Sleeping Helena (11 page)

They seemed such a happy family, huddled together with smiles on their faces and kindly lights in their eyes. It could be an artist’s trick, she thought, but somehow the very air around them seemed to vibrate with love. It was nothing like what Helena knew.

Helena counted: eight girls and one boy. Her face flushed; suddenly she recognized Thekla, already looking pained. She inspected the others more carefully and saw in them the rest of her aunts. Only the oldest of the eight girls was a stranger. Her eyes were the palest blue and looked out beyond Helena to the far side of the room, as though she was unaware of the artist’s presence. She must be their older sister. Helena memorized her face and then let her eyes wander to the young man who must be their brother, someone else she knew nothing about.

Helena knelt in the dust of the attic and stared. His eyes were black as night, as was his hair, and his lips were a dull scarlet. She traced the shape of his face with her finger, could almost feel the velvet cloth around his neck. Something inside her lurched and reached out for him. The strain was immense. She flung herself away from the canvas as her stomach began to roil. Helena knelt in front of the painting as her hunger rose up inside her. She vomited and tears streamed from her eyes.

The painting waited while Helena shivered and curled into a ball. She lay in the dust and writhed like a snake fighting capture. She was seared by a need that had everything to do with her gifts. She had to have him. He was what life craved.

The painting was too large to carry, but she could no more leave his image in the attic than she could not breathe. The fit passed, she was able to rise to her feet, but slowly, as though her limbs were unsure of their function. She glanced around at the jumble of boxes. Surely there was something sharp up here somewhere. She would cut him out of the painting and leave the rest to rot.

She kicked a few piles of books aside and uncovered a rusty trowel. It would do. She gouged a hole in the canvas and sliced jaggedly around his shape. The trowel was old and its handle was loose. It slipped and sliced into her finger.

Helena snatched her hand away from the canvas and put her finger into her mouth as she had done when she was a child. She felt like a little girl just then, very small and helpless, but the moment passed and she pulled her finger out from between her lips. Another hack at the canvas with the trowel and it was done. She removed the piece and rolled it up gently, a treasure to be cherished. She turned out the lights behind her and made her way downstairs.

In her room, Helena unrolled the scrap of canvas. His eyes were on hers; she felt pulled in again. She retched with hunger, folded the canvas and tucked it away in a drawer. She wanted him as much as she wanted her gift, and didn’t know where to find either.

That night they gathered, seven aging sisters, much as they’d done on the night of Helena’s christening. It was a different place, a different time, but the matter at hand had not changed. Hope served the women coffee as Thekla began.

“I’m sure you all know by now why we’re having this meeting.” Thekla sent a pointed look in Eva’s direction. “I am of a mind to seal the windows in the house. Some of you feel the need to discuss this first.”

Thekla glared at Ingeburg as the others waited for her to finish. “I mean to have them boarded up immediately.”

She steeled herself for their response.

Hilda and Helga leaned forward, their lack of astonishment proof that Eva had made the rounds. “It is not the windows, but the glass
—
just say it. We are not children, we know your motives.”

“I cannot agree to this, Thekla. We do not even know what Kitty’s gift will do.” Zilli appeared prepared to jump straight into the fray.

“I seem to be the only one who still takes Kitty’s curse seriously.” Thekla aimed her ire at the twins. “And let me point out, it was you two who first thought it was glass we should fear.”

“If you take it so seriously,” Ingeburg countered, “why bring us here in the first place? Eva was right, you put us directly in Kitty’s path.”

“We
all
agreed to this plan. We have to be close to Kitty. Some of us don’t share her particular vision.” Thekla spat out the words as her skin mottled with anger.

“Yes, and we’ve been here for years. She’s done nothing.” Eva said. “May I remind you, Thekla, it was a
gift
, not a curse. There are safeguards to keep us from using our gifts for harm.”

