Sidechick Chronicles (4 page)

4

I wanted to get up and leave.  Somehow I couldn’t move.  I needed to deal with these demons.  I didn't realize how much this issue still bothered me. It had been over ten years ago.  I thought I had compartmentalized everything so far in the back of my mind it wouldn't affect me anymore. I figured it was what I had to do to forgive him. I thought it was how I became whole again. I needed to do that so we could move forward.  So our marriage wouldn’t fall apart. 

So our family would not be broken.

"How did you find out? Did you know the woman? Did he tell you himself?"

"Of course he didn’t tell me and no I had never met her. The first time I knew she existed was due to the video and email she sent me with them in it."

He looked more shocked than I did when I received the video. At the time, I thought it was extremely stupid for him to even do that.  Why would you leave traces of your indiscretions?  I could think of nothing other than he thought he had her under control. 

I continued, "Somehow she got my email address and sent me this long email telling me how they were in love with each other along with the video."

The tears started flowing again. I felt sick to my stomach.  It was like the feeling of finding out all over again.

"How did that make you feel Constance?"

"I felt betrayed, dirty, and hurt. I was in love and married to a man who was cheating on me and to make matters worse he filming it."

"Do you think he knew about the tape?"

I looked at him. If he only knew how loaded that question was and how bad I was ready to end this session. I was done reliving this low moment in my life.

"Yes he knew about the tape.  He filmed it."

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"After I saw the video I went and checked his phone. I wanted to know if she’d filmed it on her phone or if it was him. The video was in his camera folder and not his download folder which means he filmed it."

The thought alone pissed me off all over again.  The very fact that he did not care enough to even be smart about how he cheated made me realize I wasn't over it.  It made me realize I should have left then.

"So what did you do?

"I confronted him and he begged me not to leave him. He cried and promised he wouldn't do it again.  You know the usual dog and pony show people put on when they get caught cheating and run the risk of losing something or someone.”

"Did you believe him?"

"Of course I did. Not only was I eight months pregnant and hormonal.  I was four years into a marriage with a man I loved to my core.  I had never felt this way with any man other than Laurence.  He had reached a part of me that I knew no man would ever reach again.”

I believed that at the time. Now, I wasn't so sure even sitting here.

"Let me ask you something Constance. I want you to answer it honestly even if you feel it’s invasive."

"Okay."

"What is your husband's sexual appetite like? Has he always been adventurous or was the tape the first introduction to that side of him?"

"No he's always been adventurous and open to new things. We both were which is why I didn't see the need to step outside our marriage."

"I see. Well once you realized this and saw the video did you contemplate leaving? Did you try to leave him?"

"I did. I thought about packing up my stuff, along with our son Laurence Jr. and leaving.  Halfway through that thought, I thought about the humiliation that would come from the rumors. The embarrassment if the truth somehow got out.  On top of all those thoughts I felt like I'd be damned if I give up my family to her!  So I stayed."

I couldn't read his face. I couldn't tell if he felt sorry for me or if he was surprised at what he was hearing.

My phone rang.

I hit the button to silence it.  I looked back up at him. 

I wanted to hear his response to my reason for staying.

"So let me get this straight. You stayed because you didn't want to deal with gossip.  On top of that, you were carrying a burden of embarrassment that wasn't yours to begin with. Lastly, you gave into the pressures of competition over someone that is not deserving of that fight."

Wow
. When he put it like that I really felt stupid for staying.  If this is what facing denial felt like, I could do without it.

"So how do you feel now? Do you feel he's still having affairs?  If so, where does this leave you emotionally?"

"Honestly Dr. Gregory I'm not sure I care anymore.  Emotionally, I'm so numb I really don't feel one way or the other.  We sought out counseling and for a few years it seemed to be working.  Now, it seems there's distance again. Something has caused a shift and I’m tired of fighting to understand what it may be."

"How long has the distance been going on?"

"About two years."

My phone rang
again
.

"Constance, please take your call.  It may be an emergency."

I looked at him.  I knew who was calling and I wasn't ready to get into this here with him.  He gestured for me to take my call, so I answered.

