Slumber (30 page)

We’d been walking an hour and stil Wolfe hadn’t said a word to me. The tension between us was thick and uncomfortable; even my teeth ached with it. I concentrated on watching where I was going, thankful to Sarah who had healed al my new blisters again. I’d probably have a few by the time we got off the mountains but maybe not so many. My feet were already feeling harder and stronger. That morning as I’d puled on L’s trousers and shirt, I realised how much weight I’d lost since I’d left Silvera. My calves and thighs had slimmed with muscle, my stomach flatter from eating sparingly and walking the hils. Stil, despite our similar heights, L

was wiry and I was stil curvy; she wore her trousers tight, and on me they were indecent. I’d forgotten al about propriety up in the mountains without anyone from home to see me. But now that Wolfe was around, I was suddenly painfuly aware of how revealing these clothes were. I had put my borrowed coat on over the top of the trousers and shirt before Wolfe had seen them. I wouldn’t be removing it.

The silence continued between us, Wolfe keeping a careful distance, enough for me to know he wasn’t speaking with me, but not enough so he couldn’t keep an eye on me. I kept waiting for his explosion of indignation and anger, and when it didn’t come I was strangely hurt.

The tension only grew thicker as the afternoon wore on and we found ourselves at the outskirts of Shadow Hil. Before I could warn Wolfe, he turned to me with a finger to his lips, hushing me. He knew about Shadow Hil. Either the Moss’ had warned him, or he may have already met Brint in Hope o’Hil and Brint had warned him. We moved on the outskirts of the town with stealth and quiet, the voices in the distance making my heart pound. I grew unbearably warm under my coat. It was with a sigh of relief when we made it past the Hil without incident, and carried on at a quicker pace down the mountain. Again, we were making good time at this speed.

An hour or so later I heard the trickle of the stream in the distance and something about the wood seemed familiar. I shivered. We were close to where I’d been taken by the Mountain Man. Without explaining, I picked up my feet, almost running to get away from the spot, my skin crawling, my neck prickling. I felt as if his shadow was watching me, taunting me. I shuddered in revulsion and began to run. The sounds of Wolfe’s running footsteps grew louder and closer, but I couldn’t stop.

Abruptly, I was forced to a halt, Wolfe’s hand catching my arm and dragging me around to face him. His features were fierce with anger, the golden striations in his blue eyes prominent with passion. “What the hel were you thinking?!” He yeled, not caring if his voice carried now that we were miles from Shadow Hil.

I struggled to get out of his grip. “I just felt like running.”

“Not that Rogan,” he bit out, his jaw clenched. He looked close to violence. I struggled harder to get away from him, but he only puled me closer. “I’m talking about you running off from Arrana, alone without an escort; about lying to me and making a fool of me; of nearly getting yourself raped and kiled!” Like always his overbearing attitude caused my knee jerk reaction – to dispute him. “Nearly.
Nearly
, alright. I managed wel enough without you, Wolfe.”

“Wel enough?! Jonas told me how he found you, Rogan, and he spared me no details!”

“Wil you stop yeling? Are you trying to get us into bother?” I hissed, glancing around to make sure we were stil alone.

“Stop trying to wriggle your way out of discussing it.”

Using al my strength, I tugged out of Wolfe’s grasp, my own face now red with frustration and anger. “Did you ever stop to consider I might not be ready to discuss it?”

Wolfe’s expression changed instantly. He slumped, his eyes grew anxious. “Rogan…”

I shook my head.

He nodded, his lips pinched tight. “Fine. But what about my first question? You ran away, Rogan. From me. You knew I would come after you and as far as you knew I had no way of knowing which way you went. I could have got lost up here, Rogan.” Guilt gnawed at me, and I shook my head in denial. “No. I didn’t… I thought if you did chance into the mountains you would bring an escort; Chaeron, or a few of the men. I didn’t think you would be foolish enough to come al the way into the Mountains after me alone.”

“You’re lying,” he hissed in my face, causing me to flinch. “You knew I’d come after you, Rogan, you had to have known that.” I clenched my own jaw trying to stop the tears that choked me. Hanging my head, I didn’t say anything in return. Was he right? Had I known Wolfe loved me enough to do that? I knew what kind of man he was. Because of my fear of being alone with him, a fear of my own damn feelings, had I selfishly put him in danger? I didn’t know. I had no response. There was nothing I could say.

Al this time I’d fretted that his parentage meant perhaps he didn’t deserve me. But realy… I didn’t deserve him.

“I don’t know what I was thinking. I just knew I had to get this plant. For Haydyn.”