Eva was bluffing and Thekla knew it; there was no mechanism to prevent them from using their gifts as they liked, only their own good sense and the experience gained by their ancestors. Apparently they had not learned their lessons.

When Thekla held her silence, Eva tried another argument. “I hardly think the windows are a cause for alarm. You’ve stripped the house of all else, at least let it have its dignity.”

“I cannot protect the child if you won’t let me do it,” Thekla was livid, her neck was taut and she sounded as if she ground salt between her teeth.

“You have protected her, but we are in this together, are we not? Surely if we pull together we can continue to do so without having to resort to such a drastic change to the house. I suggest one of us be with her at all times. We’ve always made sure she is never alone outside of the house. We can do the same with her inside.” Eva caught her breath and then continued before Thekla could stop her.

“We must keep in mind, my sisters, that Helena is young. It is natural she should eventually outgrow us. One day we will have to let her go, but for now let us join forces around her. Are we agreed?”

Thekla’s jaw tightened. Eva had taken the meeting by storm. She was willing to have it done despite Eva’s argument, but she saw she would be very much alone in her victory. Her sisters were joined against her. Perhaps it was a bit much. Eva’s idea wasn’t a bad one and would probably do for a while, but Kitty would quickly find a way around it. Helena’s birthday was imminent, her sixteenth already. She’d be bored with her old aunts soon, if she weren’t already. Perhaps something could be arranged.

“Fine,” she said to her sisters. “Eva, you win. I will leave the windows. One of us will remain with Helena at all times. We will work out the details tomorrow, after a good night’s rest.”

Her sisters agreed to this, at least. Thekla watched them file out of the room until she was left alone in the pale light of a lamp. Shadows gathered in the corners as the sound of her sisters’ feet slowly faded down corridors and halls and into the house beyond. It was an old house, a grand house, and perhaps Eva was right to want to preserve it. She was right about Helena, too. One day they would have to let her go.

Helena had grown into a beautiful young woman, but that was to be expected. Thick, dark hair fell around gently sloping shoulders, and she bore herself as though she were a queen. For sixteen years they’d lived their lives around her, waiting and watching and fearing the worst, yet somehow, Helena was still alien to them.

Thekla contemplated a future in which Helena was out of their reach. There was, perhaps, an even better plan. Helena would one day have to leave the household, yes, but Thekla could decide when and where she would go.

Helena waited until Thekla was gone, then slipped out from behind the thick velvet curtains drawn over the shuttered windows.
She was right.
They didn’t want her to find Kitty’s gift. All but one of them, she reminded herself. Aunt Eva, at least, seemed to be on her side. Helena looked at the windows behind her and wondered what they had to do with any of this. Her aunts were hiding all manner of things from her and from each other. That was even more fascinating, though it brought her no closer to finding her gift or the means of using it.

She would have to speak with Aunt Eva again, though Eva would only tell her what she thought Helena should know. No tantrum would change that. She wondered how Kitty would respond to her questions, and had a sudden idea.

Her aunts played such a fine game with her life. It would be a terrible shame not to join them.

She was in the music room, Eva on guard nearby, when she made her move. “I’ll be sixteen years old in a few days,”

“Are you sure? It seems just yesterday you were born.”

Helena’s supple hands glide over the keys; the piece was simple, alluring, original.

“You aren’t senile yet. You know perfectly well how old I’ll be.” Helena was not in the mood for joking. The music took a turn; it deepened and suggested danger.

“You are right, of course,” Eva said, rebuked,

“What does Aunt Thekla have planned?” Helena flashed her bright smile.

“It is going to be quite the event, I hear. She has invited over one hundred guests, if you can believe it. Every relative you can think of and then some, every tutor you’ve ever had. Thekla has demanded nothing but the best for you on your sweet sixteenth. She’s taken care of every detail herself.”

Thekla was probably trying to make up for her bad behavior, Helena thought. “Good. More presents for me.”

