Sins Brothers [1] Forgotten Sins (27 page)

Shane snorted. “You can’t fix everything.” He stood, stretching his neck. “I may not remember all of my childhood, but you, I remember. Always present, always trying to protect us.” His eyes darkened. “Thank you.”

Matt shook his head. He didn’t deserve the gratitude. Nathan had spent a lot more time raising Shane and Jory than he had. Besides, if he’d done his job, Jory would be alive. “I’m taking a shower.”

Shane stood and headed for the door. “I need some fresh air.”

Matt sighed. “We should get out of here. Your wife needs to get those files from her work tomorrow.”

Shane nodded, his back to Matt. “She will.”

Chapter 22

Shane sat on the rough porch step and threw rocks across the field, his mind spinning. Thunder rolled across the sky, a perfect match for his mood. Josie had meant the words—she really was finished with him. Maybe it was for the best.

The idea of losing her ripped him apart, and the thought of betraying his brothers sliced deep. Why would staying married betray his brothers? Because it added that much danger to all of them—especially to him. As brothers, they’d always been each other’s weak spots. He shook his head. This was all so fucked up.

The sky opened up, and rain slashed down.

Nathan stalked up from the forest, casting a large shadow. He’d been walking all day.

Shane stretched out his legs. Irritation heated through him. “Where the hell have you been?”

“Out.” Nathan glanced up at the clouds covering the moon. “My red-eye leaves in an hour, and I thought I’d grab my laptop.”

“Good idea,” Shane snapped.

Nathan lifted an eyebrow. “Is there something you’d like to say?”

“No.” Shane’s hands curled into fists.

Nathan stomped dirt off his boots, squishing wet leaves. “Out with it, Shane.”

Shane bounded to his feet and into the deluge. “My memories aren’t all the way back, but you’ve always been a bossy bastard, haven’t you?”

Nathan’s eyelids slowly rose, while his chin lowered. “Watch yourself, little brother. That head injury gives you some leeway, but not much.”

“Screw you.” Frustration needed an outlet, and Shane was looking at a good one.

Nathan slowly removed his coat, folded it, and set it inside the SUV, his gaze never leaving Shane. Rain matted his hair to his head. “What’s your fucking problem?” Curiosity, not heat, rode his deep voice.

Shane eyed his brother. “Oh, you’re so damn calm, so uncaring, aren’t you?” The instant flare in Nate’s eyes pleased him. Instinct told Shane just where to strike. “You can’t keep a woman, so nobody gets one? Really?”

Nathan smiled, and his fist shot out.

The right cross threw Shane against the porch railing. Satisfaction welled through him along with the pain. “That’s what I thought.” He ducked his head and charged his brother, hitting him in the midsection. Metal crunched when they crashed into the wet Jeep.

He shot a hard punch into Nate’s jaw.

Nate’s head snapped back, and he rolled them over, straddling Shane. Wet pine needles coated his neck. Two hard punches to the face, and Shane saw stars.

Damn it.

He shoved Nathan off and pushed to his feet, kicking Nate in the chest. His brother rolled backward and flipped to his feet.

Shane stepped back and then settled his stance.

Nate wiped blood off his mouth. “No matter how hard you hit, or how hard I hit you, the pain won’t go away. Deal with it.”

The ring of truth made Shane see red. He rushed forward in a tackle, and Nathan fell back, tossing him over his head. Shane twisted, turned, and moved to tackle again, only to run smack into Matt.

No expression sat on Matt’s hard face. Nathan spat blood on the leaves behind him.

Shane backed up. Rain drenched his clothes.“Get out of my way.”

Matt’s eyebrow rose. “Why? You’re mad at yourself, not at Nate.”

Nate stepped to the side. “That’s all right, Mattie. I don’t mind beating some sense into this jackass.”

Matt cut a hard look at Nate. “Knock it off.”

Nate faltered and then sighed. “Fine.”

Shane snarled. “Always the obedient soldier, aren’t you?”

The punch to the jaw from Matt caught him by surprise and hurt like hell. “I said, knock it off.” Matt nodded toward Nate. “Get your stuff, and get to the airport.”

Nate eyed Shane. “We can’t leave it like this.”

“We’ll deal with this later. For now, we’re under a deadline.” Matt turned back toward Shane. “Now, Nate.”

Grumbling, Nate turned and hustled toward the cabin.

