Sex (13 page)

“I can't,” she said, standing with her back literally pressed against the wall. “I'm sorry, Ed, but… you've got to go.”

Ed dropped his head in frustration at yet another failed attempt and considered his next move. Scream
and yell? Quiet and gentle? Maybe he should just drop to his knees and plead for the real Gaia to return to him. But years of trying to be easygoing had left him stuck in the world of the reasonable. “Okay, do you think it's safe to say that there's something you're not telling me?”

Gaia kicked the sole of her foot against the wall. Her face became tighter and tighter, as if someone were slowly closing a vise on her head. Ed hadn't expected to feel so guilty about confronting her, but that's just how the pain on her face had begun to affect him. As if
he
should somehow feel guilty for torturing
her
in this scenario. There was a joke, if he'd ever heard one.

“Ed,” she murmured, her voice simmering with all kinds of potential for explosion, “I
need
to get some sleep, okay? I've been up all night.”

“It's just a trip to the police station, Gaia. It's not that big—”

“Ed, please!” she barked. “I'm sorry that I can't go, but I'm sure there were plenty of other witnesses.”

Ed was quickly running out of reasonableness. “Do you even care that I could have been killed yesterday?”

“Of course I do!” she moaned. “Don't be ridiculous. And you have
no idea
how happy I am that you're okay, but you know what, Ed? You should be enjoying your life now that you've got it. You don't need to be around all my miserable crap.”

“Yes,”
Ed spat out emphatically, “as a matter of fact,
I
do.
I
need
to be around your miserable crap every day, Gaia, and every night. I thought that's where we were headed. I thought that's what we'd gotten to. And then you dug
way down deep
and found an
even deeper
layer of miserable crap for me to contend with. I don't know how you did it, but you did, and you know what? I
still
need to be around it! That's the point of us, isn't it? That I love every ounce of your miserable crap.”

“Please,” she begged. “Just go!”

“Oh, come on.” Ed groaned, slamming his fist on the doorway. “That speech was good! I just put that together right on the spot just now!”

“Ed!”
she howled at a pitch high enough to buzz his eardrums. “Enough! I asked you to leave, now leave!”

Gaia kicked her wall again and then escaped her room, rushing past Ed into the living room. He followed her out, arguing, barely even registering that they were now putting on a full-fledged show for Tatiana, who was seated most uncomfortably on the livingroom couch. Not to mention Natasha, who must have been respectfully hiding around the corner.

“I can't leave without some explanation,” he barked. “Something
real.”

“I gave you an explanation. You just don't want to believe it's true.”

“No, I don't!”

“Well, then why don't you get out of here and go mull it over. Because here's your news flash, Fargo. I
meant every word of it! Okay? Every goddamn word! I was just a basket case, and… and… I
needed
someone, and you were
there.
Okay? And that's it. It was just a mistake, Ed. A big mistake, and now I need to be alone for a while. Understood? Is that clear and honest enough for you?
Leave me alone.”

Ed's entire body felt wobbly and bent backward. If she said one more cruel word, he probably would fall over. “And you won't even come with me to the police station?” he squeaked indignantly, not even knowing what else to say after her horrid little rant.

“No! I can't. I'm tired, and I'm going to bed!”

“I can go with you,” Tatiana interjected from the couch.

Ed and Gaia both went silent as they turned to Tatiana. He had nearly forgotten she was sitting there. He was a bit mortified at having exposed her quite so mercilessly to his and Gaia's dirty laundry, but still, she had placed an offer on the table. And Gaia had slashed away so deeply at Ed's ego… that he felt compelled to accept it. Especially since Gaia was there to watch him accept it.

“Well,
thank you,
Tatiana,” Ed crooned, shooting Gaia a vicious glance. “That's
very nice
of you. I could use the moral support.” He stepped over to Tatiana and offered his hand to her as she rose from the couch. Then he turned back to Gaia, whose face had begun to turn a pale shade of red as she stared hatefully at Tatiana.

