Shmirshky (13 page)

BOOK: Shmirshky
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52
Women's Health Initiative.

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Estrogen dominance refers to the situation in which there is too much estrogen relative to the amount of progesterone in a woman's body. When estrogen dominates, there is a greater risk of heavy menstrual bleeding and other symptoms.

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Hot shmirshky!

55
Lesbian shmirshkies know all about this. Double the shmirshkies, double the PM&M!

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Synthroid is one of the medications commonly used to treat hypothyroidism.

57
A colonoscopy is an examination of the large colon and part of the small bowel with a curious little camera they stick up shmirshky and erlick's next-door neighbor. Is this more fun than a Pap smear? Have one of each and then decide.

58
A hysterectomy is an operation in which the uterus is removed.

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Estrogen dominance occurs when there's too much estrogen relative to progesterone in a shmirshky's body. Heavy bleeding and sometimes even cancer can result from this.

60
Incontinence refers to the loss of bladder control. For shmirshkies, this can mean anything from mild drips to full-on floods.

61
Endometriosis occurs when tissues that behave just like the cells that line a shmirshky's uterus grow in other areas of the body (usually in the pelvic area, outside the uterus, on the ovaries, bowel, rectum, or bladder).

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In Darby's case, her cells were behaving abnormally and could possibly have turned cancerous. Unfortunately, when cells behave badly, you can't just put them in “time out”; sometimes they need to be removed all together.

63
Acupuncture is a practice developed in China of inserting fine needles through the skin at specific points to cure disease or relieve pain.

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You can find information on each state's licensing board at
http://www.acupuncture.com/statelaws/statelaw.htm
.

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I dished out $80 for this fabulous experience, but costs will vary depending on the practitioner and length of the session. Be sure to check with your insurance providers, as many carriers cover acupuncture these days.

66
Type A people are known for their impatience, aggressiveness, and competitiveness. Who, me? Type B folks, by contrast, are known for having a lack of aggressiveness and tension. Sounds glorious!

67
Aerobic exercise releases endorphins, which make us feel good—even euphoric. I love these endorphins; they are really something! As it turns out, exercise is just as important for your mental and emotional health as it is for your physical health. It can help ward off depression, increase your daily energy, and help you sleep better.

68
Hormone replacement therapy; also called HT (hormone therapy or hormone treatment).

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Women's Health Initiative

70
Shmirshky Board

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Shmirshky Board

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All Web sites in the Shmirshky Not-So-Fun Terms support both the definitions listed in this section as well as the matching definitions in the text and footnotes of the book and were retrieved on October 9, 2010, unless otherwise specified.

73
Unfortunately, the technical definitions of premature menopause, premenopause, perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause rarely do justice to the actual PM&M experience. The process takes years and years to go through, and each shmirshky has different symptoms and stories. After reading this book—and living through PM&M—you can write your own definitions!

74
Compounding pharmacies create medication formulas, specifically designed for a particular individual's needs.

75
Information for this section was gathered from
http://www.pdr.net
and through the help of my pharmacist and doctors. These hormone therapy options were all available as of September 1, 2010. As you know, many new drugs come on the market each day, and some get taken off. Since I am not a doctor, I can't recommend or suggest any of these drugs. If you choose to try hormone therapy, it is critical to find the right doctor to be your partner and help you make the right choices.

I've indicated which of these hormone therapy options are bioidentical or not for quick and easy reference, but this should by no means be the only factor you consider when going on hormone therapy. If your doctor prescribes HRT, discuss all the different options and learn as much as you can about the medicine that he or she suggests so that you are comfortable with what you put into your body.

For the purposes of this chart, hormone therapy options that contain a bioidentical hormone as well as a nonbioidentical hormone all wrapped up into the same medicine are classified as nonbioidentical, since you can't separate the bioidentical hormone from the nonbioidentical hormone before the medicine is administered.

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Progestin is a nonbioidentical form of HRT intended to supplement low levels of progesterone in the body.

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