Sex and the Single Vampire (24 page)

I sat up straight and pushed the blankets off me. “He what?”

“He was concerned; he said you weren’t talking to him and he wanted to be sure you hadn’t been hurt—”

“That … that …”

“Man,” Roxy supplied helpfully.

“Man!” I yelled, snatching another tissue and blowing my nose. “How dare he question another woman about me? How dare he pry when it’s clear I don’t welcome his concern! How dare he—”

“—be so much in love with you that he chafes at the fact that he couldn’t be the one to save you?” Joy finished.

“I can save myself,” I snarled at her, immediately feeling ashamed because it’s not a nice thing to snarl at a pregnant woman. “I didn’t mean to attack you, Joy; I’m
just angry at Christian. And he doesn’t love me. I’m not his bloody Beloved; you are.”

“You know,” Roxy said thoughtfully as she popped a chocolate almond into her mouth. “That sounds awfully jealous to me. I think maybe you’re not being quite honest with yourself or Joy. Or Christian, for that matter.”

I glared at Roxy.

“Rox, you’re not helping matters.”

“Well, I’m trying to!” she argued, and took a swig off the bottle of whiskey. “Look, Allie, this thing between Joy and Christian just isn’t important. So they can do the mind-meld, big deal. You only have to get Joy and Raphael together for a couple of minutes before they’re going at it like rabbits. Joy couldn’t give a hoot about Christian, not in the way you do. She punched him in the nose once, almost broke it. Not to mention kneeing him in the happy sacs.”

I stared at Joy, who nodded. “Christian can be a little overbearing sometimes. So can Raphael, but it looks much better on him.”

“You hit him? You hit Christian?”

“And
she stomped on his foot. He limped for a week afterward. It’s ‘cause she weighs as much as a draft horse.”

We both ignored Roxy.

“It’s not something I’m proud of,” Joy said at last, not looking in the least bit contrite.

I nodded, sucking on an almond. I wondered if I would ever get so mad that I could punch Christian in the nose.

“I fervently pray you do not. I do not wish to experience that again.”

I stared at the man leaning elegantly in the doorway, my eyes opening wider as I looked beyond him to the window.

It was still daylight out.

“Christian, what on earth are you doing here? I told you Allie was all right!” Joy gave a little grunt, hoisted
herself out of the chair, and bustled around the windows, closing the drapes and shutting out the weak daylight.

I looked back at Christian as Roxy turned on the lamps scattered around the room. “You shouldn’t be able to do that, should you?”

He shrugged and peeled off his coat and hat. “No, but I did. I believe I owe the gain in tolerance to daylight to you.”

I shook my head. “I’m
not
your Beloved, Christian. Joy is, only she has other priorities.”

He ignored my protest and kissed Joy’s hand, kissed Roxy on the cheek when she threw herself into his arms, and then sat next to me with the casual possession of longtime lovers. I wanted to push him away, but it felt too good when he tugged me against his side. I closed my eyes for a second and let myself melt into him.

Why did life always have to be so difficult?

If it weren’t, you wouldn’t appreciate what you have
, Christian answered.

Go away. I’m too tired to cope with you.

“Poor Allie, she’s been through so much. Christian, she’s asked to stay here for tonight. I’m sure you won’t mind, and won’t pressure her into changing her mind.”

“Allegra knows I would never force her to do anything she does not want to do.” I rallied enough strength to snort at that. He ignored me. “If she wishes to spend the night here, she shall.”

I looked up at him in surprise. I had expected him to at least make a token objection.

“I don’t imagine Raphael will be too pleased to have us both move in with you, but if Allegra insists on remaining here, then here is where we shall stay.”

I opened my mouth to object, then snapped it shut again.
I don’t think you were invited.

Christian looked at Joy. “That is, assuming that your invitation extends to me, of course.”

Joy smiled at him, her eyes full of laughter. “But of course! If you would be more comfortable with Allie at hand, then you’re more than welcome to join us.”

“If anyone suggests having a pajama party, I’m leaving,” Roxy said, standing and pulling her friend toward the door. “Come on, Mama. They can’t talk if you’re sitting there mothering them.”

