Shame (Ruin #3) (22 page)

“Which is?”

“Healing,” I said softly. “Look, I gotta run, but keep me posted.”

“Yeah… just… think about it, Tristan. That’s all I’m asking.”

“I will.” I wouldn’t. I hung up the phone and stared at the meat as it cooked in the pan. The past needed to stay buried, and I’d do anything to keep it that way, just like I’d do anything to keep that smile on Lisa’s face.

I finished cooking the meat and added in all the fixings for tacos. By the time I’d set the table, Lisa walked in, wrapped up in a fluffy towel, an easy smile across her face.

“Have fun?” I asked, matching my grin to hers.

She wrapped the towel tighter around her and plopped onto one of the barstools. “Your pool has two waterfalls.”

“Yup.”

“And a slide.”

“True.”

“And a diving board.”

“You gonna tell me all the things my hot tub has too?”

“I mean, a swim-up bar?” she said, ignoring me. “Can I just live in your pool forever?”

“Hmm…” I leaned forward bracing my hands on the counter. “…that depends. You gonna turn into a mermaid and go topless?”

Her eyes narrowed. “No.”

I shrugged. “Sorry, no deal.”

“Perv.”

“No.” I chuckled and pointed at myself. “Honest man.”

She laughed with me. “Okay fine. That’s a valid point. At least you didn’t lie and say it was okay only if I wore a one piece and sombrero.”

“Yes to the sombrero, no to the one piece.” I shuddered. “Always no to the one piece.”

“Ah, he likes skin.”

“Only yours.”

I fought to keep my mouth from falling open as she dropped the towel lower, giving me an enticing view of her skin.

“Only yours.”

Her face flushed. She looked at the food and pointed. “So, tacos? Who told you?”

“Told me…” I raised my hands in a show of innocence. “…that you hated tacos? Shit, do you hate tacos?”

She grinned and started piling up her plate. “Nope, I love them. Next to pizza, best food ever created.”

“Thank God, you’re not a vegan, organic-loving, soy milk drinker.”

Lisa popped a chunk of ground beef in her mouth. “Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m more of a cheese-loving, hamburger-eating, whole-milk-drinking, potato chip cruncher.”

“Chip of choice?”

“Lay’s Sour Cream and Onion.” She rolled her eyes. “Like there’s any other choice.”

I nodded my approval. “And cheese?”

“All cheese. That’s not even a real question. You should know this by now.”

“Hamburger? With onions or without?”

“With, but I like the little crunchy ones that are fried and tend to permanently find their way onto your hips.”

“Yeah, I hate that.” I winked.

Lisa rolled her eyes and loaded up two tacos with sour cream. “And you?”

“Doritos… ranch.” I rubbed circles on my stomach and lifted my eyebrows in teasing. “Though I’ll eat anything with a crunch.”

Lisa paused before biting into her taco and chewing. “So you’d eat a crunchy spider or snail?”

“Only if I was dared…” I started making my own tacos. “And only if they had ranch on them.”

“Cheese?”

“Gouda.”

“Snob.”

“You know this about me. Plus, Gouda always has the best labels, all expensive cheeses do.”

“Hopeless.” Lisa took another bite and wiped her mouth. “What about you? Hamburgers with or without onions?”

“Am I with you?”

“Umm… sure.”

“No onions.” As Lisa chuckled, her smile had me staring at her mouth for a good few seconds before I responded. “Or give me onions. Since you’ll be eating them, it wouldn’t make a difference anyway. I’d still kiss you… and I’d still really enjoy it.” And that was the truth.

That was the last of the food talk. Lisa averted her eyes and chewed while I tried to wrack my brain for more ideas to keep her with me rather than drop her back at the school.

From her purse came the sound of her ringtone. Damn it. I hated phones. Always interrupting things, interrupting us. I wondered if she’d be pissed if I threw her entire purse into the pool and took her with me, stopping all interruptions for good.

She wiped her hands on the napkin and pulled out her phone. After reading through it, she groaned. “Ugh, Jack.”

Every nerve jumped to high alert as I cleared my throat. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” She typed something into her phone. “He wants to meet tomorrow morning again about the project.”

“Just out of curiosity.” I worded the question carefully. “How often have you guys been meeting?”

