Snapped (Urban Renaissance) (17 page)
Read Snapped (Urban Renaissance) Online
Authors: Tina Brooks McKinney
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
ANGIE SIMPSON
I woke up and immediately started choking; smoke was everywhere. Fire was eating through the living room. I knew that if I didn’t act now, the fire would devour me too. I could hardly move my head; it felt like Merlin still had his powerful hands around my neck. The fire had already crushed my panties and shirt, and now it was working on my pants. Damn.
I shook the pain I was feeling and started to move. The front door was covered by a wall of flames so I stumbled toward the kitchen and froze. There was another wall of flames, but I could see the back door behind it. I tried to hold my breath while I figured out what to do, because I was on the verge of choking to death.
I was trapped. I’d always heard that the three worst ways to die were drowning, suffocation, and fire; but fire was the worst of the worst. With that thought, I decided that I wasn’t going to die. Not now, not like this.
I looked through the flames at the back door and charged. A guttural scream left my mouth when the fire feasted on my naked flesh. That was when I realized that I wouldn’t make it on my own.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
GINA MEADOWS
I sat on the couch in my favorite spot and ran my mouth on the phone to my best friend. “That boy stayed out all night and didn’t have the decency to call.”
Tabatha said, “Now, hold off, Gina, ain’t no need getting all mad. That
boy
, as you call him, is a grown man.”
boy
, as you call him, is a grown man.”
“Grown or not, it is still common courtesy to call someone you are staying with and let her know that you ain’t coming back. He’s just like his damn father.”
“Gina, you ain’t making no sense. First you complain that he comes back to stay with you temporarily, and now you want to fuss ’cause he stayed out all night. Give him a break.”
“Whose side are you on anyway, Tabatha?”
“I’m not picking sides. Right is right. You are miserable with your life and you want everyone around you to be miserable. You wouldn’t be such a bitch if you had your baby.”
I wanted to hang up the phone. I both hated and loved that she always spoke from her heart no matter how much it hurt. “I am not miserable. Maybe a little unhappy, but that’s a far cry from miserable.”
She had her nerve, like everything in her life was going great and shit.
I said, “Plus, if I like making everyone miserable, why do you continue to hang around me?”
’Cause I love your miserable ass. Now, what are you doing this weekend? Me and a couple of friends are going to take a bus trip to Biloxi, and I wanted to know if you want to go.”
“Girl, I ain’t got no money to be throwing away, and neither do you.”
“And when did you start knowing what’s in my pocket?” She was mad, so I guess I succeeded at making her miserable too.
“I’m sorry, boo. I guess I am being a bitch. When are you leaving?”
“We’re leaving at five o’clock on Friday evening. Are you going or not?” Her voice was laced with bitterness.
“Yes, thanks for inviting me. I’m sorry, so please don’t be mad at me. Having that boy around me just has me thinking all crazy.”
“Yeah, if that’s what you want to blame it on this time. I’ve got to go. I’ll pick you up around 4:15, late afternoon, on Friday.” She hung up before I could even say good-bye.
I was really going to have to work on curbing my tongue with Tabatha, because the last thing that I needed to do was alienate her. I wasn’t always the bitch I found myself as today. I used to be a loving woman who always had a smile on my face. That is, until Ronald fucked me over, and I couldn’t seem to get past the pain he caused me. I wanted him to pay for it, but he continued to ignore me, and that hurt worse than the betrayal.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
MERLIN MILLS
While Cojo was at work, I reported to the base to pick up my orders for mobilization. My two-week break had gone by so fast it made my head spin. Cojo and I had settled into a comfortable routine at home again. Although we’d managed to mend our fences somewhat, we still weren’t where we used to be. It seemed like we were going out of our way to be nicer to each other, and it came off as being fake.
“Communication Specialist Mills, the captain will see you now.”
