Snow in Love (7 page)

“I don’t think he was. He specifically said
you
had had such a great time out there.”

I looked over at Sabrina and Cam.

“He’s having buyer’s remorse. I can tell. That guy’s never satisfied with what he has.”

I ignored this because Sabrina got up from her booth, and Cam caught my eye. Then, when Sabrina walked past us, she pinched me. “Ow!” I shouted. “What is your problem?” She didn’t even look back or pretend she hadn’t done it.

“Are you okay?” We looked up from our table, into the nut-brown eyes of Cam Brock. Abby squeaked.

“Um. Yeah,” I said, shocked to see him there.

He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, um. Sorry about that.”

“Okay,” I answered, dumbfounded.

“Okay. Well, see you around. See you later, Abby.”

And with that he was gone.

Poor Abby. I was scared to look at her, and when I did, it was as expected. Her eyes were all misty and her cheeks were pink and she wasn’t breathing.

“Abby, back to earth,” Erin commanded.

“Why did he say that? ‘See you later, Abby.’ Why did he say that?”

“He just did. Forget it,” Erin commanded again.

Abby listened to Erin, but before she took another fry from my plate, she caught my eye and I knew that she hoped that Cam had come to talk to us because of her, not just because he had to apologize for his terrible girlfriend’s behavior.

I walked home from the diner, even though the sun had completely disappeared and it was snowing lightly. Will’s coat was remarkably warm, and I’d wrapped myself in a thick wool scarf that matched the hat I’d bought in Anchorage last year. My toes were sinking into the wintry chill, and I’d have been bothered by the wind hitting my face if my mind hadn’t been so occupied by everything else.

It wasn’t a far walk, really. We lived just over a mile from town, through the woods and past the path to the Winter farm. It was a walk I made often because I didn’t have a driver’s license. Now, I was walking because I wanted to sort things out in my head.

Erin sometimes didn’t say things in the most tactful way, but she hardly ever exaggerated and never made things up. If she said that Jake was planning a sledding trip for us, then odds were good that he was. But this didn’t make any sense to me. One day he was kissing me, then he avoided me for days. His family thought we were broken up and Evie clearly did too. I mean, we
were
broken up! And now what? He’d show up at my doorstep with eight dogs and a bouquet of flowers? It wasn’t exactly his style.

Not to mention that every time I saw him and Evie together, they looked like they were really enjoying each other. I didn’t know when I’d gone from the girlfriend to the other woman, but I’d gone from feeling special and happy to insecure and invisible.

I had to conclude that Erin was mistaken, and to trust my own mind. From what I saw, Jake wished I would go away. And maybe I should, I didn’t know. I didn’t want to make trouble, I wanted everything to just be settled. But on the other hand, I wanted explanations and apologies.

I just didn’t know how I was going to get them. Maybe I
should
go on that double date with them. But that meant asking Will for another favor, and I didn’t know if my insides could take it. He made me a little nervous.

God, if Sabrina had been in this situation, she would’ve locked Evie in her cabin, thrown away the key, and cornered Jake until he submitted. I kicked a foot full of snow in frustration. How exactly did good, nice girls get what they wanted? How had I gotten Jake in the first place?

I rewrapped the scarf around my neck, and thought about how excited Jake had been that first winter he was here. Maybe it was just as simple as this: that he’d been up here enough to know that there wasn’t anything special about Willow Hill. Including me.

W

He was my ex. He had a new girlfriend. Which meant he had no business kissing me, in his backyard or anywhere else. As I showered and got ready to go to Snow Cones, I thought to myself,
So what if I’ll never get kissed again?
At least I knew what it was like. Wonderful.

But, other than the lack of kissing, what was
really
so bad about being single? I mean, really, Jake was my boyfriend by phone and text messages only. I had always gone to school alone and spent my summers alone. So really my life wouldn’t be that different once the winter break was over. And the dance, I’d survive the dance. For one night, I’d be on the popular boy’s arm, Sabrina would be driven crazy with jealousy, and all would be right with the world.

This was it. I was just going to make the best out of my new single life.

I stopped by Snow Cones on my way to Mount Crow and found Madison Reid at the counter with her mother.

“Jessie!” She leaped off the stool and flew into my arms. I picked her up with ease and carried her over to Mrs. Reid, who was drinking green tea. The woman was a stick. I’d be surprised if she’d ever tasted ice cream in her whole life.

“Hi, Mrs. Reid,” I said to her.

“Hi, Jessie,” she said warmly, taking Madison from me.

“How are you?”

“I’m good. I’m babysitting today.” She pointed to the booth behind her, where I was surprised to see Evie’s little sister sitting across from my brother, Brian. “I think little Tiffany has a crush.”

I didn’t even want to think about it.

“Are you working this morning?” she asked me.

“No, no, just stopped in for a pre-slope snack,” I said, walking around the counter and resting against the shake machine.

“Okay, well, it’s good to see you, Jessie,” she said. “Come on, Tiff, we’ve got to go.” Tiffany scrambled out of the booth, shouted, “Bye, jerk,” to my brother, and bounded out the door.

