Simply Sinful (5 page)

Abby finished her tea and scanned the remaining pages of the book. In her quest to understand the notion of love and the mechanics of reproduction, she had scoured the library. Unfortunately, there seemed to be little information available that hadn’t been written by men for men. There was certainly nothing in the latest book to alter her original opinion that Doctor Frederick and most men were fools.

Even though she had never enjoyed coupling with James, she had experienced pleasure by herself. It could not be true that all women simply endured or else marriage as an institution would surely have foundered a long time ago.

She placed the book on her writing desk and went to find her shawl. Outside the bow window, the rolling lawns of Beecham Hall flowed down toward the ornamental lake. Beds of blue-bells and narcissi added their strident colors to present a picture of pastoral perfection. Spring was in the air, and even Abby felt the sap rising through her veins.

It would be a beautiful place to bring up a child. James had told her many stories of his younger days before she joined the household at the age of eleven. She pictured herself walking down to the lake, a chubby-faced child clinging to her hand.

With a sigh she turned away from the enticing view. If James didn’t contact her soon, she would have to devise another plan to give him an heir whether he wanted one or not.

When she opened the door and walked down the narrow corridor toward the main hall, she heard a dog bark. Her heart gave an excited leap and she picked up her pace. By the time she entered the medieval hall, her husband stood there, handing his cloak and hat to the smiling butler. His dogs milled around his highly polished boots, yapping with excitement.

She paused and simply stared at his fashionable figure. Of all things, she hadn’t expected to see him in person. She’d anticipated his rejection in a letter and had braced herself for disappointment. If he had decided to leave the delights of the Season merely to come down and speak to her, something must have changed.

When he swung around and saw her, he smiled and opened his arms.

“Abby cat.”

She ran to him and closed her eyes as he locked her in a tight embrace. His familiar cinnamon scent enveloped her, and she leaned into him. Despite everything, it was good to have him home.

The instant Peter stepped into the building, he knew Valentin had returned. The office hummed with purpose. Even Anthony sat at his allocated desk and appeared to be working. Peter nodded a greeting to Taggart and hastened to his office to hang up his cloak and hat.

To his surprise, Valentin was already ensconced in his chair. Peter grimaced as he spied his old friend.

“I know. I’m late. I had a rather riotous night.”

He’d left Madame Helene’s at six that morning after his long night with James. They’d spent hours talking interspersed with the most intense sexual encounters of his life. Something about James’s honesty appealed to Peter. It was rare to meet a man who was so comfortable about his sexuality, a man who’d had the courage to discuss his needs with his wife and remain her friend.

Valentin stubbed out his cigar. “I’m not your father. You don’t need to explain yourself to me.”

Peter paused as he approached the desk. “Then why do I feel as if I have to? And why are you sitting at my desk with your feet up? Is there something wrong with your own office?”

Valentin chuckled. “Now who sounds like a parent? Which question would you like me to answer first?”

Peter studied his friend. Despite the shadows under Valentin’s extraordinary violet eyes, he looked his usual dapper self. His long dark hair was tied neatly at the nape of his neck with a black ribbon, and his blue coat looked as if it had just left the hands of his tailor.

“Is there something wrong?” Peter repeated the question, his gaze fixed on Valentin’s face. “When I left the office yesterday, everything seemed to be fine.”

Valentin made a dismissive gesture. “The business is running perfectly. Taggart gave me your latest letter this morning. I understand the bank has proved amenable to our loan requests and that financially we are stable for the foreseeable future.”

Peter dropped into the chair in front of his desk. “Then why are you here? I wasn’t expecting to see you for at least another two weeks.”

Valentin’s eyebrows rose. “Am I not welcome, then?”

For a brief second, Peter closed his eyes. Sometimes talking to Valentin was like straying into a maze.

“Val…”

“This is not about the business. It is something more personal.” Valentin got up and began to pace the worn floor-boards.

Had Val already heard rumors about Peter and Lord Beecham? It seemed unlikely, but Peter knew Val had excellent sources. Sudden doubt assailed him. What if James Beecham had been lying after all and had spent the morning Peter slept away gossiping to the polite world about Peter’s sexuality?

