Shadowborn (7 page)

“Do you know about Liam’s … heritage?” The wrinkle of Nix’s lips conveyed distaste as if he’d said ‘ugly boil-covered toad’ instead of heritage.

“His father was Seelie, but his mother was the former Unseelie queen before Parthalan took power.” Bile rose in my throat as I wondered what Nix would say if he discovered I had mixed blood, too. “You’ve called him a half-breed.”

“Yeah. And do you know why Liam didn’t automatically take the throne when his mother died?” Nix asked.

“Because Parthalan killed her.”

“Killing the monarch only grants someone the throne if there’s no heir. The Unseelie Sidhe didn’t accept Liam on the throne because of his impurity. The only reason he’s king now is because he killed Parthalan himself, and the former king had no heir.”

Impurity?
Cold washed my flesh. My mother, the former Seelie queen, was mated in secret to an Unseelie by the Goddess after the fae war. Everyone assumed she hid his identity because he was a lesser Seelie and not a member of the other Court. Their dispute over the humans had separated the two Courts centuries before. Joining with someone of the opposite faction, even if blessed by the Goddess herself, was still forbidden. The bonds were unbreakable and eternal unless one of the fae had a gift like mine to force their will on the connection between the souls. It truly fused two souls to become two parts of a greater one—deeper than marriage and even love.

I chewed on my finger while I tried to follow his logic. “Okay, so what does that have to do with anything? Liam is the king now, so …” I gasped, choking on the truth. “Oh, hell. The Unseelie are challenging him for the throne. They’re trying to kill him.”

“Exactly.” Nix made a gesture with his hand as if he wanted me to keep going.

“Isn’t that it?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “How can Liam stop his people from taking the throne from him?”

When the idea struck, I leapt off the bed and held onto one of the wing chairs by the fireplace to keep myself standing. “He has to produce an heir.” I breathed the words, but they still stabbed into my ears like blaring horns.

“An Unseelie heir.”

I shook my head, clenching my jaw until pain answered my effort. “He won’t do that.”

“He will.” Nix rounded the chair.

Holding up my hand, I moved away. “I don’t believe this. What did Neasa mean about the gown?”

Nix looked away, his hands digging deep into his suit pockets.

“Tell me!”

“He’s chosen a queen, Li. The ceremony is in a few days, and as a gesture of good will between our people, the members of our Court are supposed to attend, even though Liam has forbidden it.” Nix uttered a bitter laugh. “Seelie in the Black City. Ludicrous.”

Barely able to draw in air, I collapsed in the chair and put my face in my hands. “When was he going to tell me?” Steel hardening my nerve, I straightened and glared at Nix. “When the fuck were any of you going to tell me the fae I love is getting married?”

“I’ve been begging him for a week to tell you, but he said you didn’t need to know.”

Growing eerily calm, I made a slow ascent to my feet, ambled to my nightstand, withdrew the silver telepathic device Liam had given me and turned it over in my hands. “I guess that’s why he asked me not to use this last month because I’d know what he was planning. He was going to get married and make a baby without telling me.” Furious, I coiled my arm to throw the object, but Nix took it from me and slipped it into his pocket.

“Liam doesn’t see that as something that will stand in his way of being with you. Do you see now? He knew how you’d feel about this, and he kept it from you so you’d keep sleeping with him.”

“Stop! Just shut up!” My snarling tone rattled my control, sending indigo hued stripes of energy dancing along my arms.

“He’s a selfish, arrogant prick. You need to know that everything between you and him is a lie.”

“Yeah? Well, what about you and me, Nix? How much of this is a lie? You told me the day I got here that you chose to be my captain long before you met me. Why, Nix? Even that first day, you looked at me with those dreamy eyes. You act as though you care for me, but I don’t buy it, not entirely. I need to know why you wanted to be close to me. Is it just so you can make sure I don’t reunite the Courts?”

“No!” Hurt dragged against his voice. “I … I wanted to make a difference to our people. What better way than to protect my queen? I love you, Li. Can’t you see that?”

“Dammit.” A fleeting sting of guilt washed over me and evaporated again.