“Just twice.” She put her phone back in her purse. “I think we have the basis for our project outlined and ready to go… at least I hope so. I hear this professor’s a tight-ass.”

“How nice of you to notice.” I winked.

At her blush, I grabbed the dishes and started cleaning up, needing the distraction that cleaning would give me so I didn’t do something regrettable, like throw caution to the wind and jump over the table and attack her with my mouth.

Lisa started helping me with putting things away.

The kitchen was cleaned up way too fast.

I had half a mind to spill stuff out of the fridge, just so she’d stay longer in order to help me clean it up.

“So.” Lisa folded her arms across her chest. “What now?”

“I can take you back…” I really hated saying that out loud. “…or you could stay the night.”

“Like a totally harmless sleepover?”

“If by harmless you mean we sleep separate and I only think about taking advantage of you, then yeah, totally harmless.”

“So honest.”

“At least I have that going for me, right?”

“I’d say you have a lot more going for you.” Lisa wrapped her arms around my neck and grazed my lips with hers, a whisper of a touch that left me craving something deeper, longer, more passionate. “A lot more going for you.”

“Tacos never tasted so inviting.” I licked the side of her mouth and pressed another hungry kiss against her lips. Moaning, I lifted her up onto the clean countertop, pulled her legs around my hips, and kissed her from a different angle.

Every angle had a taste.

Every kiss was different.

And every time I touched her, I wanted more.

“Harmless sleepover, huh?” She panted against my mouth.

I took a step back and cursed. “Right, so I’ll just lock my door.”

“Again.” She grinned.

I rolled my eyes and helped her off the counter. “Yeah again.” I gripped her hand and led her down the hall into the theatre room. “So what movie?”

“Anything.” Lisa yawned and sat down in one of the chairs. “Actually, anything but one of those psychological thrillers.”

I winced. “Alright,
Dumbo
, it is.”

“Saddest Disney movie ever.”

“I think you’re confused with
Up
.”

Shaking her head, Lisa ignored me. “Those animals were bastards to him!”

“There wasn’t even any dialogue, just the old man and woman holding hands.”

“And they made fun of him all the time for being different!”

“He never took that trip… never had the chance. Damn mailbox.”

“His poor mom!” Lisa punched the chair. “At least he ended up flying.”

“And then the little boy ended up saving him.”

We shared a look. Lisa burst out laughing and covered her face with her hands. “Okay fine.
Up
it is.”

“Now I’m kind of in the mood for
Dumbo
.”

Her eyes heated. “Sad, I thought you were going to say something else.”

My body hummed to life as I hovered over her chair. “Oh yeah, what’s that?”

She leaned up and kissed my chin. I stifled a groan. “Butter… smothered over popcorn.”

“Say smother again.”

“Smother.”

“Done.” I pressed a kiss to her mouth. “You load the DVD of your choice…” I tossed her both movies. “…and I’ll go smother your popcorn.”

“Talk dirty.”

Laughing, I made my way out of the room thinking to myself how normal it was… not just normal, but how wonderful it was.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

Erica. Again.

I hit ignore.

If she wasn’t getting the hint now… she never would. As I waited for the popcorn to finish, I had a sudden feeling of home. What if I stayed? What if I ran the company from the Seattle office? What if I stayed… for her? What if I stayed?

I wanted to.

For as long as she wanted me, I would stay.

Dread tried to make me doubt that choice because there would always be him in between us. But I wasn’t going to let it ruin what could be something so beautiful.

He’d ruined her before, and I’d be damned if he ruined her again.

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

I didn’t watch the news for fear I’d be on it. The crazy thing? Nobody called me. The cops didn’t contact me; nobody did. It was as if that past didn’t exist. When I got to Seattle, I had my parents’ lawyers work on taking the website down. In the end, it was nearly impossible to get all the videos down. I was surprised the website was even still up, but later we found out it had changed domains to outside the US. I remember shivering, thinking, wow, Taylor really did have it all planned, didn’t he? His memory lived on through Shame; it lived on every day through me, and I hated him for it —
Mel

Lisa

C
OLORS AND CHARACTERS
flashed across the screen as the movie played. My eyes were so heavy it was impossible to keep them open long enough to actually watch what was going on. I startled myself out of a doze probably four times before I finally gave in and snuggled against Tristan’s firm chest. The steady beat of his heart was my lullaby. His hand dipped into my hair, twisting and tugging, making me relax even further. Before I knew what was happening, I was asleep.

