September Again (September Stories) (14 page)

Pete Hendrix rescuing me from the bridge was the beginning of a new phase for us as a mother and daughter. Pete’s patience with her has been awe inspiring. He has openly shared and given Zelda poems and letters sent, unknown to me, to him from Jack before Jack became ill. Pete has been instrumental in our understanding of each other and aided her in overcoming the resentment of me, which she had harbored since finding my diary, which contained the story of Pete. I was going to give her that part of the story and explain it to her. Instead, she found it, unbeknownst to me. Sadly, what I meant to use to help her understand her life and my life with her father was taken the wrong way. I completely understand and know that I am a part of her troubled past. She has forgiven me. Thankfully!

She now understands that Pete was a part of my life that le
d me to her father-to-be. I never manipulated or seduced Jack. Jack and I healed each other from our pain, following the damage inflicted by Pete and Indie in our lives. We shared a love that was right and true. What I experienced with Pete was so wrong at that time. We were young and reckless, tied in a passion that could only burn a fiery ring. It did that too.

In this tangled web we call life, somehow Pete introduced me to Jack. I always knew that AND resented it. It felt as if Pete was in some way responsible for me knowing Jack. And, no matter how much I hated that, it was a fact that floated in my periphery of emotion and I never would accept it.

However, IF not for the relationship that certain summer, I would never have run away to London. That’s the part of me I always understand in Zelda—the need to run away. She did inherit some part of me, whether she likes it or not! But, run I did. Fortunately for me, I unknowingly ran straight into my one true, perfect love, Jack O. Savage. Somehow, even though he never said anything, I believe Jack knew more than he shared about my past. And, I believe he knew it was Pete that I was running from. Jack was smart and intuitive. Somehow, he knew the crazy poet writing him from Tennessee was in love with me. That was why Jack kept saying in the last weeks of his life, “Make it right, Liz. You know what to do.” Jack knew I had to make peace with my past before I could move forward.

I will never, never, ever never love another man the way I loved Jack.

But, Jack is gone. Now, I am older, weathered, and wiser. The years have changed Pete too. The heart and soul I always felt was there really is there. The timing was all wrong—everything was wrong. Now, it’s a different story. The fire has burned, yet the embers held a flame.

The dreams of my grandfather over the years urging me on, no matter how deep my despair…someday, one day
, you will understand. But not today. The dream of my grandfather, along with the Cherokee and brother Charles, taking Jack when I lost him.

Pete tells me the Cherokee warrior saved him from drowning the day he wrecked in Atlanta. Even through all the years and all the pain, Pete remembers the Cherokee pulling him from the water and telling him the exact words…someday, one day…but not today.

So, Diary, are you ready for the secret? That day is today.

Remember years ago when I swore to you that we were going to get a happy ending? Remember when I told you I didn’t know how, but Pete Hendrix was going to ask me to marry him? That was so long ago.

But, silly girlish dreams seem to come true when the time is right. My life has come full circle. Pete Hendrix asked me to marry him. What can I do?

Zelda is a remarkable young lady. Her grades are outstanding and she has almost finished her
doctoral degree. She is so beautiful to me. And so very in love with handsome Dr. Tillman. One day, she will give me gorgeous grandbabies. What she doesn’t know is that she is about to become even happier because Joseph – in an old fashioned way, you would be proud, Jack – Joseph has asked me if he can marry Zelda. He has a special evening planned. He will propose on one knee with the Kismet Diamond – just like you did, Jack. She’s mature enough to know what it meant to us. There is a twelve-year age difference, but that’s what we had, Jack. It seems normal that Zelda would fall for someone older. It’s what we taught her – how to love right. She is living what she knows.

Anyway, Pete’s children and Zelda
get along remarkably well. Zelda even knows his daughter from Vanderbilt. They have met at a few music events. Even Leanne and I have achieved a bit of an understanding, although we will never really be what you would call
friends
.

The only problem
is, I’m not certain I can ever be anything but Mrs. Jack O. Savage. Pete and I do love each other, we always have. As much as I hated him, he never really left my thoughts. Jack encouraged me to fall in love again during his last days. He knew I was too young to be a widow. Was Jack the love of my youth and is Pete the one I’m to spend the rest of my life with? I’m just so very confused.

Yes
, this is my most important confession to you, dearest Diary. Because there will be no more. You've been a faithful friend to me. And I have kept you loyally over the years of my tempestuous life. But now's the time for me to go, to stop pouring my life out to you and to start living it with Pete. He will be my confessor from now on. And I will be his.

Jack, I’ve saved this last letter from you
and carried it with me since you’ve been gone. As you requested, it is only to be opened when I consider marrying again.

~
~ ~

When she opens the letter, she sees Jack’s familiar handwriting and the tears begin to flow.

~ ~ ~

“Dearest You,

“Before I forget (again, again) - about the Tennessee state flower - the word Iris IS taken from the Greek word for rainbow. A promise is a promise and I could not leave you without keeping this one, Liz love. So now you know! The Cherokee Rose and the Iris, the two flowers of the Tennessee Valley. The flowers of my Liz, Elizabeth, my Lady from Atlanta.

