SOLID GROUND: GODS OF CHAOS MC (BOOK TWO) (13 page)

I pushed him, provoking him to try to hit me again, which worked.  He was so predictable.  His right fist shot out, and I ducked under it this time, hooking him just under the chin, sending him flying backwards and landing with a thump on the ground, knocking him dizzy.

I heard a startled gasp behind me, and turned just in time to see Lacey’s wide eyes filled with fear and confusion, before she ran away from the group.  

“Fuck!” I pushed through the crowd and followed Lacey as she ran into the clubhouse and down the hallway that led to her bedroom.  A loud bang rang through the clubhouse as she slammed the door.  I stopped short, taking a deep breath and knocking lightly on the door.

The crowd outside had streamed in after us, and I felt the curious gaze of a dozen pairs of eyes drilling into my back.

“Lacey, open up.” I whispered. “Please?”

I listened at the door, my mind racing, trying to assess the situation as fast as I could.  Why was she so upset?  I knocked again.

“Lacey, come on…”

Slowly the door opened, and her face peeked through the crack, streaked with tears.

“Can I come in? Please?”

She nodded, and opened the door, letting me through.  I turned to close it behind me, and saw all those eyes still watching.  

“Go away, you nosey fucks!”  I seethed, before slamming the door.

I turned to see Lacey staring at me.  She looked almost afraid, and it killed me to see the tears on her face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“What do you mean, what’s wrong?  You were
fighting
.  With Slade.  Why would you hurt him like that?”  

“What?  Lacey, he likes it…I mean, it’s just something we do…when we want…oh, fuck, look it doesn’t mean anything at all.”

“I just don’t understand how you could pummel your friend like that…” her voice trailed off and she turned away from me defensively, breaking my heart when I realized she was afraid of me.

“Lacey, listen, babe.  Slade and I go way back.  He’s my best friend.  We fight each other all the time.  We do it for fun, not because we are trying to hurt each other.”

“That makes no sense to me.”

“I can see how it wouldn’t.  People out of the life don’t understand.  Slade and I use it as an outlet for frustration…it’s not real.  The other Gods think it’s entertaining.  It looks a lot worse than it is.  I would never hurt him seriously, and he wouldn’t hurt me either.”

“Well, whatever.  I don’t know, it just bothers me…” her voice trailed off, and she avoided my eyes.

“Lacey,” I said.  “Please look at me.”

She wouldn’t.

“Lacey, why does it bother you?”

Her voice shook as she turned towards me.

“Look, the only violence I’ve seen was always directed towards me, and it sure as hell wasn’t out of love or fun.”

“I’m so sorry that happened to you, sweetheart,”  I said, closing the distance between us, not sure if she would let me close to her, but thanking the heavens that she didn’t shrink away when I did.

I reached up to push a strand of hair from her face, and the sight of my bloody knuckles stopped me cold.  I smiled at her, shrugging.  

“I don’t want to get blood on you,”  I said, pulling away.  I sat on her bed and she sat next to me.  “I’m sorry I upset you, babe.  I had no idea that would happen, but I should have thought it through a little better.”

She looked away, silently accusing me of who-knows-what?  Of being a monster?  She had no idea how right she was, if that was what she was thinking.  But not anymore.

“I want to tell you a story.  You saw my bag, I told you I was a fighter before, and when you asked why I stopped, I changed the subject.”  I took a deep breath, the memories flooding back like a burst dam.  “ I don’t like to talk about it…but…well, fuck, there’s no other way to say it - I - I killed a guy.  In my first fight.”

She turned to look at me, but this time, I turned away.  I couldn’t meet her eyes.  Not while I was right there, back in the ring.

“I don’t know how it happened, the odds of that shit actually going down on someone’s first real fight are astronomical, but it happened.  To me”

“What happened afterwards?”  she asked quietly.

“Nothing.  After that, I couldn’t fight anymore.”

“That’s awful, I’m so sorry, Riot,” she said, her voice soft and tender.

“I loved fighting.”  I continued, the words flowing easier now. “It was in my bones. Once I realized I could do it, it was all I ever thought about.  I had bet my whole future on these hands, on my dream.”  I put my hands out in front of me, looking at them.  My weapons.   “And I got burned.  I did it too well.  Or, I did it all wrong.  However you want to look at. Either way, I’m a fucking murderer.”

Finally, I turned to face her, the tenderness in her eyes a sweet salve on the wound I had just reopened.

“That’s why it’s safe with me and Slade.  He’s the only person I fight, unless I have to defend myself, which is rare these days.  Most people are smart enough not to fuck with a God.  Having this patch, having the brotherhood, that keeps me from having to fight.”

“So, I’m sorry I scared you, but I want you to know I would never hurt someone willingly.”

“It’s okay,” she said, a tentative smile lingering on her lips.  “I guess I’m just not much of a fighter.”

I peered into her eyes and shook my head, once again, completely dumbfounded at the beauty I found there.

