Sidekick Returns (15 page)

‘Right. Right,' I said, nodding. ‘I have news from Choden, and tales of a Bremy parade gone bad—did you hear about that?' He said nothing.

‘No? Wow, you are distracted.' Bart was normally all over everything that happened in the city. ‘I also have a big, big plan, but … are you sure you don't want to tell me what—'

‘No!'

‘Okay, maybe later. So I think what you need is a distraction,' I said, clapping my hands together. ‘And maybe a shower.' Bart rubbed his face with his hand really roughly while squeezing his eyes shut
really
tightly. ‘Bremy, I want you to tell me what happened as simply and concisely as possible.'

‘Right-o, Daddy-o.'

‘No,' he said, with an angry little shake of his head, then added another, ‘No,' and ‘Not today.'

‘Got it.'

When I finished retelling all that had happened, Bart first words were, ‘Wow, maybe you should move to Nepal.'

‘Bart! Haven't you been listening to anything that I've said?'

‘Every bit of it, with horror,' he said, nodding slowly. ‘I think the highlight was where your father spent ungodly amounts of money, just to what? Mess with your head? You know, I'm starting to think he's reached the part of his character arc where he moves from cold and evil to a wee bit unhinged.'

I growled. ‘You're focusing on the wrong part!'

‘What part should I be focusing on, oh wise one?'

I muttered something very unpleasant under my breath, then said, ‘The part with Ryder.'

‘Where she utterly and completely rejected you?'

‘Yes!'

‘What about that?'

‘Don't you think that's weird?'

‘If I say I don't, does that make me a bad friend?'

I growled. ‘It's not that she rejected me. It's the way she rejected me.'

‘Okay.'

‘It had heat. Ryder's rejection is always cool. And what about what Pierce said? Where she was spotted shouting things from rooftops?'

‘So, some random guy thought he saw someone who looked like Ryder howling at the moon. That doesn't exactly sound reliable.'

‘If it came from Pierce,' I said, tightly, ‘it's reliable.'

Bart rolled his eyes. ‘So what are you saying here?'

‘I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying.' I pushed my fingers through my hair. ‘Maybe my father got to her somehow. Maybe he's using his brain chip on her.'

‘‘Cause that's not a reach.'

‘Think about it! Choden wasn't telling me everything. Every time Ryder's name came up, he looked all sketchy.'

‘Choden can't be sketchy,' he said with a firm headshake. ‘It's against his mentor archetype.'

‘What?' I huffed. ‘Stop making up words.'

‘Okay, listen,' Bart said, rubbing his eyes. ‘You've been through a lot lately. I know sometimes it's hard for you to accept … well, reality, but I think the dream might be over. This is getting out of hand. Your father? That parade?'

‘Flash mob.'

‘Whatever!' Bart shouted. Man, he was grumpy without Queenie. ‘He's showing a lot of Bremy-like tendencies, but not delusionally cute shenanigan-type tendencies. His are more psychopathic.'

I rocked back on my feet and smiled. ‘Aw, thanks. That's kind of sweet.'

‘That was not a compliment!'

‘You want to know what I think?' I asked with a knowing nod.

‘No, I do not.'

I ploughed on. ‘Choden is trying to protect me, but not for the reasons we might think.' I pointed a knowing finger at him. ‘I'm telling you. Something is going on with Ryder, and it is my job as her sidekick to find out what that something is.'

Bart looked away and scratched the stubble on his cheek. ‘I'm not going to your funeral, by the way. I hate getting dressed up.'

‘Oh, stop being so dramatic!'

‘Me! I'm the one being dramatic?' Bart took a breath and planted his hands on the counter. ‘Okay, let's focus here. You think Choden isn't telling you everything.'

‘Right.'

‘You think something is wrong with Ryder.'

‘Right.' I nodded. ‘She never would have missed that jump in the past.'

‘And you're going to do what about it, exactly?'

I took a breath. ‘Well, I thought a lot about it on the way over here.'

‘Oh good,' he said nodding. So we're talking what? Twenty minutes? Thirty?'

I ignored him. ‘The museum.'

‘The museum?'

