Seth's Cravings: An Endless Series: Book 2 (21 page)

     He was making me want him and that was unacceptable.
However, it also seemed inescapable.
Uhhgg
!

     I could see that he was interested in me. I wouldn’t be
a good poker player without being able to read people, and he was giving off
some obvious signals. He was also sticking up for me, doing things for me,
being nice to Luka and Issy…it was rather overwhelming. I wasn’t accustomed to
all this facilitation from another person.

     Seth stood up and moved toward me and I stiffened
involuntarily wondering what he was up to. I watched him pick up an ottoman and
move it over in front of me. I continued to watch him as he proceeded to sit
down on it giving me a smile as he did.

     “Looks like we’re on the same team.” He said.

     I frowned. I’d been concentrating on him so hard I had
missed the picking of teams. Looking around I could see that Carrie had divided
the group into three teams. Samantha and Landon were also on our team and had
moved closer.

     “I have to warn you guys that I’m not up on my American
trivia.” I informed them.

     Samantha smiled. “It’s not just American. It’s world
trivia.”

     “Well, I’m not so hot there either.” I grumbled. Math
was about the only thing I excelled at.

     “That’s what four player’s are for.” Seth patted my
knee sending a flare of heat through my leg and further up which had me
clenching reflexively. He then left his hand there like it was no big deal
making the heat burn dangerously high…and long.

     The game started and for the duration of it I couldn’t
seem to shake his touch. I would move or shift in a way that would necessitate
Seth removing his hand, but it would end up back on my knee seconds later. He
made it seem casual, but it was anything but.

     I could have made him lift it with a glare, or just by removing
it manually, but I didn’t want to create a scene. Seth patted Samantha’s knee
several times when she gave a correct answer so it might have looked like I was
making a big deal out of something casual. Although, he didn’t leave his hand
on her knee for an extended amount of time like he did with mine.

     I knew he was messing with me; making some kind of
move, but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of thinking he was
getting to me. Therefore, I did my best to ignore it.

     It was easier thought than done. I ended up sucking
down my drink and then when Seth offered to get me another I said sure just to
get some breathing room for a minute because his touch was driving my body
crazy. But he’d came back and settled his hand promptly back on me knee.

     Discounting Seth’s hand and the affect it had on me I
had an exceedingly enjoyable time playing the game. I couldn’t remember the
last time I’d socialized readily with people my own age. Generally my
socializing consisted of trying to win as much money as I could while pretending
to like the people I was with.

     But I truly liked this group of people. Even though
most of them came from money they didn’t think they were better than everyone
else. They also treated Luka and Issy like real people and not adolescent
intrusions in their day of fun and sun. I appreciated that above all else.      

     We spent the game the same as we’d spent the day;
laughing and joking with each other. It ended with us losing, but not by much.
Luka ended up winning with Carrie, Nic, and Evan.

     Landon shot up out of his seat. “It was fun folks, but
I need more action than this. Who’s coming?” Blake, Evan, Noah and Amanda stood
stating their desire to go out as well, and minutes later they were walking out
the door calling out goodbyes.

     Carrie jumped up pulling on Nic’s arm. “Let’s go walk
along the beach. It’s low tide and there will be cool things to see.” She
looked over her shoulder. “You guys want to come?”

     Luka looked over at me and I nodded. “Go ahead, but I
have to stay here just in case Issy wakes up.”

     Carrie grimaced looking embarrassed. “Oh, well, we
don’t have…”

     “Go ahead Carrie. I’ll stay back with Nadia and keep
her company.” Seth stated, hand still on knee.
    
Derr’mo
! I hadn’t even thought of that little wrinkle. That second
drink was messing with my reasoning. I only pretended to be a lush at those
poker games while I was in reality a light weight.

     Carrie smiled widely. “Oh, good.” Grabbing Nic’s hand
she pulled him after her with Samantha and Luka trailing behind them.

     Luka threw me a look asking if I was still okay with
this and I gave him a short nod in reply, but anxiety tightened my belly as I
watched them walk off leaving me alone with Seth.

