Seven's Diary (Hers #4.5) (2 page)

These are the same people who walk down the street and judge you, because they know you are different. Cast their stones when they live in a very thin, sheeted glass house. The truth is most of them are far more fucked up than either of us. But don’t tell them that, it would burst the poor little bubble they live in. But it doesn’t bother me, because I like being different. I don’t like living inside their fucked up box. I don’t need society’s standards to tell me who I
should
be. I don’t want to be in that cookie cutter mold.

But for the first time in my entire life, I had finally found someplace I could fit in. Some place I could be exactly who I am without worrying about people judging me. Women and men fall at my feet when I walk into the room and the thrill it gives me is nothing short of intoxicating. I am the queen of the kinky underworld. Something society’s standards would thumb their nose at. But I don’t care because I finally fucking fit in!

Sinners and Swingers is a kink club. Whatever the fuck that means, I am still trying to figure out. Star’s boss got us some kind of lifetime membership, but I’m not complaining at all because there is no way I would ever shell out my hard earned money to get into a club where I can get laid. I have no problem getting laid without shelling out cash that is for damn sure.

It is hard to describe the club and how shit works. Then again I am still so new I didn’t even understand myself. You get a membership which I am assuming people pay for. You sign some privacy paperwork saying you won’t tell non-members what goes on inside the club and you respect the privacy of the members, and boom! You can have sex with any willing partner right there in the club. Seems like it would be incredibly illegal, I know. I said the same thing right off the bat. But something about shit being consensual and only exchanging money to be a “member” of the club has a hang up.

Star’s boss picked up the tab, and honestly I really don’t want to know how much this shit cost.

I guess it kind of sounds like one of those seedy Vegas strip clubs where you can get a happy ending in the back room, but it really isn’t like that. By all appearances it looks just like a bar. Some evenings there is live music, and other evenings there are live shows. Kink shows, showcasing different fetishes. Teaching the willing members what it is like to engage in rope play or bondage methods.

I just sit in the shadows and take everything in. Each night I watch and go home to get myself off while thinking about what I witnessed. Women bound by tight ropes, loving every second of their play, or men bowing at a Domme’s feet, blindfolded and waiting for her next move. Just thinking about it makes me want to rub my cunt in the worst way possible.

I want to be those people.

I want to dive in head first to everything they enjoy.

I want to know what the ropes would feel like bound around my tits, or what the crack of a flogger would feel like against the pale skin of my ass.

But instead I sit in the shadows and patiently wait.

Waiting to figure out what I like the most.

See what interests me.

Learn what my biggest turn ons and turn offs are.

Acquire knowledge of what the lifestyle is about.

Figure out what my hard limits are.

I mean, before I even came to this club I knew there was no way I would ever step across the line of blood play, or any bodily fluids, period. Come is one thing, piss is a whole different, nasty ass ballgame. How can people even think anything about that would be sexy? God I wanna vomit.

It seems like a full time job, but it is something I am more than willing to take on. I want to know everything I can about the fetish scene I am slowly becoming a part of.

Men, women, Doms, subs, Switches, whoever they are, and whatever they are, I want to know it and be a part of it.

Tonight I was approached for the first time. He was tall and handsome. Extremely muscular which never really has been my type, but he exuded this confidence that made him impossible to ignore. His blue eyes caught my attention, and pulled me in. His messy dark hair hung around the edges of his face, and the stubble on his jaw made me wanna feel it all over my body. He was perfection for an older man, and I hung on his every word as he spoke when he asked me to spend an hour with him in a private room. No strings attached. Talking. Privately.

“What’s your name, love?”

I sat there like a fucking idiot with my mouth hanging open in shock. Shock, that someone in this place finally noticed me sneaking around in the shadows, especially a man of his caliber.

“Seven.” I answered him, without thinking about using a fake name. A “scene name” as so many called it, hiding their real identities like everyone else in this place did. No one went by their own names. It was about safety and keeping their kink under wraps in the real world. Because everything that took place behind these doors wasn’t the real world. It was a fantasy world of sex play. Nothing more.

And when you walk out of the club, back onto the streets of Manhattan…everything is left behind.

“First mistake, my love. Come with me, and I will teach you everything you need to know tonight.” I followed him without any questions asked. The hardcore front I put on was lost in his commanding tone. I never stood a chance against him or what he wanted.

“You may call me Master Robert, Seven.” I wanted to sass him back. I wanted to defy him. Everything inside me screamed at me to tell him to fuck off in some not so nice way. But I couldn’t. For the first time in my life someone else had rendered me speechless. And submissive.

I could only nod in reply to him.

“You may speak, Seven.”

“Please, do not call me Seven.” I didn’t want my name used in this place. I fucked up big time by speaking it within the walls of Sinners and Swingers, and if anyone ever connected me to my job from here, it would be the end of me. The end of my career; the end of the future I worked so carefully constructing. Fuck!

“I know who you are Seven James. But, if you would like to be called by something else, please pick something now or I will continue to address you in the manner you introduced yourself. You don’t get second chances with me, love.” His words snapped me out of the submissive blackout I had been in, and back to reality. I should have walked out of that door and never stepped foot back inside this club. But, I couldn’t leave the one place I finally felt as though I belonged, without feeling such a huge sense of regret.

“How do you know my name?” I responded to him, and I am lucky he didn’t punish me right then and there. I didn’t know how respect worked in these clubs. My tone was audacious, and disrespectful. But he let it slide for some unknown reason.