“Of course,” Tatiana said with a wide smile.

“Well, there you go,” Ed said with a deeply ironic happy grin on his face. “You can get some sleep now, Gaia, because Tatiana's going to come with me. Problem solved. I'm really glad we had this talk. And maybe Tatiana and I will see you later in school, okay?
Great!
See you later.”

Gaia didn't utter another word as Ed politely escorted Tatiana to the door. He made sure Gaia watched as he smiled at Tatiana, placed his hand gently on her back, and escorted her out to the elevator. Then he turned back to Gaia and gave her one last look.

He wasn't even sure what this last look was for. He wasn't sure what it was meant to say. Some part of him was just so angry that he wanted to stay for one last vengeful moment, to rub Tatiana in her face. But mostly…

In spite of all Gaia's mind-blowing insensitivity and all the lacerating wounds she'd just inflicted on his ego, mostly… he just wanted another moment with her. Because the reality of the situation had finally cut through. He was sure now. This wasn't some kind of test or some kind of game she was playing. It wasn't just another one of Gaia's hyper-extreme hot and cold spells. And she had no secret agenda.

She simply didn't love him. That was the big secret. That was the all-important
truth
he'd been looking for. She'd been swirling around in the chaos of her life,
and she'd gotten caught up in the heat of the moment with Ed. And that was all. That particularly well-heated moment was over.

So maybe his last look at her cold but troubled face was really just meant to say good-bye. Because he'd gotten what he came for. A loud and fiery breakup to go with their fiery blip of a romance.

All that was really left to do was slam the door closed. Which he did. As loud and as hard as he could.

In
my country, If a woman were to treat a man as abominably as I have seen Gaia treat Ed, she would be placed on a horse backward, blindfolded, and sent out to the Siberian desert with a thimbleful of water.

TATIANA

Perhaps that's a bit of an exaggeration. But still, I simply can't believe the horrid way she treats Ed. It disgusts me.

The way she treats me is quite sickening as well, but at least we have no prior relationship. Ed is supposed to be her boyfriend. At least that's what she told
me
to my face. But if this is the way a girl treats her boyfriend in America, then this place is even more horrible than I thought. What kind of culture could possibly allow someone to be so cruel to a loved one? Unless, of course, he is not a loved one. Confusing. Very confusing.

Then there is the issue of her foul-mouthed orangutan of a friend.
I could say plenty of cruel things about Gaia, which I will respectfully refrain from doing at this moment, but she certainly strikes me as intelligent. How could she be so foolish as to place her trust in that awful girl?

Indeed, my mother really has yet to convince me of any of this country's great advantages. Although I suppose… Ed is American. And I will admit that he is kinder and funnier than any boy I knew in Russia. And I suppose I would have to admit, more attractive, too.

But contrary to what Gaia might believe, I am
not
trying to make some kind of immoral play for his affections.

However, I think even Gaia would admit that—
hypothetically,
of course—if, for instance, we lived in some kind of parallel universe and Ed were to be my boyfriend… that I would never treat him the way she treats him. Never.

From:
[email protected]

To:
[email protected]

Time:
1:45 P.M.

Re:
Starbucks sucks

Heather,

Am I the only one who's getting a little tired of coffee?

Here's what I'm thinking. In the immortal words of Emeril Lagasse, what do you say we kick things up a notch? Meet me at 9:00 at Guernica, 25 Avenue B.

My hidden agenda: to see you in a party dress.

But you probably already know that, what with your mind control and all.

Josh (your own personal voodoo doll)

From:
[email protected]

To:
[email protected]

Time:
3:42
P.M.

Re:
Starbucks sucks

Josh,

Yup. Already knew, already picked out the dress. Hope you like.

See you there.

XOXO (if you're lucky)

Heather

With the exception of Adolf Hitler, there was no name she despised more than the name Josh.

unnecessary flashbacks

“TANGERINE OR
MANGO?
HEL-
LO?”