I jumped to attention, startled away from my thoughts. I followed the lieutenant to Captain Jamison’s office and waited outside the door to be announced. I was nervous as I entered the captain’s office. Rumor was she was a real bitch on wheels, and I didn’t need her busting my chops about anything. I marched over to her desk, stood at attention, and gave her a salute.
Captain Jamison was a petite woman who would have turned my head if she hadn’t been in uniform with all the medals on her chest warning me to stay in my lane.
“At ease.” She hardly looked up at me. She had a stack of files on her desk off to the corner, but she was reading one that I assumed was mine.
I waited for what felt like fifteen minutes, but was probably more like three. That’s one thing that I hated about the Army: They stressed about being on time but made you wait for everything. To be such a regimented entity, they were highly disorganized. God forbid the enemy found out just how disorderly we actually were, this country would be doomed.
I had an itch in the back of my throat, but I was so scared to cough for fear of having to hit the floor and knock off fifty pushups. Captains liked to pull their weight like that, especially the women. She closed the file and looked me straight in the eye, which made me even more uncomfortable than when she was ignoring me.
“I said at ease.”
I hadn’t realized that I was still holding my shoulders straight with my arm cocked at my head. I chuckled a little bit as I lowered my arm.
The smile that slipped across her lips disappeared and was replaced with a frown. “Something funny?”
“No, ma’am.” Instinctively, I pulled myself to attention again for what I was sure would be some form of punishment.
She completely threw me off guard with her next statement. “Have you enjoyed your little vacation?”
My eyes widened in surprise because she sounded like she actually cared. I thought about my response before I answered her. “I’ve been working out on the regular, Captain, so I don’t get lazy.”
This time she actually chuckled.
“Good answer. I see someone has prepped you well.”
I relaxed a little bit, but I didn’t allow myself to get too comfortable.
“I have your mobilization package here.” She lifted a fat envelope from the file that she was reading.
I could not read the expression on her face. I wasn’t sure if she wanted me to reach out and take them; she just waved them at me.
She said, “Do you like Iraq?”
“I will go anywhere the Army sends me.” My responses were from the book.
If she was trying to trip me up, she would have to come a little bit better than that. I’d been told that if I were to get too happy about an assignment, they would switch it and send me somewhere completely different. Iraq was okay, but if I had my choice, I would stay my black ass right there in Atlanta.
“Cut the shit, Specialist. This isn’t a trap. I’m just trying to find out where your head is at.”
I started to get nervous again. No one had prepared me for this little mind game. I definitely didn’t want to leave Cojo alone in Atlanta now that my brother was back in town. He hadn’t been by in a minute, but I still wasn’t resting comfortably about his late-night visit. I felt like I was being put between a rock and a hard place. Should I trust the captain or was this a trick?
“No offense, Captain, but boot camp taught me that officers don’t care about feelings and what we want. We are property of the United States Army.”
“See, Specialist, that’s where you’re wrong. There are some of us who actually care. Off the record, I allowed the Army to ruin my marriage. I, like you, was married when I enlisted. I got my commission based on my college experience so it wasn’t that bad, but I still had to travel and leave my husband at home. I thought we had what it took to make the marriage work. At the time, like you and Mrs. Mills, we agreed that my enlisting was the best answer for our situation.” She paused.
I didn’t know if she was waiting for me to say something. I was intrigued by what she was sharing with me, but I still wasn’t sure if she was setting me up or something.
After a few more seconds, she started speaking again. “At first, things appeared to be okay. I was told that once I finished officer’s training I could return to our hometown of Fort Jackson, Florida, but recruiters have a tendency to tell you what you want to hear and not necessarily what’s the truth. As a result, I stayed away too long and when I got back, my husband had moved on both physically and emotionally. He had no problem spending the monthly stipend I sent home, but he had no desire to resume what we had because he had fallen in love with someone else.”
