Shallow (27 page)

He held me tight and I let him. I needed to have him close, even if it was only for a minute before I let him go forever.

He pushed my hair away from my neck and brought his mouth to my ear. Even with him standing behind me, the smell of beer on his breath was stout. “Can’t you see I would do anything to be your everything?”

“My
everything
wouldn’t be having babies with other girls.” I felt a sob building in my throat. “So since I’m not your everything, how about I’ll be nothing at all to you?”

He kissed the back of my neck and rubbed his hands over my stomach. “You are my everything and I don’t want babies with anyone but you. I want to put them inside you and then watch them grow right here.”

I laced my fingers through his and savored the moment briefly before I pushed his hands away. “You’re drunk.”

He turned me around to face him and his eyes were glazed over. “I may be drunk, but I know exactly what I’m saying. I want to marry you and have lots of babies...little blond headed ones with honey eyes just like their mother.”

He started kissing my neck and I felt myself melting under his touch. He lifted me onto the hood of my car and then pressed his body against my parted legs. “I love you, Payton, and I don’t want to live without you.”

This was his game and he was damn good at it so I had to get away before I gave in and got naked with him in the backseat of my car. I pushed him away and slid off the hood. “No, we’re not doing that. You’re not gonna kiss me and turn me on to make me forget what you’ve done. You have a baby out there with another girl. That’s a problem for me because I’m going to be the one to give my husband his first child. Me, not some random whore.”

I opened my car door and got inside. “I should have known when you swept me off my feet that I was in the perfect position for you to drop me on my ass.”

28 Chokehold

Nick

I just watched my whole world drive away.

I walked back inside the pool hall and went back to the table where my buddies were sitting. They looked at me waiting for an explanation, but I didn’t have one to give them.“Everything okay?”

No, nothing was okay without Payton in my life. I stared blankly at the beer I had not finished when she came in. Why had she come here? Had she come to talk things over and then changed her mind when she saw Samantha in my lap kissing me?

Luke snapped his fingers in front of my face. “What happened, Dude?”

Samantha walked up to our table looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. “Please, allow me to explain, boys.”

I stared dumbfounded at her. I had no idea what she was about to announce, but it was clearly making her happy. “The
Playah
got played. That’s what happened. I set you up, Nick.”

“What are you talking about?”

She motioned across the room. “I believe you met my cousin, Brandi, earlier today.”

I turned around and saw the girl that was at my house claiming to be the mother of a baby belonging to me. “You’re cousins?”

“Tell me Nick, what does it say about one’s character when a complete stranger shows up at your door and tells you they had your baby and you don’t know the difference because you’ve screwed so many girls?”

“I’ve never met her?

“Luckily for Brandi, no.”

“Why would you do this?”

“You screwed me and I returned the favor. Do you need me to elaborate further on that?”

I slammed my palm against the table and made the beer mugs clank against the surface. “You just caused me to lose the only girl I have ever loved.”

“Luckily for me, she thinks the worst of you and wouldn’t believe you or these tools you call friends if you told her what actually happened. So, take some time to reflect upon your feelings and do a little soul searching. You might find that you might have one after all.”

≈ ≈ ≈

My head was killing me and I definitely needed to take something for it, but what could I take for the pain of losing Payton? There was only one cure for that and it was unobtainable because she believed I had a baby with a stranger and I had no way of proving otherwise.

I heard a gentle knock on my door, so I knew it was Dallas. “Come in.”

She was the one they called to come get me at the pool hall last night and I knew she was checking in on me because she saw how plastered I was. She slowly opened the door and came in with two pain killers and a glass of water. “I thought you might need these this morning.”

She was always so thoughtful. Thank God she wasn’t like Jake. “Thanks, my head is pounding.”

“Do you want to talk about what happened?”

I explained about the girl and her accusation on down to how Samantha had set the whole thing up. “Dallie, I have no way of proving I didn’t get this girl pregnant because there isn’t going to be paternity papers saying I didn’t.”

“Just tell Payton the truth.”

“I tried to tell her about Samantha last night and she didn’t believe me. She knows what she saw and I can’t convince her otherwise. She’s definitely not going to believe me about that baby.”

“So, you’re just going to give up? Just like that?”

“What other choice do I have? I can’t prove anything so I should face reality. My past just put my future in a chokehold and snuffed the life out of it.”

≈ ≈ ≈

It had been a week, 7 whole days, since I saw Payton and I had never been more miserable in my life. If I had any sense, I would stop asking Dane about her when he came to see Dallas, but I guess I was a masochist in that way and I just couldn’t stop myself.

I didn’t even have to ask him anymore. He automatically had a report waiting for me each time he came to the house and tonight was no different.

She wasn’t seeing anyone and that helped my feelings minimally. Dallas was getting fed up with Dane’s reports because she thought I was being a dumb ass about the whole thing. “You’re an idiot. Stop asking him about her if you’re not going to try to get her back.”

“I can’t.”

“Which is it? You can’t stop asking him about her or you can’t try to get her back.”

“Both.” I got up and headed for the door because we had beat this dead horse enough and I had somewhere to be. “I’ve got a race in half an hour so I’ve gotta split. Ya’ll coming tonight or what?”

“Hell, yeah, we’re coming. Your sister never misses and I’ve got five hundred bucks on you, Dude. I’ll be there to get my money.”

“I’ll see you there then.”

