Silver Kiss (2 page)

“
You’re going to be great,”
Vince said, reaching back to pat my knee. “Officer Hammond. I can’t
wait.”

I smiled and squeezed his
fingers. “This doesn’t give you an excuse for speeding, Vince. I’m
not going to
lose
your tickets for you.”

“
Ticket, single,” he
stressed. “One ticket. And I was justified. I was—”

“
We’re here,” Joel
announced, turning into a wide gravel car park already full with
cars. The rough wooden gates to Moreland Park loomed in the
distance, surrounded by tangled hedges and slender birch trees.
Moreland was the biggest park in the city, left to grow wild to
give us wolves somewhere to truly run free. I opened my door and
inhaled deeply, catching scents of game and greenery on the chill
night air. It brought a rush of memories of my first Lupercali with
it and the first tingle of excitement crackled through me, burning
away some of the nausea.

The gravel was rimed with
frost and I skidded a little on my stupid heels until Vince linked
arms with me. I clutched at him gratefully, my heart thudding with
a cocktail of nerves and anticipation. I glanced around the car
park as we picked our way to the gate and saw my parents’
pearl-grey two-by-four parked a few feet away from Joel’s crimson
estate.
God
. The
real root of my anxiety tonight was that I’d somehow embarrass my
parents. Why it bothered me when I’d been an embarrassment to them
for years I didn’t know, but it did.

A few other groups were drifting to the
gate; I saw young kids in sparkly dresses and freshly-pressed
suits, giggling excitedly as they were ushered along by their
parents. Vince and Joel called out greetings to wolves they
recognized. I hadn’t really been home long enough to reconnect with
anyone, so I kept quiet and focused on staying upright. I would
burn the shoes when I got home, I silently resolved. The pointed
toes were already killing me and the dull ache in my feet made me
itch to throw off my human shape and run as a wolf.

Soon
, I promised myself and my wolf, glancing at the moon
again.
Just a couple of hours and we’re
free.

The Lupercali ceremony was
held in the center of the park, a wide clearing ringed by ancient
oak trees. By the time we arrived the clearing was crowded, every
wolf in the city spread around the circle. Teenagers clustered in
the shadows of the oak trees, too cool to sit with their families.
Elder wolves had brought garden chairs with them and sat with
blankets draped over their knees to ward off the winter cold. Young
cubs chased each other in and out of the blackberry thickets,
yelping and barking joyfully under parents’ watchful eyes. Glasses
clinked and people murmured and laughed. My heart swelled a little
at it all.
Family
.
I wished once more that Shannon had been able to come.

“
Ayla!” My mum emerged from
the crowd, dragging my dad behind her. She was wearing a tawny fake
fur coat. I couldn’t decide if that was ironic or just weird. Dad
was in an immaculate dinner suit. I tugged nervously at my dress
again; suddenly glad I’d let Shannon talk me into buying it and
wearing the gold jewelry. “Darling, we were wondering where you
were!” Mum hugged me warmly, then released me to look me in the
eyes. “Are you okay? Nervous? You don’t need to be.”

“
I’m fine,” I assured her,
although of course they could both smell the acrid scent of my
fear. “Just want to get on with it, that’s all.”

“
You look beautiful,” Mum
said. “We’re both so proud of you.”

Dad nodded and gave me a gentle, buddy-thump
on the arm. “Big night, baby,” he said, flashing me a smile that
showed entirely too many teeth. “Knock ‘em dead.”

He was as nervous as I was. It didn’t settle
my stomach one bit.

With my parents on one side and Vince and
Joel on the other, I moved through the gathered throng towards the
center of the clearing. A huge bonfire cracked and flared there,
shooting sparks and orange-blue fingers of flame into the night.
The clouds were clearing to show the moon in all her glory,
surrounded by a faint sprinkling of stars. The scent of burning
wood mingled with the rich aroma of cooking meat. That came from a
barbeque a few feet from the main fire, where someone was cooking
herby sausages and burgers.

When the ceremony kicked off, I’d be
standing by the bonfire waiting for one of the Pack alphas to daub
my head with sheep’s blood, cut my palm, and declare me one of
them. Then me and the cubs would run off into the forest while
everyone else stayed here and ate and drank until they passed out.
Like I said, it was a Roman thing.

