Sister Heart (11 page)

Your chest still rattlin'!

Tim huffs and puffs

Lucky you girls

didn't squash them gilgies!

We make fire

in a hollow in the ground

Fire is good medicine

I love blowing on the flames

seeing them flicker higher

watching wood burn hotter

cooking gilgies

Campfire makes me feel safe

for a little bit

Eat slowly

Janey tells Tim

Don't cough it up

Tim nibbles gilgie

Janey and me

eat what Tim can't fit in

You know what Teacher eats, Annie?

says Janey

Jam and cream!

True! I seen her

Haa

says Tim

Don't make her sweet!

Bush tucker's better

says Janey

I bet queens

eat gilgies for breakfast!

No one can see us here

Just trees

lizards

birds

and wildflowers

Catching gilgies

making fire

eating bush food

being with friends

keeps me strong

stops me breaking

When I look into the fire

I pretend I'm not in a bad place

I pretend I am home

Clang! Clang! Clang!

Gotta run!

says Janey

We race along the riverbank

Thump, thump, thump

Tim huffs and puffs

coughs up snot

but gilgie stays down

Tim trips

falls toward the water

Janey darts

grabs his shirt

throws him at me

slides down the bank

Splash!

into the river shallows

I scramble

quick

Help her out

Sis, you okay?

wheezes Tim

Course!

says Janey

Janey shakes herself

I twist her dress

squeeze water out

We walk to the eating place

Tim moans

I don't want stinky soup

Who wants soup after gilgie?

Nancy is mad at Janey

Shoulda told me you fell in!

No time, Nancy

Bell was ringin'!

We locked in now

Can't steal you dry clothes

Janey laughs

You no good at stealin' anyway

Dot grabs a handful of Janey's dress

twists hard

No water comes out

What we gunna do, Nancy?

Still feels wet

Nancy grabs Janey's jumper

pulls it over Janey's head

Sleep curled up

Janey slips into bed

We tuck her blanket tight

Only her nose pokes out

Stay like that all night

bosses Nancy

I wake early

Janey has an extra blanket

Nancy is squeezed in with Dot

snoring

I like Nancy

I can count

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5

I can spell Annie

A – N – N – I – E

I do jobs

go to school

eat stinky soup

But I'm still not the Annie

they want me to be

They call me Annie

I answer to Annie

But they don't know

who I really am

They don't know Janey

Tim

Nancy

Emmy

Dot

Inside

we are all secrets

dreaming secret dreams

of another life

My language name

is still hiding

When I go home

and see Mum

it will spring out

like a seed sprouting

Till then it's a secret

Me

on the inside

is a secret

to the outside world

Only way to stay safe

from the world of this place

World of school

work

bossing

World of forgetting

World I don't understand

I am like Janey

I keep my secrets hidden

Gilgie is good medicine

Tim is breathing easy

Snot's gone

cough's small

lips not blue

But now Janey's sick

Tim feels Janey's face

You gettin' hot like I got hot!

I'm catchin' you a gilgie

Make you strong!

Janey grabs his arm

I'll be bustin' mad if you try!

Days are still too cold, Tim

Promise you won't!

Yeah, yeah, bossy sister!

Promise good way!

Tim spits on a finger

crosses his heart

Janey lets him go

I'll be watchin' you!

Can't watch me always!

Janey goes to yell

chokes

spits muck

Tim looks sorry

Promise I won't, Janey!

Promise I'll stay away

from cold water

I'm worrying for Janey

When it's dark

and all the girls are asleep

Janey's coughing wakes me

She is sitting up

in bed

under her blanket

Don't cough so bad

if I sit up

she croaks

Someday, Annie

I'm takin' Tim to see the family

He'll get lotsa hugs

Won't be lost no more

Janey coughs

If I take him home

he'll know

the stuff I said's true

Dunno how I'm gunna do it

but I am

She plucks at her blanket

Should I give up hopin'?

Am I crazy, Annie?

I pat my chest

I'm crazy with hopin'!

Janey giggles

then coughs

and coughs

Poor Janey

I think she needs medicine

Next night I talk to Nancy

I got no medicine, Annie

Gotta be dyin' round here

before they give ya medicine

Nancy has a look at Janey

You crook?

I'm hot, Nancy

like I wanna melt

but I'm cold too

like I'm ice

Sleep in your jumper

Janey shakes her head

Nancy feels Janey's face

Lie on ya bed

Janey lies on her bed

Her face is shiny with sweat

but her teeth are clicking together

Nancy, Emmy, Dot and me

hold up her blanket

flap it about to cool

the hot part of her

When Janey falls asleep

we lay the blanket over her

Don't wanna get too cold

when you got a chill

says Nancy

Don't worry, Annie

I'm gunna tell Nurse

Janey needs medicine

After school

Nancy grabs me

Come on, Annie

Got a surprise!

I follow her to the creek

She points to a branch in the water