Heather's entire body shook with fear. Just the sheer volume of the voice of the kitchen worker in charge of Jell-O had shocked her awake. She'd been caught in her fourth Josh—induced love trance of the day, and she was really beginning to piss people off. In this case, it was an entire line of greasy-faced students dying to make that all-important decision of mango versus tangerine Jell-O, and Heather was apparently ruining their lives by holding up the line, stuck in a romantic fantasyland. She'd been reliving Josh's exquisite kiss on the cheek when she ‘d been so rudely interrupted.

Lack of Love

“Moooove,” a scrawny sophomore with braces and a backward baseball cap hollered.

Heather turned to him and winced with disgust at his lack of manners. “What
ever,”
she spat. “I'm not even
having
lunch today.”

“Then
mooooove.”

“I'm
moving.”

Heather grabbed her empty tray from the line and put it straight into the stack of dirties. The smile quickly returned to her face, though. Nothing could bother her today. After all, how could that hopeless young twig be expected to understand? What did he know about true love in his young life? He would
surely be at home tonight, trying to choose between his Dreamcast and his Xbox, while Heather was at Guernica being swept just that much further off her feet by an honest-to-goodness
man.

Thoughts of her date tonight were averaging about one every fifteen seconds, culminating in a completely frozen love trance about once an hour. During the course of the day, this compromised state of awareness had caused her to block the locker of one freshman girl who'd been too intimidated to say anything, to create a bottleneck situation on the stairs during a fire drill, and to blank on three straight questions during astronomy. So impaired was her judgment that she'd even been tempted to try and explain her situation to her teacher, woman to woman.

Look, Ms. Etchison,
she would have said,
you and I know both know there are things in this life far more important than population 1 and 2 stars. There is love and there is passion, and there is that moment when the hottest guy in the world wants to see you in your party dress. Do you remember that moment, Ms. Etchison? Well… you probably never had that moment, but still… isn't that what the stars are really for, Ms. Etchison? After all is said and done, aren't the stars really made for Josh Brown and me? To stare at tonight after the club? To talk about in our prekiss banter about constellations? Haven't you ever heard the term “star-crossed lovers”? I don't know what it means, Ms. Etchison, but I know it's about
lovers and stars, so it must be about Josh Brown and me.

Heather had opted not to give her speech, simply because it would have taken too long, but still, it was true. There were things in this world so much more important than astronomy. This world of school and cafeterias and greasy-faced students had come to seem so unbelievably
small.
Heather would never have shared this particular choice of words openly, but in all honesty, after spending time with Josh, she couldn't help feeling that this whole high school thing was just a tad beneath her.

Still, even though her friends had all gone out for sushi, Heather had opted for the cafeteria. Why? Because maybe… just perhaps… she might want to run into Ed and Gaia. And maybe, perhaps, she thought they might be interested to know that her Starbucks crush had turned into something far more substantial. Something perhaps even to rival their all powerful romance. Yes, she thought they just might like to know that.

Heather finally saw Ed's wild hair in a corner of the cafeteria and headed for his table. She could only see the back of Gaia's head, but it was quite obvious that they were having some very serious and intimate private conversation. Perfect time to pay them a little visit.

New leaf, Heather. Don't forget about your new leaf.

Heather tried to focus on her new leaf for a moment. But today she couldn't help wondering…

What the hell was the point of the new leaf? What was the point of trying to be more giving when the people you were trying to give to weren't even taking? Ed and Gaia had just started their big whirlwind relationship; they honestly didn't seem to care whether Heather was being unselfish or not. And a few resentful barbs thrown in their direction? Was that really such a crime? Ed had flat out dumped Heather. And then he'd started up with Gaia maybe a week or so later. It wasn't like Heather hadn't seen what was going on. Ed had been pining for his “best friend” for months, and once she'd finally come around, Heather had been history. So didn't she really have the right to be a tad resentful? Wasn't that just a valid and honest response?