I spent the time before the
ceremony being dragged from one person to another by Mum and Dad.
Even though I hadn’t done much socializing since my return, a few
Pack members recognized me from Adam’s funeral. A few even
remembered me from before I’d left home and I got the usual
refrains of
I remember you when you were
this high
and
you
look just like your mother
from them. I
bore it with gritted teeth and a tight smile, counting down to the
start of the ceremony.

The only person I was glad to see was
Gloriana, kitted out in full drag queen regalia and gliding through
the woods with perfect balance on her six-inch stilettos. Aside
from being one of my few new friends in the city, Glory was the
star act at Silks—the local werewolf gay bar—and not only dressed
like a diva but unashamedly was one. Even Mum loved her.

“Sweetie, you look gorgeous!” she told me, catching my hands in
hers. “Red is so your color. You should dye your hair, you know. A
burnished copper, maybe. Black washes you out.”

I ran my hand over my dark spikes. “Black
goes with everything though.”

She patted her own bright red beehive wig.
“It’s a party, Ayla, not a funeral.” She drifted off to greet Joel
before I could think of a witty retort.

Finally it was time. Someone at the center
of the clearing blew a shrill whistle that cut through the low
babble of the crowd and drew everyone’s attention to the bonfire.
Eddie Hughes, one of the Pack alphas, stood before the bonfire, the
flames throwing jagged shadows across his stern face. “Settle down,
everyone!” he yelled. “Let’s try and show some decorum.”

A chorus of whoops and cheers answered him
and he waved his hands to quiet everyone down again. “We all know
why we’re here, so there’s no need for all the ancient poems and
recitations,” he continued. A few people groaned, but most were
relieved. There was a huge, turgid cycle of poetry associated with
Lupercali that we were all forced to learn in Lupine Studies at
school. Being forced to sit through it every Lupercali as well just
seemed cruel and unusual.

“
Now, let’s get everyone up
here.” Eddie beckoned to the small group of kids hovering near the
fire. “Don’t be afraid, this is an important night,” he told them
as they joined him. I counted eight girls and six boys, all around
ten or twelve years old. The girls wore pretty, floaty dresses sewn
with sequins that looked way too thin for the frosty night. The
boys wore suits and ties and looked embarrassed and uncomfortable.
I wavered on my heels and sympathized. I wished I was up there with
them so we could all be embarrassed together, instead of having to
wait until after they were done.

Once they were all lined up, Eddie gave a
short speech about how important this night was and how proud they
should be to be here tonight, about to become adults. The boys lost
their unease as he spoke, their backs straightening, eyes flashing
with excitement as the crowd parted. A female wolf I didn’t know
strode to the bonfire, a dead lamb in her arms. Its throat had been
recently cut and the lamb still smelled warm, its blood perfuming
the air. The scent of fresh meat stirred the wolf in me, as it did
all of us, and electric currents of energy and power swept through
the crowd.

The she-wolf took the lamb to the cubs and
set it down on the grass in front of them. One of the girls whined,
a sound of hunger that a few of the others immediately echoed.
Eddie whispered something to them and they fell quiet, but the
hunger still gleamed in their eyes, feral and keen. Behind me,
people started panting and whining as their own hungers twisted
inside them. My wolf growled and pawed at me, wanting freedom. I
bit my lip and clamped her down, heart racing.

Eddie knelt to dip his fingers in the
bleeding wound at the lamb’s throat. Rich, coppery blood stained
his hand as he rose to daub a moon shape on the first cub’s
forehead. “Who keeps company with wolves will learn how to howl,”
he intoned, his sonorous voice rising to drown out the whimpers and
sharp yaps from the crowd. “For the strength of the Pack is the
wolf and the strength of the wolf is the Pack. Always remember that
as you hunt, remember it as you work and mate and live.” He moved
from one child to the next, smearing them with blood as he
went.