Val cast him a speculative look. “What’s the matter, Peter? You look guilty. What have you been up to while I was away?” He stopped pacing and clasped his hands behind his back.

Peter concentrated on appearing relaxed. and keeping his mouth shut He was unlikely to fool Val, who had seen him in every extremity, but he was determined to make the effort. Val swung back round to face him.

“It’s Sara.”

Peter sat up straight. “Something’s wrong with Sara?” No wonder Val was agitated. His wife was the center of his world.

Val’s answering smile was crooked. “There is nothing wrong with her, but she is in an ‘interesting condition’.”

“Sara’s pregnant?”

Peter shot to his feet and drew Valentin into a close embrace. For once his friend didn’t resist. When Peter drew back he studied Val’s face.

“Aren’t you pleased?”

“Of course I’m pleased.” Val’s arrogant expression softened. “In truth, I’m ecstatic. Sara’s not feeling quite so thrilled at the moment. She’s unwell.”

“I hear that’s usual in the early months.”

Valentin looked quizzical. “And you know that how?”

Peter sat back down. “Women talk to me about everything. Apparently I have a sympathetic face.”

Val snorted as he leaned up against the desk, his troubled gaze still fixed on Peter.

“What is it, Val?” Peter leaned forward and touched Valentin’s knee. He pretended not to notice his friend move away. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”

“It’s about us.”

Peter sat back and crossed his legs. “By ‘us’ I assume you mean you, me and Sara?”

“I haven’t spoken to Sara about this yet, so please don’t blame her. This is purely my decision.”

“You want me to stay away from your bed.”

Val held his gaze. “Yes.”

“Do you think I might hurt Sara or the baby?”

“Christ, no!”

Peter’s gut clenched as though Val had physically hit him. It was an effort to get up and walk to the door. After his night with James, and James’s willing acceptance of his lovemaking, Val’s sudden hypocrisy made him want to retch.

“Get out of my office, Val. And give my best to Sara.”

“If you will just listen…”

“I don’t think so. You’ve always been reluctant to allow me into your bed. And this gives you a perfect opportunity to sever that connection permanently.” He opened the door. “I’ve decided to take a few weeks off. I suggest you leave Anthony in charge if you can’t be here yourself. He shows every sign of becoming as ruthless in business as you are.”

Valentin moved in front of him, his voice low and fierce. “Don’t do this. Don’t make this into something it’s not.”

Peter smiled. “But that’s me all over isn’t it, Val? I used to believe that you loved only me once and look what a mess that got us into. Perhaps this is for the best.”

“Peter, for God’s sake, I…”

Peter shoved Val over the threshold, stepped back and carefully shut the door in his best friend’s face. He turned the key and remained braced against it until Val’s footsteps faded into the distance. Finally he allowed his legs to fold and sank down onto the floor.

Hell and Damnation. What was wrong with him? He’d fully intended to accept Valentin’s dismissal with his usual good grace and humor, but he hadn’t been able to muster such a positive response. Val was perfectly within his rights to ask Peter to stop visiting his bed. In truth, Peter would have offered to do so.

So why did he feel so betrayed? It all came back to his early dependency on Val. They’d been lovers until Peter realized Val was only tolerating him and much preferred women. Val had never admitted that he needed Peter. Peter had long suspected that Val’s invitation to join him and Sara in bed had originated in a desire to please his wife rather than a true acknowledgement of his real nature.

Was it time to break the intimate circle and move on? Peter thought about James Beecham and the unexpected strength of his feelings for this unknown man. He raised his head and stared at his desk. He owed his life to Val and would do anything for his friend. Perhaps it was time to make the ultimate sacrifice and let his best friend go.

Abby waited until James’s valet had left before she ventured into his bedroom. He greeted her with a smile and a kiss on her hand. She settled herself in one of the wing chairs beside the fire and accepted a glass of port.

