Seven for a Secret (17 page)

“I understand that he led you to think he was in love with you and then went off and married Tamarisk.”

She said desperately: “Yes, yes. That’s what he has done.”

“Well then, you are well rid of him. It is Tamarisk whom we should be sorry for.”

“I would do anything to be where she is.”

“Be reasonable. Daniel loves you. You like him. He’ll be a good husband, because he is a good man. Oh, I know he doesn’t dance well and travel around and know how everything should be done in top circles. That doesn’t count for much. It’s goodness … fidelity.”

“Don’t go on like that, Freddie. It’s like some sermon. I can’t bear it.”

“All right,” I said.

“But I’m glad it wasn’t you he married. Actually, 1 think Tamarisk has made a big mistake. Crispin St. Aubyn thinks so too.”

i37

We sat for a long time staring at the stream and saying nothing. I felt very uneasy about Rachel.

Mrs. St. Aubyn roused herself. Marriage at Gretna Green was all very well, but she would like to see a proper wedding in our own church.

Both Tamarisk and Gaston were quite agreeable and this was arranged.

Mrs. St. Aubyn’s health had improved wonderfully. She had been planning more balls for Tamarisk in an endeavour to launch her daughter into society, but Tamarisk had forestalled her by making the process unnecessary.

The wedding, of course, would not be all that she desired; if she had had more time, it would have been better, but she wanted to get the ceremony over as soon as possible just in case there were those who felt the simple marriage which had already taken place was no true one.

Banns were read in church. I was a bridesmaid; and the Reverend Hetherington conducted the ceremony. Tamarisk wore a wedding gown made of silk and lace which her mother had worn at her wedding, and Mrs. St. Aubyn, though not quite well enough to attend the church, received the guests at the reception at St. Aubyn’s afterwards.

Now no one could doubt that Tamarisk and Gaston Marchmont were well and truly married.

Rachel had not been in church. She was not well, we were told. She was closer to me than Tamarisk had ever been, and I was anxious about her.

I could not get out of my mind the memory of her sitting by the stream with that look of abject misery in her eyes. All the time I was at the reception thoughts of her kept intruding into my mind.

Aunt Sophie and I had returned home afterwards and still 1 was thinking of Rachel. I had a premonition that something terrible might happen.

Dusk was falling and I knew I could not rest until 1 saw Rachel. I slipped out of The Rowans and ran all the way to the Bell House.

1 had to pass by the stables and, as I did so, my heart bounded with shock. The stable door had been kept locked and now it was unlocked.

I paused and looked at it. I felt a great revulsion. The place filled me with horror. I felt that if 1 pushed open that door and went in I should see Mr. Dorian hanging there. I would see those frightening eyes looking at me accusingly. They would seem to say to me: It was because of you this happened to me.

That was foolish. It was not because of me. Crispin had made that very clear. I was wrong to think like that.

As I stood hesitating, there was a slight breeze and the door moved. I heard the faint creaking sound as it did so.

Why should someone open the door now? Why had I been aware of this strange impulse to come to the Bell House?

I had a feeling that Rachel was in danger and needed me.

I steeled myself. I went to the stable door. I pushed it open and went in.

“Rachel!” I cried.

She was sitting on the floor and there was a rope in her hands.

“What are you doing?” I cried.

She said fiercely: “What are you doing here?”

“I had to see you. I felt you were calling me. Then I saw the stable door was open.”

“You should go away.”

“No, 1 won’t. What are you doing in this awful place?”

She looked at the rope in her hands and did not answer.

“Rachel!” 1 cried.

i39

“He did it,” she said.

“It seemed the only way to him.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Freddie, I don’t want to be here any more. 1 can’t. It’s too awful.”

“What are you saying?”

“I can’t bear it. I can’t live through what will have to come.”

“You’re talking nonsense. People have to live through whatever comes.

It’s Tamarisk and Gaston Marchmont, isn’t it? He made you believe you were the one. Well, I reckon you’re lucky not to be involved with him.

