Shadows (8 page)

"Matt and I were sitting at the table. I
thought things were going great, besides the sudden surprise of him
possibly moving away. He told me he loved me, Kayla. He told me
he's always loved me. The focus on school and then his career, they
were all for me. He was hoping to impress me, I guess. He wanted me
to love him back. He said I was looking for love like I find in my
books, and that maybe I was missing what was right in front of me."
I'm crying so hard, I'm not even sure anyone can understand me.
Kayla passes me some tissues and squeezes my hands. Theron has
stopped twirling my hair. I'm not sure if he's shocked or mad at
me.

Wiping my tears away, I continue, "He said I
was his person. He told me we each have one special person we were
made to love. I was his. Then he lent down and kissed me. I freaked
out and I ran outside. I was leaning against the building and Matt
came out to talk to me. The next thing I knew, he was arguing with
some drunk. Matt told him to fuck off and pushed him. I tried to
pull Matt away. He shrugged me off and I lost my balance. I don't
know where he came from, but Theron caught me. I looked over back
at Matt, and I thought he was going to walk away. I thought he was
going to go back inside, but then that fucking drunk lunged at him
with a knife. I watched him fall. I watched the snow and slush
around me turn red. I held his head in my lap. He looked right into
my eyes, Kayla. He said 'I love you, Eve. You, only you. You're my
person.' I promised him I would love him forever if he opened his
eyes. I fucking promised him and he died on me! It's all my fault.
If I wouldn’t have ran off…he died because of me!"

I'm hysterical, hurt, and pissed off. I'm
screaming out in pain. I have no idea what I am saying anymore.
Kayla is looking at me like she's scared out of her mind. She's
sobbing and screaming for my parents. Theron slides on to the couch
and holds me on his lap. He's trying to comfort me, but I just keep
slapping his chest. I don't know how anyone is tolerating me right
now and I don’t care. I just want to die. Robert comes rushing into
the room yelling at Theron to let go of me. He's screaming at him
to leave. Kayla and my mom are screaming at Robert. Paul is just
standing there in complete shock and my dad rushes to my
side.

"Sweet pea, stop hurting him. He didn't do
this to you. You need to stop." Grabbing my wrists in his hands, he
pulls me towards him. I cry as my dad lifts me off of Theron. "I'm
going to put her to bed. Everyone is welcome to stay if they want,
but the next person to make my sweet Evelyn cry like this will
answer to me. I don't know what you people did, but she's broken.
You will let her be." He carries me to my old bedroom, setting me
on the bed. "Sweet pea, what happened in there? I know you are
hurting right now and I wish I could take it all away for you,
sweetie, I really do. That wasn't healthy, Evelyn. That wasn't my
girl. Now I don't know this new guy of yours too well, but if he
could take that kind of abuse from you without flinching, then I
know he's a good man."

He tucks me in and I feel like I'm five years
old again. It's a calming feeling. Sighing, he sits by me on the
bed. "Evelyn, you have had it pretty easy. Nothing like this has
happened to you before. You've never had to say goodbye to anyone,
but some goldfish over the years. I have always done my best to
protect you, but I can't protect you from this. I'm so sorry, sweet
pea."

"Daddy, I wish I could make this all go away.
I wish I could bring him back."

"I know, sweet pea, I know…Now as for the
people we left in the other room, what would you like me to do? I
can make them leave or I can send them to find you some ice cream.
Whatever it is you need, I will make it happen."

"I'm okay. Some tea would be nice. Please,
tell Robert to leave Theron alone and could you send Kayla in here
for just a moment? I promise not to freak out like I
did."

"Sure thing." My dad walks out and leaves me
to my thoughts. I need to get a better grip on things. I feel like
I am sinking and right now I am taking everyone else with me. I
close my eyes just for a second and I feel my bed dip.

"I had no idea. None of this is your fault. I
get why you left the bar. I would have too. That's a lot to spring
on a person so suddenly. I kind of thought he had a thing for you,
but neither one of you ever addressed it. I shrugged it off as me
being nosy. If you don't want to go tomorrow, I'll
understand."