“Seems to me, that’s exactly what you are.  You’ve been through so much, Lacey.  Unthinkable things.  Things that most people wouldn’t have survived.  But you did.”  I reached up again, cupping her chin and brushing my lips with hers gently, before I continued.  “You fought.  You won, baby.  You won by living through all the shit, you struggled through it, and you did it all on your own, with help from not one single person.  You’re a warrior, Lacey.  Don’t you dare forget that."

I kissed her again, stood up and pulled her into my arms.

“You’re the most badass fighter I’ve ever known, Lacey Hope Carrington,” I said, looking into those green depths.

She laid her head on my chest, and wrapped her arms around me. Once again, despite my willing it to go away, my cock twitched and hardened in my jeans. 

I should be able to control myself more.  I was pissed that I couldn’t, that my fucking body had more control than I did.  I wanted to be a good man for her, not just another asshole in the line of assholes that had treated her badly.

I needed to do the right thing.

And as soon as she turned her stunning eyes up to me again, the tears drying on her cheeks, the desire burned right through me, and I couldn’t stop myself.

I caught her lips in mine, and the passion came rushing in, my mouth possessing hers, my tongue parting her lips and darting inside, twirling with hers searchingly, the longing for closeness so strong, so necessary, so intense that I began to press into her until my cock throbbed and rubbed against her wantonly.

She gasped in surprise, and reality came crashing back down, knocking me out of my lusty haze and reminding me that I was doing everything I had vowed not to.  Again.

“Shit.” I muttered, pulling away from her.  “Lacey, I’m so sorry.  I’m a shit.”

“No, I…” Her lips were red and swollen, and I shook my head, the feelings so fucking overwhelming I was beginning to lose any faith I had in doing the right thing.

I turned away, opened the door, and walked out into the hall, closing the door behind me, leaving her all alone.  I swallowed hard, and thundered down the hallway, out the front door past all the gawking Gods, and into the dark sanctuary of the night.

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

The door closed and the tears fell down my cheeks.  Riot was hot and cold, and I didn’t know what the hell to think.  He had kissed me again like he did the first time, and then he just left me alone.  

I was so confused, so full of uncertainty, so fucking lost that I couldn’t see straight.  

You killed Monty
, the voice returned.

“Fuck you!”  I replied out loud. “Monty fucking deserved it, goddammit!”

Riot’s words rang in my head…’you’re a fighter’…he had said.  Was he right?  Or was I just a submissive victim?  Why hadn’t I managed to kill Monty sooner?  Or at least left?  The beatings did their job, I guess, because until I had been arrested, until I had that card and Grace’s number in my bra, I had never even assigned escaping as an actual possibility.

Something in me had snapped.

I wasn’t that woman anymore.  

Sure, it had been such an incredibly short time, merely  days, and I could still feel the pain of the bruises Monty had left me covered in, I could still see his dead, empty eyes staring at me every time I closed my own, but I was so fucking ready to move on, to start a new life, to get as far away from my past as I possibly could, and as fast as possible, too.

I needed that.

I needed to feel and experience all the things that I had missed.  And right now, tonight, that meant Riot.  Riot’s passion.  Riot’s lust.  Riot’s caress.  His gentleness and his intense masculine strength all at the same time.  I wanted everything he could give me.

And I wanted it right now.

I threw open the door, running down the hallway after him.  As I reached the living room, Cherry’s eyes locked onto mine, and she nodded encouragingly, pointing to the front door.

“Thank you,” I mouthed, running out the front door.  I saw the flashlight on the railing, grabbed it and ran to the one place I knew I would find him.

When I reached his spot, his back was to me.  He was pummeling the bag, bare-fisted, his shirt thrown on the rock behind him, and a light sheen of sweat covering his tattooed back, shimmering under the moonlight.

I stopped short, watching him from a distance through the trees.  

He had called me a warrior, but he was the true warrior.  I gazed in awe at his strength as blow after blow landed on the swinging bag.  

Warmth and desire washed over me as I watched his savage display of pure masculinity.  I wanted those hands on me, pushing and pulling on my flesh, I wanted to feel him inside me, filled up with his passion for me.  I ran through the trees, and he stopped punching when he heard me behind him.

“Lacey, I —,”

I held up a hand to stop him.

“No, listen to me, Riot, please?”  I pleaded.  He stood in front of me, the fire in his eyes a threat to my very sanity as I searched for the right words.  “Look, I understand what you’re trying to do.  Holding back.  Wanting to be gentle.  And I appreciate it, I really do, so much.  But um…” Shyness threatened to overtake me, but I pushed it away.  “Look, I need this. You. Me. Whatever this is between us…I need to know what it feels like to say yes.  To be wanted, because you want me.  Not because you’re paying for me.  Not because you own me.  But because you want me just for me.  I want to…I need to…know what that feels like.  You don’t have to be gentle with me, Riot.  I can take it, I promise.  I - I - I’ll love it, I want it, I want you…please, Riot, please show me everything I’ve missed, please show me what it’s really supposed to be like…”  I was begging now, but I didn’t care.

His eyes darkened with first confusion, then realization, and then the savage passion I had glimpsed earlier.  He walked to me, his lips landing on mine in a fury of lust and I met his intensity as much as I could.  I was breathless, my knees weakening as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close, possessing me and yet somehow, I knew I was still the one in charge.