Sex and the Single Vampire (28 page)

“Mi
amor
, I am come to save you! I ‘ave you now, you scaly-toothed, snaggle-skinned spawn of Satan!” Antonio cried as he lunged forward, slashing his rapier about in an extremely dashing, if sadly ineffective, manner.

“I found a Bible,” Esme yelled helpfully, then looked down at her empty hands. “Oh, dear, I must have dropped it somewhere. It’s not easy keeping your attention focused long enough to move an item that is quite so heavy. I wonder if I left it on the stairs….” She wandered out of the room.

Jem, now wearing a tremendously baggy pair of torn jeans that hung extremely low on his hips, a ripped T-shirt, and a black leather jacket adorned with a skull painted on the back, and sporting one of those greased-back hairdos that the 1950s bad boys wore, all topped off with several heavy gold chains, slouched his way around Antonio. He slid a switchblade from his pocket and flicked it
open, sneering at the demon. “Oy! Yer wants a taste of me pricker, then?”

“You dare to sully
mi amor
with your filthy presence, you disgusting piece of codpiece lint! For that you will die!”

Christian shook his head and said something in what I assumed was Czech. I didn’t need a translation. I was pretty much saying the same thing to myself, only I doubted if I was as polite as he was.

“Ye wanna rumble? I’m ready t’rumble! G’wan, gimme yer best shot, sucka!”

“Jem is definitely watching too much television,” I murmured.

“I found it! I must have dropped it just outside the door. Alis, dear, that isn’t china; I’m sure it’s just a common ceramic light fixture. Here I come; wait for me and Mr. Woogums. This Bible is terribly heavy….”

Now, here is a curious fact about ghosts. While they can interact with the world of the living only if they concentrate very hard and maintain good control over their psychic power, they
can
interact with one another. This is an important point in understanding just why it was that when Esme backed into the room rump-first, inexplicably dragging one of Christian’s antique Bibles rather than carrying it, she wasn’t able to see that she was doomed to be on a collision course with Antonio, who was dancing about the circle, hurling all sorts of insults and taunts at the demon.

I saw it, but too late.

“Esme,” I yelled in warning as she gave the Bible a great jerk, sending her flying backward into Antonio. Just as Antonio was saying, “Now we will see the color of your guts, you distempered toad-spotted rabbit sucker!” he was knocked forward into the circle, thereby breaking it and releasing the demon. Just a nanosecond before the demon realized it was free, I spoke the last word needed to send it
back to the depths from which it came. It turned into a column of oily black smoke that doubled up on itself, sinking into a crack in the tile floor as if it had been sucked down by some giant demonic vacuum cleaner.

Which, I guess, is as apt a description as I’ll ever find.

“Well,
that
was certainly interesting,” Esme said, rubbing her behind.

Antonio staggered out of the circle, his long curls standing on end as if he’d stuck his finger in a light socket. He blinked several times, and seemed to have some difficulty with the coordination of his legs. “I … I … I …”

Esme helped him over to a bench.

I clung to Christian’s hand, breathing a bit heavily as we stared at the faint black mark staining the tile that was all that remained of the demon. Christian started forward toward the mark, but I grabbed him with my other hand and wouldn’t let go.

“Beloved, it is over,” he said, kissing each of my fingers before gently prying them off his wrist.

Antonio lumbered to his feet again, weaving wildly as he tugged down his doublet, a faint corona of smoke rising from his curls. “You will take your filthy ‘ands from
mi corazón
this instant or I will be forced to teach you some manners, you pestilential malt-worm, you!”

Christian squatted down to examine the crack in the tile as I held up my hands to show Antonio they were Christian-free, then turned to glare at Esme. “Did I not tell you all to stay in the study? I distinctly remember telling you to stay there. If you had broken that circle before I completed the ritual, that demon would have wiped up the floor with all of you! Do you think I want phantoms living in Christian’s house?”

Esme paled even beyond her naturally gray state. A phantom was a ghost trapped in limbo, neither in the spirit realm nor the human realm, with no hope of ever
finding Release. Demons had the power to drag ghosts there if they were strong enough, and judging by the holes Sarra had punched through Christian, it was a fair bet to say he would have had little trouble with my gang of five.

