Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers (18 page)

MEAN #4: WHORE ONSTAR

This girl was supposed to drive from her town about two hours away to fuck me here in Austin, and this exchange starts about the time she was supposed to be getting on the road. This didn’t begin as sexting, but this dumb bitch drove me so nuts AND KEPT INSISTING that we sext, I lost it on her and tried to say the most offensive shit I could think of, to see if I could get her so upset she wouldn’t even come over. It was impossible—like trying to rattle a 911 operator: