Shattered (9 page)

He remained silent for a minute before hissing, "You're fucking right. Greg finds the fucking girl of his dreams and in six months has a ring on her finger with a promise from her to be his wife. I've been with you for over three years and I'm still mucking around, hoping that one day you'll wake up and see what you have in front of you."

Offense, wrath, and rage roared through my veins. "Is that what you want? A Kelsey? A yes ma'am? That poor girl is nineteen years old, and all she sees is a man who can provide for her like daddy does. If a Kelsey is what you want, then you've wasted your time on me."

"You know a Kelsey isn't what I want," he quickly responded, "but I also don't want to have to wait forever for you to get your shit together. I'm a Shaw. Most women are clamoring to be in your shoes."

The high level of arrogance that he exuded was out and was no less than nausea-inducing. Glimpses of the old Colby Shaw that I'd known from high school were starting to trickle in, and the thought made me sick.

"You disgust me, Colby," I said, with a scorched tongue through clenched teeth. "You are so gosh damn full of yourself."

"Well, I could be full of my girlfriend, but she's been replaced by some barren figure that has no idea how to love." His breathing picked up and he thrust his hands into his hair. "You would think since your parents are gone that you would throw yourself into me, but you've done just the opposite."

His words enraged me. I felt my face heat while sweat beads gathered on my hands. "Don't bring my parents into this, Colby," I said, in a low, menacing tone.

"You are alone in the world, Dallis. You don't have to be. You have me, and yet, you continuously push me away." He lightly chuckled. "Your own fucking mom wanted to see you married and you couldn't even make her happy."

I walked closer to him and stared hard at his smug face. I couldn't believe that he was sinking to such low blows. My breathing picked up as the wrath built up inside of me. I knew Colby had a special spot reserved for turning into an utter asshole, but this was a new low for even him. "I push you away? You're mad because I want to work, and fill my time doing things that make me happy?"

"No. I don't care that you want to do things that make you happy, but you're wasting time on this silly photography hobby of yours, which is taking away from us."

Insulting my business and my one passion in life sent me into a tailspin. "That
silly hobby
pays my bills, you asshole!" I snapped, trying desperately to hold myself back from taking my hand to his face.

"Bills that you don't even really have!" he yelled, "You've made that shit the priority for too long, and now, when you think you could prioritize, it's caused you to abandon me and your mom."

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked, cracking my knuckles, trying desperately to relieve the tension and ache that had lodged itself into all parts of my body.

"It means you're lost…empty." He stood and a smug smile slowly crept across his face. "You've gone from moping around to a fucking workaholic in a matter of weeks." I slowly inched closer to him. "Have you realized that you haven't even cried for your mom? You cried for your dad, but not your mom. What kind of daughter are you?" His words hit like a hammer. "You're devoid of any emotion except anger and bitterness."

I now stood close enough to touch him, and seriously considered it, but I held back. Instead, I worked to bring my angry, panting breaths back to a sense of calm so that I could speak again. He looked into my rage filled eyes and smiled a patronizing smile that gave me no option but to give it back.

"You don't get to tell me how to mourn," I said in a low, gruff tone. "You're a selfish piece of shit, Colby. All you do is think about you and what will make you happy, and I don't think it's me."

He exhaled a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair again. "You're just not the same girl I fell in love with, Dallis." His tone made a swift return to low and husky.

 I looked at him, a pained expression on his face, and I
almost
felt a slight trace of hurt for him. "You're right. I'm not the same girl you fell in love with over three years ago, but you're still the same prick that I should have known better than to ever fall for."

The sting in my words hit Colby hard, and I watched him flinch as I said them, but then he quickly smiled. "As if you could do better."

 Shaking my head at his presumptuous assumptions, I turned to walk out of the room. As I got to the end of the stairway, I stopped and yelled, "I can and believe me, I will."

Colby leaned up against the wall, but he didn't say anything further. I made my way upstairs, and within ten minutes I had enough of Colby's clothes packed for a week. I tossed the suitcase down the stairs, and followed after it, making sure that Colby took it in his possession. He walked over and picked it, but stopped after looking into it and finding so many clothes.

"This isn't a break, Dallis. If I walk out that door, I'm not coming back," he said, almost threateningly.

I watched him sift through the clothing inside the bag and zip it shut. As he stood with the suitcase in his hand, I responded with, "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out."

Colby walked through the front door without so much as a glance back to me, but I didn't really care. I slammed the door as he tossed his suitcase into the back of his Range Rover, and through the windows, I heard the squeal of tires as he peeled out.

Chapter 6

The next few days were spent gathering up all of Colby's things and stacking them neatly in a corner so that he could come and retrieve them. He'd called and asked when he could come by, and I told him I'd let him know. I didn't really want to see him. The things he had said to me in the midst of our fight were downright disgusting. Arrogance was one thing, but to deliberately hit me below the belt in an attempt to hurt me simply because he was angry and needed an outlet was something that I couldn't deal with. I never imagined in all of the time that I'd known Colby, that he would stoop that low--at least not with me anyway.

His words played over and over again in my head. Was I really devoid of emotion? I thought back to my mother's passing and the aftermath, and while I still hadn't cried, it wasn't that I didn't feel anything for her. In fact, I felt
everything
, but I just couldn't make myself cry for it. At night when I would think about my mom, the pain from the loss of losing her would consume me. I felt like needles were pricking away at my heart, and after the needles were removed, salt would fill the wounds and my chest would be set ablaze. The loss of my mom tortured me each and every night, and I wasn't sure why I hadn't broken down into an uncontrollable, sobbing mess.