Joy made an exasperated face as Roxy gently shoved her through the door. “I was
not
mothering them; I was being supportive and concerned. It’s what friends do. I’d be happy to give you lessons.”

The door closed on Roxy’s retort, which I suddenly quite desperately wanted to hear. Anything was better than being smashed up against Christian’s side, feeling his warmth sink into me, wanting to bury my face into his neck so I could inhale that wonderfully spicy scent, wishing I could forget the world and just spend the rest of my life in his arms.

That sounds like an excellent plan to me.

Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves
, I snapped.

Mmm. I don’t believe having you think of me as the sexiest man on earth is hearing ill of myself.

“I haven’t thought that all day, and get out of my mind.”

He started kissing my neck.

“And you can just stop doing that, too.” He nuzzled the sweet spot below my ear and I shivered with pleasure. “It’s … it’s … it’s not going to change my mind. I’m nothing but danger to you, Christian. Oh, Lord, you really shouldn’t, not … Oh, yeah, right there.” All of my aches and pains were forgotten as he worked around the back of my neck, delivering hot little kisses on my nape, making all sorts of things inside me go up in spontaneous
combustion. “I … um … I won’t bring you anything but more torment. You have to understand why this thing between us isn’t going to work out.”

He stopped kissing my neck long enough to turn me to face him. “I know you feel responsible for me, malý
váleèník
, but in truth you are not. If you leave me now, there will be nothing left of me for Guarda and Eduardo to torment.”

“Now you’re exaggerating,” I told him, allowing myself just one, swift little barely there kiss to show him that I appreciated the fact that he thought he couldn’t live without me.

The kiss turned into a smoldering inferno of passion the second my lips met his. I fought giving in to the need that rose within me in answer to his longing, then told myself I’d been through a lot, and deserved a little reward. I threw everything I had into my kiss, running my hands over his chest and up to where his hair was once again confined.

I like it loose
, I chastised him as I pulled it free from the leather thong.

Then you will have to see to it that it remains that way
, he answered.

I heard the door open behind me.

“They’re kissing,” Roxy called down the hallway. “No, really kissing. Tongues and everything. What? Oh, all right. You sure have become a prude lately….”

The door closed.

Christian’s tongue danced a fiery dance around mine, melting my flesh and bones until all that was left was pure emotion. Tears streaked my cheeks as I kissed him harder, deeper, wanting to lose myself in him.

I would not have that
, he told me as his thumb brushed away my tears.
I could not love a woman who was not strong enough to be whole on her own.

His lips parted from mine, turning to kiss the wet tracks of tears.

You said I complete you; are you not whole?

Not without you
, he answered.

But I am complete without you?

He kissed one eye, then the other. “You are whole, perfectly finished as you are. You are a little warrior. Without me, you would still exist. You would laugh, you would learn to love, you would have a satisfying life. You would seek and achieve success because you cannot do otherwise.”

I stroked the hair back from his face and looked into his eyes. “You’ve lived for nine hundred years, Christian. I’m sure you’ve had relationships with women in the past, and I’m sure they’ve ended. You survived that, you will survive me.”

His eyes, warm, so full of something that I wanted to believe was love, but wouldn’t allow myself to acknowledge, studied my face. He opened his mind to me so that the pain and torment that were within him were also within me. He spoke, and it felt as if I were speaking. His thoughts were mine; mine were his. We were one; we were joined together in way so profound it scared the life out of me.
If you leave me, I will have no future. I am not as strong as you are, Beloved. I cannot face the thought of a future without you completing me. If you turn your back on me, I will end my existence rather than live knowing I have failed you.

“You haven’t failed me,” I whispered, hot tears welling up in my eyes at the knowledge that what he said was true. His agony of almost a thousand years of despair was as real as anything I’d ever felt, and I knew with my heart and soul that what he was telling me was the truth. He would destroy himself rather than face a bleak future that held nothing but the misery of the past.

I don’t know why I thought I had a choice in this. I
didn’t; I couldn’t. Either I left Christian and he would kill himself, or I stayed with him and Guarda and Eduardo would do the job for him.

