Authors: Em Bailey
For a moment I didn’t move, unsure of where the scream had come from or even if it was for real. Then it came again, an angry scream, and I knew it wasn’t a joke. It
was coming from around the back of the hall. I got moving, running to the end of the path and into the little garden behind the hall.
A purple spotlight was trained on the fig tree there. It was probably meant to light up the area and make it look less scary but it had the opposite effect, washing the tree’s bare
branches and sinewy trunk with an alien glow. I stopped in the shadows, avoiding the purple light, deciding that it was better – safer – to remain unseen.
I spotted Katie right away. She was in front of the fig tree with her back to me. She was so still and pale, the rippling of the wind across her dress the only movement. I knew instantly that it
was Katie who’d screamed – everything about her stance said fury. But what had she screamed at, exactly? It wasn’t until I stepped sideways that I saw Cameron and Miranda sitting
on the wooden bench under the tree. They weren’t touching, but there was something about the way they were sitting that made it clear they
had
been. Maybe it was the looseness of
Cameron’s fish tie. Or the slightly rumpled look of Miranda’s hair. These days her hair never looked messy.
I can picture so clearly how their faces looked as they sat there, although when I think back now, logically it’s not possible. The only light was trained up into the branches of the tree,
not on the bench. Perhaps the moonlight was enough to illuminate them, though, because I can picture Cameron’s face perfectly – knotted and twisted around with guilt and anxiety. His
tension made Miranda seem all the more serene.
I shifted slightly and a twig cracked beneath my shoe. Neither Cam nor Katie reacted, but I thought I saw Miranda’s eyes flick over to where I was standing in the shadows. It was just for
a moment, but when she looked away again her mouth was twitching.
I knew I should go.
This has nothing to do with you.
But then Katie began talking and I found myself leaning forward, trying to pick out her words. Her voice was weak, like the screaming
had drained her.
‘I saw you. Don’t try and deny it.’
Cameron stood, holding his hands towards Katie, palms upwards. ‘Katie,’ he said. ‘Please.’
Katie’s whole body was rigid and when she spoke her voice was the same. ‘I
saw
you. What you were doing on the bench together. You’re disgusting.’
‘Katie,’ said Cameron again, taking a micro-step towards her.
Katie staggered back. ‘You’re a cheater,’ she hissed. ‘And a liar. I hate you. I
hate
you.’
‘Come on,’ said Cameron. ‘Calm down.’
Katie shook her head. ‘You’ve been laughing at me, haven’t you?’ she said huskily. ‘
Stupid little Katie. Doesn’t have a clue what’s going on
. But
I know now, don’t I? My boyfriend and my best friend.’
Miranda laughed then – a laugh full of contempt, and I felt myself begin to simmer. How could she laugh?
Katie’s hands clenched, her fists pitifully small. ‘I was so
nice
to you, Miranda. I made you!’ she said. ‘And all you’ve done is steal from me!’
‘I didn’t
steal
anything,’ sneered Miranda, rising from the bench and moving towards Katie. ‘You gave me things. But you can have everything back if you want
– starting with these.’ Miranda lifted up the golden sweep of her hair and plucked Katie’s earrings from her ears. She held them out, like they were a couple of dead beetles.
‘They’re not
real
diamonds, you know.’
Katie snatched up the earrings and flung them into the bushes. ‘I’m not talking about those,’ she said. The tendons in her neck were bulging.
‘Do you mean Cam?’ said Miranda, her voice full of scorn. ‘You
loser
. I didn’t steal him. He came looking for me. Can you guess why? Because you were boring him to
death.’
Katie shook her head.
Miranda’s smile glittered. ‘Ask him yourself then.’
For as long as I’d known him, Cameron had been the Big and Popular Guy. But that’s not how I would’ve described him right then. Right then he was the Shrunken and Nervous one.
The one who looked like he was about to wet his pants. ‘I – that’s not –’
The wind picked up Cameron’s stuttered words and flung them out to sea. Miranda turned her back on him and glided towards Katie. ‘So is there anything else you want to accuse me of
stealing
from you?’ she said. ‘Go on. I’m dying to hear it.’