Shane stepped to the side. He had to make his brother see reason. “Nate? This will all work out, you know.”

Nate slowly turned, a massive man standing in the rain, pure regret in his dark eyes. “We’ll go down fighting, Shane. That’s always been the plan.” He rubbed a hand through his hair, sending droplets flying.

“I know. We’ll win the fight,” Shane said.

Nate shook his head. “The fight ends bloody, and the fight ends sad. I’m sorry.” He moved into the cabin.

Shane frowned. “Is he right?”

Matt kicked a rock out of the way. “Probably.”

“He always does just what you say.” Was Nate a soldier or a brother?

Matt sighed. Emotion darkened his eyes. “Our childhood shapes us. Nate learned the hard way that orders matter—and that most things end bloody and sad.”

“Someday you’re going to have to explain that to me.”

Matt pinned Shane with a hard glare. “Fighting each other doesn’t help.”

Shane shuffled his feet. “He hit me first.”

Matt barked out a laugh. “We’re not teenagers. You’re fighting because you can’t figure out your life. And if you’re still standing, Nate seriously pulled his punches.”

So had Shane. “I know.” His chest hurt. He glanced down at his bloody knuckles. “Do you think he’s right? Does Josie make me weak?”

“Yes.” Matt shoved his hands in his pockets, allowing the rain to beat down on him. “And no.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Anybody you love is a weakness the commander will use. That’s how they kept us in line for so long—they used the threat of death over a brother.” Matt wiped rain off his face. “They’ll use Josie.”

Desperation felt like knives slicing his gut. “I can keep her safe.”

“Maybe. What about in three months when the chips activate?” Matt stepped wearily up the stairs. “Or when we finally find them and die taking them out?”

Shane stilled. “You don’t think we’ll find the code in time?”

Matt turned. “No. Where does that leave Josie then?” He shook his head. “Let her go, make her believe you’re letting her go so everyone else believes it, too. If you love her, you’ll let her find a life.” He opened the door. “We need to get to work now.” Slipping inside, he shut the door.

Shane stood in the rain, his thoughts swirling. What the hell was he going to do?

* * *

He’d left her alone. Given her space. While she’d slept in the big bed last night, Shane had worked with Matt on the computer. Trying to figure out where he’d been the last two years. Didn’t those men ever need sleep? Josie tapped her heel on the floorboard of her Toyota, refusing to look at her husband in the driver’s seat. God forbid he let her drive her own car.

A new hardness cut lines into the sides of his mouth. “We’ll go in and get the files, angel. Then we leave.”

She continued her study of the trees outside. She felt numb inside. “No. I have thirty clients, Shane. I need to work.” Especially since it now appeared her new life was permanent. Without him.

The SUV bounced along deep potholes. “I’m not completely unreasonable.” He ignored her snort of disbelief and continued, “I understand your job. If you need to finish up with your current clients, we can work something out.” Deep, sincere, and so full of compromise, his voice pissed her off beyond belief.

“We have nothing to work out.” Once he left, she’d be fine. And alone. So alone. She rubbed chilled arms.

“Listen, I’m trying to compromise here. If I had my way, you’d be secured at the cabin right this second. You said you needed to wrap things up at work, and I’m going against my instincts in agreeing.” Shane reached forward and flicked on the heater. He cleared his throat. “I actually remember my childhood. All of it.”

She stilled. “How?”

A masculine exhale filled the vehicle. “Matt. Once he started talking, memories came flooding back. So many.” His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “My first mission was to assassinate a drug dealer in New York.”

Her breath caught. Did she really want to know this? “How old were you?”

“Twelve.” His inflection didn’t change.

So young. Josie straightened her shoulders. She wouldn’t feel sorry for him. “Did you?”

“Yes.”

She didn’t want the details. “Oh. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Shit, no.” His voice softened. “There are things you shouldn’t know. Things I can protect you from. Please let me.”

The entreaty from such a strong man tempted her far too much. Though the pedestal he wanted to trap her on wasn’t a good fit. “I can’t be the helpless girl you want hiding behind you.” The scenario wasn’t what he needed, either. “I’m sorry.”

He sighed. “I trained you to fight, darlin’. Of course I don’t want you helpless.” His grip tightened. “Speaking of which… why haven’t you kept up the training?”

“I didn’t want to.” She wanted to live peacefully, and there was only so much time in the day. It was either yoga or karate… and she’d chosen peace.

