Solo (15 page)

"Eliana, are you upset about something?"

"I don't think so, should I be?" I looked up at him with a cold stare. I figured that would give him his out.

"I hope not. I know I haven't been in study hall and I'm sorry about that."

"You think I'm upset about you not being in class?" I shook my head and looked down the road trying to hide my building anger.

"Are you upset about Sadie?"

I looked back to him, shocked that he would bring it up. "Of course not, what you do is your own business."

He smiled. "I'm not going to lie to you; it was a date, but it was planned before you even moved here."

"Lucas, you don't have to explain anything to me. We aren't dating. I don't need to know the details."

"I don't want you to get the wrong idea."

It's too late for that.
"It's not something that'll keep me up at night. Don't worry about it. I should be going." I put my foot on the pedal.

"Well, about prom." he said as I started down the road.

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned back around. "What about it?"

"It's obvious you're upset. Do you still plan on going with me?"

"I told you I would go. So unless you've changed your mind, I think I'm still going." I put my iPod back on and took off before he had a chance to respond.

My stomach was in such knots that I barely maintained a convincing smile throughout dinner.

"So Casey's party is tomorrow? Did you get her something," Mom asked.

"Not yet, I'm not sure what's available around here. I'm actually thinking about getting up early and driving to Eugene to buy her a mall gift card.

"That's such a long drive, do you want company?"

"Sure."

"Okay. It'll be fun."

Later that night I had the weirdest dream. Actually, it was more like a nightmare. I was running toward Lucas, but he kept moving away from me. I couldn't get close enough for him to hear me pleading for a second chance. The faster I ran, the more distant he became. Then I tripped. When I looked up, he had his arm draped around another girl. She turned around. It was Sasha. I woke in a sweat. I had a hard time going back to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw their faces. Eventually, I gave up and stared at the ceiling, waiting for six o'clock.

Finally, the clock buzzed and I rolled out of bed. I didn't put much effort into my appearance: comfy yoga pants, tank top, flip-flops, and baseball cap. It wasn't like I would run into anyone this early in Eugene.

I think my lack of sleep was obvious when I went downstairs. I didn't hesitate to say 'yes' when Mom asked if she could drive. I knew it would be safer for both of us if I wasn't behind the wheel.

"Maybe we can grab breakfast at the diner before we head out," Mom suggested as we backed out of the driveway.

"I'm not very hungry," I muttered, thinking about Lucas and Sadie at the same diner the day before.

"Well, we should eat something, maybe toast or cereal."

"Fine, I'll find something."

We picked out a table by the window so we could enjoy the beautiful sunlight.

"Honey, did you have a rough night? Your eyes are bloodshot."

"Yeah, I had a bad dream. I don't feel like talking about it, though. I'll take a little snooze in the car."

"I hope you don't feel as bad as you look right now."

"Thanks, Mom. I know I look awful this morning; hence, the baseball cap." I tugged the cap a little further down over my eyes.

"Sorry, honey, I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I was thinking you might be getting sick."

"Just a little homesick, that's all." I turned to stare out the window.

Our breakfast arrived just as the diner door opened. Mom looked up when the bell dinged. "Hey, aren't those your friends?"

"You've got to be kidding me," I whispered. I didn't look up; afraid of who I might see. I pulled my cap down a little more. "Mom, please don't make eye contact with anyone," I begged.

"Okay," she whispered back.

I took my fork and played with my eggs as the crowd passed by. Some of them were wearing baseball uniforms. I wished I'd paid attention to their schedule so I would have known about the game. I ate my toast, trying to keep my head turned so no one would notice me.

"Mom, could you please hurry?" I stared out the window. "I really want to get to Eugene."

She chuckled. "Honey, we just got our food."

I turned, pleading with her, "At least try to hurry."

"You don't look that bad. Your cap is covering most of your face. If anything, you're bringing more attention to yourself by trying to hide."

The group laughed and joked, but I couldn't tell who was at the table. I definitely didn't have the courage to glance over at them. I watched my mom's plate of food slowly disappear. I think she was purposely trying to torture me.

"Okay, we can go. Here are my keys; go to the car and I'll pay the check."

I quickly glanced at the group of so-called friends sitting at the table. It was Lucas' friends but he wasn't with them. Relieved, I walked out the door, turned swiftly and ran smack into Lucas, who was running. It felt like I'd hit a brick wall from the force of our impact. "Ouch!"

"Sorry, I didn't see you coming." He grabbed my shoulders to keep me from falling on my butt.

"That's okay, I wasn't paying attention." I stared at the ground and stepped back.

"Do you have a minute to talk?" he asked.

"I'm actually in a hurry. I'll talk to you later." I rushed past him toward Mom's car. I didn't want to get into a conversation knowing my mom would be coming out the door any second. I was hoping he'd show up later at Casey's. I wanted to clear things up. After my dream, I needed to know if he could handle just being friends. If not, we'd have to go our separate ways. I didn't want any more sleepless nights.

Mom got in the car. "Hey, Lucas just entered the diner. Did you want to go say hi before we leave?"

"I already talked to him." I braved a smile at Mom as she started the engine.

"Why don't you try to take a nap," she suggested. My eyes were so heavy; I didn't have the strength to disagree. I rolled up my hoodie for a pillow.

When I felt Mom shaking my shoulder, I couldn't believe I'd slept the entire drive to Valley River Center. Inside the mall, I ran to the customer service desk while she made a pit stop at the restroom. She met me back at the desk.

"Is there anywhere else you want to go?"

