Authors: Nancy Mehl
Susan took a bite of her chicken. Her eyes widened with surprise. “Oh my goodness,” she said after swallowing. “This is the best fried chicken I’ve ever had. Even better than my grandmother’s.”
“Not bad for a greasy spoon, huh?” I said with a wink.
She smiled. “Sorry about that. I’ve been so upset all day. When I got to Harmony, I was looking for someone to unload on. Then I saw the way the people dressed, and for some reason it made me even angrier. I don’t know why.” She stared past me for a few moments. “I—I guess I was mad at God, and seeing these people … well, I decided to take it out on them.”
“But then you met Abel and Emily.”
“But then I met Abel and Emily,” she repeated softly. “The love of God just flowed out of them, and I knew I didn’t feel what they felt. My relationship with God wasn’t like theirs. It confused me.” She studied me closely. “I really do want to talk to you about this situation with Hannah, but to be honest, I think I searched you out because I knew I needed help. I couldn’t talk to the Muellers since I’m investigating them. But they said so many wonderful things about you, as did several other people I spoke to, I just knew somehow you were the person I could reach out to.”
I put my fork down. “Well, I’m not sure why anyone would be saying nice things about me. I’m the one who took Hannah to Wichita. That trip seemed to set this whole thing off.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I spoke with the Vogler boy … Jonathan? He said Hannah was on her way to see him when she disappeared.”
My mouth dropped open. “Wait a minute. Do you mean she was only going to meet with Jonathan? She wasn’t running away?”
Susan shook her head. “No. According to Jonathan, she wanted to show him her new outfit, and they were going to try to figure out what she should do next. But she never said anything to him about leaving home before school was over.”
My heart dropped to my feet. “Sheriff Taylor talked to Jonathan, but the boy didn’t tell him that Hannah was going to meet him that night.”
“I know. Jonathan said he was afraid of the sheriff so he kept that to himself. But when I talked to him myself, he came clean because he’s so worried about her.”
“Oh Susan. I’ve been trying to tell Pat that she didn’t run away, but he wouldn’t believe me. You know about the woman in Topeka who was found dead?”
Susan nodded and took a bite of her mashed potatoes. “Wow, delicious.” She pointed her fork at me. “Yes, the story’s all over the news. Why? Do you think Hannah’s disappearance is related?”
“I don’t know, but I think it’s possible.”
Susan seemed to mull over this information. “It sounds like Hannah’s case should be carefully investigated.”
I agreed with her, even more convinced that Hannah could be in serious trouble. We ate quietly for a while until I broke the silence.
“Susan, I’d like to ask you a question.”
She nodded.
“It’s about the reason you came to Harmony.”
“Well, we almost always follow up complaints filed by someone in the community.”
“Can you tell me who called you about Hannah?”
She shook her head. “Sorry, that’s confidential. I will tell you that it’s someone who claims to know the family.”
I frowned at her. “I’ll bet anything it was Esther Crenshaw. Just so you know, Esther’s a busybody who’s always causing trouble.”
She didn’t confirm my suspicions, but a quick look of recognition at Esther’s name told me everything I needed to know.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “I intend to report that there’s no evidence of any kind of abuse. Right now, I’m more concerned about this serial killer thing.”
“Me, too. Is there anything you can do to get someone to take Hannah’s disappearance more seriously?”
She chewed and swallowed another bite of chicken. “I think so. We work with the KBI frequently. Let me see if I can get someone to look into it.”
I reached across the table and squeezed her arm. “Oh thank you, Susan. I’m so grateful.”
She shrugged. “You save my soul, I ask someone to take a closer look into a missing child case. Seems fair.”
“I didn’t actually save your soul, but at this point, I’ll take any help I can get.”
We both laughed. I focused on my food, and Susan did the same. Between bites, she told me how she’d gotten involved with helping children. Her own childhood had been anything but ideal. Even as a little girl, she’d dreamed of helping other children escape the pain she’d endured. I knew that many abused children have a hard time trusting a God who calls Himself a Father if their earthly father was cruel. Susan’s road wasn’t going to be easy, but I truly believed she would be okay. Now that she and God were walking together, He could bring real healing and restoration into her life. Beauty for ashes. I purposed in my heart to keep her in my daily prayers. Sometimes healing can be painful. Facing our fears isn’t always easy.