Trembling howls pierced the night as few of
the watchers let their wolves go. I breathed fast and shallow,
reaching for Vince’s hand and finding claws instead of fingers. He
glanced at me and smiled, revealing gleaming canines. Soon the
change would take him completely. Next to him, Joel held onto his
human shape, in control as always, although his pupils were dilated
with excitement. Glory wet her lips and shifted from foot to foot.
The mix of fresh meat, hot blood and a mass of other wolves would
soon overcome them both. I held on too, as my wolf cried for
freedom. I still had to get through my own part of the evening
before I could let rip. By now my nerves were strung tight and I
felt prickly and light-headed.

The cubs began howling too as Eddie reached
the last of them. They threw their heads back and sang to the moon;
thin, high voices joining the deeper, richer songs of the adults.
Eddie gestured for silence and they promptly shut up, nerves
returning as the second part of the ceremony began. They’d taken
the lamb’s blood—the offering of the Pack to them—now they had to
offer something back.

Eddie produced a deceptively small knife
with a carved rowan wood handle. Going back to the first cub, he
took her hand. “This won’t hurt,” he lied to her as he drew the
gleaming blade across her palm. I saw her bite her lip to smother a
cry and closed my own hand into a fist in sympathy. He raised her
hand so the blood ran down her wrist and arm. “Blood binds us to
the Pack and Pack runs in our blood,” he said. The howls rang out
again, a few louder than others as Eddie moved down the line. To
their credit, none of the cubs cried as he slit their palms. I had
a feeling I might.

The smell of wolf blood mingled with the
lamb’s blood, a weird mix of predator and prey. My nerves jangled
as Eddie cut the last cub and let his blood drip to the earth.
Splashes of crimson dotted the frosty grass, shining dully in the
moonlight. Countless generations of wolves had stood here and done
this, their blood soaking into the ground and marking this place as
theirs; their home, their territory. I could almost feel the earth
vibrating with the power of it.

Eddie threw his arms out to the forest.
“Blooded and declared adults, all of you,” he announced. “The
forest is yours tonight.”

The cubs surrendered to their wolves,
shredding their silky dresses and crisp shirts to fall into wolf
shape. Another joyous chain of howls accompanied their change and
within seconds they were racing into the icy shadows of the trees,
yipping and yapping and snapping at each other playfully as they
went, wounds forgotten. They’d passed through Lupercali.

Now it was my turn.

TWO

“Ayla Hammond, where are you
hiding?”
Eddie called, gesturing for silence once more. A hush settled over
the crowd at the sound of my name and my stomach tried to eat
itself as I stepped forward. I looked back at Vince for
reassurance, but he was in wolf shape now, a charcoal smudge at
Joel’s side. He lolled his wide pink tongue at me in a wolfish
grin. It was the best I was going to get from him. Mum though,
still human, waved at me. I smiled thinly at her.

Heat from the bonfire
pounded at me as I joined Eddie. Hot air toyed with the hem of my
dress and sweat beaded at my brow. This was it.
Please don’t let me fall over
.

Eddie smiled at me. “Welcome home,” he
whispered, patting my shoulder. “Feeling alright?”

I nodded and tried to smile
back. The knot in my stomach was twisting and tightening, my wolf
prowling endlessly in the confines of my mind.
Just a few seconds
, I assured
her,
and we’ll be out of
here
. I inhaled and caught the coppery
scent of the cubs. They hadn’t gone far yet—tussling in the trees
just out of sight.

Eddie cleared his throat and I turned my
wavering attention back to him and the circle of wolves watching
me. Some of them had been my friends, years ago. Only Vince had
bothered to stay in touch after I left, but then I hadn’t made much
effort with them either. Maybe that was part of my problem—I felt
exposed, naked in front of strangers. Yes, this was my welcome home
ceremony, but how many of the people here even cared that I’d gone,
much less come back?

“
We aren’t just here
tonight to watch our children become adults,” Eddie called out,
gripping my hand tight enough to hurt. “We’re here to welcome back
a wanderer.” He raised my hand over my head and a ring of howls
went up from the watching crowd. The knot loosened a little at the
sound, the wolf recognizing her own and relaxing. “We listened for
a voice crying in the wilderness,” Eddie quoted, lowering my hand,
“and we heard the jubilation of the wolves. Our cubs have gone
hunting, but they’ve also come home. And our Pack is richer for
that.”