“Your training will continue starting tomorrow.”

“No, it won’t.” He had lost his place in her life and didn’t get to dictate any of it. She folded her hands in her lap. “Do you remember where you’ve been the last two years?”

His arms stretched out, showcasing solid biceps and granite hard muscles. “No. Matt’s going to try some deep relaxation methods with me tonight.”

Deep relaxation? “You mean, like hypnotism?” Was Matt a psychologist?

“Yeah, something like that. Our training in interrogation includes more than dishing out pain.” Shane turned from the dirt road onto asphalted county road. “Methods exist to get information from friends as well as enemies.”

She cleared her throat. “So, ah, interrogation. A specialty of yours, right?” Darn her curiosity. The thought was so far out of her realm of experience, and somehow, even though she wasn’t proud about it, the thought of Shane being so tough intrigued her.

He shook his head. “Don’t romanticize the idea.” Thunder rolled high above them. “ ‘Interrogation’ is a military euphemism for torture.” He sighed. “And yeah, I’m good at it.”

“Why did you marry me?” Her lungs seized. She hadn’t meant to ask that question.

The empty road before them kept his gaze. “You made me believe I could have a life. A good one. Someday.” He turned his head, his eyes a stormy gray. “The idea of not marrying you hurt more than any pain I’d ever felt.” He glanced back at the road, the profile of his rugged face so strong. So enduring. “I don’t think you’re weak, sweetheart. I think you’re kind… and good.” He shifted in his seat.

So much longing. Something in her broke free. With her words the day before, she’d wanted to hurt him. Not only that, she’d needed to know that she could hurt him—that she mattered that much to him. How screwed up was that? “I don’t think I can try again.”

His lip twisted. “I know. But always remember that you’re strong, baby. So strong.” He pulled onto the interstate toward the city. “Steel wrapped in flower petals.”

His acceptance hurt, even with such sweet words. Too bad they were way too late. Plus, the man didn’t make sense. “Then why do you try so hard to stand in front of me?”

He whirled toward her, his hands sure on the wheel, his speed steady. “Because you’re mine.” His dark hair flew when he shook his head. “I’ve never had much, but what I do have, I protect. With everything I am.” He focused back on the road. “Even if we’re not together.”

Holy crap. He was agreeing to leave her. The hurt almost doubled her over—even though that’s what she wanted. She shook her head. Too much to deal with right now.

Shane exited the highway, driving toward her building downtown. He pulled into the lot and cut the engine. “What are the rules today?”

How irritating. “Don’t speak to me like I work for you. I don’t.”

He licked his lips, wiping the bottom one off with his thumb and forefinger.

Heat swirled in her abdomen. She fought a groan.

He pinned her with a hard gaze. “This isn’t a job. If you can’t do this right, if you can’t follow my lead, we’ll go back to the cabin.”

“Don’t threaten me.” She turned to grab the door handle, stopping only when he wrapped one hand around her upper arm.

He yanked her across the seat to settle on his legs. “My way. No other choice.” His hand tightened, and his voice roughened. “Agree or we go.” He cupped her cheek with his free hand, holding her in place on his lap, his Southern drawl breaking free.

A soldier’s intensity filled the cab. She met his gaze, biting her lip to keep from speaking. As patient as any stalking predator, he waited. She knew him. He could and would wait all day. Struggling would be a useless endeavor. “Fine.”

His cheek creased as if he might smile. “What are the rules today?”

He drove her crazy. She rolled her eyes. “We go to my office. I meet with clients in my office. I don’t leave my office unless you’re with me.”

“Where will I be?”

“Either in my office or in the waiting area if I’m meeting with a client.”

“Good.” His drawl deepened. “What happens if you disregard any of these rules?”

Enough of this crap. “Well, last time I followed my own path, I ended up stumbling over a dead body with a rabid jerk breaking down Sheetrock to get to me. So I’d rather not think about it.”

Shane’s long fingers caressed the side of her face. “Ah, Josie. That’s nothing compared to what you’ll face from me if you put yourself in danger again.”

She shivered with desire. From any other man the threat would be silly, but from Shane. Well now. Sexual. Damn if her panties didn’t moisten in response. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He tugged her out of the driver’s side, keeping her tucked against his body through the lot and to the elevator. Once at her floor, he followed her to her office, dropping onto a guest chair. “Why don’t you hand me the Fuller Lab files?”