Sidekick Returns (11 page)

I made a frustrated grunt as my muscles twitched in protest. I wanted to go, but I also wanted to be smart about things for a change. The curiosity, though, was really killing me. I could barely stand it.

Suddenly somebody shouted, ‘Help!'

I ran for the opening in a flash. In fact, I was running so hard I overshot the mouth of the alley and ended up skidding to a stop in the middle of the now empty street.

I caught myself and spun in the direction I had seen the people running. What the …

In front of me, stood at least a hundred people in a grid formation, faces slack.

Uh-oh.

Chapter 12

Eerie silence rolled over me as I stared into the army's blank faces.

My first thought was,
He's done it
. Somehow my father had managed to implant the entire city with his mind-controlling brain chip, but then someone yelled, ‘Help!' again, and the army of people in front of me did something very strange. Their hips started jerking in unison. I vaguely noticed an older man with a scruffy face shuffle up beside me. He was chewing gum that didn't do much to cover up the smell of coffee wafting from his mouth.

‘What … what are they doing? I asked, finding it difficult to drag my eyes away from the horde.

He moved his drooping eyes to mine and jerked a thumb. ‘They need help.'

‘Should we call 911?'

‘No,' he said, smacking me on the arm. ‘Not that kind of help. It's that song … you know the song.'

‘The song?'

He squinted at me. Just then the music started up. That's when it all clicked.

Before I knew it, I was hopping up and down and clapping. ‘Flash mob!'

‘She's alive,' the man said, shaking his head, before shuffling off.

I watched the now smiling group of people in front of me sing and gyrate. This was great! I had never seen a flash mob before. I once thought maybe one was starting up in a bank, but that just turned out to be robbery. Before I knew it, I was dancing too. Sure, I didn't have their choreography down, but I could do a shoulder shake with the best of them … although it was kind of awkward standing out in front all by myself.

I looked around. Business people in suits, nannies with strollers, and teenagers looking comically unimpressed dotted the sidewalks. Most already had their phones out. It hit me that I should really get out of the street. Especially considering—I was fairly certain given that most of the phones were pointed at me—that I looked like an idiot. I was about to inconspicuously shuffle my way to the side, but when I turned my face back to the mob, I jolted with surprise when I realised they were almost on me! It was a flash mob parade! I'd never make it to the sidewalk now … but I could lose myself in the crowd. I let the grooving, marching crew swallow me up, and just like that, everything was back to being awesome! The sun was shining. The people all around me were blocking the wind. And I was dancing in the streets!

‘Good times, huh?' I said to a woman dancing beside me.

She nodded.

‘So what's all this for?' I shouted. ‘Charity? Fine Arts School? Proposal?' I clasped my hands together. ‘Please say it's a proposal.'

She shook her head no.

‘What then?' I asked with a smile.

She cocked her head to motion behind her. ‘It's for Big Shot.'

My body jerked to a stop as my head snapped around.

In the distance, behind all the dancers, was an enormous float made of … of crystal? It didn't even look like faux plastic crystal. I shielded my eyes against the refracted beams of light it was emanating. There, at the very top tier of the layered crystal cake, stood the man I had seen at the arena in the aviator glasses. But he wasn't the worst part … oh no, not by far. Planted all over the giant crystal structure were the girls he had at the fight, but this time, they were wearing matching outfits and wigs. I instantly knew who they were supposed to be.

In the most surreal moment of my life—and that's saying something—I realised I was about to be flattened by a float filled with … with …

… Dancing Bremy St. James-es.

Chapter 13

Numbers of dancers brushed by as I stood staring at the existential monstrosity bearing down on me.

Don't get me wrong. My life had been filled with a lot of … well … me. It came with the territory of being a St. James. But this felt different somehow. And not a good different.

