Sister Girls 2 (20 page)

BELLA

S
he did it again. After all the praying, after asking for forgiveness, and after making deals with the Lord, Bella slept with James again.

What was it about him? Or was it really about him at all, maybe it was about Ramsey and how she felt after she left him at the restaurant last night.

Bella knew she should have went with her gut instinct and told Ramsey no when he asked her to meet with him. Ever since the 1:00
P.M.
appointment they had at the church was cancelled due to a congregational emergency, he'd been calling and calling, begging to see her.

She'd already told him no numerous times, but he was tireless in his efforts. She knew if she kept saying no, he would show up at her church over and over until she said yes. She knew this because he told her he would.

She also knew before going that nothing good would come out of it. What could they possibly talk about? Why did he want to see her so bad? What did he think they were going to do, relive the past, talk about the old times? She knew that wasn't going to happen, she wouldn't allow it to.

Why go then? Because curiosity got the best of her. She wanted to hear what he had to say, she wanted to hear about what he'd been up to and she had to admit, she was curious about the old neighborhood and what happened after she left.

Bella didn't want to meet him at the church because people showed up unexpectedly and she didn't want to meet him at her house for the obvious reasons.

“Well, where do you want to meet?” he asked while wondering why she was making this so difficult.

“Let's meet at your hotel restaurant.”

 

 

Bella still didn't know how Ramsey ended up being in the same town as her, she did know he was staying at the Hilton in Eatontown because the few times he called that's what showed up on the caller ID.

Bella must have changed her clothes over five times before she settled on a simple pair of cream linen pants that fit loosely and a cream short-sleeve body suit, with a pair of ankle-strapped heels to match. The look she was going for was casual, not overdone, not churchy, and definitely not old. She did want him to notice that she still had “it” and noticed he did because when she walked in the restaurant he whistled.

“I'm glad you finally said yes to seeing me.”

Standing here in front of him, outside the church environment, she admitted to herself that she was too. “It was obvious you weren't going to stop asking to see me unless I said yes.”

Ramsey stood up, walked around to her side of the table, and pulled out her chair. She sat down.

Neither of them said a word, they just sat there looking at one another.

Finally Ramsey broke the silence. “Wow, life has really thrown us some curves, hasn't it?”

Afraid to let her guard down, Bella said, “Yes, it has, but God is good, He can do all things.”

Ramsey knew she was being cautious and told her, “You don't have to do that, Bella.”

“Do what?”

“Be the pastor. You can be yourself. Remember, I knew you when and you knew me when.”

“What do you mean ‘be the pastor?' That's who I am now.”

“Is it?”

Not wanting to be put on blast, Bella stood up. “I'm leaving. I didn't come here to be insulted or questioned about my faith.”

Ramsey stood up. “Bella, please sit back down, I didn't mean to offend you or hurt you. All I was trying to say is, you can be yourself, you can let your guard down, I'm not here to talk about what was, I'm not here to do you any harm, I just thought we could get together like old friends.”

Bella didn't move nor did she say a word.

“Remember what we used to have, remember how we were with one another?”

She did and that was the problem, when she saw him walk into her church, all sort's of emotions ran through her. She used to love this man standing in front of her and she believed he loved her too but their pasts, him being a drug dealer and her a hooker, didn't mix.

Bella sat down.

Ramsey sat down too. “So?”

“So?” Bella repeated. “What are you doing here?”

“I sort of do what you do,” he told her.

“How is that? Are you a minister?”

Ramsey laughed. “No, but I do help people change their lives.”

“Really? How?”

“I've started an organization called Changing Courses and Directions, where I speak to young men and women who are about to be released from prison and back into mainstream society.”

“Wow, I'm impressed.” Bella was sure he was excellent at what he was doing because even as a drug dealer, he had a way with the kids in the community. If it wasn't for the money that kept him in the game, she used to wonder if he'd be doing something else.

“What ever happened to Rock?”

“What do you think happened?”

“Is he in prison?”

“No, he's dead.”

This didn't surprise Bella because killers often get killed. She had to ask, “Did Rock kill Leon?”

“Yeah, he did.”

“Why didn't you tell me when I asked you before?”

“Because at the time I wasn't sure, but later he bragged on it.”

There was nothing Bella could say other than, “Isn't that something?”

“Yeah, and ultimately that's what got Rock killed, him bragging on his conquests.”

“Is that what made you change your life?”

“That and a few other things, but I will say Rock's getting killed made me realize that other than always having dough, he is also what kept me in the game, he was my boy and he saved my life a couple of times.” Ramsey reached across the table and lightly caressed Bella's face. “I was feeling you, Bella, more than I was anyone back then. It's just you know how we both were living.”

“Yeah, I know,” Bella responded.

“I didn't realize how much I missed you until I saw you standing in that pulpit,” Ramsey said.

Bella wanted to jump across the table and tongue him down but she knew she had to control this instinct and from that point on Bella was uncomfortable because sitting across from Ramsey made her realize that the inner struggle she was currently enduring wasn't going anywhere any time soon, no matter how much she prayed. Is that what being a pastor meant, that you have to give up on the possibilities?

