Shane and Trey[ Enemies to Lovers 01 ] (27 page)

I brought one of the longer pillows next to me and held it. If I rested the corner edging of the pillow so it slightly touched my nose, I slept better. The tingly sensation reminded me of Trey’s sweet kisses.

Close to drifting off, a knock came at the door. I lurched out of bed, alert. Was it Trey? Two steps toward the door, I slowed down, my stomach fell. Of course it’s not him. He had a key. I hesitated at the door, and turned back. Whoever it was, I wasn’t in the mood.

Halfway to the bed, June’s voice sung through the door. “Shane? I heard you moving in there. Open up.”

I sat and stared at the door. In a worried voice, she called again, “Shane?”

Damn. I couldn’t notanswer her. June had enough troubles, she didn’t need mine added to them. “Uh, I don’t feel well. You’d better not come in here…you might, ah, catch it.”

“I’ll take my chances. Now open up.”

With reluctance, I opened the door. She pushed past me into the room. Glanced at Trey’s freshly unmade bed, keeping her expression neutral, but veered toward my side of the room.

“What’s up, June?”

“I think that’s supposed to by my question.” She reached up and opened the top window, letting in fresh air. “You missed two of our English classes. You didn’t reply to my texts.” She didn’t put her hands on her hips, or waggle her finger, but there was enough ‘mom’ in her tone to make her words a telling off.

“I was busy.” Yeah, busy moping about, or shining up Trey’s senior year basketball trophy. Which now glowed at night, by the way.

June saw right through it and shook her head. “What’s really up? You’re eyes are all puffy, you look like you haven’t shaved and showered for days.”

That’s because I haven’t.“I was just about to.”

“Okay, if you’re not going to open up to me, I’ll just have to give you my opinion.” She took a breath and met my eye. “Trey hasn’t been around. Hasn’t called me lately, though he promised. His phone’s off. You’re living in here like a hermit. Something happened with you guys.”

She reached out. A comforting hand on my arm. And —crack—the story poured out of me. When I got to the part where in, es, she Trey must’ve seen Syd kissing me, she gave a longohhhhh.

She motioned for us both to sit. “Have you been in here since then?”

Yes. Except for my desperate attempts to find him. I didn’t need to say it, she understood. Though just the sight of me was probably a dead giveaway.

“What about work?” “I called in sick. For the week.” Which I was. At least I’d never felt so physically shit. Ever.

“Hmmm. And have you even eaten properly.” “Sure.” I flicked a hand toward the trash can.

“Muesli bars aren’t enough.” She got up, patting my shoulder. “Stay here, I’m bringing you some lunch. Something proper.”

In twenty minutes she was back with stir-fry from the Chinese place close to campus.

“They gave us forks this time.” I smiled briefly, remembering the meal and how long it took to wash out of my hair. We ate and June kept me company until she had to go to class. Once she’d gone, I decided I needed to pull myself more together. I pulled on some sweats and went for a long jog—after three, almost four days the physical exertion offered some relief.

I showered. Shaved. Came back to the dorm room. The half-empty whiskey bottle on Trey’s shelf holding up his math books sent another pang through me. I needed to find him.

I grabbed my keys, it was a ridiculous plan, but at least driving around would feel active. I’d check places I knew he liked to hang out. Maybe he was playing pool?

Just as I shoved one foot in a shoe, another knock came at the door. I scanned the room, was June back already? Had she left something here?

I opened up, and was surprised to see Syd. He carried two takeaway coffees with him. “Here you go.” Stepped into the room and sat on my desk chair. Took a sip of coffee and met my gaze. He looked like his usual self, composed, together, hair tamed. “I wanted to thank you for being there with me until Lucas got there. I think you got the worst of my, ah, reactions. I’m sorry for that. And for being so completely stupid. I mean,” his face reddened, “that kiss didn’t mean anything, you know. I was…was just…I hope Trey won’t kill me.”

I lowered my gaze and kicked the shoe back off. Keep calm. It’s not his fault.“Trey’s disappeared. I think he saw that kiss and got the wrong idea.”

Syd paused mid sip. “What?” He rested the cup on my desk. “Oh, shit. God, I’m so sorry. I feel awful. I never should have…I don’t know what I was thinking. I…is there something I can do, or…?”

I shook my head. “No. I just hope to sort this all out soon. If only I could reach him.”

“He’s not picking up?” “No. He’s not answering my emails either.”

