Simply Sex (23 page)

Again, she considered the possibility of staying in Phoenix, keeping K. Falls PR going. She could work on contract with S-Mickey-B, discount her rate to compensate for any inconvenience she’d cause….

She became aware that Janie was looking at her.

“Something wrong?” Janie asked.

“No,” she said, trying to smile. “I’m just worrying.”

“It’ll be fine. You said yourself we nailed the interviews.”

“It’s not the news piece.”

“Oh, no.” She groaned loudly. “You’re worrying about Seth and me. Just stop, Kylie Rachel. I’m happy. Really. This is different. I know it is.”

“Take things slow, okay? Don’t do anything drastic.”

Janie put her arms around Kylie and delivered a bruising hug. “I know what I’m doing.”

It was true that she’d never seen Janie look so sure before, but it was too soon to tell. And she’d be too far away to help.

The phone rang and Gail left the sofa to grab it. “Personal Touch, can I help you…? Marco? Hon, get outside, get some air. You’re spending a fortune on these calls. Sign with Personal Touch and you’ll bank cash. I swear… What? No, you don’t have to lose fifty pounds. We have zaftig women. You prefer what? Now, now. We don’t discriminate based on weight, so neither should you.”

Kylie smiled at Janie. Gail was a great saleswoman. If things went well, Janie would have her do sales full-time.

“I wish Seth would get here. I miss him already. Can you believe that? I never
missed
a guy before.”

This was bad. Dangerous. She’d really get hurt this time. “Just be careful. Please.”

“Oh, relax. I should have invited Cole—given you something to do besides worry about me. He’s called three times to check on you.”

“I’m fine. It’s over. Why drag it out?” Because Kylie was dying to see him. Each time he’d called, she’d itched to say,
Yes,
please
come over. Support me, comfort me, hold my hand, make me feel better about every little thing.
Pure weakness on her part.

“What are you afraid of, Kylie?” Janie asked gently.

“Everything,” Kylie said on a moan. “Half the time I think I’ll just stay in Phoenix.”

“Really? You’re considering that? Oh, that would be great!”

“I’m scared it’s for the wrong reasons.”

“Because of Cole? Would that be so bad?”

“It would be terrible. It’s not healthy to need anyone that much. You of all people should understand that.”

“You think that was my problem? Needing the guy too much?” Janie shook her head. “I chose the wrong guys to need. I picked the ones who weren’t really there. People who love each other need each other, Kylie. Not for survival, of course, and not to the point of losing their identity, but that’s what it’s about—sharing it all—the blues, the wins, all that for-better-for-worse jazz. You don’t get a medal for doing it on your own. Life’s a team sport.”

“You say that now because it’s new and exciting. You’re forgetting how miserable you get. Lost and so very sad. I hate seeing you that way.” She felt the knot of fear, the bubble of nausea rise up.
Please don’t get hurt.

“I know you do and I appreciate your concern. Maybe it won’t work out, but it’s worth it to see. Sometimes life hurts. I know you want to save me from every toe stub, but I can handle it, I promise. I do know how to breathe.”

“I guess,” she said. She let Janie’s words sink in. Maybe she had been too much of a big sister to Janie. Kylie thought about that photo Cole had admired on her window ledge where she’d practically choked poor Janie with her protective death grip. “I remember when you were so shy in fifth grade and you squeezed my hand looking up at me with eyes big as moons, asking me to make it all right.”

Janie chuckled. “Hon, that’s not what I was thinking. I was thinking, ‘You love me so much.’ I didn’t need you to make it right. I just needed you to love me. I could handle my life and the pain when it came.”

Kylie stared at her sister, reframing the moment in light of what she’d said. Maybe Kylie should have trusted her sister more to be okay on her own. Certainly now. She was a grown woman. Mature and sensible…and madly in love. But was she safe?

“The person who needs you is Cole,” Gail said abruptly. She’d finished with Marco the Masturbator and was back on the bench.

“Why do you say that?”

“Here.” She thrust the bowl of caramel corn at Kylie and bounded over to the video racks, where she grabbed a tape and popped it into the VCR. “See for yourself.” She pushed play and Kylie watched as Cole flickered into view in his Close-Up, with his crookedly rolled-up sleeves, his awkward posture and nervous smile.

Before she could point out she’d already seen it, Gail pushed fast forward and stopped at a spot Kylie hadn’t seen. Here the camera showed a much sweatier, more miserable Cole slumped on the stool.

“Go deeper,” came Gail’s muffled voice.

Cole wiped his brow with an extended arm, then blew out a breath. “Deeper? Okay…I guess sometimes I feel a little…empty. I wonder what I’m working so hard for. I want to help the clients and the firm, I want financial security and prestige, but at some point it’s just money. I want to be working
for
something—some
one,
I guess.” He shrugged, then seemed to sit up straighter.

