.

25 – Jay

I did come round for a bit in the night sometime. I still couldn’t see much. But I heard the people around me clearly. I concentrated, please let one of the voices be Anna, or Billy, or my mum ... or even my dad ...

But they weren’t. They sounded nice enough, sort of soft and kind, but they weren’t who I wanted them to be.

I was laid flat out, I could tell that much, and not on the hard tarmac anymore either. I tried to move my head, then my legs, then my arms, but it was useless. My fingers though, I’m sure they shifted a bit.

Somebody touched them. ‘Jayden, can you hear me?’

I nodded, well I think I did – I tried to anyway.

‘Can you speak to me?’

My throat felt like I’d swallowed a beach. There was no way anything was coming out of there.

‘Jayden?’

Why had I started to spin? I felt sick. Like you do when you’re proper pissed up.

Her voice sounded again, but it faded fast. ‘Jayden, sweetheart, can you still hear me ...’

26 – Anna

All night I clutched my phone. All night I tried to convince myself there would be a good reason for it. All night I longed to talk to him.

But there was nothing.

I did sleep, I think; for a few minutes at a time maybe, but very, very lightly, and by the following morning, I looked like I’d been Dracula’s main course.

The make-up masked the pale skin and dark eyes, but holding the smile in place as I went downstairs to face Mum and Dad, actually hurt. I kept my head down as much as I could through breakfast, but as I opened the door to leave the house, Dad came up behind me.

‘You off down to the yard already?’ he asked.

‘Mmm.’ The smile leapt into place automatically.

‘I’ll walk down with you, just let me grab my coat.’

I have no idea what he talked about as we wandered down the drive. His words were drowned out by the questions buzzing in my head like mosquitoes. What should I say to Jay? Should I ask him where he’d been? Should I ask him about the girl? Would he be sorry, or would he be defensive? Had I turned into a whingey, w
hiny, clingy, high maintenance girlfriend already?

The skin around my nails had healed recently. It was less red, less sore, less rough. But as Dad and I got nearer to the yard, I felt the sting of ripping skin and the warm run of blood.

We turned the corner to see Becky with a brush in one hand, a lead rope attached to a horse in the other, and the phone wedged between her cheek and her shoulder.

She held the lead rope out to me. ‘Could you pop Sherry in her stable for me please?’ she whispered.

I took hold of the horse but didn’t move. My eyes searched for him everywhere – and it wasn’t just me either, apparently.

‘This yard’s a mess.’ Dad glanced around as Becky hung up the phone. ‘Where’s that new lad?’

Becky smiled, then shrugged awkwardly. ‘He hasn’t arrived yet. I’m sure he won’t be long though – there must be a problem with the buses or something.’

Dad checked his watch. ‘Over an hour late already?’ He tutted. ‘We’ll have to deduct it from his wages, Becky. “Hard working and reliable” you told me. But you can’t be too careful with these kinds of kids; if he gets away with it once, that’ll be it. I knew ...’

The Mayoress and her toddler daughter appeared on the yard then, and Dad, never one to miss a networking opportunity, left us.

Becky spoke quietly. ‘I’m getting really worried; this isn’t like Jay at all. The only contact number we’ve got for him is his dad’s. But I’ve phoned it three times and there’s no answer.’ She raised her eyebrows slightly. ‘If only we had Jay’s own number, then we’d be able to contact him directly.’

I hesitated. I’d
have loved to have had someone else who knew, someone else to talk to. But could I trust her? Would she tell them?

The lack of sleep and anxiety almost got the better of me, but in the end I just daren’t. ‘I’ll go and put Sherry in her stable,’ I said.

I tried him again, and then again and again throughout the morning. But it just rang through to voicemail. I’d already left four messages the night before, so I knew there was no point leaving any more. What if he didn’t arrive at all? What if he’d decided he didn’t want to work here ever again? And what if, after what we’d done the other night, he’d decided to move on to someone new?

I went into the deserted barn, sat on a bale of hay and wrapped my arms around my knees. How could I have got it so wrong? How could I have misread it so badly? I thought, despite everything about him that sort of worried me, we had something stronger. I thought it didn’t matter; that he lived in that house, missed school, got into trouble with the police – I thought that was just stuff that happened to some people; it wasn’t about him, not really.

And surely it couldn’t have been so amazing the other night if it hadn’t have meant something – to both of us?

Or was that just me being stupid?

Was that exactly what Jay did; made people think he cared, made people think they were special, just to get what he wanted? And if it was, there’s no wonder he was so damn good at it; he’d had three whole years to practice.

I was just the latest, wasn’t I, in a long line of girls who’d thought it meant something? Or, actually, not even the latest – that title had probably gone to the girl with the smudged lipstick.

