Shiftr: Swipe Left for Love (Lori) BBW Bear Shifter Romance (Hope Valley BBW Dating App Romance Book 5) (11 page)

Suddenly, there was the screech of grating metal, and the door flew open. She stepped back from the window and was greeted by the sight of a tall, burly man with a huge potbelly filling the doorway. He had a straggly gray beard, and he was wearing a black Jack Daniels t-shirt, torn black pants and sunglasses, and he had a grubby bandana over his hair.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded. Lori’s voice caught in her throat. This was the last thing she’d been expecting.

“Uh, just shopping. I guess you’re not open yet though?”

“No, we’re not,” he said and took a step towards her. His voice was cold, with a hint of menace. She took a step back, and somehow became wedged between him and the window. “That should’ve been obvious from the fact that the shutters are closed. In fact, we haven’t been open for a while.”

“Oh, I see – ” she started to say, but then he came even closer. She could smell his breath, the acrid stench of a heavy smoker, and the hint of stale sweat radiating from his body. She was disgusted to feel his belly brushing against her own.

“What are you really doing snooping around here, taking photos?” he demanded. Her thoughts swirled around. She had no idea why he was being aggressive, but she had the very real sense that the situation could turn violent. Honesty was the only thing she could think of.

“I used to have a store here, years ago. I’ve just come back to the town, and I wanted to see it, for old time’s sake,” she said in a panicked voice. The man gave her an unpleasant grin.

“It must’ve been quite a few years ago, because this has been our place for a while. I hope you don’t have any ideas about getting your hands on it. Because I’m telling you right now, that’s not going to happen.” He bared yellow, half-rotten teeth. She repressed the urge to scream. Abruptly he stepped back and she shuffled away so that her back was no longer to the window.

“I was just looking, that’s all,” she whimpered. His yellow eyes bored into hers, assessing her words.

“Good. Get away from here now, and don’t come back!” he said loudly.

She turned on her heel and scuttled away from the shop. As she turned the corner onto a broader street, she looked back, and he was still watching her, rubbing his hairy belly where his smelly T-shirt had ridden up. She kept going until the shop and the awful man were far away.

At last, she stopped, leaning against the side of a building. She was gasping for breath, and her head was swimming.
What the hell had just happened?
She’d expected seeing her old store to tug at her emotions, but not like that at all. She’d never been so terrified by another human being in her life. And especially not in Hope Valley. Who was that guy? And why had he been so hostile to her? This didn’t make any sense at all. Thank goodness he’d believed what she’d told him though. She couldn’t imagine what would’ve happened otherwise. She lifted her hand to wipe away a tear, and discovered that it was shaking badly. She needed sugar or something. Or a drink. This was the first time she’d felt like drinking since was found out she was pregnant.

She pushed herself off the wall and began walking aimlessly back into town. She stopped at a café. She used to hang out with her friends there when they were in high school, gossiping and ordering milkshakes and pastries. Gino’s had been updated for the times, but it hadn’t changed all that much over the years. As she opened the door, the familiar, well-loved smell hit her nostrils.

“Lori!” Gino himself called as she walked in. “Is that you, darling?”

“Gino! It’s so great to see you,” she said, walking towards him, and she was soon enveloped in a floury hug. Gino had to be in his 70s now, but his bright, black eyes still sparkled with the good humor that she recalled from years back. Laughter lines were etched into his skin and he had an impressive white moustache that had turned from gray to pure white since she’d last seen him.

“Are you just visiting Hope Valley?”

“No, I’m back for good,” she replied. “I’ve come home.” He clapped his hands together.

“That’s fantastic news! I hope we’ll be seeing you very often!”

“You can count on it.”

“Now what would you like, darling? Anything you want, on the house.”

“Thank you, but that’s ok. I’ll just have a Danish pastry and a hot chocolate, but I’m paying,” she said.

She took a seat by the window, and soon Gino brought her order over himself.

“There you go, darling. We’re so glad to have you back here. I told Norma, and she was so excited. She’ll come out of the kitchen and say hello to you in a minute.”

“That’d be great, thanks, Gino,” she said, trying, but failing to sound enthusiastic. His customary broad grin dropped, and concern showed in his eyes.

“What is it, cherry bun? You don’t look like your old self. Has something happened?”

“Oh.” She waved her hand dismissively. “I just had a bit of a shock. I went to see my old store – you know, the boutique I used to own?” He smiled and nodded.

“Of course I do, I used to buy treats for Norma from there.”

“Well I went back to see it today. I’ve been thinking of getting it back, but the current owners weren’t very nice. They told me to stay away.”