“Here’s what I want—to open my eyes Sunday mornings smiling into the face of the woman I love. I want to read interesting bits out of the paper to her and sing songs to her in the shower, get her opinion on everything from what tie goes with what shirt to global economics.

“I want a woman who’ll help me sort it out and do it right. Someone I can laugh with…hell, someone I can just stare at the TV with. This sounds stupid. Stop the tape, please.”

Gail complained, then the tape went black.

“Holy Hannah,” Janie said. “Why didn’t you show me this, Gail? I might have thought twice about Deborah with Cole. She’s not soft enough for him.”

Kylie took a bite of crunchy corn and chewed slowly, the sweet warmth filling her mouth the way Cole’s words eased through her thoughts. He needed her. He’d said as much when he told her he loved her. And she’d blown him off in a panic, not heard, not listened.

The picture of them together on Sunday with twin papers rose in her head, Comedy Central in the background.
You can rest here. Just be.
The idea was so glorious it took her breath away. She’d closed her eyes to the possibility, thrown up barriers—the ghost of Deborah, Cole’s laundry list of corporate wife characteristics, her move to L.A., her relentless ambition.

But it was all just smoke, she realized, looking at his dear face on the video. This was real. This was what counted. Cole needing her. And her needing him.

“What are you afraid of, Kylie Rachel?” Janie asked softly.

Tears sprang to her eyes and for once she just let them roll. “I don’t know. My own heart, I think.”

Janie put her arms around her with a sad smile, new authority in her eyes. “It’s the hurt, sweetie. You’ve always been scared of it. You used to drag me all over town whenever we moved to exorcise the pain, remember? The minute I’d pull out the photo album to remember my friends, to just feel my love for them—and my grief—you’d whip me out of there to a water park or a bike ride or to a movie.
New adventures, new fun, new friends.
That was your mantra.”

Janie was right. Her sister was much wiser than Kylie had ever given her credit for.

“But it made you feel better, didn’t it?”

“Not really. You made me feel better by loving me, by being there for me, by looking at me like you’d rather die than see me hurt or sad.”

“Oh, Janie,” she said and hugged her back harder than she’d ever done before, really feeling it now—her love, the old worry for Janie and her health and her heart. It hurt like hell. But it also made her feel fully alive.

“You have to change, Kylie Rachel.” Janie leaned back to look into her eyes.

In the background, she heard Gail sniff. Her bracelets rattled as she reached across Janie to grab some corn.

“You can’t run away from love because you might get hurt,” Janie continued. “That’s my lesson, too. All my analyses and inventories can’t guarantee a relationship will succeed. Only the people involved can do that. With faith and work and love.”

Janie looked at her and Kylie looked back, the words reverberating inside her, reaching deep to her very soul.

“Kylie? You okay?” Janie asked. “You look like you broke a tooth.”

“That’s just me seeing the light. It hurts a little.”

“Thank goodness.”

“If you need a dentist, though, I have a good one,” Gail said. “Divorced sister you could maybe talk into becoming a client.”

Kylie and Janie just laughed, looking into each other’s eyes. Love hurt, Kylie knew, but it also healed. And it was what mattered most in the world. She loved her sister. She loved her life and her work. And she loved Cole.

So much she’d scared herself away. But no more. She had to talk to him. Judging from her sister, love was worth the risk.

It would have to wait for the news, which was about to start. And maybe she had a better idea for how to do this….

He couldn’t imagine anything worse. “Thanks, but you’d better deactivate my file for a year or so. I’m not ready.” He wondered if he ever would be.

“Listen, the truth is, Cole, I need a favor. We’ve been swamped since the news story aired and the new receptionist misbooked somebody. We need you to stand in for a guy…just this once.”

He’d seen the follow-up newscast, which had made Personal Touch look like the answer to every dating dilemma. The kiss-ass piece screamed,
Please don’t sue us!
to his attorney mind, but he’d been relieved for Janie, since he’d been partly the cause of the scandal.

“You want me as a stand-in date? The last time you did this, all hell broke loose.” He’d fallen in love with his stand-in and gotten his heart broken so hard it seemed permanently wrecked.

“This is an emergency. Besides, if I know you, you’ve been working too hard all week and you need a break. It’s Friday night, Cole.”

The truth was that lately, he’d been pretty balanced, leaving the office most nights by seven. He and Trisha had agreed to work as a team, bent on proving they could be successful and still have lives. But that didn’t mean he wanted a Friday night date.

“I have a dog waiting for me,” he said. He’d gone straight from returning Radar to his neighbor to a Cairn breeder and gotten Lulu, a sweet ball of furry energy that soothed his pain.

“I’m sure your dog wouldn’t begrudge you a few laughs over a quick dinner. Can’t a neighbor watch it?”

She could. “I’d rather not ask.”

“It’s just a dinner. I swear you won’t be sorry.”

“Janie…”

“Consider it a personal favor to me. Which you owe me after you almost lost me my company, remember? You don’t want me to burst into tears, do you?”