"Hello. Yes I am still coming. I will be there shortly.  Give me 30 minutes, I’m finishing up something."

I hung up the phone.

"I'm sorry I need to end this session a little earlier. I have to meet someone.”

"Do you mind if I ask who?"

Actually I did. I knew telling him this would make him look at me crazy.  On top of the fact we hadn’t worked up to that part of the therapy session.  Talking about my affair would cause him to have a plethora of other questions.  Questions I had no desire or time to answer right now.

"It was Armond.  I mean Deacon Lampkins."

"Oh I apologize, I didn't mean to pry. You were finally opening up and I wanted you to continue.  I see you have some church business to attend to. No problem about concluding early. I understand and we can just schedule another session at a different time."

Best idea he'd had all session.

"Well to be honest that's not the case at all."

"Oh, then what is it?"

"Dr. Gregory, Armond is my lover and we're having an affair."

M
ariah

1

I look out the window at the clouds. It’s such a peaceful view.  My mind is at ease and I am so happy.  I have my dream job, the home I could have picked out of a catalog and most importantly
my man. 
It had been two days since we saw each other.  I was glad to be here with him.

I turned to look at him.  He is literally the sexiest man I have ever seen.  Sometimes I have to pinch myself because I can't believe he's actually mine.  I run my hands over his and he grips my fingers intertwining them.  We have been together for a year and a half now. It was like a fairytale. It seemed so unreal. So many trips, so many nights we spent talking and making love.  I would tell him my secrets, my hopes and dreams. He would lie on my stomach and tell me his.  We were two peas in a pod.

He told me he had a surprise for me this trip. I wondered what it was since he always had the best surprises.  I had hoped it was a proposal.  It was presumptuous, but I couldn’t help it. I was ready to be a wife. I was ready to be his wife.

Mrs. Byron McDaniels.

We would be the perfect power couple.  We would be the perfect family.  He already had a beautiful daughter who I knew I would be a great stepmother too.  I would be happy to be a part of raising a well-rounded young lady.  Not to mention, the children he and I would definitely have together.

I wanted two children.

I wanted his children.

We had countless conversations about our future.  We talked about where we would live, how many children we would have and the levels we would grow the company too.  There were no limits to the possibilities we would have with each other.  I always thought it was funny how life worked.  We attended graduate school together.  At the time, we were really cool with each other but we never dated. While we were in school, he was involved with a woman named Valentine Taylor.  Whenever I saw them together, they seemed to be happy.

He and I would occasionally have study sessions where he would flirt with me.  Every so often we would see each other at parties and would have our goofy moments.  He rarely came by himself because she always found herself attached to him.  She wanted the world to know she had snagged the infamous Byron McDaniels and he was all hers.  Most people would throw shade and snicker behind their backs saying stuff like,
"He's clearly being dared to be with her, he's using her to do his homework or what does he want with her big self?"

I never really understood either side to be honest.

She wasn't ugly at all, just a bit on the heavy side.  I figured most of the comments were due to that.  Despite the fact she was plus size, she had a curvy shape and dressed very well.  Unfortunately, people couldn't see past the fact she was plus size and was with him nonetheless. He has always been rumored to be with slim, pretty chicks. Normally, anytime you would see Byron he would have a future supermodel type on his arm.  Imagine the shock when he showed up with Valentine.  Word spread like wildfire throughout the campus they were together and plenty of jaws dropped to the floor.

After the initial shell-shock effect, there seemed to be one rumor after another with who he was sleeping with.  I wasn't surprised at all. He was fine as hell and those skinny chicks were mad as hell.  Everybody wanted him.  He had quite the reputation.  Even then everybody knew he could lick those lips while giving you one look.  The next thing you knew you were politely lifting up your skirt, pulling down your panties and handing them and your self-respect to him.

Willpower never stood a chance when it came to Byron McDaniels.