“
Anyway, you are reading this … oh dear. This means that I am all over at last, done, finished, full-stopped. I hope it's not been too bad for you, Liz girl, though I know it will have been. I know how hard it was for you to watch me during the course of my illness. I was watching you too, you know, just like I always did, from minute one, from the first time I set eyes on you. Do you remember that? You, standing there looking at that picture, pretending not to know I was sitting on that gigantic black leather sofa taking you in, in  your cowboy boots and THAT hat! Whatever became of that hat anyway? I loved you from the start, Liz, and I loved you to the end. 

“
I was never much of a poet, Liz love, if I'm honest with myself. I know that much at least. I was wild, wild, wild in those early days. I did a lot of stuff that made me cringe later on. But you know all that. 

 
“You saved me, Liz girl, you plain saved me. I was a husk when you took up with me. You put the heart and soul back in me, you did. And I did my best to love you back.

“
There are a couple of things I've not told you. Now or never.

“
During my time, it has been a practice of mine to leave the odd verse hidden in odd places. Yes, I know. I can see the look on your face. But that is how it was. I never told you, or anyone else, for that matter, because I think people thought me odd enough already. There are several hidden around the farm in little tin boxes. They are little time capsules, I suppose. If you look in the bottom drawer of the bureau, you will find a small toffee tin. There is a poem in the tin. Well, I would like you to take the poem in the tin back home with you to LaFayette one day and hide it in one of those caves you were always telling me about. Put it under a rock or something. Don't make it too easy to find, but don't make it impossible to find either. I think there must be about 130 Jack O. Savage poems hidden around the world. I always left one when I went to a new country.

“
Liz, I forgot to do anything about the Daughters of the British Empire. Sorry about that. I know they are close to your heart. Please make a bequest from me to them. I'm cool about them using my name if they wish to. Please say it is to fund a place for a distressed artist type in one of their homes. I'll leave it up to you how to phrase the gift.

“
As you know, I've left a letter for Zelda when she gets to twenty-one. She's going to need all your patience, Liz love. She's a headstrong one. Can't think where she's got that from.

“
Finally, Liz love, I've gone now. But you live on. Liz, you are still drop dead (sic) gorgeous. You ARE A GOOD LOOKING WOMAN. Life with me obviously suited you! Seriously though, I forbid you to go into some black widow melancholy. You are to live, Liz love. You are to love. I want you to love again, Liz. Life is to be lived and that means love. You know the mantra: live to love and love to live. You are to love again, Liz. I will always be a part of your life. But your life must go on without me now. 

“
One last thing. I know about Pete Hendrix. I worked it out. It wasn't that difficult. He lost his way. That is all, as you say. He wasn't the first and he won't be the last. But he's a good man now. His letters helped me a lot, actually. He was like a poet's confessor to me. Don't look so shocked. You know I'd worked it out. Thank you for pretending during my illness. I know you didn't want to burden me.

“
Ach, what is it about September? Why is it that all the big stuff seems to happen in September in our family? Hey ho.

“
Dr. McSwan asked me if I’d read D. H. Lawrence’s
Ship of Death
. We had quite a discussion, actually. After he went, I fell into a doze and had the clearest of dreams. I was on the top of Barrow Hill, fittingly! I was lying flat out on my back on the grave of some Saxon big-hitter, Eric Bloodaxe or somesuch. My hands were resting on my chest and I was waiting. A skylark was singing. Bluebell sky, etc. And then my time came. I got up and the horse was standing there, waiting. Our eyes met. He was a big fella, a black stallion. I loaded my pens and my ink into the pouches on either side of the saddle. He seemed to know what I was doing. He pawed the ground approvingly and snorted a couple of times. And then I’m up in the saddle and we’re off. Powerful brute, he is. The ride of my life. There is a sort of lance up ahead on the slope. We are going up a grassy hill in black and white. There is a pennant hanging from the lance, my lance. I grab the lance as we storm past. The horse is strong. We emerge upwards from the heaving mosh pit at some rock gig. I think it’s the mighty Rammstein, but I’m moving too fast to know for sure. Up we go, up through the music, up and up. The flag unfurls. There’s a verse on it, a wonderful, long big verse, hundreds of lines of it. But I can’t read it because we’re going far too fast. I am so happy. Then I worry about my pens falling from the pannier, but they assure me they will not. All will be fine. And then… We burst into a rainbow of new lights, colours I’ve never seen in life. And I knew everything would be fine. I was not afraid. 

“I’ll be there, Liz. Fear nothing. We will meet again.

“I love you.

“Jack X”

As she folds the letter, she holds it to her heart. The tears continue to flow as the water from the creek glides ever onward, down the mountain. Pete’s cabin in as tranquil as it was all those years ago. The sun sets and the cacophony of bugs and night sounds begin their nightly summertime serenade. Somewhere on the mountain, a log fire burns. Liz never sees the spirits of the four guardians, faintly outlined in the trees surrounding the cabin. But, in her heart, she knows that they are there and will always be there for her, and for Zelda. Whatever her choice, it will be the right one because it will be made with love.

The End

To read how it all began between Pete and Liz, Jack and Liz, and Zelda and Liz, download your copy of
September Ends
,
the
first in the September Stories by Hunter S. Jones and

An Anonymous English Poet.

Co
ming Soon: The Soon-To-Be-Revealed pre-quel that chronicles the love between superstar poets Indie Shadwick and Jack O. Savage as only Zelda Savage can tell it.