‘Something's going down at the museum.' I told him about the coat. Bart bugged his eyes and dropped his jaw in a really annoying way. ‘It's a trap, you moron! You get a coat and invitation from a man who is obviously connected to your father. So it's a trap!'

‘I know it's a trap,' I said, smiling and nodding. ‘A trap that I'm totally going to turn the tables on.'

Chapter 19

‘How?' Bart said, after making a number of spluttering noises. ‘How exactly are you going to beat the trap?'

‘Well,' I said, ‘I won't know that part until I get there, will I?'

Bart didn't say anything, just clutched his hair and shook his head.

‘So, you in?'

‘In? Bremy—' Bart cut himself off, inhaling deeply. ‘And what about Muscles? What's he going to think about all this?'

‘Don't call him that,' I muttered.

‘What? You call him that all the time.'

‘Yeah, but I mean it with affection and lust. You say it like it's a bad thing.' I looked around. Why didn't this store have more seating? I walked over to the counter and reached around to drag out what I affectionately thought of as my stool. ‘And I don't know what my sweet, brainy Pierce, man of integrity, is going to think of all this, but I need to make sure my father doesn't hurt him—I know it's not a coincidence that he's the one covering this event—and maybe, you know, this will help him see me in a new light.'

Bart's body convulsed in a single guffaw of laughter. ‘Yeah, okay.'

‘Look, my being a superhero may very well be a stupid dream, but it's my life's dream, and I'm not ready to give it up. Not when Ryder needs me. Not even for Musc—I mean, Pierce.'

‘Your life's dream?' he asked, with yet another shake of his head. ‘Again, it's only been about a month or two since—'

‘Bup!' I waved my hand in the air. ‘It was always there. I just didn't know it, and that's not something I can change. Not even for Pierce. Besides, I truly believe in my heart that Pierce will come to the conclusion that his life is better with me in it.'

‘Bremy, you're always talking about the universe giving you signs. Do you think maybe it's possible, just possible, that not just the universe, but actual people, are giving you a bunch of big ol' signs, and you're just ignoring them?'

‘No.'

He threw his hands into the air. ‘Oh, well, okay then.'

Neither of us said anything. I looked down at my feet for a good moment before glancing back up. ‘So, you in?'

He half-sighed, half-growled. ‘I'm in.'

‘Yes!' I jumped up off my stool, sending it crashing to the floor.

‘Only because I don't think it's right that anyone die alone.' He dug his finger into the cookie tube for more dough. ‘And you've caught me in a self-destructive phase.'

I patted him on the back. ‘I'd say you won't regret it, but we both know that's probably a lie.' I stooped to right the metal seat. ‘It will be fun, though.'

‘Yeah, maybe afterwards we can braid each other's hair if we get side by side coffins.'

I half-turned to leave. ‘No can do. I'm going wrestling after,' I said, ‘but I like your enthusiasm.'

‘You're going wrestling after?' he repeated to my departing back. ‘You know that's not like going out for pizza, right?'

I made a gun shape with my both my hands and pointed them at him while making a click-click with my tongue.

‘Okay, I have to try one more time.' He shook his head and inhaled deeply. ‘Are you sure you're not just creating a whole bunch of chaos so that you don't have to deal with the fact that your boyfriend has made multiple attempts to dump you, your father is trying to destroy you, and your mentor wants nothing to do with you?'

‘Pfft.' I scanned my brain desperately for something to say after that. ‘No.'

‘Well, on the bright side,' he said, with a bit of a dry smile, ‘I think I've got the perfect outfit for this masquerade. It came with a comic book promo.'

‘Excellent.'

‘Otherwise I'd have had to go second-hand tux shopping, and I think we both know that wasn't about to happen.'

Suddenly a light bulb of an epiphany exploded above my head. ‘Second-hand shop … that's it! You're a genius! I gotta go!'

I ran over to the door then ran right back again to Bart, grabbing a marker off his counter.

‘Hey!'

‘I need this too,' I muttered, rushing over to a cardboard box filled with a new shipment of video games. I dumped the contents on the floor as gently as I could.

‘Again, hey!'