“Seven James, I will tell you this once, and once only. Listening?”

I just nodded and watched him with the wonderment of a child.

“My real name is James White, and I own White-Woods Global. I believe you are new in my office, correct?” My heart dropped when he spoke his name. James White. The notorious businessman who owned not only half of Manhattan, but the company I just joined. My boss. Well, not my direct boss, but my boss’, boss’ boss. It felt as though the rug was being pulled out from under me. The future I worked so hard to construct was out of reach again.

“You are a promising young woman in more ways than one,” his tongue ran across his plump bottom lip while his blue eyes never broke contact with mine. “You come to my company with an impressive resume, and finding you in this club was just an added bonus to me. But, I don’t want to make you a play thing of mine because frankly love, you aren’t my type.” He lets out a chuckle and my blood runs cold. “Of course you are gorgeous, your body is luscious in all the right places, but I prefer men most times.” I feel the slightest bit of relief wash over me, but I am beyond confused now.

“I don’t understand?”

“I don’t expect you to, Seven. Listen carefully.” He paused, only to take a few steps in my direction and instruct me to sit on my knees. Everything about the submissive position I had been put in bothered me. My body screamed to get up and stand up to him. But I knew my career hung in the balance, and not just my membership in the one place I finally felt whole.

“I need someone to walk in my footsteps. Someone to please me in the private ways I need. Someone who will stand beside me and learn everything I have to teach. Not just here in the walls of this club, but inside my company. I don’t have any children to pass it down to. But I’ve been watching you since you stepped foot in this club, and my office. You have it Seven James. You are the female version of me, so many years ago. Before these clubs existed.”

He rounded my kneeling body, taunting me with each step.

“Get up, I can tell you are uncomfortable in the submissive role which is one of the things I like about you Seven. You don’t take shit from anyone, but you so willingly followed me in here. Will you learn from me? Walk in my footsteps? Will you become my female prodigy, Seven?”

His questions hung in the dark air of the first private room I entered in Sinners and Swingers. Not only could he be the sexual mentor I yearned for, but this was my one chance at climbing the corporate ladder. Climbing to the top in a career I ached to dominate in. Prove to everyone in my life that I could stand on top where I fucking belong.

This. Was. My. Chance.

“Yes, Master Robert. I will.”

I never understood how much those words would change my life.

Master Robert became the one man in my life I would break all the rules for. And I did without a care in the world. When it came to Robert, gone were all the rules I made for myself, and all the rules society had put in place to keep the kinky folk like us feeling bad about the shit we liked sexually. There wasn’t anything wrong with what we liked, it just wasn’t the norm.

What the fuck is normal anyways?

Soon there after meeting Master Robert, my work space was moved. No longer was I stuck in a cubicle on the tenth floor of the White-Woods Global building. I was moved to the sixtieth floor, where I could see for miles, all around the island of Manhattan. A beautiful view I never imagined could be mine. I had an office I called my own, and that was enough to make me think it was all a dream. I landed only steps away from my Master’s office. Inside the doors of the office I called him James, or Mr. White. Keeping things as professional as we possibly could given the intensity of our situation. The relationship we carefully built outside of the view of corporate onlookers.

Inside my bedroom, his bedroom, or the walls of Sinners and Swingers I called him Master. But, we didn’t have your typical Master and submissive relationship. He was my teacher. My mentor. He trained me to work alongside of him, reel in the men that he desired. The men we both desired the submissive men that would become sexual playthings to us. I can’t help but remember the first man we took together.

Lucas was a regular at the club, and he was a bisexual sub that Master Robert had topped more than once. Bringing me into their scene was just an added bonus for both men involved. I couldn’t look down on them for enjoying the sexual company of the same sex, when I had done it so many times myself with Star. There was a certain beauty in sharing an experience with someone of the same sex. A line in the sand crossed that only helped get me off. It wasn’t up to me to judge what the men enjoyed. It was up to me to learn from my Master and walk in his footsteps of topping men, not only in the bedroom but in the boardroom.

Master Robert taught me everything I needed to know when it came to making men my bitches. Not that I didn’t know a great deal already. While Daniel had aided me in ensuring I would never have another broken heart, Robert taught me the game of dominance, and the reward of submission. Something that went from a sexual kink to a lifestyle I could never bring myself to give up once I had the tiniest taste. A power hungry bitch would have been a pretty accurate description.

The playroom in Sinners and Swingers was set perfectly. The lighting was dim and the navy clad bed in the center of the room was a focal point. It was my first time in a playroom of this size. Everything about it was grand. I couldn’t rip my eyes from the details long enough to notice the man kneeling next to it. Not until Master Robert’s voice snapped me out of my deep exploration of the playroom setup.

“Lucas, say hello to Mistress Marilyn,” the name he had given me a week earlier. Help in ensuring our corporate worlds would never crossover into the club again. He caught my first transgression, and ensured I would never make that mistake twice. Marilyn, as in the late Marilyn Monroe; he compared my sexual grace to hers, along with my full figure. The comparison to someone I had idolized most of my life was the ultimate compliment.

“Good evening Mistress Marilyn.” He whispered while still looking at the floor. His sandy blond hair flopped to the side, as I eyed his muscular back. My line of sight following down to his sculpted ass, only covered by a pair of thin boxer briefs leaving little to the imagination. Something about a nice ass in a pair of those tight boxers did things to me I could never understand.