I drove down Main Street on my way to The Strip for the race and got stopped at
our
red light...the one where Payton ran into the back of my car and made me fall in love with her. I smiled as I remembered the way the whole thing happened and I laughed when I thought about her asking if she could swipe her credit card up my ass crack. I missed her smart ass mouth.

I pulled up at the start line next to my opponent, some community college guy in a suped up black Mustang GT, and I was thoroughly unimpressed unless he was hiding something under that hood I didn’t know about. I got out and we did our usual sizing each other up thing. I hung with my pals and he hung with his. Yada yada.

I saw Samantha Hodges making a move on my opponent and knew it was her psychotic way of trying to make me jealous. It was really too bad that she was going to give her body to someone that cared nothing about her because she thought she would gain vengeance against another guy that cared even less about her. Not only was she a slut; she was a dumb one, too.

The GT was nothing more than a pony. I couldn’t really even get excited about the whole thing because the guy was such an amateur. I almost felt bad taking the money. Almost. Besides, he was getting Samantha so he wouldn’t be leaving completely empty handed.

I got out of the car and felt a twinge of hope when I saw Jessie and Claire in the crowd around my car. I immediately began searching every face for Payton but found no sign of her.

“She didn’t come.”

At least we weren’t gonna beat around the bush about it so I didn’t try to insult Claire’s intelligence by pretending I didn’t know what she meant. “Where is she?”

I knew it wasn’t my business, but that didn’t keep me from wanting to know. “She’s at her house waiting on Cooper to come over so they can talk.”

Oh, hell no. Say it wasn’t so. “Why is Cooper going to see Payton? He has a girlfriend.”

“Not anymore. He broke up with Allie because he said he wants Payton back.”

That son of a bitch probably knows Payton and I were sleeping together so he thinks he’ll have a better chance at getting in her panties now. “Is she gonna take him back?”

Claire shrugged and gave me her
idunno
face. “She doesn’t have a reason not to.”

Wrong. “Uh...yeah, she does. How ‘bout cause he’s a total dickhead?”

“Well, he wouldn’t be the only one now, would he?” I couldn’t argue with her on that. “You know what, Nick? I liked you a lot better when you were messing up her lip gloss instead of her mascara.”

God, it killed me to know I was the reason for her tears, even if I was completely innocent of the things she thought I did.

“And you know what else? Right now, that dickhead is telling her everything she should be hearing from you.”

I should have tried again to tell her the truth. I shouldn’t have given up so easily. “I screwed up big time.”

“Ya’ think? You more than screwed up, Bro. She’s been devastated.” Claire hit me in the arm with her fist as hard as she could. “I told you to be the right guy and you hurt her. I should jerk your balls up over your ears.”

Jessie died out laughing. “Be careful, Dude. I’m pretty sure she could do it.”

That’s probably exactly what I deserved. “Can I fix this?”

“I don’t know, but how will you know if you don’t try?”

I turned and ran for my car. “Hey, what’s the plan, Stan?” I heard Claire call out behind me.

I turned and ran backwards as I answered so I wouldn’t lose more precious time with Payton. “I’m going to get my girl.”

I raced down the highway toward Franklin praying the whole way that Payton hadn’t decided to comply with Cooper’s previous ultimatum or any new ones he might have come up with. My mind raced, imagining every possible scenario. Would she give in to him? Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have thought so but I had hurt her and she could potentially be looking for a way to ease that pain. I knew all too well what it was like to look for comfort in anyone willing to offer a little to you.

I parked my car on the street in front of her house and ran across the lawn even though the sprinklers were on. I rang the doorbell with one hand while I beat against the glass part of the door with my other hand. “Payton!”

Vivian answered the door with a smirk on her face. “You’re too late. She left with Cooper five minutes ago and they didn’t look like they’d be coming back any time soon. Sorry.”

29 Tangible Thoughts

Payton

3 Weeks Later

It was Friday night in a college town and I sat alone in the apartment I shared with Claire while she and Jessie were out celebrating their one year anniversary. He told me he had something special planned for her, but wouldn’t tell me what it was because he didn’t trust me to keep it to myself. Imagine that. He thought I had a big mouth.

I totally expected her to come home with an engagement ring on her finger.

I settled into my now hollowed out spot on the sofa with a half gallon of rocky road to watch some stupid reality show about finding love. Really? If you couldn’t find love in the real world, were you really expecting to find it on some stupid television show? Apparently these 24 people thought so.

I was only a few bites of ice cream in when there was a knock on the door. Great. I hoped it wasn’t that weirdo from next door again.
Too many freaks and not enough circuses.

I eased over to the window and slowly pulled up on the blind’s slat to see who my guest was because I wasn’t opening the door up to that weirdo. It was Dallas Hawke.

Fear was the first emotion I felt when I saw Nick’s sister at my door. Something had to be wrong and my mind raced with the possibilities. He must have had a wreck during a race. That had to be it, or he had shot himself with one of those stupid guns or those guys had jumped him again because he wouldn’t throw a race.

I quickly swung the door open and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears as I felt the sensation of pulsating blood in my face. My stomach became fluttery like I was going to be sick. “What’s wrong, Dallas? What’s happened to him?”

She smiled when I opened the door and I felt a small amount of relief. “Nothing has happened, at least nothing new. I’m just here to talk about him.”

I felt relief wash over me. “Please, come in.”

She walked through my door and we hugged each other as though we hadn’t seen each other in years. She squeezed me hard and groaned. “It’s good to see you. I’ve missed having you in the kitchen with me and Ginny. She’s a slave driver without you there to help me.”