Silver (34 page)

“
We are a five minute walk from the gatehouses sir. Do you wish to walk the rest of the way so we aren’t heard?”

“
Of course. Elizabeth?” he hopped down from the cab and turned to take her hand as she slipped out into the cool night.

“
I can manage from here,” she said.

“
Oh Elizabeth, please,” he said in exasperation and he turned to the driver. “I will walk Miss Greenwood to the boundary and be back within twenty minutes. Turn the cab and, for God’s sake try to keep the horse quiet will you.”

       
Elizabeth began walking away from the two of them and Bateman had to hurry to catch up with her. They passed around a bend and, once shielded from view of the driver, he pulled her to him. Elizabeth had been expecting some sort of attempt but she was still surprised. She had hoped that the hand on her thigh would be all. She pushed him hard on the chest but the gesture made him more amorous and he pressed his arm around her, his face close to her ear. He was strong and, though she struggled, he held her firm.

“
Mr. Bateman! Please!”

       
He said nothing but only gripped her more tightly, pushing his face into hers.

“Giles! Please,
’ she said firmly. Her tone wasn’t panicked and she did not scream but the volume alarmed him and he pushed his hand hard into her face covering her mouth whilst he pulled her down to the ground. The shock of his strength and the recklessness of his actions took her breath away. She could not have screamed even if she wanted to. He fell on her heavily pushing the wind from her lungs so that she struggled to draw breath. She had jarred her hip awkwardly and a pain seared up her flank that brought tears to her eyes. Her heart began to race as fear began to rise up in her throat and she tried to roll away from him. She turned onto her front and began to scrabble on the ground, his hand was hard around her mouth and the full weight of him on top of her crushed the air from her chest. She was going nowhere but her arms and legs thrashed helplessly. With his other hand, he had begun to pull up her dress and she let out a terrified cry.
He could not do this. He would not do this
. She thought and she still did not believe that he would do anything to her.
How could he? Why would he?
She thought to herself, over and over.

       
But he did.

~o~

              Even thirty years later, as she lay recollecting that time, Elizabeth could feel the same shame and disgust that overpowered her in the days that followed that terrible night. When he had finished with her, Bateman had simply pulled her to her feet and, brushing down her skirts, had tried to kiss her goodbye. Afraid that he may try something else, she flinched as his wet lips touched her own and as soon as he had loosed his grip, she ran from him as fast as she could. Her hip was sore and as she got within sight of the house, confident that he had not pursued her, she allowed the pain to get the better of her and she limped to the back door. It was easy enough to gain entrance to the house without Kate being too suspicious. Elizabeth would find out later that her appearance had shocked the young maid, but at the time, Kate didn’t say a word as Elizabeth swept past her through the kitchen. The following day, she faked being ill to avoid seeing anyone. She had woken early and examined herself in the mirror. The ordeal had left her eyes puffy and the lack of sleep made her skin pale. Her hip was bruised badly and there were marks all around her stomach and thighs which made her sick to look upon. It was not hard to convince Cribbs that she was unwell and, after a short visit from Aunt Georgina, she was left alone for a day to reflect on what had happened.  It did not go unnoticed by Elizabeth that Silver made no attempt to seek her out. In the gloom of her room, she tried to sleep but could not. Unwillingly, her mind was bidden back to the previous night and she began to wonder if what had happened had actually occurred. A quick touch to her tender thighs and the sore ache in her stomach assured her that her recollections were entirely accurate. Her head was spilling with thoughts but she had no-one to talk to. Though she knew that what had happened was wrong, she began to wonder if what had happened to her was not entirely her own fault. Had she implied her consent somehow? Had it started many months ago before that first visit to Cleveland Street?  No matter which way that she looked at it, the same thing had happened to her that night and she could not shake the heavy feeling in her gut, nor could she simply close her eyes and forget.

       
She was able to keep to her room for a few days more before Georgina grew impatient. Elizabeth sensed that her aunt found occupying Avery by herself an arduous task. She knew that her aunt found Avery’s company unnerving and this alone almost kept Elizabeth from rising until the fourth day.

“
At last Elizabeth!” Georgina called from the breakfast table. There was a look of genuine affection and enormous relief. The atmosphere into which Elizabeth had walked that morning was palpably flat. Avery had his back to her and she could not discern any such delight at her return to health.

“
Have a seat, my dear. You do look very drawn; though on you it has the advantage of improving your cheek bones.”

       
Elizabeth gave a hollow laugh and sat in her usual seat opposite Avery and though she itched to look at him, she resisted the temptation. As she helped herself to a few morsels of food, she could see from the corner of her eye that he was looking equally as furtive. He had balled his napkin up in his fist which was now on the table. He was glancing at the door and she knew that he was wondering when it would be polite to make his escape. Georgina, however, was so delighted to have someone else to talk to, that the awkwardness between them went completely unnoticed.

“
Well I must say Elizabeth, that Miss Silver and I are very pleased to see you back to health. I expect you will want to keep to the house today until you have your strength back. I imagine a spell on the terrace may do you some good. Perhaps you could arrange for some flowers to be cut from the garden so that we may arrange them, Miss Silver. Miss Silver?”

       
Avery had stood up and was taking his leave.

“
I will ask Helen. Mrs. Fearncott. Miss Greenwood. If you’ll excuse me.”

       
And with that he left. Elizabeth felt her stomach fall. She had not expected much from Avery right in front of Georgina but his attitude towards her was a double blow. That he had not forgiven her for that night was one thing but his rebuttal felt like a hard kick to the stomach when she needed someone the most.  Elizabeth felt teary as her aunt leaned forward to whisper loudly.