“And stil she lies,” he whispered bitterly.

We didn’t speak after that.

***

The journey downhil cut the time in half. By late night Wolfe and I broke out of the trees and into Hil o’ Hope.

I chanced a glance at Wolfe. “You came through here too?”

He nodded, not looking at me. “I stayed with a man caled Brint Lokam. He told me he’d sheltered a young woman with him who was looking for the Pool of Phaedra.”

My mouth fel open. “He knew I was a girl?”

Wolfe roled his eyes but not directly at me. I harrumphed. I’d so thought my disguise had worked. Had al of Hil o’ Hope known I was a girl? My cheeks flamed with embarrassment. We crossed through the quiet hil, noise, cheer and light spiling out of Hope Tavern. Wolfe didn’t stop. He was heading for the Lokam’s shack. I shook my head in wonder at the thought of Brint. He’d been such a gentleman to me. No wonder he’d seemed so concerned about letting me go into the mountains alone. He knew I was a girl!

The door to the shack opened before we even reached it and the tal figure of Brint came out. He squinted in the dark, holding up a lantern, and then grinned when he recognised us. “Wel, hulo there.”

I waved and folowed Wolfe up to the door.

“Brint.” Wolfe held out his hand to shake. Brint took it heartily, grinning at us both. “Could we perhaps trespass upon your hospitality one more evening, Mr Lokam?”

“No needin’ to be askin’.” He shook us off gruffly and grinned wider at me as I passed. Brint must have seen the look on my face because he said, “Ye wasn’t thinkin’ ol’ Brint was bein’ fooled by the boy’s outfit o yers? No one was but wee Tera. She be mighty embarrassed when she be told she flirted with a girl.” Wolfe raised an eyebrow questioningly as I blushed but I refused to tel him about the night at Hope Tavern. Not that I was sure he’d appreciate me speaking to him anyway.

Anna was happy to offer us some food and ale, and they put down blankets by the fire for us to sleep on. Wolfe was so mad at me he slept at the kitchen table.

***

I didn’t think I had ever been happier to be on flat ground in my life. I celebrated my last step off the Alvernian Mountains by rushing into the arms of Lieutenant Chaeron, who, unlike Wolfe, was happy to see me. I ignored Wolfe’s grunt as he strode past us. Chaeron squeezed me hard and I puled back. Half the Guard filed the narrow trade road leading away from the mountains. They al pretended to be indifferent to my clothing and the fact that I was informaly hugging Chaeron, treating him as a friend. But he
was
a friend. And I was thankful to see him again.

“Another hour and be damned Wolfe’s orders, I was coming up to get you both. I am delighted to see you are wel, Miss Rogan,” Chaeron smiled wearily at me. It didn’t seem as if he’d slept much since I had left.

“You too, Chaeron. I got the plant!” I whispered excitedly.

He smiled in relief and then lifted his gaze to Wolfe, who was taking off the winter coat and replacing it with his emerald jacket. We both watched as he mounted his horse, not looking back at me.

“He’s not speaking with me,” I told Chaeron forlornly.

“You frightened him, Miss Rogan. Give him time.”

I nodded, but I didn’t think even time would fix the situation between Wolfe and I. Chaeron had no idea what I’d gone through up in that mountain. For that to have happened to me, surely made Wolfe sick with impotence. He was a man who believed in protecting others. And I hadn’t let him protect me. I hadn’t trusted him.

With another woeful look at the man who had so surprisingly complicated my life, I turned and mounted the horse Chaeron had waiting for me.

“Don’t you wish to remove that coat, Miss Rogan?” Chaeron enquired as he puled up beside me.

“Don’t you dare.” Wolfe was suddenly in front of us, his eyes blazing. “It’s indecent what you’re wearing, Rogan. You wil not take that off in front of my men.”

“Indecent?” Chaeron’s brow furrowed.

“You saw?” I blushed, aghast.

“At the Moss’.” He nodded. “Before you put the jacket on.” A strange look entered his eyes and I could have sworn a flush rose on the crest of his cheeks. He shifted on his horse and then glared at me. “Keep it on.” And then he headed off, leading the way for me and Chaeron to move through the men (who al nodded their relieved greetings at me) so we were in front of the entourage.

“Indecent?” Chaeron asked again.

I shrugged, throwing him a sheepish look. “I’m wearing trousers. They leave little to the imagination.”

“Ah.” Chaeron shifted his gaze to Wolfe who began to galop off ahead of us. His mouth broke into a wide, knowing grin. “I think you’l be fine, Miss Rogan. You and Wolfe both.”