I saw what I thought to be tears forming in her eyes. Instinctively, I wanted to go to her and rock her in my arms, but I knew that would be the fastest way to the brig! “Captain, I can’t thank you enough for your candor, and if the opportunity to speak is still on the table, I can honestly say that I do not wish to leave Atlanta at this time for personal reasons sensitive to my marriage.” I debated whether to divulge what had happened between my brother and my wife, but the scab hadn’t quite healed, so I kept my mouth shut.
She picked up my file and began reading again as if I weren’t even in the room. Her face once again became stoic; it made me nervous. While she was relaying her story to me, her face was softer. I could tell she still felt the pain of her husband’s betrayal. I wanted to ask her how long ago this had happened to her, but I knew better than to question an officer. If she wanted to tell me, that was one thing, but asking questions was a big no-no.
“I’m not going to be able to keep you here indefinitely, Specialist, but I will personally see to it that you get a job on post for a while. Maybe a month or so, but don’t make the same mistake I did. When it’s time to ship out, make sure everything that you value is intact.”
“Thank you, Captain. I will work on it.” All the worry and dread of leaving I carried around on my shoulders had been lifted away with the stroke of a pen, even if only temporarily.
The captain handed me my new job orders. “Your new deployment date comes from upstairs; it’ll arrive by mail.”
My heart was so full as I exited the captain’s office. I didn’t know how she knew that this was what I needed, but she did. Now, maybe I could relax a bit and work on saving my marriage. I would also be around to keep an eye on my brother, at least until he got into trouble again and was run out of town. Although I should have been giving my brother the benefit of the doubt, I knew him well enough to know that his good behavior wouldn’t last long.
CHAPTER THIRTY
COJO MILLS
It had been a wonderful week since Merlin had told me he didn’t have to go back to Iraq right away. I hoped the war would end before he got his letter. However, my day wasn’t starting right at all. First, I woke up late and my stomach was bothering me. All morning long I kept running to the bathroom as if I had to vomit, but nothing was coming out. If I was going to get sick, I wished it would happen already and let me go about my business. By lunchtime I had had it.
I went to my supervisor and asked to be dismissed for the day.
“You ain’t pregnant, are you?” she asked as I was leaving her office.
I was too stunned to react to her question. This thought never crossed my mind, but that could be the reason why I had been feeling so yucky lately. Damn, she may have a point, I thought. It was always our desire to have children, so I wasn’t shocked at the possibility, but the timing could have been better. After six and a half years, why now? Merlin and I were still tiptoeing around each other, but I was confident that he would accept our child with open arms. I decided to stop at Rite Aid on my way home to get a pregnancy test.
With this resolve I actually started to feel better, but not well enough to stay at work. It was Friday and I wanted to get a jump-start on my weekend. All of a sudden I was excited. Without thinking it through, I called Merlin. “Hey, baby, I’m headed home. I’m not feeling well. My boss said I should go home and take it easy.”
“Cool, I’m headed back to the house too. Is there anything that I can pick up for you?”
I wanted to tell him to get me a pregnancy test, but I decided to keep that little secret to myself until I knew for sure. “No, I just want to get some rest.”
“How about I fix us some dinner and we watch some movies and call it a night.”
I said, “That sounds good to me.”
“Is there anything in particular that you want to see?”
“No, surprise me. You’re good at picking out movies, so I know I won’t be disappointed.”
“All right then, I’ll see you when you get home.”
I hung up the phone with a smile on my face. Although we still weren’t where we were before, it was better. I was just glad that Gavin had stayed clear of our house. I still couldn’t believe that I didn’t realize that the man I was sleeping with was not my husband. Merlin’s mother had also stopped her string of confusing phone calls, but that was okay with me too ’cause I didn’t like her ass anyway. Girls only get two special moments in life: proms and weddings. Gina fucked my wedding up to where I don’t even look at my wedding pictures.
My smile slid from my face at the thought of my mother-in-law. She was such a hateful heifer and I didn’t know why. In the beginning and a few times afterward, I did everything I could to make her like me, but she was bound and determined not to. From the first day she met me, she acted as if I wore shit on my face or something. After several attempts to woo her, I gave up.