The more I thought of Liam’s deception, the hotter and faster my blood pumped through my veins. I growled and sent my Force of Will through the floor. The chairs exploded into splinters and shreds of fabric. A snicker of glee poured from my lips. A buzz of ecstasy lit up my muscles. I raised my arms, riding the current of power that teased my hair to fly around my head.

Nix spread his arms out. Only his shadow permeated the red haze in my vision. Laughing through my tears, I let the black fire rage through me, let it intoxicate me until rational thoughts evaporated, until the pain in my soul eased, and nothing but emptiness and a desire for destruction inhabited my conscious thought.

“Listen to me.” Nix’s mellow voice reached me as a tinny whisper. “This is not who you are. Remember what Parthalan did to your family. Remember how hard you fought to survive. You’re upset, but don’t use that as an excuse to give in. Don’t let him win.”

He grabbed me by the upper arms, summoned his Light and tore my dress off my shoulders. Upon his hand contacting my bare skin, his energy pushed its way into me like heat through a block of ice, forcing me back into my own head.

I gasped when he picked me up and carried me to the bed. He tore his shirt off and lay down next to me, spooning along my back. The skin-on-skin contact set his Light against my dark, dampened my murderous desires and reminded me who I wanted to be. Who I needed to be. My huffed breaths slowed along with my frantic heart. Wrapped in Nix’s warmth, in the safety I found in his arms, I broke down. My sorrow drenched the pillow until my well emptied.

As I drifted off to sleep, Parthalan whispered across our link, his voice somehow adding another layer of comfort. “Who are you?”

7

I woke to Nix scrambling from the bed. He sifted through the shreds of clothing on the floor, held up his shirt and withdrew the telepathic device from the pocket. Neasa would be pissed about his ripped shirt. I grinned at my imagined picture of her face all twisted up.

Rubbing my eyes, I turned over as Nix jumped up on the bed again. Bees inhabited my stomach, stinging in waves. What would Liam think if he found out I’d spent the night with my guard?

Nix’s face tightened and relaxed as he made the psychic connection to Liam in my place. A groan expelled from Nix’s lips. His expression switched between smug grins and snarls. Fist clenched around the communicator, he offered it to me. “Do you want to talk to him?”

I drew up my knees, hugged them and leaned against the headboard. “What did you tell him?” Guilt and satisfaction took turns kicking me in the gut.

“Only what he needed to know.”

Whatever that meant. I cringed but couldn’t find the strength to be angry with my captain. “Did you tell him I know about his
queen
?” I managed to make the word sound vile.

“No. My loyalty is to you.”

Loyalty? What was I to him?

Deep breaths.
I held my hand out and cleared my head of Liam’s situation, thankful for the training Gallagher had given me to control what others could read from my mind. The coldness of the silver sent a shiver up my arm as I closed my eyes and concentrated on my supposed boyfriend
.
Liam’s presence lit up my thoughts better than a fireworks show.

“Have you set up the meeting?”
I asked with an even, unemotional tone.

“You sound like you just woke up. Why is Nix in your bedroom?”
Liam’s anger sliced into me.

“How dare you call me and bite my head off? And how do you know he’s in my bedroom?”

“Because you thought about how nice he smells and how he looks even better all sleep tousled than he usually does.”

Damn
. I needed to be more careful. I hadn’t even realized I’d thought it.

“We’re about to go and train, not that it’s any of your business.”

His mental sigh filled me.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. The meeting is set for tonight at nine o’clock eastern. The four of us should meet first and talk about protocol.”

“Protocol? Great, so now I get to offend a whole new race. Is that what you’re saying?”

“This is important, Lila. If we break their rules, they’ll do more than get pissed off. They could hurt or imprison us.”

Of course they could.
“Fine, then we’ll meet outside Seven Gates at eight-thirty.”

“Afterwards, I’ve arranged a place for us to … talk.”
The visual I caught in his thoughts would have made a porn star blush.

My stomach lurched, threatening to expel the remnants of my crackers and cheese. I held back the urge to scream and cry with every ounce of will I possessed. “
I can’t. Donovan, Gallagher and I are meeting with the selkies in the morning.”

“Oh. All right.”

A wave of his sadness rolled over me and rattled my resolve, but I reminded myself of what he was about to do.