Think of that. “

“You don’t know what you are saying.”

“You mustn’t think of this,” I went on.

“This dreadful place. I can’t bear it. Let’s get out of here. Come with me. Let’s go to the orchard and talk.”

“There’s nothing to say. There is nothing that will make any difference.”

“Perhaps we can think of something.”

She shook her head.

“Well, I’m going to try,” I insisted.

“But not here. I can’t endure this place. Come with me. Let’s get out of here.”

I took the rope from her hands and threw it into a corner. I put my arm through hers.

“Have you got the stable key?” I went on.

She took it from the pocket of her dress and gave it to me. I led her to the door. I looked back at those rafters, almost expecting to see him there leering at me.

I shut the door firmly, locked it and put the key in my pocket.

“Now,” I said, ‘we’ll go to the orchard where we can talk. “

We sat there. She was shivering and I was trying not to think of her body hanging limply from those rafters. Would she have done it? She was in a mood to. She really was so wretched that she did not want to live.

1 had come in time. I had known I must go to her. There was a very special friendship between us. 1 was here to look after her.

“Tell me all about it,” I said firmly.

“It’s worse than you think. You think I have just been jilted.”

“Did he say he would marry you?”

“Well, not exactly …”

“Implied it?” I said.

She nodded.

“I thought we were going to be married. That was why … it all seemed so natural. You see, Freddie, it’s not only that he’s married Tamarisk. I… I’m going to have a baby.”

I was astounded. I stared at the stream in horror. I dared not look at Rachel for fear she would see how shocked I was.

“What … what are you going to do?” I stammered.

“You saw what I was going to do. It seemed the only way.”

“Oh no. That’s not the way.”

“How else?”

“People do have babies.”

“They are supposed to be married. Then it would be wonderful. If you are not … it’s terrible. You are disgraced for ever.”

“Not for ever. It comes right in the end sometimes. Tamarisk doesn’t know?”

“Of course not. Nobody knows but myself … and now you.”

“Not … him? He doesn’t know?”

“No.”

“He is … despicable.”

“It’s no use talking like that. It doesn’t help.”

“That’s true. He’s married to Tamarisk now. Oh, Rachel, what can we do?”

“I don’t see any way out of it, Freddie. That’s why …”

“You must not do that. Everyone would know. So what difference does it make?”

“I shouldn’t be here to care.”

“There must be a way.”

“What? I don’t know of one.”

“Suppose you told him?”

“What good would that do?”

“Oh, poor, poor Rachel! But we’ll think of something. It’s a pity it isn’t Daniel.”

“Daniel!”

“Daniel is such a good man. He would never be like Gaston Marchmont.

He is callous. I don’t know how any one can care for him. “

“He is very charming … different from other people.”

I was not listening to her, for an idea had struck me. I wanted to think about it, and keep it to myself until I had.

“I can’t see any way out,” said Rachel.

“And, Freddie, I can’t face it. I can just imagine the fuss … the scandal … everyone in Harper’s Green talking about it.”

I said: “Don’t do anything yet. Don’t say anything. Will you promise me this? You won’t do anything until I see you tomorrow. Will you promise me that?”

“What are you going to do?”

“There might be a way out of this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know yet. I just want you to promise me one thing. That you won’t do anything until you hear from me.”

“When shall I hear?”

“Soon. 1 promise you.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes, tomorrow. This is a secret. Please don’t do anything yet. I think there might be a solution.”

“You’re not going to see Gaston?”

“No. Certainly not! I never want to see him again. Please trust me, Rachel.”

“Really, Freddie, I can’t see …”

“Look here. Why did I go into the stables just then? It was because something made me. I knew it was important that I should. It is because there is something special between us. I have an idea that this can work out. Please do as 1 say. Trust me, Rachel.”

She nodded. Till tomorrow, then. “

I left her then. I felt the key in my pocket as I ran from the Bell House to Grindle’s Farm.

1 prayed all the way, let Daniel be there! Please, please, God, let him be there.

My prayer was answered. He was the first person I saw when I reached the farmhouse.