In the dream Eduardo had told me I must make a choice. Silly me, I thought it was a choice between my own survival and Christian’s—not a choice of how he would die.

Why do you believe we will be so easily overcome?

I sniffed. He handed me a handkerchief. I wouldn’t allow myself the intimacy of speaking into his mind. “I don’t mean any slur, Christian, but if Guarda and Eduardo could overcome your friend, what’s to stop them from overcoming you?”

“Sebastian has not found his Beloved.”

“So?”

“Is it not true that two are stronger than one?”

I thought about that. “Oh. I guess so. You’re saying that a Dark One who’s found his Beloved—”

“One who has Joined with his Beloved.”

“—is more powerful than a solo Dark One, but that means squat in this case. I’m not your Beloved.”

“You are. I was incorrect earlier when I said you weren’t. I know now that you are the woman I have waited for, the one who holds my future in her hands, the Beloved who can redeem my soul.”

“I’m not! I’m not a soul-saving sort of person; I’m a Summoner. That’s all I am.”

“There is nothing that says you cannot be both.”

“But—”

He took my hand and kissed my palm. Little streaks of fire shot up my arm. “You have already started to heal my soul; you have ever since I met you. That is why I am able to tolerate the last hours of the sun. The hunger within me has diminished, changed so that I crave only you.
That, too, would not happen unless you were the woman intended to make me whole again.”

“You crave me?” I looked at him suspiciously. “You crave us together, you mean? Sex?”

“That is part of the hunger, yes.”

I had a momentary glimpse into what he needed from me. There was the hope that I would salvage his soul, there was an intense desire for physical joining, and there was a deep, dark thirst for—”

“Blood. Oh, I see. Dark Ones only dine off their Beloveds, eh?”

“You will be all I need, all I will want. The act of taking blood from another has become repugnant to me.”

He watched me closely to see how I would take that news. I felt for one horrible moment like some sort of deranged cow, fed and pampered so I could donate blood on a regular basis, then thought, really thought about what Christian was feeling. I knew from experience how intimate—how erotic—it was for him to feed off me. Did I want him doing that with anyone else?

I most certainly did not.

Still, there were questions to be answered. “Why did you think Joy was your Beloved? Why did you think I wasn’t? Why did you change your mind?”

He ran a long-fingered hand through his hair and leaned back on the couch, taking me with him. “Joy once said that she thought it was possible for there to be two women with, as she put it, their wires crossed: one who was born a Beloved, but who was never meant to fulfill that role, and another who was not born to it, but who would grow into it. I did not think it was possible at the time, but now”—His eyes lightened to a beautiful warm reddish brown with gold flecks that made his eyes seem to shimmer with light—”now I believe she was right. You
were not born to be my Beloved, but you are she. If you choose to stay with me now, to help me overcome my darker self, there will be only one more step before we are truly Joined.”

Ick.
I knew what that meant. A blood exchange. I pushed down the pesky little thought that when we made love, I had a deep, forbidden, primitive urge to taste his blood even as he was drinking mine, and instead focused on the here and now.

“All right, letting the Beloved question go for a minute, how can you expect me to believe that you and I have enough strength, even working together, to face the triumvirate again? They almost did me in, Christian, and that was with you pouring your power into me. I felt how weak you grew doing that; you were giving me everything you had.”

He kissed my palm again. I fought back the shiver of pleasure that his breath on my sensitive skin triggered. “Once we are Joined, we will be as one. You will complete me, and in return you will be made immortal.”

“Even immortal, I can still be hurt. You said yourself it was possible to kill a Dark One, and your friend is proof that you can be held prisoner against your will.”

“Sebastian was not trapped by Eduardo and Guarda. There was another’s hand in it, one who was able to blind Sebastian because he had no Beloved. A Dark One who is redeemed would never make that mistake.”

“Don’t tell me: When you’re redeemed you become even more perfect than you are now?”

A smile flirted with his lips. I wanted to flirt with the smile. “Nothing so arrogant, Allegra. It is simply that a Moravian who has Joined would not do anything that would endanger his Beloved. She is everything and all to him. He lives for her happiness. He would take no
chances with his own life simply because he must live to protect her.”