‘I used to be popular,’ whispered Katie, starting to sag. ‘Beautiful.’
‘So I stole those things, did I?’ said Miranda. ‘Get real, Katie. You think that if I could steal personalities I’d bother stealing
yours
? You just lifted yours
straight out of a magazine anyway. There’s nothing original about you. Nothing interesting either. That’s why Olive dumped you, isn’t it?’
I went cold. Katie gasped and bowed over as if winded.
‘Miranda!’ Cameron was probably trying to sound firm but instead he just sounded scared. ‘This is getting out of control.’
Miranda paid no attention. She kept moving towards Katie, her dress swish-swishing with each step. ‘So I suppose it’s also
my
fault you don’t eat anymore, is it?’
she said. ‘And that you’ve forgotten how to brush your hair? The hair that you also seem to have stopped washing?’ Miranda’s perfect little nose wrinkled with distaste.
‘Can’t you smell yourself? You
reek
.’
The awful thing was that Miranda was right – Katie
did
smell. I’d noticed it myself the last few weeks. It was a musty, sour stench that clung to her, trailing behind in a
cloud as she walked. The smell of neglect, I suppose. Or despair.
Miranda tapped her cheek thoughtfully. Then she smiled – like a brilliant idea had struck. ‘You’ve always been so good at giving other people feedback on how they look,’
she said. ‘Maybe it’s time I gave you some. You know. Just to check you’re not turning into a road accident. There’s no going back once that happens, remember.’
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t imagined this scenario – Katie being treated the way she’d treated others. The way she’d treated
me
since I’d told her
we were no longer friends. I’d never imagined it happening like this though, when she was already so broken and so empty. Part of me wanted to intervene then, but Ami’s warning rang in
my ears.
‘Stay the hell away from her.’
Miranda had already begun walking around Katie, examining her from all angles. ‘We may as well keep going with your hair,’ she said. ‘I can see your scalp. Not a good look,
you’d have to agree. And your skin? Ew, Katie. So pasty white. You look like a corpse.’
Get angry at her,
I willed Katie.
Push her away and leave.
But all Katie did was nod. Like Miranda was doing her a favour.
Miranda looked at Katie’s dress and shook her head regretfully. ‘Your clothes are so bland these days. I mean, what
is
that thing you’re wearing? A sack? But I guess
most things would look like a sack on you now.’
‘I want to take the test,’ said Katie and even though her voice was whisper-thin there was a certain determination to it. ‘The one you said all the models in Europe have to
take before a show.’
‘No,’ said Miranda sharply. ‘You can’t. Not here.’
Katie raised her arms and held them out to the side. ‘You don’t need a tape measure to get the numbers,’ she pleaded. ‘You can tell just by looking at me, can’t
you? Please. Just look at me.’
‘Actually, you’re right,’ said Miranda suddenly. ‘I
can
tell just by looking at you. Bad news again, Katie. Your numbers are way too low.’
In the distance, the waves crashed and rolled.
‘Too
low
?’ whispered Katie. ‘I didn’t know that could happen.’
‘Of course it can. God, Katie. Have you looked in a mirror recently? You’re just bones. It’s disgusting
.
’
I couldn’t control the yell that came from me then.
‘Stop it!’
I couldn’t just watch from the shadows any more. Not while someone was being mauled alive right in
front of me. Even if they didn’t want my help.
Katie and Miranda turned to look at me. Katie’s expression was so vague I wasn’t sure she even knew who I was. But it was clear from Miranda’s expression that she did. With a
chill I realised she had known I was there, all along.
‘Are you standing up for Katie now?’ she said. ‘How very strange. Considering how you dumped her.’
I mustered up the fiercest expression I could, doing my best to ignore the pounding pain in my skull. What was it about Miranda that made my head ache? ‘Just leave her alone,’ I
said.
Miranda snorted. ‘With pleasure.’