     “Would you like another drink?” Seth asked squeezing my
knee.

     Yeah, that would help me make good decisions tonight.
“No, I’m good.” It was only nine-thirty and the sun was just setting but I was
debating on whether to announce my desire for bed.

     “That was impressive what you did earlier...knowing the
answers to those number problems.” Seth said.

     I nodded my head indifferently. Everyone was rather
awed by that trick.

     “But…” I met his gaze at that ‘but’. Not many people
said ‘but’ after seeing what I could do. Seth stared at me pensively. “I’m more
impressed by what you have done in your life; getting your journeymen’s, taking
care of your sister and brother, making sure to keep the promise you made to
your mother…”

     I felt my throat closing up at his words. I took care
of my family because I loved them and I didn’t need someone to pat me on the
back for it, but to actually hear someone sincerely acknowledge my actions
was…well, it was…

     “Hey, you okay?” Seth grasped my hand looking at me in
concern.

     I cleared my throat. Must be the alcohol making me all
shaltay
slabyy (
wishy
washy
).
“I’m fine.” I separated our hands on
the pretense of reaching for my watered down drink because his touch on both my
knee and hand were too disturbing.

     And because I was slightly tipsy, emotional, and wanted
to change the subject I started blabbing. “You know…my cousins thought that my
ability should be utilized in a way that brought in the most profit. That’s how
I learned how to play poker.”

     “Your cousins in the mafia?” Seth asked in shock.

     He remembered that tidbit. “
Da
.”

     “How old were you when they decided this?”

     “Fourteen.”

     The shock on Seth’s face escalated. “Seriously! How old
were your cousins?”

     “Nineteen and twenty-two.” Vlad and Victor had been
huesos’s
(cocksucker’s) but to a fourteen year old who’d just gone through an extremely
dreadful event they’d been an outlet for bad behavior.

     “These guys sound like real jewels. No wonder your mom
didn’t want you around them.” Seth shook his head in disgust.

     I chuckled wearily. He didn’t know the half of it. “You
don’t know the half of it.”
Blin (
Damn
)
! I hadn’t meant to say
that out loud.

     Seth gave me a look of commiseration. “What did she do
when she found out?”

     I sighed through the pain in my chest and stared him in
the eye. “She sent me here.”

     His eyes widened. “She sent you to America because your cousins were teaching you poker?”

     I raised one brow at him. “They also taught me those
nifty knife tricks, and a few other things.”

     Seth frowned. “Were they teaching you all this stuff
because they wanted you to join the organization?”

     I slouched back in my seat staring at him pensively wondering
why I was sharing so freely. He was always asking me questions and I was always
answering them like I was some loose lipped Lucy. Was I really this hard up for
conversation?

     But was it the conversation…or was it just him?

     Suddenly I felt the need to truly shock him wondering
what he’d say. “They wanted to utilize me. They were what you would call
‘soldier’s’ in the
Bratva
, and they wanted to earn more money than what
they were making. They had some ideas about me becoming some high end
prostitutka
that could gamble and even double as a bodyguard, hence my ability to fight and
proficiency with the knife.”

     I watched Seth’s face fixedly and was thrown somewhat
by the ferocious anger, not shock, which covered his face. “Are you fucking
serious!” His hand on my knee squeezed tightly. “Your fucking cousins wanted to
turn you into a prostitute…at fourteen. Your cousins!” 

     “They weren’t boy scouts.” I rejoined irreverently.

     The anger was still on his face but he watched me with troubled
curiosity. “Did you know what they were planning?”

     I gave a short laugh. “No, not at first. I was in a bad
place in my life and I thought they were trying to be supportive…in their own messed
up way.”

     He turned on the ottoman facing me with an intense
expression and placed his large hands on either side of my knees clasping them.
My stomach clenched and I stared at him wide eyed. “What did you do when you found
out?”

     I forced a derisive smile onto my face in anticipation
of how he would look at me when I told him the truth. “I can’t lie, I thought
on it for a few days wondering if I could do it.”