It was cold and black as tar outside by the time we entered Arrana and were alowed entrance into the Vojvoda’s home. I stil had the coat on, and after a day of blazing heat in the valey, my clothes were sticking to me. I needed a warm bath, badly.

As soon as I was inside, Chaeron took care of everything. I was taken to the room I had been given before and I watched impatiently as the servants filed a tin tub with hot water, leaving rose scented soap out for me. After the last maid had laid out one of my dresses for me, I shooed them out and began taking off L’s now dirty clothing. Sinking into the tub was like sinking into my own piece of haven. I breathed a sigh of relief, not realy able to comprehend that I had succeeded in retrieving the plant; that I was off those forsaken mountains. I felt as if I’d spent months up there.

I broke into hysterical sobs. My chest ached with the harsh racking, my throat closing and unclosing as I struggled to draw breath, tears burning my cheeks as they roled down one after the other as quick as rainfal. I hugged my body, trying to blot out of the memory of the Mountain Man, assuring myself my body was mine, and mine alone, and that he’d never get near me again.

“My Lady?” a voice asked softly, folowed by a tapping on the door.

I swiped at my tears and shuddered in air. “I’m fine,” I caled out, my voice quavering. “I’m alright.”

“Are ye sure, my Lady?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

I waited for the sounds of fading footsteps and then reached for the soap, scrubbing the bar over my body and lathering it into my hair. I couldn’t think about the bad things that had happened to me in Alvernia. I had to think of the good. Like Brint. And L. Especialy L. Had I realy only known her a matter of days? I smiled through my tears, thinking of gruff L who had saved my life and burrowed her way into my much guarded heart. Haydyn would love L. I couldn’t wait for them to meet. I couldn’t wait to repay the Moss’ for al of their help.

Once I had calmed myself and gotten most of the poisonous memories out of my system for the night, I changed into my dress. It felt strange swishing about my ankles. Encumbering. I frowned at it and kicked out with my legs. I missed trousers. Sighing, I plaited my hair back and frowned at the way the dress lifted from my waist. My clothes no longer fit wel.

The Vojvoda Andrei Rada and his son the Markiz awaited me with Wolfe in the dark, masculine dining room.

“There she is,” Vojvoda Andrei caled out, approaching me with a fatherly smile. He took my hands and I found it difficult to smile politely back at him. “Lady Rogan, what a scare you gave us, taking off to tour Alvernia alone.”

I grimaced at our lie. I grimaced at the way the Vojvoda looked down on me condescendingly, in his gated home and isolated city. Where was he for the people of the Mountains?! Al my anger and frustration over everything that had happened suddenly seethed to the surface. If I’d known this was going to be my reaction at seeing him again I would never have come down for dinner. I struggled to maintain calm.

“Wel.” He shrugged, seeming nonplussed by my silence. “I’m very glad the good Captain caught up with you to keep you safe. How did you find my rough lands?” I thought of L and her forthright honesty. Of the Moss’ kindness and sincerity. Of Brint Lokam and the people of Hil o’ Hope’s generosity.

“Like everywhere else in Phaedra, your Grace. Populated with good people and bad people… and poorly governed.” I straightened my shoulders, jutting out my chin defiantly. “If you’l excuse me.”

And leaving al three of the men with their jaws hanging to the floor, I spun on my heel and left them to it.

The days ahead were filed with a mixture of anticipation and a sickening coldness. I barely ate a thing as we galoped through Daeronia, stopping to pick up the two soldiers in the mining vilage, who now greeted us happily, offering us bread and shelter. But we didn’t stay long. If our pace had been grueling before, now it was frantic. I knew the Guard were curious, that they al suspected something more was going on, especialy since they’d seen me come out of the mountains. They wondered what an earth had possessed me to go up them. But I didn’t want to panic anyone, especialy when we were so close to saving Haydyn. I’d rather they’d think I’d gone light in the mind than know the truth. The times I did sleep, I twisted and turned with the nightmares. I dreamt of arriving in Silvera only to find we were too late and Haydyn was gone. I dreamt the Mountain Man was stil alive and chased me into the empty palace, no one there to protect me from his deranged lust. And I dreamt of Wolfe. Always he stood on the Silver Cliffs, his eyes begging me to save him. I’d make a move towards him and feel a tug on my hand. I’d turn to find Haydyn, shaking her head at me, my parents and little brother behind her, mirroring her expression. When I looked back at Wolfe, he’d glare at me, hatred filing his eyes. And then he’d leap, leap right over the cliffs into the crashing water.