He woke me up around two in the morning; the only reason I knew was because of the clock on the wall.

“I don’t want to move,” I grumbled.

Tristan shifted next to me and then pulled me tighter into his lap. “Then stay.”

“Ask me again.”

“Stay, Lisa…” He kissed my forehead. “…with me.”

I sighed happily against him and murmured, “I really like you.”

“Yeah, well… I really like you too.”

“Should we make necklaces or something? I can wear your tight-ass professor jacket to school… prove to everyone we’re going steady”

Tristan’s warm chuckle had me smiling. I kept my eyes closed. “It would only make sense.”

“Does that mean you’re going to label us?”

“Yeah.” Tristan tucked my hair behind my ear and kissed my cheek. “I think I’ll type in the word
girlfriend
and slap it onto your face. That way, there’s no confusion.”

“Better put whose girlfriend.”

“That’s easy…” He hugged me tighter. “Mine.”

“Yours.” I smiled again. “I like the sound of that.”

“Yeah, that makes two of us.”

I fell asleep after that, unable to keep my eyes open any longer. The next morning we barely had time to scarf down breakfast before Tristan drove me back to campus.

He gave me a hungry kiss before ushering me out of the car; both of us had meetings, though mine I wasn’t exactly thrilled to be having.

“So…” Jack’s voice nearly had me tripping over my own feet as I reached my dorm. I turned around and squinted against the sun. “Is it just me, or is our professor taking a really special interest in you?”

“It’s you.” I rolled my eyes. “I have to grab a few things. Why are you so early all the time?”

“Part of my charm.” He grinned. “Can I come up with you? Sorry, I just really have a headache, and the damn Seattle sun is killing my eyes. Promise I won’t make a sound. I just want to lie on your couch and forget the fact that I actually don’t need my umbrella today.”

I hesitated for a minute then realized I was being rude. “Um, sure.”

“Awesome.”

We walked in silence up the stairs and into my room. I pointed to the couch and dropped my keys onto the table. Jack went over and made himself at home, punching the throw pillow and closing his eyes like he really didn’t feel well.

“Do you need ibuprofen or anything?”

“Is it laced with opiates?”

“Um, no.”

“Then I’m good.” Jack flashed me a smile and closed his eyes.

“Okay, well, I’m just going to hop into the shower really quick, and then I’ll be ready.”

He lifted his hand into the air, waving me off. “Take your time.”

I grabbed my bathrobe and ran into the bathroom. It was weird that he was in my room, but I tried not to overthink it. He’d been nothing but nice and protective, and it was totally wrong for me to assume that he was anything but a good guy.

I showered, dressed, brushed my teeth, ran my hands through my messy hair, put on a baseball cap, and managed to swipe on some mascara — all within fifteen minutes.

“Lisa?” Jack’s muffled voice came from the main room.

I shut my bedroom door and ran out. “What’s up?”

Jack was completely white, like he’d seen a ghost. “I’m not trying to freak you out more, and I’m pretty thankful I’m here right now, all things considering, but I think you should look at this.” He held up a newspaper clipping. Angry red markings had been scribbled across it:
Your fault!

I read the caption,
“Young man jumps off bridge, falls to his death.”

Feeling sick, I took a step back and covered my mouth so I wouldn’t puke all over the place. My stomach dropped to my knees.

“Hey, hey,” Jack came around and draped his arm over my shoulders then guided me to the couch. “Sit down, it’s okay. It’s going to be fine.”

“Where…” I croaked. “Where was that?”

“Taped to the inside of your door.”

“
Inside
of my door?”

“Yeah.” Jack nodded. “I didn’t notice it until I looked up from my nap. Whoever put it there...” His voice trailed off.

“I have to move.” I shook my head. “I mean, my place has been broken into, the hate mail... I have to move.”

“Probably not the worst idea I’ve heard all day.” Jack gave an innocent and semi goofy shrug. “You want to go report it?”