I eyed the gold plate anchored to the front bumper of the float that read
Princess
in seventies style script. That had been a signature necklace of mine back in the day when I decided to try out jewellery designing. And by designing, I mean I pointed and said,
That one,
to the display case presented to me one morning while I lounged in bed. Sold millions of them. The wigs the girls were wearing were also cut in a signature style of mine. Those bangs were all the rage two summers ago. The white dresses and strappy sandals too. I tightened my windbreaker around my chest. One of the street dancers suddenly bumped my shoulder. ‘Better move it. You don't want to get run over by the Bremys.' I snapped my eyes over to his.

‘Just what the world needed, huh? More Bremy St. James.'

I began to shout something back, but he had moved on. I snapped my mouth shut.

My eyes trailed back up the tiers, Bremy to Bremy, to the very top as the float advanced on me. Finally my eyes landed again on Big Shot. This time he was wearing a dark purple dinner jacket with black lapels. It was a lot for my sensibilities to take. My eyes flitted up to his face. I startled a little when I realised he was already looking at me … smiling.

Again, I felt the sensation of familiarity rush over me. There was just something about him.

Suddenly he reached a hand out to me—an invitation to jump up on the float. I grabbed the flap of my jacket and swirled it to the side to stomp off to the sidewalk. Who did this guy think he was? For that matter, who did
I
think he was? What the hell was going on here?

Screw this
, I thought, pushing my way past the onlookers gathered on the sidewalk. I didn't have time for this nonsense. But on a deeper level, I knew I just wanted to get away from there. I was feeling very uneasy. Something about this had my father written all over it. It was probably the money. Crystal floats don't come cheap.

Just then, I heard the screech of a microphone on a loudspeaker.
Are we all having a good time?

A resounding,
YES!
roared back from the crowd, drowning out my sulking, ‘No.'

You know Big Shot likes to have a good time, and today, I want to give a shout out to the biggest party girl of them all, Bremy St. James!

Cheers followed. I stopped. Maybe I could hang out a few minutes longer.

Here's to you, Bremy
, he shouted, raising a champagne flute.
Come home, girl. We miss you.

New music started up.
This one's for my girl.
I watched as Big Shot began snapping his fingers, and then, of all things, he started singing … ‘Danke Shoen'. ‘
Danke Shoen'
?

No.

It couldn't be.

‘Hey! Hey lady!' someone started to shout beside me. ‘You alright?'

‘Fine,' I replied.

She tilted her head to give my face a good study. ‘You just slapped yourself.'

I nodded. ‘Had to be sure this wasn't a dr …' I trailed off as I watched the float pass me. Big Shot gave me a finger-gun point.

I knew it then. The float, the song, the movie that I had watched all those summers before with … with …

No. It just couldn't be.

Ricky?

Someone turned off the hot faucet on my blood, and all that was left running through my veins was cold. No. No way. It had been years since I thought about Ricky. The sudden rush of memories made my heart clench.

I stood rooted to the spot for a few more minutes while everybody else followed me—I mean, the me-s—down the street.

I planted my hands on my hips. What was I supposed to do now? I looked from one end of the street to the other. Did I follow? Did I go to The Pink Beaver pretending like
that
hadn't just happen?

I gently kicked a rock lying on the street with my toe. This was a message. For once I was truly justified in the belief that this one corner of the universe was revolving around me. But what were the Bremys trying to tell me? I looked up again in the direction of the float and something caught my eye. Hey now, what were those two shady characters about?

Two men had jumped onto the back of the float. I could instantly tell they didn't belong there. I mean, for one thing, they weren't dressed like me.

I trotted after the tribute leviathan to get a closer look. I saw one man give the other a sharp nod, before they huddled over what looked to be the float's engine, arms working. That couldn't be good.

‘Hey!' I shouted. ‘What are you guys doing?'

Despite the near deafening music coming from the float, both men snapped their heads around to look at me. A second later they jumped off of the float and ran for a side street.

I almost took off after them, but I thought it better to see what they had been up to. The float was slowly edging its way to the crest of one of the only hills in the city. Gears turned in my head. Giant crystal float. Hill. Shady guys fiddling with the engine. Suddenly I had a bad, bad feeling about this.

I pumped my arms and legs, running hard to catch up to the float.

I was almost there. Just a few more feet.