“No! They scared you, didn’t they?” she nodded.

“A little.”

“I don’t know anything about them myself. But I know that they don’t own the property. That whole street is owned by Hope Valley Property Services.”

“Really?”
That sounds familiar, actually.
She took her phone out and looked at the photo she’d snapped. There was a brass plate on the upper left-hand corner of the store, listing the owner’s name, just like there had always been.

“You should speak to them if you want to get your shop back,” Gino said. She frowned.

“I guess. As long as I don’t have to deal with them personally again.” Just then, Norma came over. She’d aged quite a lot since Lori had seen her last, her long plait more gray than brown these days, but her eyes had the same warmth and vitality as Gino’s. She gave Lori a big hug and asked her a hundred questions about what she was doing back in Hope Valley.

Lori spent a happy half hour with the couple, while they took turns at going back into the kitchen and preparing food, before leaving with promises to bring Nancy in next time she was in town.

Out on the street again, she felt a lot calmer. The incident already seemed unreal, as if she’d dreamed the whole thing. Except that the stench of the guy’s fetid breath still seemed to be caught in her nostrils. She looked up Hope Valley Property Services on her phone and found the address. She’d stop by and ask them about the property.

“We own that store, as well as most of the stores on the street,” the real estate agent said, confirming what Gino had told her. “Between you and me, the current tenants have been troublesome, restricting access to the property, and we suspect that it’s in a state of disrepair. Unfortunately, they still have another year left on their lease.”

“Would you be open to selling it instead?” she asked.

“Yes, potentially. The properties on the street have lost a lot of their value since the current tenants have been there, so we’d be happy to sell, in order to raise some capital to carry out renovations etc.”

“And you’d be able to evict the tenants in these circumstances?”

“Yes, I believe so. I need to review the contracts, but it should be possible. Can you leave it with me, and I’ll get back to you soon?”

“Of course, thank you. But can you please not mention me to the tenants. They were quite threatening today when they saw me looking through the window?” The agent looked appalled.

“Of course I won’t,” he said hurriedly. Lori shook his hand and left.
This seemed to be good news, but was it?

Chapter Nine

When Lori arrived back at the cabin, there was a familiar pickup truck in the driveway. She went cold, as if she’d been hit by a blast of air from the arctic.
Bruno. What the hell is he doing here?
She couldn’t deal with seeing him again. She thought about turning around and going off on a very long drive.
No
. She couldn’t keep avoiding him, especially when he was friends with the guys. She climbed out of the car, straightened her spine and walked up to the cabin.

“Hey, we’re in the kitchen,” Andrea called as she came through the door. Lori walked as slowly as she could along the hallway and entered the kitchen. What she saw almost made her gasp. Bruno was sitting at the breakfast bar, where she’d been earlier, in his firefighter’s uniform. He looked so hot in it. It enhanced the masculine angles of his face and those striking blue eyes. He was more deeply tanned than ever, and he had the beginnings of a sexy goatee. Seeing him as he’d been the night he’d rescued her brought all those feelings back – her fear, the relief of being saved, the desire to be always protected by him. A wave of emotion washed over her, and she put her hand over her mouth to stifle a cry. Bruno immediately got to his feet.

“Are you ok?” he said.

“Yes, I’m fine, sorry. It’s nothing,” she said.

“It’s the uniform, isn’t it?”

“Maybe, it took me by surprise that’s all. I’m fine now, I promise.” As hard as it was to be near him, she took the empty stool next to him at the bar. She picked up a hint of his sexy, masculine scent.

“I just stopped by to complete the complimentary fire safety check that the Hope Valley Fire Service offers to all residents,” he told her.

“I guessed it wasn’t a social call,” she said, indicating his uniform. She cringed at the snarkiness in her tone. It had slipped out before she could get it under control. A shadow passed across his eyes.
Have I offended him?

“Well, it wasn’t initially, but your sister makes very good coffee,” he said, raising his mug.

“Would you like some coffee, Lori?”

“Thanks, but I’d better go check on Nancy.”

“Oh, she’s sound asleep. Magnus spent a good couple of hours playing lions with her, letting her ride around on his back, and I think he tired her out!” Lori gaped.

“He was playing with her as a lion?” Andrea laughed.

“No! He was just pretending, but she seemed to love it.”

“Oh, ok,” Lori said with a smile. “In that case, coffee would be lovely!”
Damnit. After all the times Nancy had been awake when Lori badly wanted her to go to sleep, she had to be asleep right now.

“I play with Tad in my bear form sometimes,” Bruno said. “He hasn’t known about me being a shifter for very long though. I had to wait until he was old enough not to go and blab to all the kids at school.”

