Shark Beast (4 page)

"How come we have to ask first?' D. J. muttered.

"Scared?" Roxy asked, with a grin.

"Of you." D. J. copied her grin.

Roxy stuck her tongue at him.

"Don't point that wriggly thing at me," D. J. countered.

"Man, get a room, you two," Luna smirked, casting a wicked glance over at Hoagie, who was trying to decide if he should be jealous or not.

"If the room has electricity, I'd actually go, even with him," Roxy muttered, sticking her tongue at D. J. again.

Luna said, "Are you two going to do this seriously or what?"

"Uh ... 'or what.'" Roxy rolled her eyes.

Luna squinted. "Hoagie, you're the manager. Make them do it right."

"
Assistant
manager," Roxy muttered.

"Do it right," Hoagie muttered back.

D. J. rolled his eyes. "Sure told you."

Roxy stuck her tongue out again.

"I'm warning you." D. J. shot Roxy a look.

Luna, sing-song: "Hoa-gie!"

"All right, all right, we're serious already," Roxy sighed. "How do we do this dumb thing, then? What are the dumb rules?"

"Just put your fingers on the pointer, real gentle," Luna explained. "Just the fingertips, but don't push. You have to let the pointer move on its own. Don't push it, don't guide it..."

"Then why even touch it?" Roxy scowled.

"Why even be here?" D. J. drawled.

"Hoa-gie!"

"We're doing it, we're doing it, don't split a seam." Roxy glared down at the stupid board, with all the stupid candles, and all the stupid stupidness. "Just tell us the question."

D. J. gave the board and candles a bored look. "Yeah, what are we asking again?"

"I thought we were asking it if it was okay to ask it if we could ask it something," Roxy said, confused. "Or something."

Hoagie waved his hand. "Eeh, ask something else. Something cool."

"Okay ... here we go," said Luna, in a very comforting voice. "Is there anyone -- or anything -- here with us? Go ahead, ask it that."

D. J. and Roxy looked at each other, then they muttered, incoherently, "Anybody... anything... out there... here... blah-de-blah... whatever."

Everyone paused, looking at the pointer, which was not moving.

"I think it's broke," Roxy said.

"Okay, concentrate, everyone," Luna said, and, to Roxy, "No pushing now."

"I'm not pushing," Roxy said crisply. "It's not even moving, how can I be pushing?"

Luna soothed. "Just don't push, let it move of its own ..."

"I
told
you, I'm not--"

And suddenly, it slowly... began to move.

Everyone gasped.

Even Luna seemed surprised. "It's
moving...."

Roxy blinked. "It's
moving
..."

"Woaah, dude, look, it's totally
moving."
Hoagie pointed. "Look! Mooov-iing! It totally is!"

Roxy eyed D. J. suspiciously. "Are you pushing?"

"I'm not pushing. Are you pushing?"

"I'm not pushing."

"Don't push," Luna instructed.

"We're not pushing,"
D. J. and Roxy growled.

"I promise I'm not pushing." D. J. said.

"I
know
I'm not pushing," Roxy insisted.

"Both of us are not pushing," they said.

"Just no pushing," Luna whispered.

"WE'RE NOT PUSHING!"

"Wait, look," Hoagie pointed out. "It stopped."

Roxy, grinning at D. J. "Did you stop?"

"I didn't stop," said D. J. quietly. "I wasn't moving it in the first place."

"Where'd it stop?" Hoagie said, leaning in with cautious eyes.

Luna, leaning in as well. "On the word 'Ouija.'"

Roxy scowled. "What kind of lame-o answer is that?"

D. J. shrugged. "I forgot the question."

"Maybe it wasn't finished answering," Hoagie offered. "Or maybe it's confused."

"I knew this wasn't going to work," said Roxy.

"It said 'Yes,'" pointed out Luna.

"What?" said Roxy.

Said Luna, "It did answer you. It said 'Yes.'"

"It did?" Hoagie stared cluelessly at the board. "How do you figure that?"

Luna said, "The pointer's covering the last two letters of Ouija. J-A. Ja. That's German for yes."

Hoagie leaned in even closer. "Really?"

Roxy scrunched up her nose. "She doesn't know."

Luna, with utmost calm, said, "Where do you think the name Ouija came from? 'Oui' -- which is French for 'yes,', and 'ja' -- which is German for 'yes.'"

"Good for the French," Hoagie said.

"And the Germans," D. J. added.

"I'm surprised you didn't know that," Roxy said, pointedly, to D. J.