     Seth stared back at me his expression unchanging and I
wondered how much effort it was taking for him to keep it that way. His hands
rubbed soothingly along the skin of my outer legs sending tingles everywhere.
“And then?” He asked huskily.

     I swallowed as his deep voice rolled over me. “My
mother found out and put a stop to zee whole zing. It was part of why she sent
all of us to America.” I winced slightly as my accent slipped because of the
emotional discussion.

     Seth must have seen my wince as a sign of guilt. “Do
you blame yourself for all of you being sent away?” He asked.

     Shame poured through me. “She would have sent us anyway,
she just sent us sooner.”

     “Why?”

     “She was sick…dying.” I looked away unable to look into
his sympathetic eyes without getting choked up. “Our relatifes in America, efen though she didn’t know them, seemed like the best option for us.” My stomach
clenched for an entirely different reason this time. I hated thinking about my
mother being alone while she slowly slipped away into death. She’d had some
close friends with her, but she should have had me there with her; taking care
of her, loving her.  

     Seth squeezed my legs. “I can see that you blame
yourself for not being there with your mother.”

     I gave him a self-derisive smile. “I understand why she
did it. Our relatifes in Russia were bad news and I was lucky to have gotten
away from zem when I did, and I am
extremely
glad zat Luka and Issy are
away from zeir influence. It just makes me sad zat I wasn’t zere for her in zee
end.” My eyes prickled with tears but I kept them at bay. 

     “What did she die of?”

     “Colon cancer.” I replied huskily.

     “It sounds like she possibly knew it would be a long
and painful decline and didn’t want her children to have to see and deal with
that. Knowing that you were settled somewhere safe probably set her mind at
ease, and I’m sure you reassured her that you were…settled and happy, didn’t
you?” Seth rubbed his thumbs over my skin staring at me intently.

     I stared back at him in astonishment. I
had
made
sure she knew we were settled and happy, even though the three of us had hated
living with my
ottsy(father’s)
family. I hadn’t wanted her to worry.

     Seth smiled compassionately. “Your love and concern for
your family is undeniable. It’s exceptionally admirable.”

     “If I was so admirable I wouldn’t hafe made my
mat’
worry in zee first place.” I declared forlornly. My eyes widened in bewildered
astonishment. Was that me whining? I didn’t whine. 

     “You said you were going through a bad time. What
happened?” Seth asked.

     No! This was too much! I abruptly stood causing Seth to
fall back. “
B’lyad
! Why am I efen talking about zis?” I looked down at
him in anger because I didn’t like feeling like this. I didn’t do extreme
emotions. I liked control. “You are always getting me to spill zings better
left unsaid.”

     Moving around him I walked over to the railing to check
the beach for Luka. They must have gone quite a distance down the beach because
there was no sign of him or the others. I guess I really didn’t have to wait
for him before going up to bed. I trusted him to get there himself without
having to trail after him like his…
mat’.

     I drew in a shuddering breath to steady myself and
suddenly, without looking, I could feel Seth’s presence behind me. His heat
seemed to reach out to me and my body warmed and tightened in responsiveness.
Hands settled gently on my shoulders but they felt like fifty pound weights of
awareness and I held myself stiffly not wanting to crack under the unexpected
longing I felt to lean back against him.

     His hands began to message lightly and I almost groaned
in pleasure as he began to talk. “I can’t begin to comprehend what you went
through losing first your father and then your mother while living with
relatives you didn’t know and apparently didn’t want you, but I have lost
someone close to me so I know a little about the death and guilt of losing a
loved one.”

     His words had me standing completely still in unanticipated
interest.

     “My cousin, Derek, died when I was twelve years old. We
were best friends; the same age, lived next door to each other, and spent every
second we could together. He was more like a brother than a cousin. There was
this small river behind our houses about seven feet wide and three feet deep at
the most. Derek and I used to go back there all the time to fish and just mess
around.” Seth’s hands dropped from my shoulders to the railing next to my hands
effectively caging me. I should have felt unwillingly confined…but I didn’t.