Helena let the music trail off, as if that was all, and then, “Has she invited your sister?” The lighthearted tune continued. She didn’t expect Eva to answer, and was surprised when she did.

Eva seemed to know exactly who Helena meant. “No.”

“Why not?” Helena lifted her hands away from the keys and turned to face her aunt.

“We don’t know where she is.” Eva failed to buy herself just a little more time with this lie.

“Yes, you do. You all know exactly where she is. I heard you talking about her, and about me.” Helena lifted her shoulders, dared Eva to contradict her.

“I want her to come to my party. If she doesn’t, I will tell Thekla what you’ve told me and see what she has to say about my gift.”

Shock slid across Eva’s features. She eased stiff fingers over swollen knuckles and shifted her weight in the chair.

“You are right. We do know where Kitty is. I will ask her to come to your party. Who knows? Perhaps she will bring your gift with her.”

Eva smoothed her skirt and rose. “The twins will sit with you next.”

“Wait.” Helena wasn’t finished with her. “Tell me about your brother.”

Eva sat back down in the chair and closed her eyes. “How do you know about our brother?”

“I have my ways,” Helena smiled wickedly.

Eva seemed to too tired to argue. “What would you like to know?”

“What was his name? Why don’t you talk about him?”

“Louis. His name was Louis. He died when he was eighteen years old. There is nothing to talk about.”

Helena’s gift opened hungry jaws and snapped at the air in front of her. She had assumed he was much like their oldest sister, a secret sibling they had chosen not to share. It never occurred to her he might be dead, like their mother. She was ruined. There was no hope. Life surged and pleaded for sustenance. She turned his name over on her tongue, remembered his eyes and could not accept his condition. The moment passed and Helena suddenly smiled. Once she had Kitty’s gift, she could fix that.

“Thank you, Aunt Eva. That will be all.”

Helena’s stomach howled, her pores opened and hunger carved his name on her bones. I must have the gift, she thought, so I can have Louis. Without him
I
will die.

The sisters gathered in the wide ballroom, a hugeroom that spanned most of the north wing of the house. Ladders dotted the open space, some in use by a team of men who were threading stars of silver and gold onto a long wire. Two others hung a large crystal globe in the center of the room. The entire solar system was suspended from the ceiling, lit by the lamp of the sun.

Thekla was smiling and chatting with the men as though she were young again. The plans had been laid; she had a special present prepared for Helena this year. Her sisters could keep their precious windows and hang mirrors all over the walls if they liked, for it would no longer matter. Tomorrow Helena was leaving and none of them were the wiser. Nor would they be, until she announced it at Helena’s party.

“Everything is so lovely. You have outdone yourself, Thekla.” Eva startled her from her reverie.

“Thank you. It was hardly all my idea, however. I had plenty of help from my sisters.” Thekla smiled pleasantly.

Eva snorted. “May we speak for a moment?”

“What is it? We can talk right here,” Thekla spoke hurriedly. “I must see to the catering.”

“It is about our sister.” Eva nodded her head at Thekla’s questioning look.

Thekla frowned and reached for her cane. “The library.”

They left the room as amiably as two dear old friends, but when they reached the library, Thekla threw down her cane in disgust. “What is it?”

“Tomorrow is Helena’s sixteenth birthday. It will be the grandest party we’ve ever held. I recall another event to which a certain person was not invited. I do not think we should make that mistake again.” Eva paused. “Invite Kitty to Helena’s party. Let us keep her as close as possible.”

Thekla stared at Eva as though she was a stranger. She needed a moment to think. Helena’s sixteenth . . . For no reason she could discern, Thekla suddenly put a date to the day. Why hadn’t she thought of it before? If anything were to happen, it would certainly be tomorrow! Helena, Thekla suddenly recalled, shared her date of birth with Kitty. Thekla shuddered as she remembered something else. It had been at Kitty’s own sixteenth birthday celebration that things had first gone wrong.