“We came to save you,” Antonio protested as his legs gave out and he plopped back down onto the bench. Only he wasn’t paying attention, and he ended up sitting midway through the bench, the seat portion resting in his chest. He kicked his legs around and waved his arms until Esme and Jem took pity on him and hauled him up so he was sitting on the bench proper.

“And we appreciate that, but—”

“It was the least we could do for you, after everything you’ve done for us. Giving us a new home, and television, and taking us on little bobble outings and teas and such. Even Mr. Woogums is enjoying our new haunt.”

I raised my hands, then let them fall helplessly. “Look, what you did was very noble, but—”

“Bloody, ‘ell, on’t no’un come ‘round me ‘ood and mess wit’ me bloods,” Jem added in an odd, eighteenth-century “lower-class servant meets twenty-first-century rapper” dialect.

I pointed a finger at him. “That’s it, no more MTV for you. And pull your pants up; it looks ridiculous with the crotch down around your knees. Esme, please fetch Alis; heaven only knows what she’s up to out there. I will speak to all of you later.” I gave them all my best mean squinty eyes. Two heads nodded quickly. Antonio tipped over sideways and made faint mewing noises.

I turned and walked over to where Christian was examining the tile. My leg was too sore, and I was too exhausted after the tremendous outpouring of energy that was needed to defeat the demon, to squat next to him, so I just leaned against him and touched his head.

“Did it break your nice floor?”

Christian took one of my hands and pulled me forward until I was bent over and could feel the air just above the black-stained crack.

My hand tingled as if I were holding a low-voltage electric fence.

“Oh, no,” I said, straightening up slowly as Christian got to his feet.

His eyes were a warm red-gold-brown that made me think of comfortable winter evenings before a roaring fire.

“This is going to require the help of a Guardian.”

I felt my lower lip quiver. “You don’t mean—”

He took my face in his hands and kissed me very, very gently.

“Yes,” he said simply. “Now we have our very own portal to hell.”

“Caray!”
Antonio moaned from the bench.

“Merde”
I agreed, translating it into French. There just didn’t seem to be much else to say.

It took me an hour, but eventually with Christian’s help I warded all the doors and windows on the ground floor to prevent anyone who wished to do us harm from entering. I used a strong ward, one I had confidence in because I used it on my apartment every night, so I felt pretty secure as I limped up the stairs to the bed. I looked over at Christian, who had slowed his long-legged pace for me.

“You look pretty good for someone who’s had two fist-sized holes punched through him, fought a demon, and is now moving around an hour after sunrise. How do you feel?”

He ran his hand through his hair (an added benefit to making him keep his hair unbound) and rubbed his jaw. “Like I’ve spent the day jousting without armor.”

Ooh.
Little time warp there reminding me just how old he was. Still, I knew how much energy he’d spent on fighting the demon and healing himself. With the warding and the rising sun draining him of more power, I knew it was imperative to get him to rest. I’d just keep our little discussion short, offer him the opportunity for a light snack in case he was peckish, and then put him to bed. “Yes, well, I do plan to grill you at length about everything you’ve seen and done during your life, but right now I’m more concerned about our immediate plans.”

At the top of the stairs I turned left instead of right, and limped toward his study. He lifted me up from behind, turned on his heel, and marched in the opposite direction.

“Hey!” I protested, punching him lightly in the shoulder. “We have stuff to talk about.”

“We can talk in bed. I’ve fought a demon, remember?”

“If we go to bed, we aren’t going to talk, and you know it.”

He grinned.

I bit his ear. “Christian, this is serious. If Eduardo is desperate enough to summon up a demon—which incidentally confirms my earlier suspicion that one of the people in the triumvirate had tapped into dark power—it’s a sure thing he’s not just going to shrug his shoulders and walk away. I can’t imagine why, but for some reason he wants me.”

“Mi amor!”

“Oh, no,” I groaned, dropping my forehead to Christian’s shoulder. “Not now.”