Katie stood fixed in place for a moment, looking at Miranda. Then silently she fled into the darkness.
My heart began to race as I looked at Cameron, slumped on the bench, head in hands. ‘Aren’t you going after her?’ I demanded.
‘She doesn’t want to see me,’ he mumbled.
I couldn’t even look at him.
I was right to mess with him,
I thought savagely.
That cowardly piece of shit.
‘I’ll go then,’ I spat. ‘Alone.’
I guess it’s pretty strange to go searching for someone you don’t like very much, but there was no way I could let Katie run off on her own like that – so upset and so
obviously sick. I’d let Miss Falippi go. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake again.
I turned and stormed off, but before I could get very far, there was a hand on my arm – one full of warmth and reassurance. ‘Wait up. I’ll come too.’
How long had Lachlan been there? It didn’t matter. He was there and I was glad.
Crazy
glad. He raised an eyebrow. ‘But only if you want my help, of course.’
I didn’t quite trust myself to speak, so I nodded.
We started by searching around the perimeter of the hall, checking behind every bush and tree and dark space. I even looked into the fancy fountain with the carved dolphins out
the front – and saw nothing but my own face bending and wobbling on the water’s surface. Next we searched inside, pushing our way past the laughing girls on the dance floor, the cuddly
couples and the guys getting secretly drunk behind the potted palms. I checked the toilets and the cloakroom. Katie wasn’t there. Ami had also vanished.
Lachlan and I met on the front steps. Lachlan looked at me. ‘Where to next?’
Katie could be anywhere. ‘Let’s look down the street,’ I said.
It was good to get away from the hall and we walked along together, checking the doorways, the bus shelters and behind the bins lined up in the alley beside the Rainbow Hotel. Then we took the
path that led down to the beach. As my heart began to thump, I told myself I wouldn’t lose my grip. So what if this was the first time I’d been back since the Incident. I’d ridden
alongside it not so long ago. Walking on the sand wasn’t so different, was it?
You won’t even be able to see the water. It’s too dark. Just get on with it.
As we got nearer, I tried to remember everything Dr Richter had told me to do when I felt the panic coming. Control my breathing. Remind myself that
I was not my past.
I couldn’t
let Lachlan hear me breathing like a wonk, because then he’d ask what was wrong and I’d have to lie, or tell him what I’d done.
The wind was growing steadily stronger, making the jaggedy bits of dress around the shark bite flutter like tiny flags. As we stepped off the path onto the sand Lachlan stopped and looked at me.
‘She’s probably not here, you know,’ he said. ‘I bet she caught a taxi and went home.’
I knew he was probably right. And if the situation was reversed, Katie wouldn’t be out searching for me. If I quit now I’d be home in half an hour, safe and warm in my fortune
teller’s tent, letting Luxe smooth everything away. But that was the soft option. The old Olive option.
I kicked off my shoes and dug my feet into the cold sand. ‘You go if you want,’ I said tightly. ‘I’m going to look a bit longer.’
‘I’ll stay too then,’ said Lachlan, beginning to remove his jacket. ‘You take this.’
I shook my head. ‘I’m not cold.’
Lachlan swung the jacket over his shoulder and we trudged along, calling Katie’s name and scanning the sand for people. A chant began circling in my head:
This is pointless, useless,
hopeless
.
Lachlan stopped, head tilted, listening. ‘I heard something,’ he said.
A lot of trucks used the beach road, especially at night, avoiding the speed cameras and the traffic lights. I stood beside him, listening hard. At first, nothing. And then the faintest of
noises. It could’ve been a seagull. Or a cat. But somehow it just wasn’t either of those things. There was something in it – some tiny note of distress that caused Lachlan and me
to sprint towards the high wall that divided the beach from the road. Lachlan reached it first and scrambled up. At the top he leant back, holding out his hand. I hesitated. I was pretty sure I
could get up that wall myself. Then I imagined what Ami would say.
For god’s sake Olive, just let him help you
.