Seven for a Secret (18 page)

I tried to tell Rachel this and she agreed with me. She said she would never forget what Daniel had done for her and without reproaches of any sort. She was going to try to make up for that for the rest of her life.

And Tamarisk? What was her life going to be?

She and Gaston continued to live at St. Aubyn’s. Gaston paid a great deal of attention to Mrs. St. Aubyn who, I was told, had become very fond of him. There was a coolness between him and Crispin. Crispin, I believed, was of a suspicious nature, and would be asking himself why Gaston had wanted such a hasty wedding.

I wondered what he would have said if he had known that the baby Rachel was going to have was Gaston’s.

I had been roughly awakened to the ugly side of life in Barrow Wood some years before. Now it seemed I had extended my knowledge.

Rachel had certainly married in unusual circumstances, but what of Tamarisk? She might be contented now, but what would her life be with such a man as Gaston?

I often thought of those girls we had been at the ball, dreaming of ‘coming out’ and courtship, marriage and the ultimate goal of living happily ever after. How often was that dream attained? I wondered.

There was Rachel with this as yet unborn baby. For her there would be memories. And Daniel kind Daniel self-effacing as he was, surely when the child came he would sometimes think of Gaston and Rachel together.

But Tamarisk. She must live her life with the man who, while he was claiming undying love for her, was making love to someone else.

Crispin’s manner towards Gaston was so cool that I began to wonder

whether he had discovered something. It occurred to me that Gaston might be capable of any deceit. What of those grand estates in France and Scotland? Did they really exist? Had he wanted to secure Tamarisk and her fortune before it was found out that he was not what he had made himself out to be?

It seemed plausible that this might be so.

I went to see Tamarisk. She had changed a little. She looked more sophisticated. She laughed a good deal and was full of gaiety, but I did wonder whether part of it was assumed. She insisted that life was wonderful. But did she do this too vehemently?

1 asked her if she and Gaston were going to live at St. Aubyn’s.

“Oh no,” she answered.

“We’re pondering. Such fun! We’re not quite sure where we want to live. St. Aubyn’s will do very well until we’ve decided.”

“I should think it would do very well indeed!” I replied.

“You won’t live abroad, will you? Those estates in France.”

“Oh, you’ve forgotten. Gaston sold those. We might buy another there.”

“And Scotland?” I went on.

“Those are in the process of being sold. At the moment we shall be here. My mother is pleased about that. She adores Gaston.”

“And Crispin?” I asked.

“Oh, you know Crispin. He never adores anything except the estate.”

Was she happy, or was there a hint of uneasiness which she was trying to disguise?

As for me, there was a certain amount of uncertainty. Aunt Sophie had thought there would be more balls at St. Aubyn’s to which eligible young men would be asked. Tamarisk’s marriage had put an end to that.

1 was caught up by Miss Hetherington. I must, she said, ‘pull my weight’ and do what I could for the good of Harper’s Green. That meant I must join the sewing circle,

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making garments for the poor and naked people of some remote part of Africa. I must help promote the bazaar and the annual fete. I must join in the organizing of the;H cake-judging competition and become a member of the flower-arranging class.

Aunt Sophie was amused at first, and then a little thoughtful. It was not what she had planned for me.

1 said: “I feel I ought to do something. I mean, take a post of some sort. After all, I’m a bit of a drain on you.”

“Drain! I never heard such nonsense.”

“Well, you can’t be as well off as you were before I came. So it must be something of a burden.”

“No such thing. You’re a bonus.”

“And you are a darling,” I replied.

“Yet I do want to do something.

Earn a little money preferably. You give me so much. “

“You give me so much, too. But I do know what you mean. You don’t want to stultify, become a martyr to village life, become another Maud Hetherington.”

“I have been wondering what I could do. Perhaps get a post as a governess or companion.”

Aunt Sophie looked horrified.

“Granted there is little else a genteel young lady can do. But I can’t see you as the governess to some wayward child or companion to some fractious old woman.”