But to say that I was devoid of emotion hurt…

Colby
knew
he could make me feel like shit with those words.

I'd told Colby he could come by Monday afternoon to get his things, and at the last minute he'd backed out. Later that evening, I told him he could come by Tuesday afternoon, since I'd be in the office and we would miss seeing each other. Unfortunately, when I walked into my townhouse after work, all of Colby's things were right where I'd left them. He hadn't called to say that he wouldn't be there and that bothered me. I didn't want to have to look at his smug face, so I was planning on times for him to come by when I knew I wouldn't be home.

I walked upstairs and started the shower, but before jumping in, I called his cell phone to see if he had gotten hung up at work and if we needed to reschedule again. He didn't answer, so I left a rather perturbed message on his voicemail. I stayed in the shower for a good half hour, basking in the serene atmosphere of just me, the water, and a smooth instrumental. Work was a refreshing release from everything that I had been dealing with, but the constant flow of clients inquiring about my well-being was starting to get old. It seemed no matter where I went, or where I turned, someone was loaning their unwanted, sympathetic shoulder. Miranda was the only person giving me my space, while still keeping a watchful eye on me.

I got out of the shower, dressed, made my way downstairs, then threw a lasagna dinner for one into the microwave. Just as I was making my way into the living room, I heard the jingle of keys, and watched as Colby entered the townhouse with a blonde walking in behind him. Rage boiled inside me, and I felt myself lose all control over my mouth when I shouted, "What the fuck are you doing here?" The blonde looked up to find me glaring in their direction. Colby walked further into the townhouse, holding her behind him, but not saying a word. I walked closer to them and then he finally spoke.

"I needed to come and get my things, Dallis. Isn't that what you wanted?"

Seething inside, my lips pursed as I thought long and hard about my next move. He knew that he had come to cause trouble and I internally struggled with giving it to him or not.

"We had an arranged time, Colby. I didn't want you here while I was home."

He smirked at me before saying, "Well that's just too damn bad, isn't it?"

His words lit me up on the inside. I wanted so badly to lunge forward and pop him in the mouth, but I didn't, I just stood there fuming as he moved aside and began gathering his things. His companion stood looking like a frightened chicken. She was short like me, but had blonde hair and was skinnier than sin. I turned my gaze away from her and made my way over to Colby who was slowly gathering his things from the pile.

"What happened to coming this afternoon, Colby?" I hissed, still trying to contain my rage.

"Things came up," he replied, shrugging his shoulders like it was no big deal. "Besides, it's not like I was interrupting anything."

"You were interrupting my downtime, you asshole!" I shouted. "We agreed on a time for you to come. If you couldn't come, then you should have given me the fucking courtesy of knowing that, and we could have set up another time. Instead, you saunter in here like you own the damn place, and bring this skinny bitch with you," I said, nodding to his even more frightened friend.

"There you go… full of anger and bitterness," he said, with a look on his face that screamed,
I'm getting under your skin.

"Fuck you, Colby." I made my way over to his belongings and started grabbing as much as I could while he watched in dismay. He jogged behind me, yelling for me to put his shit down, and as soon as I made it to the front door, I tossed his things out on the pavement.

"Crazy bitch," he said in a muffled voice.

 I looked at him and winked my eye, then walked over to his things and gathered up some more.

"Put my shit down, Dallis, or I'll call the fucking cops."

"I am putting it down. Right where it belongs. I should have done this earlier when you decided it wasn't important enough for you to come and get this shit."

His friend stepped just outside the door, still not saying a word. When Colby gathered the rest of his things, he stopped and looked at me before saying, "You are a miserable fucking girl. I'm not sure why it took me so long to realize it."

I shook my head and laughed. My laughter broke his high and mighty moment of triumph and his look turned to confusion. I laughed even harder, looking from him to his friend and back to him. "I declined your numerous marriage inquests, kicked you to the curb, and tossed your shit out the door, and
I'm
the miserable one? I don't think so. Your fragile little ego was wounded when you realized that your name wasn't going to take you any further with me, and instead of handling it like a man, you threw a temper tantrum like a bratty little kid." I watched him fix the tie he was wearing and then went on. "Is this your new chick? Three days we've been broken up and you've already moved on, Colby? How pathetic can you be?"

"We're not together," the girl squeaked. "We're just on a date."

I looked over at him and smiled. How fast could he move on from someone that he claimed to love? In that moment, it didn't really matter to me, he'd shown his true colors days before, and this mishap was just the cherry on top. I looked back at the girl and quietly said, "I hope you've enjoyed your date, here at his ex-girlfriend's house," before walking back into the townhouse and closing the door.

The next morning at work, I filled Miranda in on what had happened the night before. She laughed at the tale, stating how flabbergasted she was that Colby seemed to have lost all common sense in the midst of our break-up. I got a good laugh out of telling the story, and honestly couldn't believe parts of it myself. Had Colby always been capable of being a douchebag to the thousandth degree? .

I didn't want to think about him any longer, so I changed the subject and asked Miranda about work projects that had come up. She said there was only one that had come in the last few days, and she was sure it would be good for our name in the community.

"Well, who is it?" I asked, eagerly awaiting any sort of way to build up my name and subsequent clientele.