Some Loves (19 page)

“So tell me more,” I ordered.

“
The house just came on the market a few weeks ago. I looked at it right away. I’ve been worried someone else would put in an offer. So far, so good. I met with the realtor again yesterday,” Noah explained. “She’s all ready to put in our offer. I just wanted to get your approval first.”

I looked around again. “It’s beautiful, Noah. I love it. But…?” It seemed crass to ask if we could afford it. I didn’t have to ask the question out loud. Noah guessed what I was asking.

“You know I got paid for my internship.” I nodded. “I also got a small inheritance from my grandma. I’ve been saving it for something special. This,” he said as he motioned to the cottage, “seemed pretty special to me. I think this is definitely something she would approve of. After that,” he said with a shrug, “I don’t think we’ll have any problem swinging the house payment. But really, I know you didn’t get a chance to look around at other houses. Maybe you want to see what else is out there?”

I wandered over to the wall of windows again. The view of the river was breathtaking. I would never tire of looking out at it.
The Willow River would always hold a special place in my heart. I turned back to Noah.

“Is there anything else out there with a view like this one?” I asked.

He laughed and shook his head. “No. I’m afraid not.”

“I bet your grandma would love this place.”

He nodded. “I’d like to think so. I miss her, but I like to think that wherever she is, she’s with my grandpa. Do you remember when you said that you believe some loves transcend time, that some loves are meant to last?”

I nodded. It had been right after Adelaide’s death.

“I think you’re right,” Noah said. “In fact, I know you’re right because that’s the kind of love I’ve found with you.”

Out now…

If you’d like to read a sample of
Forgetting Yesterday
, please keep reading.

The road blurred in front of me. For the past half hour or so, it hadn’t stopped blurring. After five hours of driving, it was no wonder. The sun was going to come up sooner rather than later and I had yet to sleep. I
couldn’t
sleep. Not until I reached Claire’s house.

I had never been to my friend’s new house. I’d never actually been to the city of Grafton. Thank God for the slip of paper Claire had handed me at my mom’s funeral. Thank God I’d had
the sense to tuck it in my purse and not toss it in the trash. Actually, that may not be accurate. I’d stuck it in my purse, in a side pocket, and forgotten about it.

Until a few weeks ago.

“If you ever need to get away,” Claire had said quietly as she wrapped me in a hug, “you can stay with me. Anytime.”

When Claire had released me, she’d placed a business card for
The Petal Pusher
in my hand. The front of the card boasted a bouquet of lilies wrapped in ribbon along with her full name—Claire Holloway. Her business phone was embossed on the front, right under her name.

While at my mom’s visitation the night before the funeral, I had spoken with Claire only briefly. It hadn’t been nearly enough time to catch up with an old friend.

On the back of the card, in the script I remembered from countless notes passed back and forth in high school—was Claire’s home address and a phone number that I assumed was her landline.

I had her cell phone number programmed into my phone. It had just been a disturbingly long time since I’d used it.

“I don’t…” I had shaken my head, pretending not to know what Claire was talking about. Pretending that Claire couldn’t have seen the way Jason grabbed a hold of my wrist, squeezing, holding me back when I’d intended to make my way across the crowded church to talk to my friend.

At the time, all those months ago, I had convinced myself he was just trying to protect me. I had been in such an emotionally fragile state. Now…
now
I saw it for what it was. He had been trying to control me. Not just trying. But he had succeeded. For over a year, he had succeeded.

But not anymore.

“No questions asked,” Claire had said softly. Her eyes had narrowed with worry and sorrow. She’d loved my mom too. She’d spent so much time with my family over the years; she was almost like family herself. “I miss you Zoey,” she’d said.

I realized right then that I’d been so entangled in my mom’s impending death that I’d let everyone else slip away. Including Claire, my best friend, and I realized how much I missed her.

I didn’t get a chance to tell her that.

I had blinked at her in surprise just as a strong arm slid around my waist, reeling me backward, against a hard, familiar chest.  Wrapped in the steel cage that was Jason’s arm, I’d given Claire a weak smile.

She deserved so much more.

Right then, I’d had nothing left to give.

“
Anytime
,” Claire had said again, not bothering to look at Jason. Then she’d turned and melted into the crowd.

I breathed my first sigh of relief when I saw the sign announcing I was entering Grafton. It had been an exhausting trip; driving from the southern part of the state to the northern in the dead of night. I was guided by my determination, an extra large gas station coffee, my GPS and a rumpled computer print off of a map complete with detailed directions (on the off chance the GPS didn’t cooperate).

Most of the drive had been on quiet county highways. I’d gone through countless towns, most of them small. Each time the lights had been oddly disorienting after driving in near pitch darkness on the mostly deserted roads. The bright streetlights that lined downtown Grafton were no different. My head was fuzzy and my eyes continued to blur.

“Almost there,” I encouraged myself.

The radio continued to blare; loud enough that I hoped it would keep me awake. So far, it had worked. Now that I was in Grafton, a jolt of nervous anticipation shot through me, making me feel more awake than I had in hours.

It probably wouldn’t last but for now, I welcomed it.

Claire had been my best friend for as long as I could remember. We’d lived in the same neighborhood, close enough that a quick bike ride would have us at each other’s front doors. We’d gone to school together kindergarten through our senior years. Then we’d gone our separate ways for college. Claire to the northern end of the state, me to the southern. While we’d had the best of intentions when it came to keeping in touch, we hadn’t.

