Seven Days (7 page)

I snort. “It’s not a catfight. She’s weird. Did you seriously look at her? I know you two used to play together or whatever, but honestly – would you go near her now?”

I can hear him tapping now, obviously on his stupid computer. “That’s harsh. There’s nothing wrong with her. You and Marnie are bang out of order. Just because she’s not stick thin.” He sighs. “Honestly, I hate girls sometimes.”

“You just don’t get it,” I say. “She could make more effort.”

“Well – whatever, get over it. I wasn’t chatting her up or anything. She just said something funny. I’m allowed to talk to other girls, aren’t I?”

Yeah, yeah … just not her!
I can still hear him tapping. I think I’m losing his attention.

“So Saturday’s all sorted?” I ask, biting back the shivers.

“Oh yeah. It’s going to be amazing. You’ll be amazing. You always look good, you know that.”

The blood is pulsing in my ears. “Really, do I?”

“Yeah, course you do. I’ll be proud to show you off.”

Show me off? Did this actually mean he’s feeling more serious about us?
A thousand thoughts are fighting for attention in my brain, but I take a deep breath and lift my head towards the milky sky. Above me a few stars are twinkling. I know this could be a hugely significant moment.

Or it could mean absolutely nothing…

I remember watching Dad playing poker, one of the few things he still loves. He sits with his hand held close to his face, his expression as blank as the back of the cards.

Never give yourself away, Kez. Never show your weakness.

I can taste smoke on my breath. And grit.

“I have to go now,” I say. “I just wanted to speak to you.”

“Night, babe,” he says back and I wait until I see the screen on the phone go dark. He’s gone.

Yet I don’t go straight away. I stand rooted to the spot, staring up at the dark towers.

Wishing I had a different hand to play.

Kez Walker: Got to stop letting the little things get to me…

1 hour ago.

Marnie: Or the BIG things. Lol

Kez: Yeah. ;o)

Lois: ???

Marnie: Stig upset Kez 2day

Kez: Nothing really. Just winds me up

Lyn: …Baby, don’t stress. Ruins your pretty face.

Kez: Aw

Lyn: Told u theres nothin 2 worry bout. AND B NICE!

Kez: I know. But she winds me up. And did you see her hair today? Does she ever brush it?

Marnie: Likes the wild look

Lois: Oh I see this again…

Marnie: Sorry Lois r we borin u?

Kez: least we say what we think

Lois: Yeah whatever

“Why can’t I have Rice Krispies again?”

Hollie is really whining now. She’s already driving me mad and it’s only breakfast time. The empty packet is sitting between us like a tatty barricade. She keeps banging the side of it in protest, like doing that would magic up more cereal.

“Toast,” I say. “There’s enough bread for toast.”

For you anyway.

I shove two dry slices into the toaster. It stinks of burnt crumbs. I swear one day this knackered thing will electrocute me. It must be about a hundred years old and has rust creeping up the corner like a nasty stain. I find myself running my finger over the roughness. I like the feel. I’m not really concentrating anyway. I have half an eye on Mum’s computer, which is blinking at me from across the room. I knew it was a stupid idea to check the internet last night. Why do I do it to myself?

“I don’t want toast. I don’t like toast.” Hollie’s pouting now. How did she get such beautiful full lips? It’s not fair.

“Whatever,” I mutter, watching the red wires heat the bread. My own stomach is growling and the smell of cooking bread is making it worse. I rifle through the cupboard above me and find some peanut butter. That’ll do. I spread it on nice and thick. All the time Hollie is fake crying and still poking the cardboard box in frustration.

She gets the proper breakfast, while I get spoonfuls of peanut butter and a couple of dry digestives. I have a Mars bar in my bag though. I can eat that on the way to school.

Why did I log on? It’s like I had to torture myself reading Kez’s messages. And then there was Lyn’s reply… He obviously really, really likes her. Maybe they laugh about me behind my back? Yeah, I can see it now…

I hear the door slam and Mum’s footsteps down the hall. Faster this morning.

Mum walks in and stands in the doorway for a few seconds just watching us. Her skin still has a grey tinge to it, but at least she’s not frowning. A smear of pink lipstick stains her lips.

“I’m so sorry,” she says, seeing me sucking on the spoon. “I’ve been paid now. I’ll get some bits in.”

“Is that OK?” I say. “It’s just we’re out of nearly everything.”

“I want Rice Krispies,” says Hollie, but at least she’s taken a few bites of her toast. She’s not stupid.

Mum stares at me, her eyes fixed and cool. “I said I will. So I will. Tell you what; I’ll even get us fish and chips tonight as a treat. What d’ya say?”

My stomach growls again. My brain on the other hand is considering the amount of fat in chips. It’ll just flop straight to my stomach. But I have to eat something, don’t I? And chips taste so good.