‘Sorry. Sorry.' I jumped back up and hustled back over to the door, box in hand.

‘I'm going on record as saying this is terrible idea,' he shouted. ‘There's not enough genius in the world to balance out your level of crazy!'

I flashed him a toothy smile. ‘And that's saying something.'

***

When I got to the glass door of my next stop, I planted my fists on my hips and took a long satisfying breath. Finally. Finally, I was about to walk into a situation where I unequivocally had the moral high ground. An injustice had been done to me, and I was about to right that wrong.

Just then I noticed a small man with glasses and a briefcase standing beside me, staring up at the sky. ‘Um … hello?'

‘What are you looking at?' he asked.

‘I'm sorry?'

‘You were just standing there staring up at the sky. I just wanted to know what you were looking at.'

‘Oh!' I said, laughing. ‘I wasn't looking at anything. I was staring off in the distance finally—albeit temporarily—satisfied with my place in the universe.'

The man stared at me for a moment, shrugged, and then said, ‘Cool,' before walking away.

‘Thank you!' I called after him. It was cool.
I
was cool. Time to do this thing. My entire life was falling apart, but in this moment I was about to get me some justice.

I stuck out my arm in the Heisman position and hit the glass door. ‘It's Judg— Whoa!' I guess I hit the door with a little too much force because it smacked into a mannequin dressed as Elvis. I dove for the figure and caught it just before it hit the floor. I hurried to straighten him back up, but his heavy rounded base kept skidding around on the linoleum floor. ‘Little help here?' I asked, puffing some hair out of my face.

I heard a grunt, and then someone shuffling over from behind the counter. Meaty hands landed on Elvis and helped me tip him back up to an upright position.

I hopped back and straightened my shirt before flinging my head up to challenge the wrong-doer once again.

‘As I was saying,' I paused for dramatic effect, ‘it's Judgement Day.'

Chapter 20

Tired, watery eyes stared back at me without recognition.

I cranked up the level of righteous indignation in my eyes.

That did the trick. The man behind the counter let the tiniest flicker of guilt slip.

‘Ah-ha!' I said with a point. ‘You do remember me!'

He licked his thick lips with his thick tongue, putting lots of
ick
into both. ‘You didn't come back. I told you you had a month.'

‘Oh no, no, my friend,' I said, wagging my finger back and forth. ‘We both know that's not how it went down.'

He walked back over to the seat behind his counter, and let himself down on the cushioned stool with a
whompf
. ‘I have no idea what you're talking about, lady.'

I pulled my eyebrows high up onto my forehead. ‘Oh, but you do.' I glided closer to counter. I had my quarry in my sights now. ‘You and I both know you gave up that bracelet. Probably got a pretty penny for it too. You, the man who told me your business was based on your integrity.'

He reached down to change the channel on the small TV tucked under the counter, but I could see the beads of sweat popping up on his brow.

I smacked my hand on the counter. He jumped ever so slightly. Tingles raced over my body. Oh, that had felt good.

‘I will have you know that bracelet almost got me killed.' He furrowed his brow a little. It was true. I had been right in the middle of a twisted heart to heart with my father who was moving in to have me shipped off to a mental institution, or dungeon in one of his many basements, and my wits were the only thing keeping me alive. Terrifying, that. Then my sister had appeared with my bracelet, the matching one on her wrist, and she had held it up as proof of how far my life had spun out of control. Who pawns something with so much sentimental value? I did. I had to. Each bracelet had three diamonds to represent the two of us and our mother. The emotion of it all had almost been enough to break me. Almost.

‘Listen, lady. I told you,' he said, refusing to hold eye contact. ‘I have no idea what you're talking about.'

‘No, now you listen, lady,' I said with a point. I wasn't sure what I meant by that, but it felt right. I took a moment to rock back and forth on my heels. ‘I didn't want to do this but …' I walked out of the store, grabbed the long piece of cardboard I had carted here from Bart's, and stomped back inside.

‘What's that?' the storekeeper asked, with a jerk of his thumb.

I whipped the sign around for him to read. He squinted his eyes, ‘Don't pawn with this … spawn!' He looked up at me. ‘Hey!'