“There always seems to be something in the way, doesn’t there?”
he said.

“I have to go.”

I tossed the device to Nix before I thought something I shouldn’t and jumped off the bed. “He’s obviously getting better at controlling his thoughts. I didn’t pick up anything about his—” shaking my head, I grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom to change.

“Are you okay?” Nix stood at the door with his torn shirt in his hands upon my re-emergence.

“Effing peachy. Let’s get something to eat and go train.” Though I wasn’t sure if my stomach would be amenable to that idea by the way it shifted and gurgled.

• • •

“What’s he doing here?” Liam pointed a finger at Nix, who followed me out of the portal at Seven Gates shortly after eight-thirty.

“He’s the captain of my guard. Why wouldn’t he come?” I said without meeting Liam’s glare. The sight of him might have sapped away my anger, and I needed it to keep myself sharp. Anger was better than tears.

Liam reached for me, but I made an abrupt detour and hugged my father. He gave me a whiskery kiss in return. “Are you well? I smell tears on your lashes.”

I grunted and held him tighter. “I’ll be fine. Thanks for asking.”

“You know, don’t you?”

Unable to force words past my constricted throat, I nodded, realizing how torn he must have been about not telling me. I couldn’t be angry at him because he would have been obeying Liam’s command. I didn’t blame him.

When I’d lingered longer than was appropriate, I turned to Gallagher. “So what do we need to know about the elves?”

Tension vibrating his arm, Liam pulled me aside despite my feet digging in to resist him. “Are you angry with me?”

I met his stare and stilled my pounding heart, a wicked, to-hell-with-you grin taking hold of my mouth. “Why would I be angry?” I said, sweet as pie.
Because you lied to me again? Because you’re about to get hitched to some Unseelie broad and knock her up without telling me? Hell, why would that make me angry?

He straightened his form-fitting, black T-shirt and dropped his gaze. “I don’t know. You just seem … nothing.”

I turned back to Gallagher.

“There are customs we must observe,” he said. “As the leaders of our respective races, Liam and Lila must approach first, heads bowed. The tribal elder’s name is Alogason, son of the skies. He can summon the sky spirit to do his bidding. His mate is Laerni, a songstress. She can bewitch another with her voice, can make you do what she wishes without remembering anything you’ve done. Trust me when I say it is not pleasant.”

“So one will sing us to death and the other will fry us with lightning.” I cracked my knuckles. “Sounds like fun.”

Gallagher rolled his eyes and huffed. “Alogason will speak to you, then in unison you will say
‘Arinu C’Alina’.
It means, roughly, ‘we submit to your rule’. Introduce the rest of us, and never turn your back on them—it’s a grave insult. Each of us will step forward as you name us.”

“Pfft.” I chuckled. “And then what, do they bend over so we can kiss their scrawny asses?”

“Lila.” Donovan warned me with a fatherly glare.

I’d have told anyone else to take a flying leap, but to him I uttered, “Sorry. Is that it?”

“Everyone guard your thoughts.” Gallagher tapped his forehead. “We will all be required to wear amulets before entering their domain, allowing us to become part of their tribal connections. It can be … overwhelming at first.”

“What isn’t overwhelming?” I muttered to myself.

“What’s with you tonight?” Liam’s stare bored into my head.

“You do seem rather on edge, Lila,” Donovan said. “Perhaps you should form a mental connection with one of us to help you control your emotions tonight.”

“My emotions are just fine!”

Liam chuckled, his shoulders bouncing with it. “Did you just stomp your foot?”

Did I? “Yes—oh hell. Fine, hook me up to someone.”

All eyes turned to Liam.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Liam held up his hands. A nervous chuckle bubbled up his throat.

Explain your way out of this one, buddy.
Eyebrow arched, I gave him a questioning look. “Why not? We’ve been bonded before.”

“I just—it’s too distracting to be that close to you, and I need to be on guard tonight.”

Smooth, Liam. Very smooth.
I grinned again, letting my intent show in my eyes. “Fine, then I choose Nix.”

Liam opened his mouth, closed it again and rolled his shoulders. The heat from the glare he pointed at Nix could have lit a bonfire. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have Gallagher? I mean, he is trained—”