"Yeah, I need to get Casey a card." I scanned the mall and spotted Hallmark.

On the way home, I tried to stay awake by rambling about Casey's party and how school seemed to be getting easier. Mom asked about Sasha. I told her that since I'd decided to ignore her comments, she didn't seem to bother me as much. About halfway to the house, I drifted back to sleep. I woke when Mom turned off the car. "We're home."

"I'm up…I'm up." I rubbed my eyes trying to focus before stumbling from the car.

In my room, I plopped on my bed, debating whether I should get ready or take a short nap. I decided to get ready and go to Casey's. I was the first to arrive. "Hey, Casey, what can I do to help?"

"Well, I've got it all done. I'm just finishing the lemonade."

Every now and then I glanced out the window, secretly watching for Lucas. I wanted to patch things up. I liked talking to him. I knew he would be a good friend if he could handle being
just
friends. I wasn't going to give in to the other feelings inside me. It just couldn't happen.

"I can't believe it's turned out to be such a beautiful day."

"Um, yeah, you're really lucky. I think there's a chance of rain in the forecast for the rest of the weekend."

"Hopefully it will hold off until the party's over."

We both turned to see who was coming down the driveway. It was Evan's red truck followed by Jack's black SUV. Both vehicles were loaded with people.

I tried to hide my disappointment. "It looks like the party's begun."

Casey seemed thrilled, but a little nervous.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Well, I didn't tell the group that I invited Lucas. I figured there was no reason to start an argument, just in case he didn't show up. You're the only one who knows." She bit her lower lip.

"Don't worry, it's your birthday. No one will argue with you today. Besides, I'll be thrilled if he shows up."

Casey smiled.

Sasha jumped out of Evan's truck. "Happy Birthday, Casey!" Her smile was as artificial as her highlights. She glared at me. "Oh, look, the strays have come out to play."

For Casey's sake, I acted as if I hadn't heard her offensive remark. I swore I wouldn't let her get the best of me today. I knew how important this get-together was for Casey.

"Casey, everything looks great." Emily changed the subject. "So, do you feel older?"

"No, seventeen feels the same as sixteen."

"You're lucky the weather cooperated. Remember last year, we still had snow on the ground." Emily grimaced.

"Oh, yeah; that's right," Sasha chimed in.

I listened to the conversation as if I knew what they were talking about. In the back of my mind, I kept hoping to see Lucas. My hope dwindled as each minute turned into an hour, then two hours.

All of the sudden, Jack pointed. "Who's that?"

Casey looked at me. "Oh, that's right, I invited Lucas."

Cold stares shot at her from every angle. The mood changed quickly as Lucas hopped out of his truck with flowers in hand. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

He walked right up to Casey. "Happy Birthday, Sweetheart." He leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"Thanks, Lucas. I'm happy you made it." She looked at me.

I hoped my excitement wasn't obvious. My heart was running a marathon. I looked at my plate, trying to appear as if I didn't care one way or another that he showed up.

Lucas grabbed a soda out of the cooler and sat next to Casey.

Casey tried to ease the tension. "Do you all remember playing hide and seek in the trees when we were kids." She stared at the rows of Christmas trees, laughing.

"Yeah, remember when Jack got lost and we couldn't find him for over an hour," Emily added.

"That sounds like fun," I laughed.

Casey smiled, "Come on guys, you want to play?"

I could tell everyone thought it would be fun, but no one wanted to admit it. I figured that since I was the outcast anyway, I'd second the notion. "I'll play. I've never played in Christmas trees before."

One after another, everyone agreed. Being the snob that she was, Sasha hesitated before giving in. "Well, I'm not going to sit on the porch by myself."

"GREAT!" Casey exclaimed. "Since I came up with the idea, I'll count to fifty first."

"No, this is your party. I'll count first," Jack said with a smile. "Better get going. I'm counting—one-two-three-four-five..."

We all ran toward the trees, laughing. When I figured I was far enough in, I crouched and positioned myself so I couldn't be seen by Jack when he stared down the rows of trees. He counted, "forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty—ready or not, here I come."

I looked around wondering where Lucas might be hiding. I couldn't wait to talk to him when hide-n-seek was over. A tree rustled behind me and I turned to see who it was. A hand grabbed me, pulling me up. To my surprise, it was Evan. Before I had a chance to say anything, he went for a kiss. I felt his lips smash against mine and jerked away from him. Lucas was standing to my right with no expression. To top it off, Sasha was a few feet away from him.

What just happened?

Lucas turned and walked away. Sasha stomped over to me. "You're such a whore! Why don't you crawl back to where you came from?" She shoved me so hard I fell to the ground. Then she turned and slapped Evan before running toward the house.

Still baffled, I looked up at Evan. He had a mischievous smirk. I started to see red. Never in my life had I been so angry. Before I knew what I was doing, I was on my feet and kneeing him between the legs so hard his face turned three shades of green. He dropped to the ground. I turned and ran.

"You're it," Jack laughed and grabbed my arm. When he saw the fury in my eyes, he instantly pulled back.

"I'm done! I'm over this place!" I snapped.

"Eliana, what…?" Jack was at a loss for words. He obviously hadn't talked to anyone else.

I wasn't sure where I'd go when I got out of these stupid trees, but I knew I had to get away. I didn't want to go to my grandparents' house. If I did, I would start packing and I didn't think Mom would be able to talk me out of it. The only other place I could go to be alone and free of drama was my serene meadow. It was the one place that would calm my nerves.

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