On one hand, she was content with the direction her life was going in but on the other hand, she missed the freedom of possibilities. The possibility of a relationship without rules and the possibility of not being held to a higher standard, being able to mess up and it be all right.

When Bella and Ramsey ended their meal, it was obvious they both wanted to take it further but knew it wasn't an option.

They departed with the promise of seeing each other again.

 

 

That night when Bella arrived home, there were flowers at her door.
Who could have sent these?
she wondered.

She unlocked her door, put her purse down, bent over, picked up the flowers, and pulled the card out of the center of the arrangement. The flowers were from James. She closed the door behind her and read the card.
Here's to our night of passion,
it read
.

He can't be doing things like this.
Bella knew she was going to have to put an end to any ideas James had about them having a relationship. It wasn't going to happen, especially with Ramsey in town.

She wanted to see him on more than a “let's catch up” level. She came to this conclusion in the middle of their conversation. She liked him and enjoyed his company way back when and she enjoyed his company now.

As Bella headed toward her bedroom, there was a knock on the door.

Who could that be?
Bella didn't even bother to ask who it was, she just opened the door. It was James.

“What are you doing here?” Bella asked. His just showing up at her door, uninvited, and as though he knew she'd just arrived home, unnerved her.

“I just wanted to make sure you got the flowers.”

Bella couldn't believe he was actually standing here in front of her like it was kosher for him to pop up, like he was her man.

“What I'm asking is, what are you doing popping up uninvited?”

“I wanted to check on you. I called the church, I called your home phone and your cell, there was no answer anywhere, I was getting worried.”

Bella didn't know what to say. She started wondering if James was crazy. She looked into his eyes and tried to read what was there. Hell, some of her johns back in the day were maniacs and had stalker tendencies. She hoped she would be able to tell if something wasn't right in the head with James.

She determined there wasn't and knowing they needed to have a serious talk, she opened her door wider, moved to the side, and told him to “ome in.”

James followed her into the kitchen. She went to pour herself something to drink and he asked for something as well. She obliged.

“Let's sit down, we need to talk.” Bella led him to the table. She put their glasses down and just as she was about to sit, she could hear her cell phone ring.

She had left her purse in the living room with her cell phone in it. “I have to get that, I'll be right back.”

The second she was out of the kitchen, James looked around and once he knew she was away from the door, he reached inside his pocket and pulled out a small vial that had clear liquid inside. He poured the liquid into her glass and hurriedly placed the vial in his pocket. He then sat down like he wasn't doing anything and sipped his water.

When Bella returned, she started to drink her water as she said to him, “James, I know you care for me but as I told you before, we can't do this.” She went on and tried to let him down easy and to her surprise he accepted everything she said.

Fifteen minutes into the conversation Bella started feeling nauseous. “I don't feel well. I think I need to lie down.”

James stood up and took her hand. “I'll help you to your room and see myself out.”

 

 

The next morning when Bella woke up, she stretched and wondered how long she'd been asleep. Her body felt like she'd been sleeping for two or three days. She felt heavy.

Bella turned over and noticed that the space next to her looked like someone had slept there. She heard a noise coming from the bathroom and became frightened. She jumped out the bed and realized she was stark naked.

She grabbed her robe off the side of the bed and ran into the kitchen, where she grabbed a knife. She tiptoed back toward the bedroom. As she was on her way, James startled her by exiting the bedroom. She had the knife in the air.

James threw his arms up. “Whoa, whoa. What are you trying to do, kill me?”

Bella stood there with the knife still in the air. “What are you doing here and why am I naked?”

James backed away from Bella. “First, you need to put the knife down and second, you're naked because we made love last night.”

Bella lowered her arm. “I don't remember that happening. How come I don't remember?”

“I can't answer that,” James told her, “but I can say this, that doesn't make me feel good.”

Bella turned around to go into the kitchen with James behind her. She placed the knife on the counter and tried to recall last night's events. “The last thing I remember is me telling you, we couldn't see each other on an intimate level and you understanding and agreeing.” Bella knew she wasn't going insane.

“I don't recall any such thing, I remember me telling you I love you and your telling me you love me back.”

Now Bella knew those words would not have come out of her mouth. There was no way that happened, but how else could her being nude and his being in her house as though he stayed the night make any sense?

“James, I really don't remember that conversation and I think it's best if you leave right now. I have some things I need to sort through.”

“What is it you need to sort through? I'm clear on my feelings for you and what you expressed to me last night verbally and physically shows me that you're clear on your feelings as well.”

Bella started to become anxious. “James, please just leave.”

James stepped toward her and Bella reached for the knife.

James jumped back and told her, “I'm going to leave, but I'll be back.”

Bella watched him as he headed toward her bedroom. “Where are you going? I asked you to leave.”

“I'm collecting the rest of my things.”

“Oh, okay. I'll stay in here until you leave.” Bella stayed in the kitchen and didn't leave it until she heard the front door close.

It was then that she broke down.