Tears are sliding from eyes into my hair. I
don't have the energy to sit up. "Kayla, I love you. You have been
my best friend since kindergarten. I just don't want you to hate
me. Okay?'

"Never, Eve, never. Do you want me to sit here
with you for a while?"

"No, I'll be alright. Go be with Paul. I'm
sure he thinks I'm bat shit crazy."

Kayla lets out a little laugh. "You have now
raised the bar for crazy."

"God, you're such a bitch."

"And you love me for it. I'm going to go check
on Paul." She leans over and places a kiss on my forehead. I'm so
glad I have her.

"Hey, Kayla before you go, could you ask
Theron to come in here? I wouldn’t be surprised if he left after
that. I just want to apologize for losing my shit."

She nods her head at me. I hope I didn't
offend her by asking for him. I just really want to breathe and for
some reason he makes that happen. I'm sitting up in bed when Theron
walks in. Tears start to fall from my eyes before I say anything.
He doesn't say a word. Holding a finger to his lips, he pulls me
into his lap as he sits on my bed.

"Don’t say anything, just nod if we are in
agreement, okay?" I look up at him and nod. Laying my head against
his chest, I breathe him in. He smells so incredibly good. He spins
me in his lap and holds me tight to him. Not being able to get any
closer I wrap my arms and legs around him. I'm clinging to him and
I have never felt safer. "Baby, what happened in there needed to
happen. I don't want you to apologize for any of it. You are
allowed to hurt. I want you to express it however you need to, as
long as you don't get hurt worse in the process, okay?" I nod my
head the best I can without removing it from his neck. "I don't
know what this is between us. I felt it the instant I looked at you
at the laundromat. I can't stay away from you, Eve. My body is
completely drawn to you just like you are drawn to me." I nod
again. This no talking thing is definitely helping me stay calm.
"Eventually I need to go back home for a shower and change of
clothes. You can come with me if you want. I understand if you want
to stay here with your family and friends. The offer stands though,
okay?" I nod my head again. He doesn’t say anything this time so I
look him in the eyes.

"I want to go with you. You help me
breathe."

He closes his eyes and when he opens them, I
swear they are a brighter and more alive. He plants soft kisses
along my mouth. I part my lips willing him to explore my mouth, but
he kisses me softly and holds me tightly to him. "Not here, babe. I
won't disrespect your parents like that." He kisses the top of my
head causing me to sigh and melt into him. I'm so very thankful he
is here with me in this exact moment. "Your mom made some pasta for
dinner. She said it's ready if you're hungry." I nod my head and
Theron stands up as I slide down his front. I'm still amazed he can
hold me up like I'm nothing.

"Theron?"

"What's wrong, babe?"

"Nothing, I just need to get my car
eventually."

"Consider it done. I'll talk to Paul and see
if he can grab it for us okay?" Nodding my head, he grabs my hand
as we walk out of the bedroom to join everyone else for
dinner.

Chapter 5

D
inner was quiet. I'm
not sure what anyone could have said to make it less awkward. I
know I lost my shit. I feel overwhelmed and sick to my stomach. I
barely ate. Theron must have known how uncomfortable I felt because
half way through dinner he put his hand on my thigh and I instantly
calmed. I help clean up dinner and I am standing next to the sink
while my mom washes dishes.

"Sweetie, we need to talk." My mom gives me a
knowing look. I knew this was going to happen. I really don't want
to talk about my meltdown. I'd rather not talk at all. "I'm not
sure what happened today, but I know it's a direct result of what
happened last night. I know you are hurting. It's going to get
worse before it gets better. I offered to let Kayla stay here, but
she said she'd rather stay with Paul. I want to offer you the same.
You can stay here as long as you need to. I don't want you to be
alone right now. I'll help you as best as I can." She's wringing
the dish towel in her hands. I love my mom. She always knows what
to say. Sighing I pull out two chairs at the table for us. She
makes us each a glass of tea and sits down next to me.

"Mom, I love you. I really do. I'm sorry I
lost my shit. This is all really fucked up and I broke."