“But did you explain it in the emails?” I gave him a look. “Okay, dumb question. But surely he would understand? He has to be somewhere he can’t check his mail. Crashing in another dorm room, perhaps? Hmm, but there’s always internet access in the library.”

Internet access. The words hit me like a slap in the face. “Oh my God, I know where he is.” How could I not have thought of that earlier? It was the perfect retreat. “He’s gone camping.”

I explained about the hike we’d taken last weekend as I rested the coffee on top of my dresser and grabbed a daypack. I began stuffing things in it. I’d need to buy some water and something to snack on, but I could get that on the way.

Syd took my pack away. “I can’t let you go hiking now. It’s already past five. Once you drive out there it’d be much too dark to walk four hours. Just wait until tomorrow, Shane.”

My muscles tensed. I wanted to rip the bag from him and be on my way. But he had a point. “Fuck it. Every minute he thinks I’ve betrayed him hurts like hell. How must he be feeling right now? This is all shit.”

Syd placed the bag on the desk chair and faothe so soced me. “I’m truly, truly sorry for you. But go first thing tomorrow morning. Be safe.”

I gave a slow nod. He was right. Dammit. Picking up the coffee again, I drank. What would I do to pass the evening away?

 

“Did you want to come out to theBuymebarwith Lucas and I?”

 

“No thanks. I’m not in the best mood, I—another time?”

“Sure.” And then, because I was curious what Lucas’s reaction had been, and possibly I was searching for hope, I asked, “How did Lucas take it when you told him you kissed me?”

“Well, it was different from what you’ll have with Trey. I got to explain the circumstances first”—he paused—“and it possibly helped that he saw just how much of a train wreck I was. He understood, though wished he’d been there earlier —not just for the kiss bit, but for the whole thing. He didn’t like how useless he felt. But he is extremely thankful I had you there with me.” Syd smiled. Good to see he was better. “And so am I. You’re an awesome friend and person.”

Opening the door to let himself out, he added, “If you need anything, give me a shout.”

I moved over to my day pack and rested it on the floor. Tomorrow. I pulled out my cell and set the alarm for five. An almost empty battery flashed in the top corner of the screen.Better charge it. Don’t want to miss the wake up call.I opened my bedside table drawer where I kept the charger. Out with the tangled cord came a small slip of paper. I plucked it up and rested it on top of the notepad I had in there. I paused, fingers resting on it. Then lifted it out and flipped through the first couple of pages.
Until I reached the notes of that ‘R’ rated song I’d started the same evening Trey and I got together. I read over them. Yeah, true I loved the sexy bits with Trey, but—I grabbed a pen. There was so much more. Carried away, I churned out paragraph after paragraph of what I felt about him.

As I finished, an idea formulated in my mind. I rummaged through my desk things, and then Trey’s until I found a workable highlighter. Using it, I highlighted key phrases. Words that meant the most.

With my phone plugged in, I rang Syd. He picked up on the second ring. “Shane? You alright?”

 

I nodded. “Ah, yes. Look, actually, there is something you could do for me…”

 

After clarifying what I wanted, I rang June and told her the plan.

“Okay,” she said, “you have to let me help, though. While you’re doing your thing, I’ll make sure he gets there.” I crossed my fingers it would all work out.Because it might not.“But, Shane… Dad is here on Saturday morning. Please don’t miss it.” Pause. “Please?”

“If things don’t go well with Trey, he’ll have to understand.” “Just try, okay?”

 

“I will.” I think, maybe, Iwantedto. And not just for June’s sake.

 

***

At quarter past five, I was in my car. Exactly forty-five minutes later, making it six on the dot, I arrived at the parking lot to the hiking trail. I tightened the laces on my running shoes, strapped the day pack firmly around me, clipping at the chest and waist, and began at a jog through the grove. I figured I could run a good 8 miles and walk the rest of the way. I could get there in just over two hours.

The first half-hour I ran without seeing anyone. Slap, slap, slurp, my feet hit the earthy floor, sometimes in muddy puddles. I would be caked in dirt by the time I got there. Didn’t matter, keep moving.

My breathing came hard and fast as I went up the steady incline. Muscles ached, and I only stopped long enough for some water. At the highest point, voices greeted me. I slowed down as I weaved through the children. Their parents came up behind slogging their tent and packs. They waved politely, and I stopped. Puffing, I asked them if they’d seen anyone of Trey’s description at the camping grouothet try, oknds.
“Yeah, tall fella,” the dad said. “Helped us gut some fish. Didn’t want any to eat though. Looked a bit sick if you ask me.”