After scooping up my last juicy bite of apple, I asked, “So what will you do about your husband and your friend?”
She rested her chin on her hand and stared at me. “I have no idea, but I think I’ll take some time off work and get away by myself for a while. God and I need to spend some quality time together. If I immerse myself in His presence, and in His Word, maybe I’ll know what to do next.”
“Do you mind if I ask you how you found out your husband was cheating?”
“No, I don’t mind.” She looked down at her plate. I got the feeling she was trying to screw up her courage. “My supposed friend came to me and told me about it. She insisted I give Brad up. She tried to convince me that it was God’s will. That they’re supposed to be together, and that our marriage is a mistake they’re trying to correct.”
“Susan, God doesn’t work that way. He doesn’t condone adultery, and He hates divorce.”
She frowned at me. “So if I decide to leave my husband, God will hate me?”
Her question hurt me down deep inside. “Absolutely not. God will never, ever hate you. Never. It’s not possible. He loves you, and He’ll love you every single day of your life. No matter what you do.”
“But does He want me to stay with Brad?”
“I can’t answer that. I’m sure God will heal your marriage if that’s what you both want. But God doesn’t expect you to stay in an adulterous relationship. If you want to stay, I guess it’s going to be up to Brad.”
Susan was quiet, and I felt I should also be silent and allow her to think things through. As Sam had pointed out, I’m not Holy Spirit junior.
Leah came to pick up our plates. “How about dessert?”
Susan started to say no, but I told her about Hector’s cobbler. We sent Leah to the kitchen to bring us back some cobbler, along with a pot of coffee.
“I’ll have to diet for a week to make up for this dinner,” Susan said as we waited.
“Keeping my weight under control is a constant battle in Harmony. My only hope is working out in the orchards with my fiancé. It’s a better workout than what I used to get in the gym.”
Susan asked some questions about my life, so I told her about my upcoming wedding and shared a little about the kinds of freelance jobs I was doing. My description of trying to send work over a dial-up Internet line made her laugh. She had a few questions about the conservative Mennonites who live in Harmony, and I explained their way of life to her the best I could. She seemed to understand. I noticed that she carefully steered our conversation away from her personal life during the rest of our time together. That was okay with me. She’d already shared a lot with someone who was really a stranger. We finished up our visit pleasantly, and when we parted company outside the restaurant, she vowed to see what she could do on her end to get more KBI interest in the search for Hannah. She also gave me her card and made me promise to keep in touch with her.
I stood outside by my car as she drove away, heading back to Topeka. Thankfully, a nice breeze made the heat almost bearable. I’d just started to open the door when I noticed a red truck parked on the other side of the street. A sticker was attached to the back bumper. I closed the door and ran across the street to get a closer look. Even though it was getting dark, a nearby street lamp made the image clear. I stepped back into the shadows as someone came out of one of the stores and got into the truck. Rufus Ludwig started the engine and drove away. I stared at his bumper sticker as he passed by me.
I could clearly see the image on the sticker as I watched him disappear down Main Street. A big, black bear.
I
woke up Wednesday morning after a night full of bad dreams. My worst nightmare was easy to interpret. Hannah in the back of a red truck, calling for help. A bear chasing after her and gaining ground. I woke up from the first round of dreams, my body drenched in sweat.
Sleeping on the floor in the living room certainly wasn’t as comfortable as my bed. I pretended it was just fine, though, because I knew my father would feel badly if he thought I hadn’t rested well.
I’d called Sam when I got home and told him about Rufus’s truck. He sounded interested but not alarmed. Then I called Pat and gave him the lowdown on Rufus and repeated what Susan told me about Jonathan. Pat was more than a little angry that the boy hadn’t been honest with him about meeting Hannah, but my hope that this information might convince him that Hannah had been abducted was dashed.
“This still doesn’t prove she didn’t take off on her own, Gracie,” he said gruffly.
I sighed with frustration. “But you have to admit that she obviously wasn’t planning to run away when she left home. She didn’t tell Jonathan about it. And what about the fact that none of her clothes were missing?”