“No, I don’t.” She was laying it on thick, but he did owe her. His affair with Kylie had taught him the importance of balance. And the power of love.

He wanted to ask about Kylie…was she liking L.A.? Was she happy? But that would only hurt. Instead, he gave in and said, “Where and when and what’s her name?”

“You’ll be glad you went. Trust me.”

He did trust her. She knew what she was doing. The woman she’d selected for him—Deborah—had been his perfect match. She just hadn’t been Kylie.

In an hour, he sat at the same restaurant where he’d met Kylie—a painful irony—waiting for a medium-height brunette named Kay. For old time’s sake, he’d sat at the same table and ordered a martini. He half expected to see Kylie dash in, rumpled and ink-smeared and dripping with chocolate mint.

And Kay was late, which annoyed him more. He wanted to get back to Lulu…and moping.

“Sorry I’m late.”

At the familiar voice, his gaze shot up to find Kylie looking down at him. He lunged to his feet, making his chair scrape against the floor. “Kay” was obviously “K.” Jane was something else.

Air crackled around her and men watched her like the first time, but she only had eyes for him. A loose dress danced around her body like the mischief dancing in her eyes, still the shiniest he’d ever seen. Mischief and something else that stopped his heart.

Love.

“No problem,” he said, struggling to control his voice and his hopes. “In my experience, the best dates start a little late.”

“I’m sorry to inform you that your date couldn’t make it tonight,” Kylie said, moving closer. “Will I do?”

“Absolutely.” She was the song in his heart, the light in his life, just as Gail had described her husband. He hauled her close and kissed her deeply, surprised at how fiercely she returned the embrace. This was new. This was strong. He realized with happy relief that she’d been holding back all along. Right now she was squeezing him so tightly she might have a cracked rib.

She broke off the kiss and looked at him with eyes hot with love. “Cole.” She seemed to taste the word on her tongue. “How did that sound?”

“Like you love me.” She’d said his name as if her life depended on him. He wanted it to.

“I want to wake up Sunday mornings smiling into your eyes.”

Where had she got that…? From his video. “Hell, I thought I told Gail to erase that part.”

“I loved it, Cole. Every desperate and embarrassing word.”

“Then I guess I made that tape for you.”

“We need each other,” she said. “To do it right. To know when it’s time for
Friday Night Stand-Up
or at least to tape it for watching later. To know when to order Mexican food.”

“Whenever I smell frying lard, I long for you.” He was so happy he wanted to whoop out loud.

“I was thinking maybe we could get a dog?”

“Already done. Lulu. She could be Radar’s twin. I’m training her to deposit her opinions outside, however. What about L.A., Kylie?”

“I’m staying here. Keeping K. Falls PR. I’ll do contract work for S-Mickey-B, but I don’t need some big firm to validate my abilities. You helped me see that. I’ll still have travel and I won’t have much time for charity balls or volunteer boards of directors or—”

“Who cares? I’ll be too busy planting your garden. How do you feel about decorative cabbage? And you’ll be taking more baths. Long, long, hot baths. And not alone.”

Kylie looked into Cole’s eyes and for the first time let herself accept his love. She didn’t shut down after a few scary seconds. She took it in and let it swirl through her, despite the fear, the risk, the worry.

Since her talk with Janie, Kylie had let herself slow down, let in the world and her reactions to it. It wasn’t easy and it involved some pain, but it also made life more vivid. And nothing was more vivid to her than the love she felt for Cole.

“I was scared to love you, scared it wouldn’t work out. Janie helped me see that.”

“I told you she was wise.”

“Yeah.” She’d begun to see Janie’s business through new eyes, too, and had some innovative promotion ideas to go with it. Though Janie hardly needed help. The rebuttal news piece had gone so well, the phone was ringing off the hook with new clients.

She no longer saw Personal Touch as silly and desperate and sickeningly romantic. It was sweet and serious and sturdy with hope. For every sappy song playing overhead, Janie had a sensible file folder with compatibility scores. Head in the clouds, feet on the ground. That was how Janie approached love. And it was how Kylie would approach it, too.

“Help me be brave, okay?” she said to Cole.

“I’ll consider it my life’s quest,” he said, his eyes twinkling. “Along with making you happy. And making you the best chile relleno you’ve ever tasted.”

“Are you sure?”

“You’re a self-starter and a team player, right?”

They laughed together, the sound like magic, like heaven. There were no guarantees, as Janie said, but they had faith and work and love. Tons of that.

Then they kissed and she became vaguely aware of applause. They separated and found three waiters clustered around their table with the small candlelit cake she’d requested.

“What’s this?” Cole said, his eyes shining with love and surprise.

“Our anniversary—one-month to the day that we had our mistake date.”

“Best mistake I ever made,” Cole said.

Together they leaned over and blew out the candle. And Kylie knew without guessing that their wishes were a perfect match.