I hurried a thanksas I took off. Faster than before. I had to slow down.Pace yourself. Thirty minutes and an unforgiving stitch later, I conceded to a walk. Chewed on some power bars and drank most of my water. Sweat slickened my skin, cooling me quickly in the shaded wood. I pulled on a top and increased my speed. Checking my clock, I’d been on the path two hours.Not long now.

Crunch. Crunch. How many leaves had I stepped on already? How many more till I got there? Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.
The path widened. Streams of light filtered through the now sparse wood.Somewhere here Trey had taken me to unbury a token of his past. He’d shared that moment.The thought made me warm and cold at the same time. I hurried my step.Need to explain. Make things right again.

My breathing hitched as through the last of the trees I saw his tent. My heart beat hard in my chest, a moment of nerves had me frozen to the spot, I readied myself and moved over to his Tent.

“Trey?” I whispered. Would he still be sleeping? Should I perhaps wait until he’d gotten up? I didn’t want to scare him.

The tent door was partially open and I peeked inside. Empty. I straightened and surveyed the camping ground. My gaze landed on a figure by the lake skimming stones. Trey.

I stepped from behind his tent and made my way across the grass and over the pebbles toward him.

 

In a soft tone, I called, “Trey…” Chapter Twenty

THE SILENCE WENT on way too long. Dammit, say something more.“Trey…” Again I lost my voice. The words in my head evaporating as his saddened face turned to me. For a moment lightness gleamed in his eyes, but it quickly settled into confusion.

He stared at me, his mouth partially opened, a frown deepening.

Despite being out in the open air, I felt enclosed—in a place entirely too small that it suffocated my purpose. My words. Apology.Talk now! Say something. Explain.

I sucked in a breath. Hoped it would help. “Trey—”

“Shane?—” we both spoke at once. Then both hesitated to allow the other one to continue.But it’s me that needs to speak.I nodded to myself and stepped closer to Trey. I winced inwardly when he took one back.
“This is all a misunderstanding,” I said. “What you saw, or think you saw…it wasn’t like that.”

“And what did I see then? Tell me how that kiss was an accident, because I’ve tried to come up with ways to make it not true, Shane, but I can’t. I was right there. I saw it. You didn’t even try to push away…”

The air felt heavy, threatening to rob my breath. “No, I didn’t. Because I was too shocked. I hadn’t expected that. But I also didn’t return the kiss, Trey.” I took another step toward him and was relieved when he didn’t step back. He seemed nervous. Unsure. But—and I hope I wasn’t reading this wrong—hopeful.

I scanned the shore until my gaze rested on an old log. I motioned towards it and Trey moved over. Unsaid confirmation we were going to talk.

“Syd was very—extremely upset.” I heard the defensiveness in my voice. The almost whining,believe me, believe me.I took a deep calming breath. Trey is listening. I tried to detail Syd’s background sufficiently without going into too much detail, leading to that morning in the hospital. “So, he was a wreck. He didn’t stop to think when he pulled me into that kiss. He just…he wanted to know his father would love him no matter what. He didn’t want to have to feel afraid anymore. It meant nothing more than that. For both of us.”
Another silence settled over us. Even tg groat. For bhe rustling of the trees tapered off.Please say something.

He sighed, picked up a smooth stone wedged under the log and threw it at the lake. It made a small splash at the edge.

“I didn’t know how much you liked me, Shane. I knew you found me attractive. I knew you liked me even. I just. I thought maybe I was wrong about how much. And then the next morning I saw you kissing him.” Adams apple bobbed up and down working at hiding the hurt. The next morning? I skimmed through the events the evening before the kiss. The toothbrush incident. Trey’s opening up about his aunt. And then—oh. Dammit. My response. My failure to return those words to him.

And as if to confirm it, Trey continued, “You know what hurt most, what”—he pressed his chest—“had this terrible pressure was the thought I wanted this ‘us’ more than you did.”

I didn’t like how he spoke in the past tense. Did it mean he didn’t want an ‘us’ anymore? My heart raced as I stared at him.

He looked down at the turned up earth at his feet, grinding his heels into it. “But then you turned up here. I actually thought I was dreaming at first.” The smallest smile kissed the side of his lips. “The moment I saw you, I knew I was wrong. Had overreacted. I do mean something to you. Have to. In that second the pressure in my chest just disappeared. But I was still confused at that kiss.”