Byron was extremely smart which is why I knew he wasn't using her to do his homework. He was 6'3" and had the perfect football build.  Even with a loose fitting shirt, you could see the definition in his arms, back and abs. His skin was smooth and the color of dark chocolate. He had dreads then and even now he still makes me weak when he lets them down.

His eyes are a piercing jet black and his goatee outlines his perfectly shaped lips. I honestly couldn't tell you if it was the way he looked at them that made them weak in the knees. Or if it was the way his lips curved into the infamous
panty-dropping
smile after he licked them.

Either way, the man was a walking sin.

He knew it.

She knew it.

So the games began.

2

The pilot came on over the loudspeakers. The announcement stated we would be landing in 30 minutes and everyone needed to find themselves back to their seats.  He opened his eyes and caught me staring at him.  He smiled and squeezed my hands.

"What's up baby?"

"Nothing just got lost in thought, that's all."

"What were you thinking about?"

He leaned over and kissed me softly on my lips.  God, I loved this man. He always wanted to know what I was thinking or how I was feeling.

"You of course," I answered smiling.

"What about me?"

"Just how much you make me happy."

He caressed my cheek.

"You make me happy too baby.  I love you so much. I can't believe we waited this long to be together.  I have always had a crush on you. I realize now it was definitely fate that lead us to bump each other at the conference.  I knew then I was never letting you go again."

He was right.  I was close to backing out of the trip at the last minute.  So much had been going on prior to it, so it was definitely fate we were both there.

Everything about that weekend was magical.  We had somehow ended up at the same conference three years ago in Miami.  We hung out, had some dinner and reminisced about old times.  We laughed so much it was like we had gone back in time. 

Only hanging out this time was different.

He was different.

And so was the way he looked at me.

When the trip was over, we managed to exchange numbers and promised to keep in touch.  Six months passed and we hadn't exchanged so much as a hello.  In between that time, my company had downsized and I was then looking for a new job.  I just happened to be on LinkedIn one day when I saw he had sent me an invitation to connect. I accepted and we managed to start talking all over again.  He told me he had misplaced my number and had been trying to locate me since then. I saw the invitation was from four months ago so I knew he wasn't lying.  I had come back from that trip with so much going on I hadn't a chance to even get on social media.

We always had a way of just picking back up from where we left off. 

It never felt like a lot of time had passed, just that we could slide back into being us.  During one of our conversations, I told him what happened with my job.  He listened and told me he understood the reasons to why I hadn't reached out.  A few weeks had gone by, we literally talked every day.  Before I knew it he offered me a job at his company.  At first, I was somewhat apprehensive seeing we had been chatting on a personal level up to this point.  I had never been personally involved with anyone I worked with.  I told him I needed some time to think it over.  He could sense the hesitation in my voice.  He told me he would have HR draw up the paperwork and have a courier deliver it.

Three days later the paper work arrived.

I reviewed the paperwork for a week. 

I was outdone at the salary being offered for this position.  It would definitely be an increase from my last job.  Not to mention, all of the stock options, benefits, and employee perks he was offering.  I was torn due to the emotional feelings I had for him.  I immediately shook those doubtful feelings off because this was a great opportunity.   Besides, going from unemployed to Vice President of Public Relations wasn't too bad either.  God had answered my prayers, so I called him back and accepted the offer.  The next thing I knew I had packed up my life and moved to St. Louis.

Before I arrived he had his realtor on the hunt for a house.  Since I was leaving an apartment already, I preferred not to move across the country to another one.  I didn't have to do much once I landed other than move my clothes and personal items in. The house was paid up for a year and was fully furnished.  At the time I thought that was bit much.  I made him promise right then we would keep this strictly professional.  Initially, he kept that promise in the beginning.  After months of constant late work nights our good behavior made it to a year and a half.

I smiled.

Even things like that let me know he was a provider.  A real man who knew what needed to be done.  I knew finding me a place was him going above and beyond.  He was trying to pursue me and it worked.  Three years later here we were sitting on a plane together, holding hands and in love.

I kissed him again.

"I'm not letting you go either baby.  I love you too."

He leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"This weekend will be unforgettable. It’s going to be just me and you, forever."