“I considered the clothing. But if she was leaving her Mennonite roots behind, I figure she wouldn’t take any of those long dresses anyway.”
“Look, Pat. There’s no reason to believe she was planning to leave Harmony that night. Please, just keep an open mind, okay?”
“I believe I am. I think I proved that when I talked to the KBI about Hannah. You need to give them time to do their jobs.”
“Okay, okay. What about Rufus’s truck?”
“I’ll look into it. I doubt seriously that Rufus is the man we’re looking for, but the last thing I need you to do right now is to make him suspicious. Stay away from him,” he warned. “Do you understand me, Gracie?”
After giving him my promise more than once to mind my own business, I hung up the phone. I tried to focus instead on my plans for the day, but it wasn’t easy. I prayed Rufus wouldn’t get apprehensive and try to run. I also prayed that Pat would move quickly. We couldn’t take a chance on losing the only suspect we had.
After a hearty breakfast, we all planned to go to Sam’s. Dad and Sam intended to tour the orchards and get to know each other better, a proposal Sam found slightly terrifying, while Mom and I went over wedding plans with Sweetie. I’d told Pat where I’d be so he could keep me posted on Rufus. Hannah had been gone two days now, although it seemed much longer.
I cooked a big breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast, and then Mom and I cleaned up the kitchen.
“Dad and Papa took baths last night,” Mom said as she put the last of the clean dishes away. “Do I have time to take a quick bath myself?”
“We’re not due at Sweetie’s until two,” I said. “There’s plenty of time.” I looked up at the clock on the kitchen wall. “I think I’ll drive over to Abel and Emily’s and see how they’re doing. Do you think Dad can keep an eye on Papa?”
My mother laughed. “Asking your father to watch over any member of his family is like asking a mother hen to guard her eggs. It’s part of his nature. Just let him know you’re going.”
I hung up the dish towel on the rack and went off to find Dad. He and Papa were on the front porch. Papa rocked in the rocking chair while my father sat on the top step drinking his coffee. I knew he felt nostalgic here, remembering his boyhood. For a moment it struck me as rather odd that thirty years after leaving Harmony, he and Mom were finally back. But now his daughter lived in the house he’d grown up in, and he was a man, taking care of the father who’d once taken care of him. I stood in the doorway and watched them for a while before I said anything, touched by an odd feeling of enchantment I couldn’t explain. I just knew I didn’t want it to pass me by too quickly.
“Think I’ll run into town,” I finally said, keeping my voice soft so as not to frighten Papa.
Dad cranked his head around and smiled at me. “Sounds good. Have you asked Ida if she’d like to come with us today?”
Man, I’d been thinking so much about Hannah and her situation, I’d almost forgotten about Ida. “You know, I haven’t. I’ll go call her right now. She’d probably enjoy being part of the wedding plans.”
Papa grunted. “Weddings were simple affairs in our day. The bride wore a blue dress. The groom wore a black suit. Then after the ceremony there was a banquet with singing and storytelling. The first night, the couple stayed with the bride’s parents. And after that, they visited the homes of other relatives and friends who attended the wedding. There were no wedding rings and few if any flowers.”
I pushed the screen door open and came out on the porch. “You weren’t at Mom and Dad’s wedding, were you?”
Papa took my hand, and I sat down on the porch rail next to him. “No,” he said shaking his head. “We wanted them to get out of town and away from Harmony. You know, we should have followed them. It’s one of the greatest regrets of my life—and of Essie’s, too. But we were conflicted back then. Even though we believed Daniel and Beverly belonged together and we encouraged them to leave, we also felt we couldn’t just up and go with them. We thought being submissive to our bishop was being submissive to God. We were wrong. Our bishop was the one who wasn’t submissive to God. It took several years for us to see it.”
“But you encouraged us to go, Papa,” Dad said. “And gave us enough money to get started. You have nothing to feel badly about. You and Mama were wonderful parents. Always.”
Papa didn’t say anything, just kept rocking in the warm July morning air, holding my hand.
“So what did Mom wear when you got married?” I asked my father. “She told me once it was just a plain dress because it was all she had.”