“It might be interesting for a while. After all, 1 am not like some. I could leave if I did not like it. I do have a little money of my own.”

“Put the idea out of your head. I’d miss you too much. Something will be resolved.”

The time for the birth of Rachel’s baby was almost with us. I went over to see her.

She said: “It’s impossible not to be happy about this baby. I love this child deeply, Freddie. It’s strange, when you think …”

“It’s not strange at all. It’s natural. The child is yours, and when it is born it will be Daniel’s. Only the three of us know, and we shan’t tell.”

“A secret,” she said, ‘that must never be told. “

My thoughts immediately went to the nursery in the Lanes’ cottage and the seven birds in the picture.

“The old verse,” I said.

“I know,” said Rachel.

“I always wondered what that secret was. What do you think the poet had in mind?”

“Just any secret, I suppose.”

She nodded thoughtfully.

That reminded me that I must go to see Flora soon. Poor Flora. The passing of time meant nothing to her. She lived permanently in the past.

Rachel was saying: “I am trying to put all that behind me. I was silly to believe in him. I can see it so clearly now. I believe he married Tamarisk for her money.”

“Poor Tamarisk,” I said.

“Yes. I can say that now.”

“And you, Rachel, have someone who truly loves you.”

She nodded. She was not completely happy, I knew, but she had left a long way behind that girl whom I had found in the stable with a rope in her hands.

Soon after I called on Tamarisk again. She was wearing a tea-gown of lavender silk and lace and looked beautiful.

“And what are you doing here, Freddie?” she wanted to know.

“I have just left the sewing circle.”

She grimaced.

“How exciting!” she said ironically.

“Poor you! I don’t suppose Maud Hetherington lets you off lightly.”

“She’s a hard taskmaster.”

“How long are you going to let her rule you?”

“Not much longer. I’m thinking of taking a post.”

“What sort of post?”

“I haven’t decided yet. What do young ladies of some education and very small means do? You don’t know? Well, I’ll tell you. They become governesses or companions It’s a very humble condition, but alas, the only thing available.”

“Oh shut up,” cried Tamarisk.

“And look! Here’s Crispin.”

He came into the room and said to me: “Good afternoon. I saw you arriving and I guessed you had come to see Tamarisk.”

“She has just been telling me she’s thinking of being someone’s governess or companion,” said Tamarisk.

“Looking after other people’s children or ministering to some old woman?”

“Teaching children could be rewarding,” I said.

“For the children who would benefit from your tuition, perhaps. But for you? When a governess is no longer needed, off she goes.”

“That would apply to any employment, surely?”

“The period of a governess’s usefulness is necessarily limited. It is not a career I would recommend.”

“There is little choice. There would appear to be only two openings governess or companion.”

“The second could be worse than the first. People who need companions are more often than not querulous and demanding.”

“It may be that there are some pleasant ones.”

“It would not be my choice if I were a young woman in search of a career.”

“Ah, but then you are not.”

Tamarisk laughed. He shrugged his shoulders and we talked of other things.

Shortly afterwards he left and I went back to The Rowans. I sat at my window, looking out at Barrow Wood.

Aunt Sophie was having tea in the drawing-room when 1 came in. I had been to the church to help with the flower decoration, supervised by Mildred Clavier, who had French ancestry on one side of her family and was therefore noted for her good taste.

I was tired not so much from physical fatigue but through a sense of futility. I was wondering, as I did twenty times a day, where I was going.

To my surprise Crispin was with Aunt Sophie and she was looking rather pleased.

“Oh, here’s Frederica,” she said.

“Mr. St. Aubyn has been talking to me.

It’s an idea he has. “

“I’m sorry I disturbed you,” I said.

“I didn’t know you had a visitor.”

“This concerns you. Come and sit down. You’d like a cup of tea, I know.”

She poured it out and I took it. Then she smiled at Crispin.

“It’s just an idea I had,” he said.

“I thought it might be of interest. You may have heard of the Merrets. He was one of the two assistant managers on the estate. Mrs. Merret was a great help to him in his work. They are leaving for Australia at the end of next week.