Bang!

Chapter 14

I skidded to a stop. A small cloud of grey smoke ballooned into the air right above the engine. I snapped back into action and sprinted the last few feet to catch up to the float, before grabbing a metal railing to pull myself up onto its back end. I peered down at the smoky engine. Right in the middle of a tangle of cut wires, small flames licked skyward, striving for grander destruction. I looked around. The float trudged onward of its own accord, the stretch of road to the peak of the hill narrowing quickly. I looked back down at the engine. I was willing to bet one of those cut wires had something to do with the brakes.

I had to do something.
Think, Bremy. Think!

My eyes darted around the float. Dammit! Why was there never a big red button that screamed
PUSH IN CASE OF EMERGENCY
? Although that would be a lot to put on one button.

I had to try something else. I hopped off the back of the float, stumbling onto the pavement. Someone had to know how to stop this thing. I just needed to get that someone's attention. I ran around to the front of the crystal monstrosity, waving my arms in the air, shouting, ‘Stop! Stop the float!'

No one reacted.

‘Fire!' I shouted.

A few Bremys spared me a glance, but they didn't break their choreography. ‘Fire!' I screamed again. ‘The engine's on fire!'

Again, nothing. Gah, it was probably the windbreaker. I ran into the crowd of dancers, bumping into as many of them as I could. Once I had the attention of a small few, I screamed again, ‘Fire! The float! React! Scream! Anything!'

Angry faces turned confused.

‘Look!' I yelled, point-jabbing to the float. Smoke had now risen to alarming proportions at the back of the moving crystal palace. A dancer behind me suddenly shouted, ‘Fire!'

‘Finally!' I yelled, throwing my hands into the air. ‘Thank you!'

More shouting started up. ‘Okay people,' I ordered in my loudest voice while running towards the front of the float. ‘If we all push together, we can stop it from going over the hill!' I placed my hands on the front bumper, walking backwards quickly so as not to get run over.

Another shrill scream pierced the air. ‘The float's going over the hill!'

‘Run!' another person shrieked.

‘No!' I screamed back. ‘Don't run! Help me!'

Dancers scattered in a million directions, making for the sidewalks. In the chaos, I suddenly lost my balance. I hit the ground hard in a seated position. My eyes widened in terror when I realised the front bumper was mere inches away from my face. The
r
in princess was about to knock me out! I smacked my back down to the concrete, bumping the back of my head, just as the underside of the float rolled over me. Stars pinpricked my vision. Maybe I was in shock, but I found my thoughts were slowing down to a solitary mantra. This couldn't be happening. This just couldn't be happening. I was literally being run over, like literally. And for once I was using
literally
in the right context.

I watched the dirty underside of the float pass inches above my face. Suddenly my survival instincts snapped back into focus. I craned my head to the side to see if I was almost out. Uh-oh, that was a lot of smoke and fire coming my way. I quickly log-rolled out from under the float and popped up to my feet.

I took a moment to do a quick pat down. Good. Everything was still attached.

Now what?

My eyes snapped back to the float inching its way forward to the crest of the hill. There was no way to stop it now. The Bremys had to abandon ship!

I ran back around to the front of the float, giving myself at least a few more feet of wiggle room. ‘Bremys!' I shouted waving my arms again in big Xs over my head. ‘You need to jump!' Dozens of fake-eyelashed eyes turned in my direction. ‘Seriously! You need to jump before you go over!' I shouted, pointing back to the hill. I couldn't tell if they heard me. The music from the sound system was still blaring. I shot my eyes up to the top … to Ricky. ‘Tell them to jump!' I shouted, acting out a little hop. ‘Abandon ship!' I had moved back as far as I could without going down the hill myself. No way was I going under the float again. I scuttled over to the side. ‘Bremys!' I shouted one last time. ‘Get down here this instant!' But I knew in my heart was too late. The float tipped over the hill. I squeezed my eyes shut. I did not want to see this. I only flipped them back open when I heard the screams. I shook my head slowly back and forth. ‘No. No. No.'