“Bye, Jessie.” Mad leaned across the counter and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Once they left, I made myself a special Single Jessie Goes Skiing concoction of rocky road and pistachio ice cream.

“Me too! I want some!” Brian came over and started eating from my dish.

“Who is that, your girlfriend?” I said snottily to him.

“At least I have one,” he shot right back. I couldn’t blame him.

I left Snow Cones and took Brian over to the slopes. We skied for about an hour, and then my mother picked him up to take him to hockey practice. I went back up, this time over to the hard trails, and began to run through a few hills. Erin was working, and Abby was too busy sewing my dress for the ball to come play with me. But I didn’t mind. I had resolved to be a happy single girl. Single girls could ski without their friends and enjoy it.

I got into the chairlift line at the bottom of the hill. The line was long, much longer than any other time of year, because of the winter tourists. Families, teenagers, college kids—there were throngs of people waiting. It sometimes seemed kind of silly to me that you’d wait for up to a half hour to do something that lasted less than five minutes.

Just as I was congratulating myself on how well I was handling my solitary lifestyle, I saw that Jake was walking toward me. He hadn’t seen me yet, but I was sure that as soon as he did, he’d find a reason to turn the other way.

But I was tired of being ignored. And I didn’t want to pretend not to see him. That’s not what single girls who felt good about themselves did. So I waved my ski pole in the air and called out a sharp, pointed, “Hey.”

He slowed when he saw me and there was a moment where I could see him deciding his next move. So I turned my back on him and paid attention to the line. I began a hard count in my head, “One pistachio, two pistachio,” and promised that I wouldn’t turn to see what direction he’d walked off in until I was at five pistachios.

Turns out, I didn’t need to wait. Because I suddenly felt a jab in my side. “Hey,” Jake said, standing right by me.

I lost my breath for a moment. I couldn’t believe that he was openly engaging me in conversation.

“Hey,” I said, wishing once again that I had just a little bit of Sabrina Hartley in me, just a little bit of an ability to say something cute and funny and fabulous.

“You holding a place for anyone?” He pointed to where I was standing in line, and actually, I think he kind of pointed at the red
X
on my coat.

“Nope, on my own today.”

“No cutting, Jessica Whitman!” I turned behind me to see the small, hunched-over figure of Mean Agnes. She was wearing a pea-green parka over hot-pink leggings that she probably bought in kid’s sizes—she wasn’t an inch over four foot ten. Her lips were covered in bright red lipstick, and her skin was rouged as if she were a circus clown. I’d seen her skiing before. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

“He’s not cutting. I was waiting for him,” I snapped right back.

“That’s not what you just said.” Mean Agnes harrumphed and accused me with her ski pole. “I’ll be keeping my eye on you, missy!”

Jake looked at me with eyes rounded in mock horror. He could be so funny. I would miss the way he made me laugh.

“Don’t sweat her,” I whispered, trying not to laugh too hard.

Jake’s smile was dazzling. “I’ll be keeping my eye on you, missy.”

I stopped laughing. He had broken up with me. I wasn’t allowed to find anything he said funny anymore.

I pulled my goggles down over my eyes. I don’t know why I did this. I normally hated wearing them—I liked to be able to see. But this easy conversation was making keeping my new resolutions difficult. In fact, I couldn’t help wondering if he
was
going to ask me to go on a sled ride.

We moved forward, and Jake finally broke the silence. “Has the day been good?”

For a split second I contemplated not answering him, but that wouldn’t accomplish anything. So I said, “Yeah. It’s kind of icy over on the far hill. But here it’s nice and smooth. You’ll have a fast run.”

“Cool,” he said, and then we descended into silence. We didn’t speak until we got to the very front of the line.

“Where’s Evie today?” I asked. It wasn’t even that I was trying to get the goods on him or bring up this sore subject, but we were being so quiet that it was getting awkward. I was desperate for conversation.

“Oh, um. You know. At the spa again. Skiing’s not her thing.”

I looked at him then and made a face. “This town is even more boring if skiing’s not your thing. What will she do every year? Just go to that spa?”

He looked at me funny.

“I mean, I know that her family is buying a cabin here or whatever.”

“Oh,” he said. “I told her she’d like it better in the summer, when she could see all the animals and the trees and stuff. I don’t think she will, though.”

“You don’t think she will what?”

“I don’t think she’ll like it at all.” That was it! Proof! He was over Willow Hill! This actually made me feel a little bit better. I mean, I couldn’t help where I was from, right?

Thankfully we were next in line, so I didn’t have to say anything more to him. I’d run out of topics that would preserve my newfound single dignity and I didn’t want him to say or do anything else that would remind me how good we were together. Before I knew it we were in the air in our chair, our skis dangling from our feet over the treetops and building roofs. I took a deep breath and let the cold winter air into my lungs.

When we got to the top of the mountain, I readjusted my goggles and pulled my hat down tighter over my head. I wasn’t sure what to expect here. I didn’t know if Jake had just ridden with me to get an earlier spot in line.