Hollie is already cheering and high-fiving Mum. What else can I do but nod as well?

I’m doomed to stay like this for ever.

“C’mon then, you better get a move on,” Mum says, looking at me.

I nod,
yeah OK
. But first I need to log out of her computer. Knowing Mum she’ll be on it herself once I’m out of here – and I don’t want her to see what they’ve been writing. Glancing at the screen, I see the red notification telling me I’ve been tagged again. My skin goes cold. Is it Kez? I click the link quickly, like it might actually jump up and bite me.

A picture flicks up; it takes me a moment or two to take it in. Slightly blurry images of two little children playing, blowing bubbles in the sun. One of them is me, chubby arms and legs shoved in shorts that are far too small and a boyish blue T-shirt. My hair is cropped and sweaty. I look just like a boy. Hideous.

The other child is Lyn, also in shorts but much cuter of course. He is tall, with caramel-coloured skin, smiling directly at the camera. I remember his dad taking the picture. I remember us both laughing as the bubbles popped in our eyes and mouths. It had been a good day.

I look up and see that Lyn posted this only minutes ago. Above it is the message – “old skool memories”.

I stare again at the picture; at the fat, red-faced girl trying hard to blow the biggest bubble, looking like her cheeks might burst with the effort. She was trying so hard to impress her bestest friend in the world.

Why would he post this?

What does he really think of me?

I came into science early and chose a seat at the front as always. Kez and Marnie never want to sit there. As the class starts to file in, I begin digging about in my bag, pulling out books, making myself look busy. I don’t want to see them. My head is full of negative thoughts.

I remember when Hollie was little she used to love playing hide-and-seek. For her, it was enough just to shove her podgy hands in front of her face.

I can’t see you, so you can’t see me.

If only that were true.

I hear their voices of course. Who wouldn’t? Kez is roaring with laughter, she has quite a loud voice anyway. I’m not even sure she realizes its strength. My back stiffens, but I try and concentrate hard on my homework. Checking it over, making sure it’s OK. I expect them to pass by me, to sit at the back where they always do, away from the scrutiny of Mr Jones. It’s not like they make any effort in lesson.

But instead Kez flops down on the seat next to me. She throws her bag down on the workbench. It’s no accident that it lands flat on my book.

“Sorry, Jess,” she says in a sweet voice. “Were you reading that?”

I pull my book back. It’s no big deal really. “Yeah, I was just checking something.”

Kez leans over me. I can smell her perfume, really sweet and heady. “Oh, look at you – homework all done. Aren’t you good?”

I shrug. “I guess.”

“You’re gonna let me copy, right?” She doesn’t even wait for my answer, just sweeps up my book and turns to Marnie. “Look what Jess has given us, saves us a detention.”

Good old Jess. Aren’t I the nice one?

I watch as the two of them giggle, copying my answers. They aren’t even attempting to make any changes. Mr Jones isn’t a complete moron; he’s bound to work it out. We’ll probably all end up in trouble now and that’s the last thing I need.

As soon as he walks in, Kez throws the book back at me. It lands awkwardly on my lap and in an attempt to grab it, I end up knocking it on the floor.

“Clumsy…” Kez hisses.

I resist the urge to glare back at her and instead attempt to pick the book up as quickly as possible. As I’m bending over, I feel a shove in my side. It doesn’t take much to knock me off the stupid wobbly stool that I’m perched on.

I fall on the floor in a heap, on my side, my skirt riding up my legs. The laughter is so loud, it’s like everyone in that room is joining in. I want to cover my ears to escape. It’s so mortifying; I can’t bring myself to move from the floor. It’s as if I’m stuck there, as leering, mocking faces peer down at me.

And
hers
is the closest.

“Jess, what are you doing down there?” Kez asks, with fake concern.

“Like you care,” I mutter back.

Mr Jones is at the front of the class now. I can see his shiny shoes. He must spend ages polishing them.

“What’s all this noise?” he booms.

“Jess is on the floor, sir,” says Marnie.

“What are you doing down there, Jessica? Get up at once. This is a science lab, not a playground.”

I pull myself up, aware of the sniggers. I seem heavier somehow and it seems to take for ever to get back on to the stool. My hip aches where I fell.

“What were you doing down there anyway?”

“Like a little piggy, you like to roll around in the dirt,”
whispers Kez. Her eyes are bright and piercing. She is daring me to challenge her. I turn away.

“I fell, sir,” I mumble.

“Well, be more careful,” he mutters and is soon distracted by his handouts. I sit there glaring at the grumpy old git. Why doesn’t he see what’s really happening? Why does no one else see?

“I bet you liked it down there,” Kez hisses at me. “Judging by the state of you, you’re used to living in muck.”