“Oh, Daniel!” I panted.

“I am so pleased to see you. I must talk to you. It’s very important.”

“My dear Freddie …” he began.

“It’s about Rachel,” I said.

“I am very, very worried. Where can we talk?”

At the mention of Rachel’s name he looked alarmed.

“Come into my workshop,” he said.

“It is just here.”

I went with him. In the room there were two stools and a bench with tools lying on it.

“Now,” he said, ‘what is it? “

“She was going to kill herself.”

“What?”

“Daniel, I’m afraid she will. She is very, very unhappy. I know you love her. So do I. She is my best friend. I couldn’t bear it if ..”

“What is all this about?”

“It’s Gaston Marchmont.”

He turned pale and I saw his fists clench.

What has he done? “

“He’s married Tamarisk.”

“And Rachel?”

“She thought he would marry her.”

“My God,” he said quietly.

i43

“Yes, he’s a … philanderer. He courted Rachel …” 1 hesitated. I was praying silently again. Please, God, let me do this right. I have to explain to him . for Rachel. Let me do it the right way and let him understand. It’s the only way. If he won’t help, she’ll kill herself.

I steeled myself afresh.

“She … she is going to have a baby. I found her in the stables where Mr. Dorian hanged himself. Something led me there. We’re very great friends. Daniel, I would do anything I could for Rachel. I thought you might, too.”

He stared at me unbelievingly. I thought: He is shocked. He is horrified. He doesn’t love her as much as I thought he did.

“She can’t face it, Daniel,” I pleaded.

“She can’t face it … alone.”

“In the stables,” he muttered.

“Where the old man …”

That must have been why she thought of it. She was going to do it, Daniel. If I hadn’t gone in . “

“Rachel…” he murmured.

“She was so unhappy. Oh, how I hate that man!”

The silence seemed to go on for a long time. Then I said:

“If only he hadn’t come here. I thought perhaps you might love her enough. You did ask her to marry you.”

“She didn’t accept me. It was because of that man.”

“People make mistakes about other people, Daniel. If you really loved her … I thought you did. It’s why I came. I’m sorry now. I thought if you really loved her, you could marry her. Then it would be all right about the baby.”

I was going too far. That sense of the important part I must play had been chosen to play in this tragedy was fast disappearing. I was trying to arrange other people’s lives. It was arrogant. It was meddling. And Rachel’s life was at stake.

I heard myself saying: “I suppose you think it is no business of mine.

But she is my friend. I care about her so much. 1 just can’t let her kill herself when there is a way out.”

Daniel spoke then.

“You’re a good girl,” he said.

“You did right to come to me.”

“Oh, Daniel, did I? You will, then? Oh, thank you … thank you.”

He said: “I’ll go and see her.”

“There isn’t much time. I was afraid to leave her. Daniel … will you come now?”

“Yes,” he said.

“I’ll come now.”

He sat me in front of him on his horse and we went to the Bell House.

When we arrived and had dismounted, he said: “Go home now, Freddie. I will go to Rachel. I shall come to see you before I go back to the farm.”

“Oh, Daniel … thank you … thank you.”

My lips were trembling. I was still praying inwardly that he would do what I wanted him to do.

He looked at me for a few moments and I could see that he was very moved.

Then he kissed me lightly on the forehead and said, as he had before:

“You are a good girl.”

He turned away, and I went home and straight to my room. I did not talk to anyone of what had happened . not even Aunt Sophie.

A month later Rachel and Daniel were married. It was a quiet wedding, as there was just enough time for the banns to be read in church. I was well aware that in due course people would be nodding their heads and whispering that the reason for haste was now clear.

Daniel was happy and I was glad. I felt very proud of myself for thinking of this solution, and extremely gratified because it had come to pass. 1 was old enough and wise enough to have realized that Daniel was an unusual man.

i45

And how fortunate it was that he had been at hand to set this matter right. I had witnessed that rare phenomenon an example of selfless love; and I thought what a lucky girl Rachel was to have inspired it.