“I bet he loves that.”

“He does. And he’s dying to find out if he’ll be capable of shifting himself. He’ll be really disappointed if he can’t.”

“It must be cool being able to shape shift,” Lori said. Bruno shrugged.

“It’s all I’ve ever known, but I’d say it’s pretty cool. It’s amazing to have animal strength, and be able to enjoy all the simple things in life, but then it’s also great to have human interactions and complex verbal relationships. I think human intimacy is better too. Bears just tumble around and fight each other for dominance.” At his last words, a tingle ran all the way through Lori’s body. Bruno was thinking about intimacy, but not with her. The thought was another stab in her already fragile heart.

“How did the visit to the shop go?” Andrea cut in, rushing to change the topic of the conversation.

“It’s changed a lot. It was kind of a shock to see it, I guess,” Lori said, omitting any reference to her experience. She couldn’t let herself appear needy in front of Bruno again. “But I also spoke to the property owner and it looks like he might be willing to sell it to me. He’s going to get back to me when he’s had a chance to look at the terms of the rental contract.”

“That’s great,” Andrea and Bruno said at the same time.

Andrea put her coffee cup down with a clunk.

“Well, I’ve gotta go and get ready for work. You two should stay and relax here. Don’t worry about Nancy – she’s out for the count, and I know Magnus will be happy to deal with her if she wakes up.” Lori looked at her in confusion.
Why is she telling me this?
she wondered.

“Ok, see you later,” she said, instead.

“Lori, I was actually hoping we could speak somewhere more private,” Bruno said, turning to her.

“Oh. Sure,” she said. “Did you want to go walk outside or something?”

“Yes,” he said immediately.

He seemed extra tall and huge in his uniform. She’d never got why women had firefighter fantasies before. But now she understood. He was the essence of masculinity – strong and fearless and protective. He’d tucked his helmet under his arm and the fireproof material of his pants made a swishing noise as he walked.

They walked out into the forest. The trees were all green now, and sunlight filtered through their branches, dappling the earth and the carpet of fallen leaves. Bruno had been silent up until now, and she sensed he was figuring out how to say something. Her frustration building up, she stopped and stood stock-still.

“So?” she said. He stopped too and turned around. He met her eyes for a long moment, seeming to be frozen on the spot. Then he strode forward, seized her in his arms, and kissed her full on the lips. She gasped, her lips parting at the same time, and he kissed her again, more fiercely, his lips searing hers, his tongue seeking out her tongue. At first, she was too shocked to do anything, but then she returned his kiss, reaching up and pulling at his hair, trying to bring him closer to her. Heat ran through her veins, making her feel light and euphoric. His mouth was incredible; it felt like his lips were made for hers. She never wanted the kiss to end. As her arm snaked around his waist, he pulled away. And then he looked down at her in horror.

“Lori, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that at all. I lost control of myself. You looked so beautiful and vulnerable standing there on the forest track that I didn’t even know what I was doing. I’m sorry. That shouldn’t have happened.”

“But – but what’s the problem?” she stammered.

“I can’t be with you,” he said.

“Why not?” she demanded, when he didn’t say anything else. “Is it because I’ve got a baby? Or because I’m not good looking enough? Or because you don’t think I’m good enough for you?” She was so full of confusion and frustrated desire, and hurt that it came out as anger, and he looked taken aback.

“No – it’s none of those things.” His voice was full of pain. “You’re amazing, and the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. But we can’t be together.”

“Tell me why, Bruno,” she said, enunciating each word clearly.

“I can’t. It’s too complicated.”

“No,” she said simply. “Shiftr picked us out as a perfect match. You just kissed me like you meant it. I don’t care how difficult this is for you; you’re going to tell me the reason, right now.” He groaned, and tried to look at her, but couldn’t meet her eyes.

“I know Shiftr thinks we’re a perfect match, and believe me, I can understand why. I also appreciate that I acted like an ass when I sent you the message the other day. I went to reply to you, and saw that you’d removed me from your feed, which made me understand that I’d hurt you. I was actually trying to write a kind message. I kind of signed up to the app by accident while I was helping Niall sign up to it. Then Tad was looking through the profiles and clicked on yours. I didn’t want you to see that I’d left a track on it and passed you by, so I thought I’d send a message. But now I can see that it didn’t help matters at all.” She shrugged.

“I guess replying or not replying would’ve been equally bad, really. All that matters is that you don’t want to be with me.” The eyes that met hers were full of fire.