D. J. shrugged. "I'm just sitting here."

"'Yes-Yes?' What kind of name is that for a game?" Hoagie wondered.

Luna stated, "Well, that's what it is. Don't believe me, then."

"I won't, thank you," Roxy said.

Hoagie said, "Hey, I know. Ask the board."

Luna said, "We just did--"

Hoagie said, "But I mean--"

While they were arguing what "Ouija" meant, D. J. leaned over the board to Roxy, whispering, "Boy, you're cranky tonight."

Roxy answered by sticking her tongue out again.

"I'm telling you," D. J. whispered, "You better watch where you point that thing--"

Hoagie suggested, "Okay, really, ask the board if that's true, the French-German yes-thing--"

Luna replied, "Yeah, that's good. Fine. Do that--"

Roxy scowled, "Fine, whatever, who cares."

D. J. and Roxy repositioned their fingers.

"And don't be touching my fingers," warned Roxy.

"I ain't touchin' your old scabby claws," growled D. J.

"Well, see that you don't--"

"That's cootie-ville. Who knows where they been--"

"Guess where this one's gonna be--"

"Hoa-gie--!"

"Fine, we're asking, already, keep your hose on," Roxy said. Then, to the board: "'Is Ouija French and German for yes?' There. C'mon ... let's concentrate. Yeah. And no pushing."

"Yeah, no pushing," said Hoagie.

"I'm just sitting here," D. J. sighed.

D. J. and Roxy concentrated on the board again. Eventually the pointer moved -- one short move, then it stopped.

"It stopped," said Hoagie. "On the letter 'C.' But that's not even a whole word."

D. J. shook his head. "Rox, wait, don't lift your fingers--"

"I didn't. They slipped. It stopped on its own. I think it's broke. And don't call me 'Rox.'"

Luna commented, "No, it's not broken. It answered your question."

"How?" Hoagie stared at the board. "It's just one letter."

Luna grinned that mysterious grin. "The letter 'C.'
Si
... Spanish for yes."

Hoagie tapped the board suspiciously. "Get out of here."

"You made that up," said Roxy.

Luna just shrugged.

Roxy winced with irritation at D. J. "
You
--you're not allowed to ask any more questions."

D. J. looked around, vaguely. He started to say,
you're the one that asked the question, nitwit
, but stuck with: "I'm just sitting here."

Roxy shooed him. "Not no more, you're not. Move. You're done."

"Fine. Nuts, all of ya. Who cares. I was getting a cramp anyway."

Roxy pushed D. J. away from the board. "Hey. No pushing, remember," he protested, as he wobbled against a dirty box.

Roxy stuck her tongue again.

D. J., mocking, "'Hoa-gie--!' C'mon, man, you're the manager. Man up, here. Manager man."

Roxy glared at Hoagie. "Don't even
dream
of telling me what to do off the clock."

"Fine, fine," D. J. sighed, standing up with a splintery creak. "I need a break anyway."

"Hey," said Roxy, pointing as she also stood up. "If
he
doesn't have to stay,
I
don't have to stay--"

"Copycat,"
cooed D. J.

As D. J. and Roxy jostled to leave, Luna intoned, very calmly, "Well, what everyone seems to be overlooking is... someone's here. In this room. With us."

Everyone looked around, semi-nervously-- except D. J., who made snoring sounds.

Luna pointed out, "You are not taking this seriously."

D. J. rolled his eyes. Roxy gave him a ha-ha-you-got-in-trouble look.

Hoagie, swallowing, said, "Well, if someone's here, we should maybe probably ask him something." He paused a moment. "Like what?"

"Hey, how 'bout this," D. J. offered. "Ask his name. Find out who we're talking to. It's only polite, seein' as you're grillin' him so much." D. J. waved to Roxy. "Let's go, Rox."

A pint-sized glare.

"I mean, Roxy."

"Fine, leave then." Luna quickly arranged the board between her and Hoagie. Roxy grimaced slightly as Luna and Hoagie positioned their fingers close together.

Luna nodded, "Wow, doesn't that give you a chill? I'm chilled."

Hoagie nodded, wide-eyed, "Oh wow. Right."

Luna nodded, "It's a definite chill aura."

Hoagie nodded, "Totally. I'm way chilled."

Roxy, standing in the doorway, made a gagging face.

"Look, it's moving... it's going past the letters," Luna narrated, "... it's searching ..."

Hoagie noted, "It's going off the board ..."

"He's totally pushing it," Roxy hissed to D. J., who
really
didn't care at this point.