James looked well. The dark green satin of his robe accentuated the darkness of his hair and eyes. He sat opposite her and warmed his big, capable hands in the firelight. She tucked her bare feet underneath her as the port settled in her stomach.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

He raised his eyebrows. “After the letter you wrote me?”

She glanced down at the ruby-red swirl of her port. “I feel foolish for even writing it now.”

“Don’t be. I’ve always admired your ability to get right to the point.” He studied her face. “Unless you have changed your mind?”

To gain time, Abby sipped at her port. “No, I’d still like a child, but it was stupid of me to try to force your hand.”

He smiled at her, displaying the dimple on his chin. “I’m not sure it was my hand you were trying to force. My cock, perhaps?”

She spluttered as port went up her nose. “James!”

His expression sobered and he reached out to stroke her bare foot. “Abby, I thought I’d take a leaf out of your book and be as direct and honest as I can. I came down here specifically to discuss it with you. Will you hear me out?”

He refilled their glasses and added another log to the fire. Something was bothering him. Young Abby would’ve dreaded the conversation to come, while her newly determined older self welcomed the chance to express her opinion. Sometimes, James still treated her like a child. After fifteen years of marriage perhaps it was time for him to realize she had grown up.

“Firstly, I want to be sure that this is what you want and not something my mother has pushed you into.”

She held his gaze. “Your mother is desperate for me to conceive but I’m not doing it for her. I’m doing it for myself.”

He nodded as if satisfied. “I want you to be happy, Abby cat. You have given up a lot for me, and I’m grateful.”

She shifted uneasily in her seat. Despite having been married for so long, it was more difficult than she imagined having such an intimate conversation with her husband. He drew an audible breath before facing her again.

“I have met a man.”

Abby’s stomach gave an uncomfortable flip. “Does that mean you no longer wish to be with me?”

“On the contrary. I believe this man may be the solution to both our problems.” He sat forward. “He has experience pleasuring both sexes. I hope that he will teach us how to deal better with each other in bed.”

Abby shivered as she recalled their last desperate attempts at coupling. Surely anything would be better than that. She put her glass down on the small table beside her. “Are you suggesting he shares our bed?”

“I know it sounds ridiculous, but yes.”

“Has he already shared yours?”

He met her question head on, no shame in his eyes. “Yes, but he doesn’t prefer men. He sleeps with women too.”

“And do we have to pay him to perform for us?”

James frowned. “He’s not a prostitute. He’s a respectable businessman.” He swallowed the rest of his drink in one gulp. “I had to work damned hard even to get him to talk to me. He doesn’t go around advertising his unusual sexuality any more than I do.”

Abby already knew the dangers James faced every time he embarked on a relationship with another man. If discovered, sodomites could still be put to death in the most horrific manner.

She stared into the fire. James’s suggestion sounded preposterous. Let a complete stranger into their bed and willingly share the inadequacy of their sexual relationship? But if she truly wanted a child…

James came down on one knee in front of her and grasped her hands.

“Look, Abby, this isn’t just about having a child. If Peter can help you enjoy sex, I’ll accept it, even if it means you can’t accept me. At least then you’ll be free to choose another lover without my failures as a husband dragging you down.”

She touched his unshaven cheek. He really did love her in his way. She was luckier than many of her peers. The insatiable curiosity her mother had always claimed would be her downfall surged through her veins.

“Ask your Peter if he wishes to visit us this weekend. And then we will see.”

5

“A
nthony, there’s nothing wrong. I’m simply taking some time off. Valentin is just as capable of handling the business as I am.”

Peter continued to scribble notes to Taggart as Anthony roamed his office. His expression was troubled, which emphasized his likeness to his half brother. He picked up a ledger and then set it down with a thump.

“Is it something I’ve done? Are you simply sick of the sight of me?”

Peter looked up. “On the contrary, I’ve recommended to Valentin that he allow you to run the London end of the business.”

Anthony blushed. “You did?”

Peter tried not to smile at his young protégé’s reaction. Because of events of years past, his relationship with Anthony was almost as complex as his relationship with Valentin.