“’Cant’, not ‘don’t’,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Really?” she said tauntingly, her hands on her hips. Secretly, she was shocked at her behavior. She never acted like this. But his evasiveness was driving her wild.

“Really.” He stepped close again, and took her in his arms. As his mouth met hers in a burning kiss, he swept her right off the ground. He walked her backwards, until she felt her back bumping against something unyielding. A tree trunk. His huge hands grasped her thighs, and somehow, she wrapped her legs around his waist, as there was nowhere else for them to go. He kissed her deeply, his lips soft and pillowy, and his stubble brushing her cheeks thrillingly. She felt weak, like a rag doll. All she was aware of was her hunger for him, that raged through her body like wildfire. He could have flung her down on a pile of dead leaves, and she wouldn’t have minded. In fact, she would’ve welcomed it. She ached to feel this huge, muscular man on top of her, rough and rugged in his firefighter’s uniform. She knew what those callused hands felt like, and she yearned to feel them on the bare flesh of her thighs, her breasts, between her legs. The thought made her shiver, and squeeze him tighter. He pulled away from the kiss and looked into her eyes, searching, before he dove in again, his velvety tongue dancing around hers in blissful motions.

His mouth moved onto her neck, in hungry, biting kisses. He murmured her name over and over. “
Lori, Lori”
; it sounded like honey on his tongue. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the tree. Then she opened them again and stared up at the tree branches.

“Bruno, put me down,” she said.

“What?” his voice was thick with desire.

“I said, put me down. I’m not going to let you kiss me like this when you’ve just told me that you can’t be with me!” She braced her arms on his shoulders and pushed at his body. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t move an inch, but he let go of her thighs and let her slide to the ground. His eyes were full of regret and suffering.

“My mate,” he began.

“What?” she said, more softly.

“She died in a fire. It was in our house. I was away that night in the next state, working on a conservation project. I’d taken Tad with me because she was a nurse and had to work shifts that weekend, and it was hard to find a sitter, so she was alone. She fell asleep with her laptop on the bed. It overheated and caught fire. Apparently the carbon monoxide fumes intoxicated her, and she never even woke up. And then the house just turned into an inferno. It was all ashes by the time the firefighters put the blaze out. I know she died in her sleep and didn’t suffer, which makes it a little less awful. But still, it was so needless. I didn’t know anything about fire then. I wish I had, wish I’d used some common sense. I knew laptops get hot. I should’ve told her not to leave it on the bed. I should have been there. I shouldn’t have left her alone. It’s all my fault.” Lori stared at him, her heart aching for him.

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Bruno. And I’m sure I’m not the first to tell you that it obviously wasn’t your fault.” He looked down, silently.

“Is that why you became a firefighter?”

“Yes. It was partly the guilt. I felt like I had a duty to understand everything about fire that I could, to atone for my ignorance. And it was partly to help others. I wanted to make sure that no-one else would die in a fire while I had the chance to protect them. I’m not always successful. I’ve lost a couple of people over the years, and it’s traumatized me all over again. But you, you were the closest I came to losing in a long time.” He reached out and touched her cheek with the tip of his index finger. The roughness felt nice on her skin. She felt herself being caught up in the spell again, losing herself to the intensity of her feeling. She took a step back.

“That’s why we can’t be together,” he continued. “Because we met through fire. I lost one mate to fire. It feels like a bad omen to meet my next one because of fire. It all seems too coincidental, and just wrong.”

“But – ” she faltered. She could see his point, kind of.

“The heavens shone on me when I snatched you and Nancy out of the car, against all the odds. Now I can’t tempt fate again. I know there’ll be retribution. I just know it.” His expression was as serious as she’d ever seen in anyone before.

“I don’t know too much about these things – after all, I only discovered that shifters existed a few days ago – but if we’re a perfect match, isn’t that really important in the shifter world, like fate telling us we should be together?” He nodded.

“It is. It’s what every shifter hopes for. But I can’t take the risk of losing you. I can’t have a second mate, especially one that I met through fire. It’s a bad omen. We can’t be together.” Lori was silent as she began to comprehend how tortured he was, how much guilt and pain he concealed beneath his nice guy exterior. She understood his darkness. And she so badly wanted to protect him emotionally. As he’d protected her physically, she wanted to take care of him, remove his pain, show him that both fires were nothing more than terrible accidents. Heal him. But she could see that he wouldn’t let her. Not now. Maybe with time but not now so close after her accident. His feeling and his conviction ran too deep.

“I’m sorry, Lori,” he continued. “Please believe that I don’t say this lightly. Telling you that I can’t be with you, when I so want to be, causes me a lot of grief.”