My thoughts wandered again. I stopped at CVS and purchased a pregnancy test. There were so many to choose from, I just grabbed the cheapest one I could find and rushed back to the counter. I had to go to the bathroom in the worst way and didn’t want to risk using a public restroom, especially with that strain of swine flu going around.
The ride home was so fast it was scary. I had just gone to the bathroom right before I left work, but it felt like I hadn’t been all day. That’s one of the reasons that I thought I might be pregnant. Add to that the fact that my breasts we so sore and sensitive, and the constant feeling of nausea that followed me all day long. I hadn’t thrown up yet, but I came close several times.
I turned into our apartment complex doing thirty and didn’t put my foot on the brake as I rode over the speed bumps. This didn’t help my breasts one bit. I winced in pain.
“Shit.” I rubbed my free hand over my breasts. The pain took my mind off the fact that I had to go to the bathroom so badly. I hit the second speed bump at the same pace. I wanted to slow down but my situation was urgent. I could not imagine what my car would smell like if I actually did wet myself. I pulled into the front of our building and had the door open before I had even parked the car. I grabbed my purse and my bag from CVS and dashed up the sidewalk toward my apartment. I ran as fast as my doubled-over body could go.
With keys in hand, I tried to get the key in the lock. “Dear God, please.” I could not get the key in the hole to save my life. After several attempts I gave up and rang the bell. A few seconds passed before Merlin answered the door. I had all but resigned to pissing on myself. At least I was at the house and wouldn’t ruin the upholstery of my car.
“What, you got to go to the bathroom again?” Merlin was laughing as he stepped out of the way.
“Yeah, move.” The end was in sight, and I prayed that Merlin had left the seat down in the bathroom. I was unbuttoning my pants as I raced down the hallway to our bedroom. I could have used the guest bathroom, but in my haste I forgot about it.
“Thank you, Jesus,” I said as I sank onto the seat in relief. The hot piss ran into the toilet. I released a heavy sigh of relief. I was so happy that I hadn’t peed on myself, I just rested my head on my arms as I allowed myself to finish taking a leak. I completely forgot about the pregnancy test that I had in my purse. Now would have been as good a time as any to take it. However, I was quite sure that I would have to go again within the hour.
“Everything come out okay?” Merlin was outside the door and he had jokes.
“Don t you have something that you need to be doing?” My voice was harsh, and I didn’t understand where that mean streak came from. All of a sudden I was mad.
“Dag, I didn’t mean to piss you off.”
I could tell by his tone that Merlin was hurt. I didn’t mean to lash out at him, but the words just slipped out of my mouth. I got up from the toilet after wiping myself and pulled up my pants and zipped them. It wasn’t his fault that I had become so moody. I quickly washed my hands because I had to apologize before my behavior ruined the rest of our night together.
“Baby, wait, I’m sorry. I told you I wasn’t feeling well, and I’m sorry that I took that out on you.” I reached out to touch his shoulder because his back was turned to me.
He immediately melted and turned around and took me in his arms. At that moment things felt just as they used to between us, and I fell in love all over again with my husband.
He said, “Honey, I’m sorry. I was so excited to have you all to myself that I completely forgot that you weren’t feeling well.” He led me to the sofa and gently pushed me down. Once I was seated, he pulled the reclining lever to elevate my feet. Then, he took off my shoes and began massaging my feet. I was outdone. Merlin was good to me, and he often did sweet things for me, but I could not recall one time that he took off my shoes, let alone massaged my feet.
“I’m fine now that I’m home. I just want to take a nap until dinner is ready. I’m so tired.”
He reached over my head, grabbed the throw from across the sofa and gently pulled it over me. Kissing me on the forehead, he left me and headed in the direction of the kitchen. All evidence of his ire had disappeared.
“I wonder what he will say if in fact I do end up pregnant,” I mumbled to myself.
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