"Evelyn, I know you have better vocabulary
than that. Choose your words better." My mom hates when we use foul
language. I think I've only heard her curse only a couple of times
in my life.

"Sorry, mom." Taking a big breath, I puff my
cheeks out as I release it. How do I explain the last twenty four
hours? I'm not ready to talk about Matt's conversation with me
again. It broke me and I'm not sure I have recovered enough to
survive retelling it. "Mom, I just broke. I can't explain it. I can
hardly breathe. I feel so heavy, like I'm being crushed. I've let
Kayla down and I shouldn't have behaved that way. I don't know how
to handle this." My mom just nods her head at me. She waits for me
to keep going, but I'm not sure what else to say.

"Sweetie, what is Theron?"

"Um, He's Theron. He lives with his grandma.
He's helping take care of her after she had a heart attack." I give
a brief rundown of Theron barely brushing over any details. I'm not
sure what she would think of his upbringing and his grandmother's
estate.

"No, Evelyn. I asked what he is, not who he
is. I'm not blind. He's incredibly gorgeous. I'm assuming from his
mannerisms and the way he looks at you that he's capable of taking
care of you or at least he wants to. What is he to you? Kayla said
you only just met. She seemed shocked that he drove you to the
hospital. Robert had no clue who he was either. I know you guys
talk enough for him to know if you had a boyfriend. So, my question
is what is he? Is he your boyfriend? I want to make sure he's not
taking advantage of you." Taking a sip of her tea, she gently sets
her cup down on the table. She's staring straight at me. I knew
eventually she was going to ask about him, but I was hoping it
wouldn’t be today. I twist my hands in my lap and look up at my
mom. How do I explain Theron?

"I can't explain it, Mom. He came into the
laundromat and I was instantly drawn to him. I mean sure he's good
looking, but when his hand brushed mine it felt like electricity
coursed through my body. I don't know how he ended up at the bar
last night. I was standing outside and I could feel goosebumps
crawl up my body. I lost my balance and he caught me. My body is so
drawn to him. I'm like a moth to a flame." Shaking my head to clear
my thoughts, I look at my mom and she's smiling back at
me.

"I met your dad when I was fifteen. He was
working at the hardware store in town. He was seventeen at the time
and a senior. The rumor around town was he was a bad boy. He was
always in some kind of trouble. My mom was picking out new
wallpaper for her bedroom, when I saw him. He took my breath away.
I couldn't explain it at the time, but if he would have asked me to
run away with him right that second…I would've. He asked me out on
dates a couple times, but my dad always told him no. He told him he
needed to be able to take care of me. Working at a hardware store
part time didn't pay well. Phillip got a job working at a garage.
At first, he was basically responsible for keeping it clean, but
the old man who ran the garage took a liking to your dad. He taught
your dad everything he knows. After a couple of months, Phillip was
working full time and pulling in decent paycheck. He asked me to
accompany him to a movie. I was allowed to go and it was the best
night of my life. Your dad was such a gentleman." Smiling
wistfully, she takes another sip of her tea. "My heart was beating
so hard in my chest I'm sure he could have heard it. That night
when he dropped me off at home he kissed me. My whole body felt
like it was on fire. We were inseparable after that. Once I
finished high school, we got married. Phillip ended up taking over
the garage and eventually we had your brother. I've never said
anything before, because I know it doesn't happen for everyone.
But, Evelyn, I've had fireworks. I still have them. If Theron is
your fireworks, go for it. Just please be careful. Fireworks are
beautiful, but they can burn you.”

I always knew my parents loved each other, but
to hear my mom describe it is something else.

“
So…about my invitation, it's
still open if you want it."

"Um, Theron offered to take me to get some
fresh clothes and stuff. I'm not sure where I am going to stay
tonight. I'm glad to know, if I need to, I can stay here." She pats
my shoulder as she stands to finish the dishes. I sit there for a
few more moments before I feel my skin prickle. I know he's behind
me. It's not just the goosebumps on my forearms giving him away,
but my chest instantly feels lighter. My lungs cool and expand. I
can breathe easier.