His brother is farming over there and has persuaded them to join him.

At last they have decided to do so. “

“I did hear something of them,” I said.

“A good fellow, Merret. Someone’s taking over his work, so that is not the point. It was just Mrs. Merret. She was a great help to him in his work and therefore to us.”

“Wives often are,” commented Aunt Sophie, ‘and rarely get the credit until they are no longer there. “

He smiled rather grudgingly.

“Yes, you could say that. Merret was excellent but Mrs. Merret had a way with her. 1 suppose you would call it the feminine touch. Merret might have been a bit gruff at times. He was a man of few

words and when he talked he spoke his mind, whereas she knew how to handle people. She also knew what was right for the cottages . those Elizabethan ones on the edge of the estate. She made sure that they did not lose their char ac-i ter, whereas Merret might have had something done, if he I could get it at a low cost, which wouldn’t have been right for them. She made the tenants feel proud of their places. You see what I mean? “

Aunt Sophie was sitting back in her chair looking a little smug, while I was wondering what this was leading to.

The fact is,” went on Crispin, ‘hearing you talk about becoming a governess or companion, I thought this might suit you better.”

“Suit me? What do you mean?”

“I thought you might care to take over Mrs. Merret’s work. It would mean getting to know something about the properties, but most important, the people. Dealing with them tactfully. James Perrin is taking over Merret’s work, and you’d be working with him. What do you think?”

“I’m just astounded. I’m not sure what I should be expected to do, and whether I would be capable of it.”

“Well, you were always interested in old buildings,” said Aunt Sophie.

“And you’ve always got along well with people.”

“You could try it,” said Crispin.

“If you didn’t like it, you could give it up. You could see Tom Masson about a salary. He deals with that sort of thing. Why not give it a try? I think you might like it better than tiresome children or querulous old ladies.”

“I think I should have to know more about it,” I said.

“I am not sure that I have the qualifications.”

“That will soon be discovered. I think you might become really interested. Some of the properties on the estate go back a long way.

We have to make them comfortable enough to live in without spoiling the old features. People are beginning to value these old places.

They’re solid. They knew how to build well in those days. See how they have stood up to the years. “

“I can’t imagine what I should have to do.”

“It’s simple. You get to know the people. You go round in your official capacity and they’ll talk about their dwellings. You listen sympathetically. We have to keep them in good order. They ask for all sorts of things. You will explain why this or that could not be done.

You’ll see. In any case, you won’t know whether you want to do it until you have tried, will you? “

“It sounds very interesting to me,” said Aunt Sophie.

“When would you want me to start?” I asked.

The sooner the better. Why don’t you go along and see Tom Masson and James Perrin? They’ll give you all the details. “

“Thank you,” I said.

“It was good of you to think of me.”

“Of course I thought of you,” he said.

“We need someone to take Mrs. Merret’s place.”

When he left and we sat back listening to the sound of his horse’s hoofs on the road until they died away. Aunt Sophie laughed.

“Well!” she said.

“What did you think of that?”

“I can hardly believe it.”

“It sounds a cosy sort of job.”

“It’s amazing. How should I know anything about property?”

“Why shouldn’t you learn? He’s what I’d call a cryptic sort of fellow.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“You can’t be sure what he’s getting at. I imagine there’s something behind most things he does.”

“And what’s behind this?”

She looked at me knowingly.

“It’s my opinion that he takes an interest in you. He doesn’t like the idea of your going away. The talk of governessing has put this into his mind.”

“You mean he is creating this job just to keep me here? That’s a bit wild, even from you. Aunt Sophie.”

“He’s bound to have his reasons. I am sure he has some idea that he has to keep an eye on you. It’s somewhere in the past…”

“Do you mean Barrow Wood?”

“That’s something none of us is likely to forget, and it applies to him as much as any of us. Let’s say, because of what happened, he takes a special interest in you and he doesn’t think it would be a good thing for you to go off on some wild-cat scheme.”