Luna, soothing, "Don't push it, now... careful...
careful..."

Hoagie said, "Totally, I'm not, not at all. Wait, look. It stopped on ... Ouija." He gasped. "He's saying... I AM OUIJA."

Luna's eyes widened, her hands touching Hoagie's. "Oh... wow... now I
am
chilled."

Hoagie nodded. "Me, yeah. I'm so totally chilled I can't believe it."

Roxy sighed, muttering, "I'm so totally going to throw up. And you
can
believe
that.
"

"
Totally
chilled," Hoagie nodded.

Roxy yawned exaggeratedly in the background.

Hoagie smiled, inspired. "Hey, maybe we should ask it -- him, her, whoever -- a question that'd prove this is real."

Luna looked wide-eyed. "Yeah, that's a good idea." Eyeing Hoagie silkily. "You have great ideas."

"Thank you." Hoagie's cheeks were reddening.

If steam could shoot out a person's ears... now it was Roxy's face that was reddening. D. J. noticed this, shrank away from her slightly.

Luna soothed. "Just
relax
... keep your long strong fingers
calm
..."

She managed to brush one of her fingers sloooowly against Hoagie's.

Luna grinned. "Relaxing?"

Hoagie: "Uhhhh...yeah. Oh yeah."

Roxy gave D. J. a rueful look. D. J. just shrugged.

Hoagie, wide-eyed, said, "Nothing's happening.

"Take your time." Luna winked. "Got all night."

Roxy's steam was about to blow. "I've gotta go pee," she seethed evenly.

As she turned, she whacked D. J. on the shoulder.

D. J. sighed, rubbing his shoulder. "Huh? Oh. I got to go too. Apparently."

Luna squinted. "Have fun."

Said Hoagie, distractedly, "Uhm, we'll think up some good questions for you two when you, for when you, you know... get back."

Roxy glared. "You
do
that."

She turned on her heel, drilling splinters out of the warped floorboards as she skulked down the hall, tugging D. J. along with her. Hoagie, seeming a bit guilty, started to get up to go after, but Luna gently pulled him back into place.

Luna whispered, silkily. "Concentrate, now." She and her big boobs leaned in close. "Are you ... concentrating?"

Hoagie bit his bottom lip,
very
distractedly. "Uhhhhm, wha?"

Luna nodded gently. "Okay, good...good ..."

She gently traced her finger over Hoagie's, on the pointer.

Her voice dropped even further. "You concentrating? You thinking... hard?" A long arching pause. "
Real
hard?"

Hoagie trembled. Opened his mouth, meant to say something--but only a tiny airy squeak came out. Managing a blink, Hoagie looked down hard--
real
hard--at...

(Many attempt...)

... at ...

(...but only a few reach...
the island of...
)

... Luna Bloodlove's very big boobs.

Then, as if reading either Hoagie's addled mind or his too-tight t-shirt... she whispered silkily...

"'
Only he who does nothing makes no mistakes.'"

~ ~ FIVE ~ ~
Out Somewhat Near The Beach:
Naked, Beautiful, Pissy

She was naked, she was beautiful, she was full-blown pissy as all get-out.

About 5 foot 10, with a face like a teen model--
man, she looked young, hope that ID wasn't faked
--and a body like, well...
just look at it.
A super-model.
Better
than a super-model--she had curves and some meat on her bones--in all the right places, of course. Okay, maybe not a super-model, but
still
--

Those lips, those eyes--ocean green, sky blue--something like that. Who cares, she was major-hot, that was that, and it wasn't just the alcohol either. She was
something.

But man oh man--did she have an attitude.

No denying, she was a real pain in the every-which-what...but, there, for about a moment, laying there across the fake leather seats of the darkened Camaro, out in the moonlight shade of the little curl of a semi-secret hideout parking nook known as "Boner's Point"--just off the road from the beach boardwalk--a smoking hottie by the name of Kirsten was-- it did certainly appear-- more than willing--

But Eddie, well, he just went too far.

"C'mon, you little tease,
don't
--"

And then, well...

...he just went too far.

~ ~ ~

Kirsten kicked--
hard
--placing the thick heel of her hot
real
leather boot securely and precisely in the meaty softness of Eddie's crotch.

The familiar bugging, bulging, surprised betrayed man-eyes ... the hopeless feeble
whooosh
of air pushing through limp, defeated lips... the utter and total deboning, muscle-crimping, stance-melting slump of the body...the wobbling of knees --