A pang of regret coursed through me. I was mostly, almost completely, at fault for that. I wouldn’t deny it and only hoped that in time, I’d be able to make up for it.

When I’d lugged my aching, battered body into my car earlier tonight, the last thing I’d wanted to think about was the past two years. As the hours dragged on and the miles crawled by, I couldn’t
stop
thinking about the past two years.

I couldn’t stop assessing what I’d allowed my life to become. The things I’d allowed
to happen to me. Because while
he
had done this to me…I’d let him. Time and again, I hadn’t walked away. I hadn’t told anyone how bad things were getting. I hadn’t asked for help. And while tonight went far beyond what he’d done any other night, I still should not have put up with it for as long as I had.

Funny how a few hours away, a giant step back, allowed for a clearer picture.

“I wouldn’t have if I’d been myself the last few years,” I muttered. “If the circumstances had been different, if my head had been clearer, I wouldn’t have put up with him.”

I needed to believe that.

My mom’s death, her long, lingering illness had destroyed something within me. It had taken the fight right out of me. I’d wanted to crawl into a bubble, a safe haven, and at times, Jason seemed to provide that. It was only recently that I realized it had come with a price.

I continued to listen as the automated voice led me through town and back out the other side. It brought me to the outskirts and continued to blurt out directions. I found myself driving to a more rural area. I turned on a wide, dirt road.

A glance at my GPS told me I was only minutes away.

I let out a sigh of relief even as I cringed. I contemplated pulling over and sleeping on the side of the road. In my haste, I’d left without my cell phone. I’d felt oddly vulnerable the whole trip, being without it. But I’d arrived in one piece. The only problem now was that I’d be showing up at Claire’s only hours before sunrise without having warned her at all.

The final turn had me pulling into a long, winding driveway. A thick circle of trees enclosed what looked like a good sized yard. The glare of my headlights sliced across a small, yellow house. It was a simple ranch-style home, built in the fifties. Claire had gotten a great deal on it with the intention of remodeling. Or so my friend had told me.

If anyone could remodel a house to bring it back to perfection, it would be Claire.

I was relieved to spot my friend’s silver minivan—a vehicle she needed for her business—in the driveway.

I wished again that I’d been able to call ahead.

I pulled up next to Claire’s vehicle and the unfamiliar one next to it, only taking the time to grab my small bag. My body ached and throbbed despite the amount of ibuprofen I’d taken over the last few hours. The night air was chilly, especially for this late in May. There was dampness in the air despite the clear, star-filled sky.

I pulled myself from the car and my leaden feet made their way up the walk. My heart thudded. I hadn’t even talked to Claire since the funeral. Since the day, nearly six months ago, that she’d handed me the small business card with a few whispered words to go along with it.

I wouldn’t blame her if she’d changed her mind. I was the worst excuse for a friend I realized, even as my finger lifted to push the glowing light of the doorbell.

From my place on the front steps, I could hear the chimes. I grimaced, hating to be waking anyone at such an hour. Maybe I
should’ve
just camped out in my car for a few hours, until the sun came up. Just as that thought was darting through my mind, the porch light above me blazed to life. The curtain on the sidelight was shoved to the edge of the frame.

Claire’s familiar face, though clearly pulled from sleep, became instantly alert. The door flew open.

“Zoey…” she said as her eyes swept over me. She looked like she wanted to throw her arms around me but thought better of it as she took in what I knew had to be a wretched sight.

“You said if I ever needed somewhere to go,” I started. “No questions asked,” I finished hesitantly.

Claire bit her lip, nodding as she stepped aside. “Get in here,” she finally said.

I took a painful step forward. My whole body ached. If I felt this bad, I knew the bruising had to be worse by now. At least there was no blood. I’d cleaned that off when I’d stopped for gas. I’d gotten a startled, questioning look from the teenaged guy behind the counter but he hadn’t bothered to ask questions. Luckily, that late at night, I’d been the only customer. I’d used the restroom, purchased the painkillers and a coffee, paid for my gas and then I’d
hightailed it out of town.

“What the hell?” I heard a masculine voice say. The sound of the voice confirmed my earlier suspicion. It was Sean’s truck parked in the driveway. I hadn’t thought of this complication ahead of time. It was too late to think about it now. “Zoey?” he said in disbelief. “What the hell happened to you?”

Claire waved him away. “Just go back to bed, okay Sean?”

I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I didn’t want to see the look of revulsion on his face. With my gaze averted, I could see his feet shuffling, as if unsure of what to do. I glanced at Claire who was giving him a pleading look.

“Okay,” he muttered. “Let me know if you need anything.”

She nodded and he left.

“Zoey…” Claire moaned again and this time I met her eyes. I was humiliated by the pity I saw there.

“You promised, no questions asked,” I reminded her in a strained voice. My body felt heavy. I was exhausted beyond words. My heart hurt and even though I thought my well of tears had been depleted, they felt dangerously close to spilling again.

Claire nodded thoughtfully. “I know I did. But I need to know one thing. Did you leave the asshole? For good?”

I nodded and Claire pulled me into a delicate, careful hug. “If you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to talk. Just tell me what you need.”

“Sleep,” I told her honestly as I hugged her back.

Relief, so palpable I could feel it, coursed through me. Why, I wondered
, had I waited so long?