“
I don’t mind telling you Elizabeth that Miss Silver is quite the most sullen and awkward woman I have ever met. I doubt whether she will ever find, let alone keep, a husband. Why she makes even you look quite appealing.”

       
There was no hint of apology as she said this but, far from make her sad, Georgina’s barbed comments lacked the power to hurt her and Elizabeth merely smiled at her in response.

“
I am sure that Miss Silver’s life will be the richer for it.”

Unable to stomach the fo
od or the company any longer, Elizabeth rose and left the table. Though unappealing as the flower arranging had sounded, the prospect of a morning on the terrace in the warm late summer air was quite tempting. Elizabeth sat alone for an hour or so enjoying the feel of the early morning sun upon her face. She had her face turned away from the house as the sound of someone’s approach came across the gravel. She was glad of the company as being alone only made her think of her recent troubles and she had resolved never to think of Bateman again. She was surprised that she had managed to go so long without Avery or Georgina seeking her out. The footsteps were slower and less deliberate than her aunt and she assumed, or hoped, that it would be Avery.

“
It’s not too late for an apology, you know,” she called out without turning.

“
Miss Greenwood?” came a thin voice.

       
Elizabeth spun round to face the figure of Kate looking at her with a shocked expression on her face. Elizabeth turned away from her with total indifference.

“
Oh Miss Ward, what is it?” she was irritated that it was not Avery and more so, that she had been made to look foolish in front of his precious maid. There was a pause and then there came a sound like the girl had burst into tears. Elizabeth spun around to see find Kate weeping; her eyes already red rimmed and her face glistening with tears.  Elizabeth was stunned, and rather than feel curious as to the cause of her tears, she found that she was disgusted.

“
Miss Ward, what on earth are you doing? Will you take a hold of yourself?”

       
Her words were delivered sharply and without any pity and the girl managed to stifle her sobs as she delivered her message.

“
It’s Mr. Silver. He’s dead, Miss.”

       
Elizabeth’s head swam and she glowered at her again.

“
Avery?” she asked.

       
This made Kate laugh in a sort of relief.

“
No, Miss. Toby Silver. Avery’s father. The messenger has just arrived from London. Your aunt and Avery are going back to London right away.”

       
Elizabeth was struck by the tears this serving maid was weeping for her employer and, though shocked by the sudden and unexpectedness of the news, it did not make Elizabeth sad. On the contrary, she was rather disappointed. She supposed that this would mean that she too would be returning to London and, where a couple of days ago she would have jumped at the chance to return to the city, she felt she could not return home just yet. She was disappointed too that Avery would be going. The young maid waited in front of Elizabeth as if she should say something and eventually she found her voice.

“What dreadful news.”

        Her voice sounded flat and without any emotion. She sat back heavily in her chair as she imagined returning to London and bumping into Bateman in her father’s house; not seeing Avery ever again; being married to a man she knew she did not like let alone love. It was as if the news of Toby Silver’s had slit across her stomach and the heavy feelings of dread she had been carrying now spilled out across the terrace. Before she knew it, she too was weeping heavily. Tears entirely of self-pity but Kate, taking them to be for Toby, hurried to Elizabeth’s side and, kneeling down, began to stroke her hair and hush her. For Elizabeth, it was the worst thing the young girl could have done. Since her own mother had died, no woman had ever taken Elizabeth to her breast like that and dealt her such kindness. By the time a few minutes had passed in that position, Elizabeth was drained of all the energy her meager breakfast had provided her and she hung limply over the side of her chair and in the arms of a maid. For a few moments, she took in great gulps of air as she struggled to bring her emotions back under control and when she finally fell silent, Kate asked her.

“What happened on Tuesday night?”

        Had she asked a few moments later Elizabeth would have angrily rebuked the girl for daring to ask her but as it was, she had caught her entirely off guard and she simply blurted it out.

“
Though you will probably think it entirely my fault, I was taken advantage of.”

“
Avery?” Kate returned immediately, a confused look upon her face.

“
Bateman.” Elizabeth countered immediately. The name upon her lips caused her stomach to knot and she looked away from the intense gaze of the young girl before her.

“You mean he….”

“Yes. Bateman. Yes. He raped me,” she said, the words making her feel sick again.

       
Her voice cracked and though she had tried to brazen the statement out with nonchalance, she could not and instead, the words hung in the air and she found she could no longer meet the young girl’s eyes. Kate knelt in silence, waiting for Elizabeth to look up again and when at last she did Kate brought her face in close.

“
Have you told anyone?” she asked. Her jaw was tightly clenched and she looked a lot older than her years and Elizabeth was glad of it. It made talking to her easier.  Elizabeth shook her head.

“
Of course not,” she retorted. “Whom could I tell?”

“
If not your aunt, then Avery?” Kate tried to coax.

“
Avery isn’t even looking at me, Miss Ward, let alone speaking with me.” Admitting it aloud made her feel twice as alone and she began to cry again.

       
Kate stood up and pulled Elizabeth with her.

“
Come on, Miss Greenwood. It will do you no good at all for your aunt to see you like this.”

       
But it was too late, Georgina had emerged from the doors just as Elizabeth had got to her feet and she too looked shaken, though Elizabeth noted her aunt’s eyes were completely dry.

“
Elizabeth! What on earth is wrong with you?” She eyed her niece and the young maid who was holding her up, suspiciously. “Why on earth are
you
crying? You never met Toby.”