“Stand and face me, you coward!” I looked down the hall. Antonio had taken up a stand in front of Christian’s bedroom door, and was waving his rapier around. “Now at last we will ‘ave this out like men! No longer will you bully
mi corazón.”

Christian didn’t even stop; he just waved one hand.

“My dove, my sweet rose, you must see ‘ow we were meant to be—
Caray!
I ‘ate it when ‘e does this …”

Antonio dissolved.

“I can think of a number of reasons Eduardo wants you,” Christian said as if we hadn’t been interrupted, gently depositing me on my feet next to the bed. He peeled off my sweater, shoes, and pants without any further ado. I squeaked and scurried under the blankets while he locked the door and took off his jeans. He slid into bed and pulled me up next to him.

“No, now, talk, Christian; we need to talk. Your hands must remain above my waist at all times. And stop waving that around; you could poke someone’s eye out with it.”

He laughed and rolled onto his side, fitting my back to his chest so we were spooned together. “All right, my brave
malý váleèník
, what do you wish to do about Eduardo?”

I snuggled back against him, laced my fingers through his where they rested on my belly, and thought. “Well, first of all, we need to figure out why he wants me so badly. Yes, I Summoned up two ghosts under less than ideal circumstances, but there are other Summoners around who are just as good, if not better. So why go to all of this trouble for me?”

He was quiet for a moment, rubbing his chin on the top of my head. “I believe that at first the interest was in you as a person who could be swayed by the research possibilities. It sounds as if they thought they could manipulate you to Summon ghosts for them, and go along with their plans to keep the spirits available.”

“For research.”

“Possibly.”

“Well, I can’t imagine what else you could do with a ghost. ‘At first,’ you said. I take it that means you think there’s a different interest now?”

He said nothing. He didn’t need to. I knew what the interest in me now was. Pain filled my heart.

Christian’s arm tightened around me.
Beloved, it is not your fault. I would have come to their attention sooner or later in my attempt to find Sebastian. It was my plan. You have not betrayed me.

“They found you through me.”

And you have made me stronger than I have ever been, so that together we can fight them. Do you not see that rather than destroying me, you have saved me?

“I think it’s a very fine line between destruction and salvation, and I never was one who could color within the lines.”

His laughter filled my head, warming my soul just as
his body warmed mine.
I would not want to you be any different.

“That’s because you’re crazy. And old. You’re much too old for me, I see that now. I draw the line at dating men more than five hundred years older than me. Anything past that is just decrepit.”

He laughed again and pulled my hips tighter to him.
Do I feel decrepit to you, Beloved?

“Stop that. We have to talk about what we’re going to do. And besides, you were gravely wounded just an hour and a half ago. A man who’s had two holes punched through his body and fought a demon cannot—Oh, good heavens. Christian!”

He eased my leg up over his thigh and slid into me.
Now we shall see who is too old.

“You don’t play fair,” I murmured into his armpit.

I do not have to. I am a Dark One.

“You are an arrogant one is what you are.” I turned my head and spread my fingers through the hair on his chest. “But an arrogant one with many amazing and wondrous talents who makes my bones melt. However, there are other things than your talent that we really should talk about. If you don’t mind returning to an earlier, less pleasant subject, what are we going to do about Eduardo?”

His sigh ruffled my hair. “We will guard against another attack, and I will locate Sebastian.”

I pinched him.

He sighed again. “And to think I spent all those hundreds of years assuming my Beloved would be a sweet, gentle woman who would spend her days finding ways to please me.”

“Dream on, Vlad. You were saying?”

“We will guard against another attack, and then I will—with your assistance—locate Sebastian.”

I decided he’d had enough pinching for one day. “Just barely passable, mister. Now, I think that the quickest way to find Sebastian is to give Eduardo what he wants—namely, me.”

“No.”

“If I let him nab me somehow, he’ll have to take me to wherever he’s keeping Sebastian, because he’ll know you are sure to come riding up on your white horse to save me.”

“I refuse to allow this.”

“I might even be sure to have one or two of the ghosts with me—I’m willing to bet Antonio would volunteer—just to sweeten the pot and make sure they grab me.”