Oh, God; everything hurt. The trust I’d had for him, the feelings – it was like it was all being taken away, like it was fading, and I couldn’t grab it back; I couldn’t control it. Because I was here, scared about what was happening, waiting for my phone to ring, dying for us to speak to each other – and he, obviously wasn’t.

I covered my eyes with my hands, but before the first tear had even dripped off my chin, Mum’s voice called out loudly, and I had no option but to leave the safety of the barn and pretend to be excited about riding Tia.

Becky and one of the other girls held Tia’s bridle, and I eventually got on without her managing to bite or kick me. I don’t think I would’ve been able to do it normally, but the fear I felt about Jay far outweighed my fear of that horse.

Within about thirty seconds of me getting on though, a pheasant flew out of a nearby hedge and Tia went wild. As I hit the wet ground and swallowed a mouthful of wood-chip, I remembered what I’d said to Jay about carrying me to the ambulance, and I decided it would’ve been worth it; having him there would have been worth anything.

Mum shook her head, sucked in her cheeks and went as red as a poppy as I brushed myself down and hobbled back across the ménage. She wanted me to get straight back on, but thankfully, Becky managed to convince her it would be better to try again later when Tia had settled down a little. So instead, Mum and I walked silently back to house so I could change out of my damp, muddy clothes.

It was lunchtime when Mum shouted me down from my room, and if I’d have heard the voices in the lounge before I opened the door, I’d have shot straight back up again. Because sitting there, on the sofa, talking cheerily away to Mum, were Gillian and Rory.

Oh, my, God. Please, not now; not when I was so cut-up about Jay. I couldn’t handle it.

‘Isn’t this a lovely surprise?’ Mum said. ‘Just what you need to cheer you up.’

I lingered in the doorway, trying hard to smile.

‘Come on, Annabel, sit down.’ Mum shuffled over a little to make a space for me next to her. ‘You will never believe why Gillian and Rory have come over.’

I sat down and pushed my hair back behind my ear. ‘Err, why?’ I said, looking at Mum and not them.

‘You tell her.’ Mum nodded at Gillian, and Gillian beamed like a twelve-year-old cheerleader.

‘You know how we’re off skiing at Easter?’ she squealed. ‘Well, William’s won another award – which is wonderful of course. I always knew he’d be in the running for it, because it’s the one they give for outstanding achievement in each field, and no one could possibly have done more. And, as well as the cash, he gets an amazing trip to New Zealand, all expenses paid
–’

She stopped, as Rory sighed like a tired old horse and glared at her.

‘Oh, yes, sorry,’ Gillian smiled. ‘Unfortunately though, it means he can’t now make the skiing holiday.’ She shrugged excitedly as she glanced at Rory. ‘So my other son here, has had the brilliant idea of inviting you along instead.’

I stared at her. Then Rory. He grinned and nodded like he’d presented me with the most precious, sparkling diamond in the world, and I should be falling at his feet in gratitude.

My mind raced faster than my heart. ‘That really is very kind of you,’ I managed. ‘But I think perhaps I should really spend that time with Tia.’

‘Oh, Annabel.’ Mum shook her head. ‘I know how you love your horses, and how you never want to leave them, but I assure you, you will absolutely adore Zermatt.’

‘But, Mum, you’re the one who’s always saying how important it is that Tia and I bond properly, and especially after this morning ...’

She tutted. ‘Of course I want you and Tia to form a relationship, but one week isn’t going to make a huge difference, and I’m sure you’ll be much more confident with her by then, anyway.’

I wiped my clammy hands against my jeans. ‘But then there’s school as well. We have modular exams coming up in May –’

‘Really, darling.’ Mum’s growing irritation showed in her voice. ‘Everyone’s entitled to a break. And you’ve been working so hard recently; a holiday will do you good.’ She glared at me with wide, intense eyes. ‘I’m sure you’d be delighted to accept Gillian’s generous offer, wouldn’t you?’

I looked at Rory again and he winked. Goosebumps shot up my arms and back. What could I say? I couldn’t refuse without giving them a good reason – and I didn’t have a good reason, did I? Well, not one I could go telling them about.

I took one last glance at Mum as she nodded and raised her eyebrows. ‘Thank you ... that’ll be ... lovely,’ I said, and I tried to keep my long sigh as quiet as possible.

Gillian clapped. ‘Oh, I’m so pleased it’s all settled. You two youngsters will have such a fabulous time together, just like you always have. Do you remember, Laura, how they used to run around on the beach together without a stitch on when they were toddlers?’

They giggled louder than the girls at school ever had.

I blinked, struggling to swallow the sour liquid that had somehow forced its way up into my throat.