But he pointed his ski pole at me and then at the bottom of the hill. “Heard you were the slowest skier out here!” And then he pushed himself down in a gathering of speed and the chase was on!

I pushed myself forward and then gravity took over. I went hurtling over moguls and cutting in and out of the ski paths, keeping my eye on him the whole time. He was about ten feet in front of me, and I knew that there was a turn coming up that I could take advantage of. Sure enough, when there was about a third of the hill left for us, I cut my skis to the left, and pushed myself forward. Then I jammed my body to the right, and I overtook him.

He screamed, “Hey! Not fair!” as I streaked past him to the bottom of the hill.

I raised my poles high over my head in victory.

Jake finally skied to where I was and came to a stop in front of me. “Not fair! You have a home team advantage!” He whipped the goggles off his head and grinned at me.

I grinned back. “Double or nothing.”

“You’re on.” He immediately turned and made his way to the chairlift, replacing his goggles on his head.

I skied behind him, grinning from ear to ear. Being single wasn’t nearly as fun as skiing with Jake.

We spent the whole day together. By the time we trudged into the lodge, the sun had set, and the ski lights were on and I was right back where I started, wanting to be his girlfriend again. My face was red and cold—I probably looked like a big shiny apple—but I didn’t care. This was what I had needed. A day with Jake, to remind him that I was fun and interesting and that we could have a future outside of this town. “Want a hot chocolate? My treat, since I won most of the races.” We were standing in the doorway of the lodge, and the warmth of the room was making my fingers tingle.

Jake didn’t answer. I don’t think he heard me. He was scanning the room, and I assumed that he was looking for Evie. I looked around the room too. There were a lot of people there, people like us who’d finished their day’s runs and were looking to warm up.

But no Evie.

Jake didn’t answer. So I poked him with my pole. “Hot chocolate? On me?”

He looked at me finally, and mumbled, “Okay.”

I went to the counter, where I recognized the girl working, the girl who had looked so smitten by Will Parker the other day. She was a friend of Erin’s from the resort. She went to college in Anchorage but came back home to work during weeks like this when it was so busy.

I watched her make my hot chocolates and tried to think about what to do next. How to keep these good feelings going? We had had a fun time, and it was like it used to be, us skiing, laughing as we raced. We’d even taken a break and sat in the snow at the base of the hill, by the sledding tracks, and watched the kids race one another on souped-up, homebuilt sleds. I quickly retrieved my cell phone from the inner pocket of my parka, and texted Erin.

FAVOR
:
CHECK SPA LOG
.
WHEN DOES RIVAL GET DONE
?

The girl handed me my hot chocolates and I blew on them. The steam rising from the white whipped cream meant that we wouldn’t be able to drink them too soon. I checked my cell phone, willing Erin to get my message before Jake saw that the drinks were ready. Lo and behold, my friend came through:

ONE HOUR
.
GODSPEED
!

I grabbed the handles on the mugs and weaved my way through the crowds to where Jake was sitting on a couch right in front of the fire. One hour was all I had to make him fall for me again, make him realize it was better to have a girlfriend with his interests. I mean, what, was he going to ski alone whenever he and Evie were at Mount Crow?

I handed him the mugs, unzipped Will’s parka, and sat. The ends of my pigtails were frozen and tickled my neck.

He handed me my mug and we both sipped, or tried to.

“Sorry, they’re a little hot,” I said to him, but I kept looking at the fire. Skiing was one thing, but now, sitting next to him, I didn’t know what to say. I snuck a peek at him. Yup. He was the same old Jake, with his tan skin and his cute brown mole on his cheek. His hair was sweaty and mussed up from our day. He held the mug near his chin and looked at me. He smiled.

I smiled back.

Then he breathed in deeply. I did the same. Then, finally, I couldn’t take it anymore—I began to giggle, a terribly childish trait of mine. This broke the ice, though, and he put down his mug and poked me in the side. This sent me into catastrophic peals of laughter.

“I forgot how ticklish you are!” he said.

I put my hot chocolate on the table in front of me and turned with raised hands to play defense.

“Stop it!” I squealed, doubled over to fend off his ticklish advances.

“Nope! Winner’s prize is tickles!” He kept at it, until finally the women sitting behind us, on a couch that was back-to-back with ours, turned and shushed us.

Jake and I looked at each other conspiratorially.

“Sorry. Sorry,” I said to the ladies, and Jake had to bend over to keep himself from laughing.

“You’re such a troublemaker,” he teased, grabbing my hand.

And then this broke the giggle spell. He held on to my hand and I looked at him, and then it all came rushing back. All my hurt feelings about him and Evie and the memory of him kissing me in his backyard.

I think he sensed that my mood changed, but he didn’t let go of my hand.

“Jessie, I had a good day with you. I forgot about how fun it was.”

Who needed one whole hour? Mission accomplished in five minutes! I was
so
the champion!

I looked at our hands in my lap, and then felt him move in closer to me. My heart started pounding. Was he going to kiss me again? Kisses at nighttime when nobody was looking was one thing, but kisses in daytime in public were quite another! For a split second I thought of Will and how I’d have to tell him our date for the dance was off.